From Distant Eyes
He watched her from across the room. She was dancing with Krum, her date for this evening’s Yule Ball. If looks could kill, Krum would have died the moment he had walked into the room with her on his arm. His eyes drifted slightly to the red head who also seemed rather unhinged at the sight of her and the Quidditch star.
He let out a growl of frustration and anger.
It was no hidden fact that he hated her. What people didn’t know was that he hated her because he could never have her. Somehow, over the past four years he had managed to fall in love with her spunk. Unconsciously, his hand drifted up to his face as his fingers touched the spot she had hit him the previous year. Was it sad that he was rather turned on by the fact that she would hit him? Most people in this school were scared to death of him. Many of the girls fawned over him because of his looks and his wealth. But then there was her…
She didn’t give a crap about how much money there was to his name. Though, that could have something to do with the fact that she didn’t give a crap about him.
Somehow, that too turned him on. He had always liked a challenge.
Still, he made no attempt to pursue her. She would never have him, and even if she did, his father would kill him if he knew the thoughts running through his head. After all, who gave him the permission to love a mudblood? It was purely unacceptable. For one thing, Malfoy’s weren’t supposed to know how to love. Their hearts were merely an organ that pumped blood, there was no emotion hidden there.
Which left him with the frustrating question of why him. Why? Why did he have to have a heart that actually worked? Why her? Why did she have to be the one he secretly yearned for?
It was a battle that raged in his mind every day. It was an ugly battle of mind over heart, and his heart seemed to be winning.
He shook his head. It was foolish of him to think about her at all. Pointless for him to blindly give his heart to a woman that neither wanted it nor was, in the world’s eye, worthy of it. He could laugh at the latter thought. Her not worthy of him?! That thought was mad. She was worthy of anyone; it was him who wasn’t worthy of her. After all, what kind of man goes around insulting the woman he is in love with?
Draco Malfoy, that’s who.
He could never have her; it was something that he mentally repeated constantly. He had been hoping it would sink in, but, alas, it never had. Somehow, he knew it never would.
He was addicted to her. The overwhelming fact that he could never have her simply propelled his addiction and forced him into an automatic withdrawal.
Looking around the room, he seethed at the guys that were taking notice of her body that had been hidden under the unflattering school uniform. She definitely had a body, but somehow he had always known that. These guys staring at her now knew nothing. It was merely lust that was propelling them and that fact made him want to hit them, hex them, curse them… anything.
If he could just show her the inside of his mind and thoughts, maybe she would see… Maybe she would give him a chance.
He scowled and rolled his eyes. Those were thoughts of desperation. He hated desperation.
The only thing he seemed to feel more hatred for than desperation was the situation he was currently in. He was stuck. Minus his relationship with his father where he could never disobey his father out of fear of consequence, he had never been stuck in any situation. He ruled the Slytherin’s. In many ways, he ruled the entire student body of Hogwarts, in the same way his father ruled over him: fear. There was only a handful of students in Griffindor that would never fear him. She was one of them.
And, sadly, she would never know just how much he loved her for that.
He let out a sigh as he watched her laugh with him… with Krum… When he had first met Krum, he had liked him. But not anymore, not now… After Krum had managed to get the one girl he couldn’t. The one girl he wanted.
Suddenly she turned as she looked in his direction. She could probably feel his eyes staring at her intently. He kept his stance as for a few moments he managed to look straight into her eyes. He had no fear of her spotting him. She couldn’t seem him at all thanks to the invisibility cloak he had recently acquired.
Shaking her head slightly, she turned her attention back to Krum.
There was nothing he could do but watch her, so that was all he intended on doing. Tonight was his night. No one would miss him as they thought he had fallen ill after dinner. They thought he was in bed. They were wrong.
Maybe someday he would tell her how he felt. Who knows, maybe someday he would actually stop caring about his reputation and start being nice to her? And maybe someday she would reciprocate those feelings? Maybe, someday… But that was someday, and this was now. And for now, he supposed, all he could do was watch her from distant eyes.