Chapter 6:
Dear Jep,
Do you really think it’s possible to change your reputation without switching schools? I think if I even tried to change in the slightest way people wouldn’t accept it. They would always think of me as the one to never break rules and the great role model. People would just go crazy if I did anything at all different from my normal routine. So, I guess you are stuck with this version of me for a while. Nevertheless, once I’m somewhere new I think I’ll mix things up a bit, go a little wild. Speaking of wild, the Marauders played a hilarious prank on some Slytherins the other day. It really was funny watching Snape try to get back up. My friends and I entertained ourselves for many hours making fun of him. Have you ever done anything considered in the least bit wild?
Yours truly,
Wisher
James’s eyes scanned the page in his blue journal. Wisher, that’s an interesting choice for a nickname, James thought. He turned to Sirius and said, “Hey, some chick liked our prank. She said so in her letter.”
“Cool, man. Maybe she is the match for you. At least she enjoys our jokes.” He clapped James on the back, then headed towards the dormitory door.
“I doubt it. You know the only one for me is Lily Evans.” He glanced at the letter again. Just saying her name out loud gave him the chills. Lily Evans. The most gorgeous girl on the face of this earth, and now, she wouldn’t even yell at him. I sure messed things up, he thought. If only she could see.
“Hey, lover boy, you coming?”
James didn’t comment. He just stared off into space, thinking about his one and only flower. Lily Evans. Lily Evans. The name was etched in his brain, never fading, always haunting him. If only, he thought again. If only she could see.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Lily, Emily, and Julia were walking to Potions when Lily’s buddy journal started glowing. Excited she opened it up to see a new letter that filled almost a whole page. Happy, she stopped in her tracks and read:
Hey Wisher,
I haven’t done anything to drastic enough to consider it wild. I did blow up a friend’s birthday cake once. It was an accident, so I don’t know if you would consider it extreme. And I too dislike Snape. I doubt this will give away who I am, since he doesn’t exactly have a fan club. You realize you have given me a hint about your identity, you are a studious person. I’m an academic person too, however shocking that may be. Here are some more facts about me. I have two dogs, my favorite color is green, I love the name Harry, and I too enjoy flying. I’m sitting right now in the library, writing this letter, looking at the girls’ faces around me and wondering if one of them is you. Girls’ faces are of course impossible to read, but writing to you reminds me that maybe girls aren’t so unfathomably different from boys.
Your friend, (are we friends?)
Jep
Lily smiled. Of course they were friends! Jep, or whatever his name was, was very interesting. This guy was amusing and romantic, and she liked him, whoever he was.
“So…?” Julia inquired, seeing the look of happiness on Lily’s face.
“Oh, nothing, really,” Lily said, putting the journal back in her bag. “My Inner Buddy is just so entertaining. He is really interesting, you know.”
Judging by the look in Lily’s face, Julia knew it was more than that.
“Really? I didn’t know. What’s he like?” Emily said.
“Funny, charming, thoughtful,” Lily said, turning to Julia.
“Oh boy. Don’t tell me you like this guy already,” Julia said a look of disbelief on her face. “You can’t. You’ve only written to him once.”
“Twice actually, and I don’t,” Lily stated laughing. “I just like his company.”
“Company? You haven’t even met this guy and you like his company? You are crazy.” Lily laughed again, and the girls resumed their route to class. But one mind was a bit preoccupied.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
James sat in Charms class on Wednesday, not paying attention. Well he was paying attention, just not to Professor Flitwick. He was watching Lily. How her beautiful fire-red hair flowed down her back. How she raised her hand to answer every single one of Flitwick’s questions. How her bright green eyes twinkled when she laughed.
Oh, how she haunted him. She was so close, yet so far and distant. She never talked to him anymore, not even to yell at him. She was through with him entirely. Nowadays she would pass him in the hall and not even look at him. When she caught him being mean to Snape, or anybody else for that matter, she would just ignore them and move on. She was over him, completely and forever.
He shook his head. Don’t think that, he told himself. Or you will never get her to change her mind and befriend you again.
Oh, how he wished he had never said those words. To this day they still tortured him, echoing inside his head.
The four of them had been sitting in the common room, talking about the day’s events. Inside, James felt awful, but he masked his feelings for the sake of his dignity. He knew he hadn’t meant to hit her. But that wasn’t what everyone else thought. They weren’t quite sure why James Potter had pulled a prank on Lily Potter, the girl he had always wanted. They didn’t know why he had turned her into a giant canary. They didn’t know the truth, and that had cost him everything.
