Ch7
“She hasn’t woken yet Poppy?”
“No Albus, she slept all night. I didn’t even need to give her a sleeping potion! What do I tell the boy? Should we let him see her?”
“We should let James in; he is extremely worried for her. He spoke with me after the incident last night. Poor lad was forced to watch the whole thing.”
These voices swan through Lily’s head like a fog as she slowly made her way towards consciousness. Groggily, she opened her eyes, finding herself lying in the hospital wing. Her whole body ached as though she had been trampled by a herd of rampaging hippogriffs, and her skin was hypersensitive. Slowly, weakly, she sat up, tears springing to her eyes as her bed covers grazed her skin.
“Ah, Ms. Evans. You are finally awake!” said Dumbledore, peering into her face. “How do you feel?”
Lily tried to smile. “I don’t think a proper synopsis of how I feel would be appropriate to say, Professor.”
Dumbledore smiled. “Of course,” he turned to Madame Pomphrey. “Poppy, if you would be so kind as to show in Mr. Potter, then leave us for a moment.”
Madame Pomphrey nodded, then set off towards the hospital wing door.
“LILY!” James cried as he ran towards her side. Lily was relieved to see him unharmed, though he looked extremely pale. He reached out to grab her hand, but Dumbledore, moving swiftly, blocked him.
“I’m afraid you cannot touch her at the moment, James,” he said gently.
“Why not?”
“My skin is extra sensitive from last night,” Lily said, tucking her covers around her for extra warmth.
“I am glad to see that the curse has not addled your brains Lily. I shall expect Madame Pomphrey to release you when you see fit. But first, a few things need to be explained to you, and you undoubtedly have questions.”
“Please Sir, tell me what happened after I blacked out.”
So, he did. Lily listened, drawing her knees up to her chin and wrapping her arms about her legs. She shut her eyes, trying to drown out the memory... and the pain.
...perform the Cruciatus Curse on the boy... this should wipe the smirk off your face...
Dumbledore explained all about receiving the warning she had sent him before she was disarmed, and arriving at the lake to find Voldemort taunting James, for she had already blacked out. He confronted Voldemort, who had fled back into the lake.
“I must contact the Headmaster of Drumstrang to see if a suspicious man was near their lake yesterday afternoon. Things are not as they appear,” he finished, leaning back in his chair.
“But Sir, why did he come after us?”
Dumbledore sighed. “Mr. Potter and I have discussed that, and it seems as though he was challenged.”
“Challenged, Sir?”
“Yes Lily. It’s all my fault,” James said, hanging his head. “Remember what I said on the train, to Snape, about shoving the Dark Arts up his Dark Lord’s “ “
“Yes James, I remember.”
“Well, as soon as I said that, I heard a voice “ Voldemort’s voice “ in my head. It said ‘So you think you can defy me?’ I heard it again out by the lake, right before he appeared. He was talking about how we were rowed up to die. When I told you to run, he said that you wouldn’t be going anywhere, because now that he had finally arrived to take up the challenge he wouldn’t want it spoiled.”
“You’ve been hearing voices and you didn’t tell me?” she snapped at James.
He looked uncomfortable.
“Never mind. So... he attacked us, two harmless 17-year-olds, because he thinks you challenged him?”
“Oh, do not consider yourself harmless, Lily,” said Dumbledore gravely. “You have shown yourself to be strong. Voldemort is extremely powerful, yet you withstood his Imperius Curse. You had the courage to stand up to him, both of you did. James comes from a family revered for hating Dark Arts. You come from a muggle family, yet you are powerful. He can see you both as threats.”
“So, that is why he attacked us?”
“I believe so.”
“Do you think he’ll try again?” asked Lily, trying to suppress the fear now squeezing her heart.
Dumbledore looked at her gently. “Are you still afraid he is going to kill you, Ms. Evans?”
Lily threw a look at James. “I had to tell him Lily. You know that.”
