Second Semester Begins
James exhaled as he glanced up at the castle framed by a cloudy, white sky towering over him. His scarlet and gold coloured scarf was wrapped loosely around his neck, and his black, small luggage bag was slung around his right shoulder. He stood in front of the grey stone steps to the intimidating entrance doors as other students (who were making their way back to their dormitories from the Christmas passenger train as well) passed him briskly to get inside the warm confines of Hogwarts.
Christmas had gone as fast as it had come.
James climbed the stairs with a heart not knowing what to expect. What would everyone think of him now? Would his friendship with Sirius outlast this fight? What would he do now that Lily was with somebody?
Feeling the warm heat of the castle against his face, he undid his scarf to let it hang off from his neck on both sides. James turned a corner swiftly in order to get to the flight of stairs heading to the Gryffindor common room.
That night when Audrey had held him on top of the balcony, he had cried until he had a blistering headache, and his eyes were too dry and raw to shed anything else. It had felt so awkward for him to cry. He felt that he was the James Potter, the confident individual that took everything in stride. So why did he let his emotions over ride him to cry on Audrey’s shoulder?
James re-adjusted the strap of his bag as he passed a couple of second years chatting on the stairwell.
On Saturday, the day after the Christmas party, James had spent most of his time packing frantically and silently, for his trip home for Christmas. He avoided all the rumors and gossip about his argument with Sirius circling around the air like thick fog as best as possible. James had also avoided Sirius and distanced himself away from the other Marauders as best as he could.
“James,” Remus had said while catching James rushing out of the portrait hole to grab a late snack in the kitchen on Saturday night, “do you want to talk?”
As Remus and James snuck through the halls they conversed about how they didn’t know that Sirius indeed had “actual” serious feelings toward Audrey. They had both assumed that Sirius had been eyeing Naomii the entire time because of the way the two of them seemed to flirt with each other.
“I guess it was just a close friendship that we mistook as a romantic interaction,” concluded Remus as he pushed open the door to the Hogwarts kitchen.
“That is truly the understatement of the year,” replied James as he glanced around at the house elves busy at work cleaning up.
“How do you know Audrey?” asked Remus curiously but cautiously at the same time as James inquired about any food left over to a small house elf.
James peered up at Remus and answered, “It’s kind of a long story.”
The two were handed small chicken pies in tin containers along with metal forks. As they headed back toward the Gryffindor common room, James had told Remus all about his “private” lessons with Audrey and how they had shared things with each other and learned to become so close as friends.
“And the reason I kissed her was becau- “ James tried to explain but was cut off.
“It was because you saw Lily kissing Brendan Fraser?” half answered and half questioned Remus as the two of them had reached the portrait hole and were holding two empty pie tins.
James simply nodded. “Yeah, something like that.”
James crawled through the portrait hole hastily and made his way up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories while passing left over tinsel, confetti, and wrapping paper littering the common room floor. Coming to his dormitory door, he opened it cautiously to find the room vacant with not even a trace of a single soul in sight. Sighing with slight relief, he dropped his bag with a thud on the floor near his bed and closed the oak, dormitory door behind him. Flopping onto his bed, James stared up at the ceiling and listened to the silence of the room.
Throughout the train ride back home for Christmas, James had pondered the question he had about his emotions over coming him. He would gaze out the window at the passing trees, flat farm land, and mountains with the scenes at the Christmas party, his argument with Sirius, and with Audrey, all swirling around inside his brain. By the time he had gotten off the train, he had known the answer to his question: The reason he was so full of raw emotion was because he loved Lily Evans with so much heart that it hurt.
As Christmas drew on, he wondered how he had ever come to like Lily Evans in the first place. What was so special about her? There were many, various girls in the school he could have yearned after, but out of all of them he picked the one that despised him for who he was. Recalling all the past situations, interactions, and things she had done through their past five years together was difficult. Remembering every single detail was tiresome and time consuming on James’s part, for he would spend hours day-dreaming in any spare time he could have to himself.
The festivities going on throughout his house were not as celebrated as he usually found them to be. His relatives had come from various parts of the world to all reside in the Potter mansion. His retired mother and father (as usual) were decorating the house with utmost haste, enjoyment, and excitement.
When James had arrived home in the evening from the train ride, his framed eyes were met with holly, tinsel, glittering Christmas decorations and a large Christmas tree decorated lavishly in the living quarters. Underneath the tree were many wrapped boxes and gifts which signified to James that all his relatives were already residing in the house.