She had waltzed into the common room, and stomped right up to him.
“JAMES POTTER WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?” She had yelled to him, making the Marauders silent. Her face was red, but it wasn’t because she was embarrassed, it was because she was full of hatred, and anger.
“Entertainment, and it was pretty funny, you have to admit it, Evans,” he had said. Not agreeing with the words that had just forced their way out of his mouth. Sirius, for some idiotic reason, chose this moment to start laughing again. James wanted to punch him for laughing at Lily. She was hurt, hurt bad.
“What did I ever do to you?” Her voice had cracked, and you could see she was going to cry. James’ heart broke. He had made Lily Evans, his one and only true love, cry.
“Refuse to date me” Again he wasn’t quite sure where these words were coming from, but they were sure coming.
“We were becoming friends!” Lily had shouted at the top of her lungs. “I was beginning to trust you.” She then sank down onto the couch she had been leaning on for support. James wondered if she really wanted to be yelling at him. He knew if he could have chosen, he wouldn’t have picked this conversation.
"“Lily, I have perfect aim and never miss. But-’’ James softened, his shoulders sagged, and you could see it in his eyes. He hadn't meant to hit her. He had hoped she would realize that. And he was so sorry.
“Shove off, Potter; I am never speaking to you again.” She stood up, clenching her fists.
“How many times have I heard that Evans, yet you always come back for more.” How could he be saying that? It was if his brain was on autopilot and just wouldn’t stop.
“Shut up Potter, you are a bullying toe- rag with no heart!” Again, James felt like his heart had shattered.
“Is that so, Evans? Well, I guess I would just have to make you see that I have a heart.” James had started to move towards Lily, his arms outstretched.
“You take one more step, and I will hex you to the next century. I hate you! Do you hear me? I hate you! I never want to see your face again!” She then ran towards the stairs to the girls’ dormitory, leaving James standing there with his arms outstretched.
James had then sunk onto the couch, looking defeated. His eyes were distant, and he kept running his hands through his hair. Lupin, Sirius, and Peter glanced at one another, looks of shock and surprise on their faces. What was James doing not admitting it was an accident? Why would he do that to Lily? And, James, defeated by a girl? James Potter upset and depressed? They would have to fix that.
“Hey, Prongs,” Sirius said, moving over to the couch. “Don’t worry. She will want to see your face again. You are just so good looking” he smiled. But seeing that James hadn’t caught the joke, it quickly turned into a frown.
“Guys,” James said after a few more minutes of silence. “Give it a rest. She hates me. Always has, and always will.”
“Prongs, don’t say that, man. You know she hasn’t always hated you. Like she said, you were becoming friends,” Remus put in.
“Yeah, were being the key word there pal. Were. She hates me now, that’s for sure. And I screwed up big time.” He looked as if he could cry. James, crying? Not good.
“Hey, well you still have us,” Sirius said, trying to cheer him up. Remus gave him a shut-up-now look. “Ok, fine. I won’t try to help.” He returned to the game of Exploding Snap that Lily had so rudely interrupted.
“I am going to bed. Night guys” James got up slowly and made his way towards the staircase. He glanced at the girl’s dormitory and shook his head as he walked up the stairs.
James froze the painfully sad memory, not wanting to be depressed. He again glanced at Lily. She was talking excitedly to Julia. She was waving her hands, and smiling. James smiled. Just seeing her happy made him smile these days.
“I want two rolls of parchment on the history of the charm Sonorus,” Professor Flitwick announced to the class. “Due next class, please.”
James groaned. Behind him he heard Sirius mutter, “Hey, Remus, you will do it for me right?”
Remus laughed. “You? The great, magnificent Sirius Black, have me do his homework? I don’t think so. Aren’t you a big boy now? You can do it yourself.”
“What? But Mommy, I do not want do it! Homework is so boring.” Sirius was looking at Remus with puppy dog eyes that usually got him his way. James and Peter laughed.
“Nope-” But before Remus could make another remark Professor Flitwick spoke.
“You may go to your next class now.”
James got up amused at Sirius’ attempts to avoid homework. He was tired, but he made an effort to look awake and good as he passed Lily. He could feel her gaze on him as he made his way to the door. A bit of improvement, and hey, he could still try to impress her couldn’t he?
Love Letters by hp_princess
Chapter Notes: In which we see James' side of the story and letters are sent.