Hermione smiled at the old memories, twisting the ruby sphere between her fingers. A warm feeling surrounded her as if she were actually living the memories over again. She leaned forward again in her chair and stared at the potion in front of her, not quite remembering what she’d been doing before she had strolled down memory lane. She picked up the potion, looking at it warily, and set it back down, she didn’t feel like working. She had a whole week to grade these. She looked at the picture on her desk; it was an old picture of the trio. She was leaning on Harry’s shoulder; Ron’s hand was around Harry on the back of her head. She laughed and sighed, smiling the picture, they were the best of friends. Even Ron kept in touch when Harry disappeared. Ron told her he wouldn’t be gone forever, she didn’t believe him, but always hoped. How little had she known? Ron had been right all along.
It was a year and four months ago, two days before school was to start. She had just left Severus, who had gone to consult the headmaster about the Defense Against the Dark Arts position. Hermione had been carrying a stack of lesson plans and was walking aimlessly back to her classroom on the main floor, when she saw him, Harry Potter. He was alive, and at Hogwarts. She could have sworn they stared at each other for hours, but he was led away by another teacher into the Great Hall. She was in complete disbelief as she spoke with Ron through a cracked mirror.
“He still hasn't come to see me,” she murmured.
“Hermione, he will, trust me, you mean the world to him," rejoined Ron istantly.
She immersed herself in tiresome work the rest of the day, trying to fix her mind on something other than what she had seen earlier that day. She knew she couldn’t sleep without dreaming, that she had to get a Dreamless Draught from Snape’s collection. She tightened her cloak around her, knowing it would be cold in the dungeons, and ventured out. As she was halfway down the stairs a voice called her name.
“Hermione.”
She turned around suddenly, almost collapsing on the floor; she touched the wall with her hand to support her.
“Harry Potter,” she whispered, not trusting herself to speak.
“Look at you,” he said, coming down the stairs to meet her, “you look incredible.” He ran his hand through his hair walking down to meet her, and he stared at her a moment before embracing her. “You’re even a Potions mistress now, that’s brilliant Hermione. I’m going to be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts, here, with you. We have so much to catch up on, come to dinner with me.”
“Harry, I can’t,” she replied. She knew she could, she knew she wanted to but something was holding her back. “I have to finish working and I need some potions.”
“Nonsense, you always worked too hard, come with me,” he said, “I’ll let you change, and meet you back at your office in twenty minutes.”
He clambered back up the stairs, “No, Harry, I can't..."cried Hermione but Harry was already out of sight. Her eyes stared at the empty space at the top of the stairs for a long moment before she took the second flight of stairs down to the dungeon, before she reached the bottom, she saw Severus Snape staring up at her.
“Foolish boy, how dare he strut back here like some god and take my position without a thought, I suppose he thinks he can have anything he wants now that he conquered the Dark Lord,” he said quietly as Hermione approached him.
She smiled sadly at him, knowing that once again, he had been thwarted for the teaching position he wanted most. Thwarted by a student he despised more than anyone, holding an everlasting grudge against Harry’s father. Hermione couldn’t help but feel sorry for him; she followed him down the stairs for her potion. He wordlessly sifted through his storage to find her a potion. Handing it to her, he sat down on the chair in front of the coffee table in his small room. He stared at her with looks of pain, curiosity, and obsession.
She almost felt like he was reading her mind, and she didn’t care. She curled up on the tattered couch directly across from the chair he sat in. She was confused, and very cheerless. What she had wanted more than anything was to be with Harry, that was the only thing keeping her arms length with Severus. Yet, he didn’t love her like Severus did. If only Harry loved her or hated her. Or if she wasn’t so foolish she could love Severus in return. There was no book to solve problems about love. All love left was unanswered questions, and a breaking heart. She drank the Dreamless Draught and unexplainably fell instantly asleep on the torn up couch in his office.
***
Severus Snape watched her sleep, the steady rise and fall of her chest. She had curled up in a ball, one of her hands was under her head; the other was across her abdomen. Her hair was down, falling loosely across her face and shoulders. She looked so peaceful, even vulnerable, not plagued by the decisions that had recently presented themselves to her. She was confused at least; she didn’t know what she wanted. This thought comforted Severus a little, she couldn’t choose right away. He had made an impact on her. She had turned down that filthy Harry Potter, coming down to see him. Granted, it was just for a potion, but it was his potion, she could have easily made one for herself. He wondered if she would suspect that he had mixed Sleeping Draught with the Dreamless Draught. She probably would suspect something; she did pick up on things like that. He couldn’t have her changing her mind about dinner with Harry. He could watch her this way undisturbed and he could guard her. This was something Harry could not do. For four years, it was Severus Snape who watched her, not Harry Potter. It was he who protected her while Harry Potter left her unguarded. Harry thought he could waltz back here and take her as his own, a war hero perhaps, but not God. He would not have her as a trophy. For once, Severus has the satisfaction of knowing he was one up on the famous Harry Potter, and he wasn’t about to let things change now.
***
Hermione awoke, her eyes fluttering open, and she looked around, recalling where she was. She had fallen asleep in the potions master’s office. She couldn’t remember why she was here. She shook her head, running her hand over her hair. She remembered coming to get a potion, a Dreamless Draught, because of Harry. Harry is back. She didn’t go to dinner with him; she came down here, and fell asleep on the couch. She got up slowly; she had never taken such a strong Dreamless Draught. Where was Severus? She wandered into his classroom to find him brewing away at something that smelled distinctly like lust. He didn’t seem notice her arrival until she was practically at his arm. He smiled gently at her, studying her like always before he spoke. These long silences were no longer uncomfortable and completely natural even to Hermione. The way he looked at her was like he was drinking her in. She knew he was going to make her go.
“Mr. Potter will be worried about you, we mustn’t keep him waiting,” he spoke a little dryly.
Hermione nodded, touching his arm lightly before she left. She didn’t want to leave, but she couldn’t stay. It was almost funny how she had waited so long for Harry’s return and now she didn’t know what to do now that he had finally come back.