James recalled a moment during the holidays where his parents and relatives had decided to go to a Muggle zoo to see something called “The Zoo Lights”. James had declined the offer in order to have the house all to himself. When everybody had gone via Floo powder, James had walked around the mansion with boredom until he caught site of his grand piano that seemed to tempt him to play. James had walked over and placed a hand on top of the keys and was almost about to play, but decided against it. Instead, he turned off the piano light and walked out of the room, leaving it in darkness.
Throughout Christmas and New Year, James kept a positive attitude around his family. He was still the smart-alec, clever James Potter, but nothing could hide the fact he seemed to be lacking something, though nobody spoke a word about it.
During the break, he received a letter from Audrey in the middle of the night from a grey, peaky looking owl. The letter had a Christmas card attached to it that wished him a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Within the letter, it asked about how he was doing, and whether his break was going well so far. At the end, she wrote that she had spoken to Sirius and explained everything, but she encouraged him to still talk to Sirius one-on-one when he had the chance. James sent a prompt response to her letter (also with a small Christmas card), and sent his grey, black speckled owl to deliver it. He also sent Christmas cards to Remus and Peter, but when it came time to send one to Sirius, James became reluctant.
Would Sirius really just send the card back, even if it contained a lengthy letter and apology? The fact that Audrey did indeed talk to Sirius though was another aspect that James thought about.
After a few contemplating minutes, James tied the letter and card to his owl once again and sent the letter out to number twelve, Grimmauld Place. Even after many days, did not receive a reply.
The holiday season pursued in the same fashion, and before he knew it, he was waving goodbye to his parents and getting back on a train to Hogwarts to start his second semester.
When the train pulled into the station symbolizing an end to a long journey, James stepped out to have the misty, foggy air hit him in the face as he recalled his discoveries to his soul searching: He cried because he loved Lily Evans, but the reason why he loved Lily Evans was still an unsolvable mystery.
Little did he know that he had already answered why he loved Lily Evans, for when somebody truly loves another, it is impossible to define or establish what they like about the other; that knowledge of knowing can only come from the heart, the soul.
James rolled over onto his side uncomfortably before lifting himself off his bed lazily and throwing his trunk open in order to put all of its contents back into their respective places. He threw his jacket carelessly onto his bed with his scarf, and dumped all of his clothing into his large trunk at the bottom of his bed. Tucking the bag underneath his bed sloppily next to his trunk, he fixed the collar of his white and dark green striped shirt and straightened out his grey t-shirt he was wearing underneath it. Rustling the back of his hair with boredom, he glanced outside at the cold, grey atmosphere that was January. Tucking his eleven inch wand into the back of his jeans, he slowly made his way downstairs to the common room.
Once there, his eyes were met with excited chatter about the passed holidays and how it felt good to be back. James glanced around the room wearily and decided that a walk around the halls might clear his head. As he stepped in front of the portrait hole, it swung open to his amazement and standing in front of him was a tall, grey-eyed teenager; Sirius.
For a few moments, the two of them just stared at each other speechlessly until the portrait swung back down to divide the two. Sirius was heard mumbling the password, and the portrait came flying back up once again.
“Hey,” started Sirius breaking the silence first, “do you want to talk?”
The halls were bare seeing as most of the students were found conferencing in their own dormitories about the winter break.
“Oh, I also got a huge bag of Fizzing Whizbees!” exclaimed one girl excitedly to her friend as she passed Sirius and James.
The two girls’ conversation echoed throughout the stone walls as they disappeared out of site.
“Look, Sirius,” began James almost immediately when he knew no one was nearby in ear shot. “I’m really sorry.”
Sirius just listened intently as the two continued to walk.
“I didn’t know you and Audrey had feelings for each other, and I didn’t mean to kiss her. I was just…” James paused slightly to find the correct words. “I was just slightly disappointed about Ev- Lily.”
Sirius exhaled while rolling his eyes. “’Slightly’?”
“Extremely,” corrected James sheepishly. “And everything you said at the Christmas party, everything you told me was right, alright? I should have told you where I was going, and I know I shouldn’t have kissed Audrey. It was unfair to the both of you. You’re my best friend, and I shouldn’t have kept it from you.”
James looked at Sirius unsurely.
