“Harry,” Hermione called, wanting to cry over her stupid mistake.
“It’s too late, Potter,” said Snape wickedly. With a flick of his wand, Harry was thrown against the wall, his head hitting the hard dungeon stone squarely. He slumped against the wall, obviously knocked out.
“Harry!” she screamed, but her screams fell on deaf ears. Snape dragged her away from him; she stopped struggling several minutes after she realized she couldn’t escape, for he was a lot stronger than he looked. All the wallowing in the dungeons had not made him weak. He took her inside his office slamming the door on Harry out in the main classroom.
“Don’t worry, we’ll get to see him again,” remarked Severus coldly. He locked the door and let go of her gently. She collapsed on the couch, and even though she wanted to she didn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry. She couldn’t believe she had been so stupid, and knowing she had been tricked and made a fool of made her angry.
Hermione looked at him unable to form a conclusion of her own, she was embarassed by her own innocence, she had trusted him. "How could you? How dare you! You disgust me.”
He looked at her longingly but didn’t move, still several steps away from her. Suddenly the sentiment in his eyes turned cold and his voice changed to anger, “No one could appreciate my sacrifice, my guilt, my ways, except for you. Now even you, the only one who dared to even love me, turn your back! Your eyes look at me with pity, your heart is full of guilt even as we speak. Your pity, your guilt, is too late! I am your fate! There is no going back!!” His eyes burned with a sick sort of passion, and obsession.
“You don’t scare me,” she started angrily, her voice suddenly becoming quiet, “you never did. And I do pity you, I pity that you had to reduce yourself even lower to win my heart, that was never yours to begin with." She stood up close to him, placing her hand on his heart. He considered her a moment before looking up and smirking, as he were just merely amused. They both stood there in silence for so long, they were both so close, her hand still touching him. He didn’t move it, and neither did she.
‘I tried…” she started, but he shoved her away, and she stumbled back a little shocked at his violent reaction.
“I don’t think you ever tried,” he shouted looking away from her. “Potter had you twisted around his finger years after he was gone!”
“But I…” she tried again, his eyes shot around and he interrupted her again.
“ You knew you couldn’t love me, and I knew you couldn’t forget him, and we both knew that for three years and we did nothing but let it come to this! Come to where we are now, and whether you will admit it or not, you helped us get here,” he spoke sternly, not yelling but with the silkiness in his voice that made Hermione feel sick inside.
“How can you blame me for this, when it was you who tainted the wine, and you who threw Harry against the wall, it was you that killed those men, and it was you that…that…” she sputtered, turning away from him as tears formed in her eyes. She felt sick, and guilty. She didn’t know why she felt guilty, it wasn’t her fault, and as much as she kept saying it she felt worse as more of the facts came to the surface.
“You don’t know half the things I’ve done for you, and half the things I probably will still do. I have done so much worse than murder for you, Miss Granger. And as many times as Harry Potter has protected you, I have done it more! I have risked my life numerous times if it meant your happiness, and have almost lost my soul to keep yours. Yet none of these things you will hear me speak about because they are stories so terrible that those tears you are holding in would spill out, and I couldn’t bear to see you cry,” he finished, his voice coming to a decrescendo as he stood right behind her, unsure of what to do with his hands. The words did not sound at all romantic or brilliantly placed. They sounded harsh and cold, and it was because they came out this way that she knew she had no reason to doubt that they were true.
“I didn’t ask for this,” she choked.
“Do you think I did, Miss Granger?” he asked her even more quietly, leaning in closer.
“I couldn’t love you…” she whispered, as a large tear streaked down her cheek, several more still hiding in the corners of her eyes. This caused him freeze behind her, the truth hitting him squarely in the chest. She turned to look at him, her face twisted in a look of unexplainable pain.
“You were the only one who knew who I really was, what I really wanted, you finally understood me for someone more than a child, after all those years, after Ron for heavens sake,” she grabbed his hand and ran her fingers in between his, “You were the only one who saw I had grown up into more than just brains and stupid book smarts. You saw beauty in me that no one else had ever dreamed of, not even myself, and because you loved me, or maybe because you pretended to, that is why I know now that you will always have this hold on my heart. I still don’t know whether it is love or lust, but I have been changed.”
She snaked her arms around the back of his neck and kissed him. It was not a simple kiss, it was a kiss filled with lust and longing. Severus could taste the sultry insides of her mouth and she didn’t pull back or stop him. Her body was pressed tightly against his, and he held her strongly in his arms in a loving manner. No matter how sweet it was or how whole it made him feel, he could feel that somehow it wasn’t real. The lust, the passion wasn’t meant for him, it was as if he could read between the lines and know that this kiss wasn’t his. It didn’t feel wrong, but it felt like a lie. He didn’t know how to feel about it any longer.
As her lips slid off of his, her hands fell on his chest, and with her eyes still closed, she whispered, “I can’t stay with you.”
“Then go," he said viciously but he turned away from her as if he were suddenly embarrassed or scared.
She turned and left the office, looking back at him. Severus sat at his desk, his arms lying lifelessly in front of him , his head hidden within his arms. She closed the door quickly so as to not endure more pain then what was already shooting through her body. Harry was coming to consciousness as she walked towards him in the dungeon classroom.
“Hermione,” he whispered as she kneeled next to him. He wiped away one of the tears from her face, and this among other emotions and thoughts caused her to cry all the harder. She rested her head in his chest and just sobbed as he stroked her hair. Harry would never understand why she was crying, and she never wanted him to either. There are some things in life that are just too dark, and Harry had already had to face his demons, now it was time for her to turn away from her own.
Author's Note: Don't worry, there will be an epilogue...just when I thought I was done. Thank you all of you who have read this and enjoyed it, or didn't enjoy it...I really didn't think much of this story and the reviews it has gotten have been really a treat. Stay tuned, hopefully the epilogue won't take so long to come out