Lily looked down at her sheets. “Yes,” she mumbled.
“I would not be as afraid as you are. True Voldemort is powerful, but you stood up to him. You withstood him, even with experiencing two Unforgivable Curses. That’s something that not many witches or wizards have done and it is not something to take lightly. As for your protection... you had plans to stay here over the break, correct?”
Lily nodded. “My parents won two tickets for a cruise, and my sister is staying at her school. I planned on using the time to study.”
“Perfect. You shall be well protected here.”
“Sir,” interjected James. “I was wondering... well, my dad works for the Ministry, and Sirius and I were going to my home for the break like usual and... d’you think that it would be alright for Lily to come as well? She’d be well protected what with my dad, Sirius, and I. We’ll be better off together Sir, safer, as we can watch each other’s backs. Plus, both my parents have taken N.E.W.T.s, if she wanted to ask them about it.”
Lily smiled, feeling a blush start on her cheeks Plus, you don’t want me out of your sight.. “I would really like that. I was going to suffer weeks of loneliness here.”
Dumbledore paused. “I guess she would be safe there. I will have to owl your parents James.”
“Yes Headmaster.”
“Do you have any other questions, Lily?”
Lily bit her lip, thinking... “I guess that’s everything.”
Dumbledore stood. “You will be excused from classes for the day, Lily. No one else in the school knows what happened, naturally, or there would be a panic. Just tell Madame Pomphrey when you are ready to leave, and then I would assume you have to go pack for the holidays.”
Lily and James wished him goodbye, and then James turned to Lily. He had hollowness in his eyes, and something she didn’t want to see there: guilt.
“Lily... I...”
“It’s not your fault James.”
“I could have cursed him, or something.”
“Please, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But “ “
“James, if you keep this up I’m going to curse you!”
He smiled, and then glanced at his watch.
“I have class now Lily.”
“I’ll see you back at the dorm later then.”
He looked uncomfortable, fiddling with his bag.
I wish I knew what was going on inside his head.
Lily sank back into her covers, lying out. She rolled over onto one side and propped her head up with a hand, wincing as she did so.
He looked worried, and to cheer him up she said, “Listen, from one little snot, oops I mean Head, to another, get to class!”
He couldn’t help but smile at these words. “Look at this!” he muttered faintly. “You’re the one that just got tortured, I’m supposed to be cheering you up!”
He leaned over and brushed a wisp of her hair out of her eyes. “That doesn’t hurt you, does it?”
“No, the pain is letting up some.”
“Good.”
He looked like he was going to say more, but just then the bell rang.
“Damn! I’m late!” he cried. “Lily, I’ll see you later,” and promptly ran from the room.
Lily recalled his words, as she lay there... ”You’re the one that just got tortured...”
She shuddered at the thought. But she didn’t cry. She had long since run out of tears. Instead, she felt a sort of callus over her heart. She had been tortured. But she had lived, and she would overcome the fear.
She stayed in the Hospital Wing resting for most the day. She refused visitors claiming she needed her sleep, but what she really needed was time to think. She had a lot on her mind. Finally, after taking her dinner in bed, she checked herself out and went back to her dorm, thankfully encountering no one in the halls as everyone was at dinner.
When she arrived, she noticed there was a cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table, kept warm by a heating charm, as well as a note. Smiling, she picked up the note and read it to herself.
~Lily~
I thought that some hot chocolate might help cheer you up. Don’t you worry, I added vanilla to it.
Dumbledore owled my parents about everything that happened, and has gotten a response. They would be privileged for you to stay for the holidays. Mum is arranging the guest room for you as I write this. Sirius will be there as well, but I consider that a good thing because you’ll definitely get some laughs while you’re there. We’ll leave tomorrow morning as soon as you’re ready.
I know what happened to you last night was terrible, and I can’t help but blame myself. I drug you into this, by ‘challenging’ him in your presence. It might be hard to talk about, but we really should. I saw some things last night that I... well... I can’t write them here.