“Well, first off, I was wrong. You don’t have to tell me everywhere you’re going, that’s just outright dumb. Another thing is I kept a secret from you, my best friend, about liking Audrey. I’m a downright hypocrite! I should have trusted and told you. The whole thing was just a huge misunderstanding,” answered Sirius with a slight smile.
“Moony, Wormtail, and I sensed something was going on with you,” added James about Sirius liking somebody. “We just guessed the wrong person.”
“So basically, you didn’t know,” stated Sirius plainly.
James chuckled, and so did Sirius.
“Wait a minute!” declared James suddenly, and Sirius turned to gaze at him. “Why didn’t you reply to my Christmas card?”
Sirius rolled his eyes. “Did you really expect me to respond to your two page parchment letter of apology? How could I top that?”
“Well, I am deeply hurt,” replied James playfully.
“Besides, I thought it better that I talk to you in person.”
“That is very noble of you, Padfoot.”
“So what do you say, Prongs? Marauders, again?”
Both of them had stopped walking as Sirius held his hand out toward James.
“Mischief managed,” replied James with a grin as he took Sirius’s hand and shook it.
“Glad I’ve got that off my chest. I was contemplating whether Wormtail or Moony would replace you,” added Sirius jokingly as they started to head back toward the Gryffindor common room.
“You planned to replace me?!” questioned James, pretending to be hurt.
“Well, it was the only good back-up plan I could think of.”
“Yeah, I forgot you aren’t too good coming up with plans.”
Sirius punched him in the arm. “And you are?”
“Better than you.”
The two had entered the common room and made their way up to the dormitory where they found the room still empty. Having plenty to talk about between the two of them, they were silently relieved that the two other Marauders were not around.
“Did you know that Wormtail was going out with Natasha Wellings?” asked James curiously as he lay down on his bed comfortably.
“I had no idea he had it in him,” was Sirius’s answer as he flopped down on James’s bed. “My little Wormtail is becoming so grown up!” Sirius brushed an imaginary tear out of his eye.
“She’s the perfect size for him, that’s for sure,” said James cynically, and Sirius let out a dog like bark of laughter.
James rolled his eyes with a smirk and peered up at the ceiling before inquiring, “So, tell me Padfoot, how did you meet Audrey?”
Ever since he had found out that Sirius had indeed liked Audrey, James was craving to know the answer to this very question.
He saw Sirius shift uneasily and slightly awkwardly before explaining, “I met her…”
“You bastard of a son!” screamed Mrs. Black as though it were a battle cry of tyranny. “You bring horrid shame to this ancient family!” She threw him onto the marble floor of the entrance as she shut the door with a slam behind her.
Sirius glared up at his mother whose face was contorted in anger. Another teen with eyes identical to Sirius’s ran to the edge of the stair rail to overhear the argument ensuing below.
“I cannot believe you! You traitorous, mud-blood loving fool!” yelled his mother sternly as she drew her wand and pointed it at him dangerously. “Take it back, you arrogant child!”
“I will not take it back!” retorted Sirius angrily, his fists clenched in white anger. “I meant what I said! We’re not any different than any other family! You don’t deserve to say discriminatory comments to anyone! You are just a fool!”
“How dare you! You are ruining our- “
“I am not the one ruining this family, I am the one trying to save it!” hollered Sirius as he felt his face turn a deeper shade of red as his words echoed vibrantly off the hollow walls of the Ancient House of Black.
“’Saving it’?! ‘SAVING IT’?! IF YOU FEEL THAT HUMILIATING ME BY STANDING UP AGAINST ME FOR SOME MUD-BLOOD FAMILY IN DAYLIGHT PUBLIC IS SAVING OUR FAMILY, YOU ARE WRONGLY AND SADLY MISTAKEN!”
The furious, black haired woman shouted a spell that shot out of her wand and hit her son, sending him sliding across the floor brutally bleeding across his face.
“TAKE IT BACK!” she demanded once again, and the teen that looked on from above shivered from his mother’s words of anger.
Take it back. Take it back! prayed Regulus Black frantically.
Unfortunately, Sirius refused to step down to his mother’s demands. He would be strong and retaliate for what was right.
“I WILL NOT!” declared Sirius, and he felt himself fly across the room to bang against a hard, stone wall.
“REGULUS, THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!” commanded Mrs. Black as she caught site of Regulus at the top of the stairs.
She had turned back to face Sirius, but to her dismay, he had disappeared, and she found the door to the ancient house wide open to reveal the pouring rain outside.