I guess I’ll see you tonight after dinner.
With undying affection,
James
Lily folded up the letter and tucked it into her pocket. The gesture really was quite sweet, but she couldn’t talk to him yet. She picked up the warm mug of hot chocolate and sipped on it as she gathered her things from throughout the dorm. Once everything was in her room, she slipped into the shower, letting her sore muscles relax under the hot water and warm steam. Once out of the shower, she dressed in her nightdress, locked her door, and began packing.
She heard James come in at about 9, but pretended to be asleep. She couldn’t have him confront her to talk yet. She wasn’t ready.
She lay in bed for hours in the steadily darkening room, unable to sleep. Finally, and with a sigh, she crossed her pitch-dark room and stared out of her window. The twilight was clear, and she could see clear across the sparkling lake.
The lake.
“...I am going to hurt her. And you’re going to watch.”
This memory pierced that callus in her heart. Lily gasped aloud, feeling completely vulnerable. Would she never cease to feel this way? She collapsed back onto her bed, squeezing her pillow, as the silent tears started flowing anew. She couldn’t get the blazing look of Voldemort's eyes out of her head, and it scared her.
He wouldn’t let either of them go. They were a challenge to him, something he desperately wanted to overcome. He wouldn’t let two 17-year-old students, barely of age, get the best of him, she knew. He would come back.
Lily wiped at her tears, but as quickly as she removed them, they were replaced. On impulse, she knew where she had to go to be safe.
Lily opened her door and walked through the bathroom. She paused before James’ door. It was late; he was probably already asleep. Lily opened his door a crack and peeped in. The waning crescent moon sent slivers of light over his silently sleeping form. She saw his chest rise and fall with each steady breath; she heard his deep rhythmic breathing. Lily smiled. His hair was a mess, as usual, his face serene as he slept. The gashes from Mooney were all but gone. Lily noticed that both his wand and his glasses had been set on the bedside table. The door creaked as she opened it fully.
James sat up in bed, covers sliding off his bare chest as he reached for his glasses. “Lily?” he asked. “What’s wrong?” He started to light a candle, but Lily gestured at him not to.
She trembled, trying to hold back her tears. She needed to be held.
James somehow sensed this in her. “Come here, Lily,” he said gently, setting his glasses back on the table and reaching out for her. Lily hesitated, heart beating rapidly and feeling nervous, but then moved forward, unable to stem her tears anymore. She slipped quickly under the covers and James wrapped his arms around her, his stomach pressing into her back. She could feel his hot breath against her neck, his heartbeat against her shoulder.
“I’m so sorry Lily,” he breathed, voice low. “I wasn’t there for you. He made... he made me watch... as he attempted to destroy the one thing that I... that I...”
Lily felt a drop of moisture on her neck, followed by another. He was crying for her. Lily then remembered the pain, and the fear.
Her sobs wracked her body, but there was no keeping them in anymore. All the pain she had felt... the insecurity... she needed it out. James squeezed her, whispering into her ear, trying to comfort her with his presence.
“Shhhh Lily,” he whispered as she cried. “Shhh... I’ll take care of you. I’m not going to let anything hurt you again, I swear.”
James rocked her until the pain was dimmed, until the wracking sobs left her. One of his hands shifted up to brush the hair from her face and tenderly wipe the tears from her cheeks in a soothing manner, the other rested over her diaphragm, the warm weight of it comforting in itself.
Lily felt immensely better, exhausted from crying, but still better. But the best feeling was security. Her nervousness faded and her comfort grew, as she felt more and more protected. Nothing could reach her here. Snuggling closer up to James to feel his warmth, she finally drifted off to sleep, his arms still around her.
He’s right. We are better off together.
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Hope that end wasn't too fluffy for you, but I thought it was sweet. Bit of a turning point, there.
As I said before, this week is going to be extremely busy for me, but I'll get up the next chapter as soon as possible.
If you have any ideas for me, or concerns, just let me know!