Sirius had stumbled through streets and neighborhoods as the giant gash across his face continued to bleed. His clothes were soaked through and through, and his hair stuck to his face and neck due to the rain. His vision was blurring slowly as a result of exhaustion, and he was relieved to stumble into the nearest available shelter that would accept him.
Audrey Filendale had accepted a summer job at a tiny, cozy cafe near her home. She had been looking for one since the beginning of the summer and was glad to receive one so conveniently placed.
One day, the weather had been acting up abnormally bringing bucketfuls of rain and slow business, thus leaving Audrey to tend to no customers. She tucked her hair behind her ear as she flipped a pencil in her left hand. Peering down at the crossword from the Daily Prophet that she had snatched on her way out of her house that morning, she racked her brain for the answer.
A colour that represents a… read Audrey in her head as she re-adjusted her red, short sleeved polo shirt.
Suddenly the glass door to the café flung open to admit a bleeding, weary, soaked Sirius.
Audrey gasped as her eyes landed on his condition.
Tiredly, Sirius made his way to a seat and sat himself down.
After a moment of shock, Audrey reluctantly made her way toward Sirius.
“Are you alright, sir?” she asked shyly as she fidgeted with her white apron.
Sirius glanced up at her and nodded.
“Are you positive? Because you sure don’t look alright,” mentioned Audrey.
She had no idea where those words had come from.
He scowled up at her.
“It was just a question,” she defended as she stepped back from his expression.
“I’m fine,” mustered Sirius impatiently as he looked away from her.
“Well, at least let me get that cut,” persisted Audrey, even though she didn’t know why she was acting so out of character.
“I’m fine,” repeated Sirius with a tint of annoyance to his tone this time.
“You either let me get that cut, or I’ll kick you out for loitering,” stated Audrey matter-of-factly as she pointed to the “No Loitering” sign placed at the front of the door.
Audrey covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t- “
“It’s fine. You can tend to the cut then if you insist upon it.”
Audrey rushed to the back of the room to grab the first aid kit and returned to see Sirius still sitting at the little, round table placed in the corner. She exhaled bravely and placed the kit on the table.
“This might sting a bit,” informed Audrey as she unscrewed a bottle of peroxide.
After tending to his cut, Audrey had brought out a cup of coffee, a spare blanket kept in the stock room for emergencies, and a plate of cookies.
“Thanks,” responded Sirius as Audrey sat across from him.
“Everything alright?” inquired Audrey as he took a sip of the coffee she had put in front of him.
“It’s fine.”
“When someone comes into a room in your state, I hardly doubt they are ‘fine’.”
Audrey hid her astonishment at her words. She never said anything like this to anyone, but maybe the fact that the teen in front of her was in such a distressed state, that she subconsciously needed to be supportive and confident for the two of them.
“It’s nothing,” Sirius informed her frankly.
“’Nothing’ is a very complicated word- “ continued Audrey purposely in order for him to let out what was on his mind.
“It’s my family, alright?” blurted Sirius, and Audrey’s insides burst with relief at progress.
“Your family,” repeated Audrey as the drops of rain continued to patter against the glass window.
“And the words of frustration I kept in seemed to flow out of me, and she listened so intently. At the end, I told her I’d pay for the cookies and coffee, but she insisted that it was on her. After that day, every time I felt frustrated about anything, I’d go to her at the café, and we’d talk. It was just so…” Sirius trailed off as he glanced at James.
“Comforting?” answered James as he smiled at Sirius.
“Yeah, how did you- “
“Audrey has that aura about her.”
“Well, it’s what I love about her. So, yeah, that’s my story. Satisfied, Prongs?” asked Sirius with a slightly embarrassed grin.
“Not quite yet. One more question.”
“What?”
“Have you snogged her yet?” inquired James jokingly and Sirius pushed him playfully off the bed.
“C’mon, even I have!” replied James teasingly as he lifted himself off the floor.
“I think you should be more concerned about snogging Evans!” retorted Sirius with a smirk.
“Well,” began James, “I shouldn’t be too concerned about that, because I think Lily and I are finished.”
Sirius stared at James with bewilderment.
“She’s with Brendan what’s-his-face now, and I think he would be really good for her,” explained James as he caught site of Sirius’s shocked expression.
“What are you saying, Prongs?”
James faced Sirius with a sad smile as he admitted, “I’m saying that Brendan is what she wants and needs, not me.”