Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never.*
9. Hostility and Heartbreak
Dumbledore smiled out of the portrait towards Harry and replied, “Yes, Harry, indeed it is me. You didn’t believe I was really gone, did you? Do you not remember what I told you in your second year?”
Harry didn’t answer. He simply sat there, numb with disbelief, hardly daring to believe his eyes. As the revelation sank in, the beginnings of elation crept into his mind, and he slowly processed Dumbledore’s words.
Yes, he did remember. At the time he was confused by its meaning, but now he finally knew what Dumbledore was talking about. “You “ you said that you would only truly have left this school when none here were loyal to you,” he answered slowly, straining to remember Dumbledore’s exact words.
“Yes, Harry, and as you can see, I haven’t left just yet. And first of all, I must explain to you why Draco Malfoy is still at school,” Dumbledore said delicately.
Harry gazed at him, not sure what he wanted to hear or whether he was going to agree. But he definitely wanted to understand the reasons behind it, so he remained silent, waiting for Dumbledore to begin.
“Well, I decided that he must return here for his own protection. Draco is in great danger at the moment. By failing Voldemort he has essentially announced his own death sentence. I do not wish Draco to die for choosing the right path,” Dumbledore explained. “He chose not to kill me “ he chose not to live a dark life. His mother is not strong enough to protect him at the moment, so I insisted that he stay here. I can tell you that some people resisted quite ferociously.” He looked up at Professor McGonagall at this moment, who showed little sign of having heard.
“But “ but he almost did kill you, sir! He had been plotting against you all year! He would have killed you if…if Snape hadn’t turned up…” Harry protested, his voice filling with venom as he spoke Snape’s name, subconsciously balling up his fists.
“Draco would not have killed me. It is not in his nature to be a killer…yet. That is another reason for letting him return. Nobody here is going to completely convince him to continue along the Dark path, as I know the Death Eaters would have,” reasoned Dumbledore.
Harry remained silent, attempting to keep his face from displaying the sceptical thoughts inside his head. He didn’t care what Dumbledore said. As far as he was concerned, Malfoy would’ve killed Dumbledore “ and that made him evil in Harry’s eyes.
He nodded, so Dumbledore continued. “As for Severus…his murdering me was…necessary. I am not sure this is quite the time to be discussing it…”
“Necessary?!” Harry yelled, jumping to his feet in outrage. “Professor, how could you say that?”
“Harry…please “”
But Harry carried on, his voice growing steadily louder. “You say it was necessary for me to go through then pain of knowing you wouldn’t come back? Necessary for someone who was supposed to be on our side to kill the only one Voldemort fears?”
“Potter, for goodness sake compose yourself! If you actually sat down and listened to what Professor Dumbledore was trying to say, you’d understand,” Professor McGonagall reprimanded.
“Thank you, Minerva, but he is of course allowed to react in whichever way he chooses “ although,” Dumbledore said, turning his head towards Harry, “it would be less time-consuming if you were to sit down and listen to my explanation.”
Harry returned to his seat with a somewhat resentful look at Professor McGonagall. “I’m “ sorry,” he said shortly, not meeting either of their eyes.
“It’s alright, Harry. I guess I should have expected it anyway,” admitted Dumbledore. “But it is vital that you listen to me. Professor Snape did only what I had asked him to. I made him promise me that he would follow our plan through.”
“You “ you said WHAT?!” Harry shouted furiously. He was about to jump to his feet once more, when Professor McGonagall pushed him firmly down into his armchair.
“Harry, please “ I ask only that you hear me out. Severus has been working as a spy for us for a whole year now. He knew about Draco’s assignment, and he told me of it. I was well aware that Draco may attempt to kill me. Severus was then visited by Narcissa in the following few days. To prove his loyalty to the Dark Side, he made the Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa to protect Draco. I’m not sure if you know, but if one breaks an Unbreakable Vow, they die,” Dumbledore said simply. “Now, I knew that Draco was not a killer. I knew he would not have the evil within him to murder me. Yet I could not have Severus, our only spy, dying because of this. I therefore concluded that the only way around it was for me to be killed by Severus. He did not like it at all, and refused for quite some time. However, I eventually convinced him to do it, and so when the time came, he did as I had ordered “ he killed me.”
Harry could barely accept what he was hearing. His eyes were stinging with disbelief, his mind aching with all the revelations he had heard in such a small space of time. He tried to speak, but no sound came out of his dry mouth. Finally, Dumbledore spoke again.
“It was a very courageous thing to do. I do not wish you to think ill of him for it. He will play an essential part in your destruction of Voldemort. All the Death Eaters now admire and trust him. He is in a prime position now to help you.”
>Snape? Help him? The very thought was ludicrous. “I “ Professor“ ” Harry croaked.
“Harry, you must believe me…for both my and your sake.”
Harry said nothing more, but slowly nodded.
*
Hermione sat nervously on the edge of a desk as Harry related all that Dumbledore had told him to her. It was the next morning and, being a Saturday, they had no lessons. Ron was refusing to speak to Harry because of his outburst the previous evening, although according to Hermione, he was almost ready to forgive him.
Once Harry had finished, Hermione drew her breath in slowly while he watched anxiously for her take on the situation. Even now, Harry wasn’t entirely sure he could completely agree with Dumbledore’s confidence in Snape, and his reasons for Malfoy being in Hogwarts didn’t prevent Harry’s less than amicable feelings towards him.
“Well…that’s a…shock. But Harry, if Dumbledore’s says that’s what happened, it’s got to be true. We know we can trust Dumbledore…and well, it’s definitely possible. Probable, even,” Hermione concluded.
Harry studied her face for a moment before turning to stare out of the window at the mountains in the far distance. “It’s reminded me…all this coming up. It’s made me think again, you know, about the prophecy…” he said, attempting to keep his voice neutral.
“What do you mean by that?” Hermione asked warily.
“Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea coming back to Hogwarts after all…maybe I should go back to Godric’s Hollow, like I said last year…”
“Harry…I guess it is your decision. But I want you to know for sure that wherever you decide to go, Ron and I will definitely go with you.”
Harry smiled weakly at her, before turning back to the window. “I just feel like I’ve been building up to this all my life and I’ve got to do something. And it’s not just about the prophecy…think of everyone who’s died because of him…Dumbledore, Sirius…my parents…” Tears pricked his eyes as he uttered these last words.
“Oh Harry, I know. Well, no, I don’t, do I? No-one’s got any idea what you have been and are going through. But just know we’re here for you,” reassured Hermione. She reached over and embraced him as a tear trickled down his cheek.
Just as she did this, the door opened and Ron came in, his hands in his pockets. “Ginny said she saw you come in “” he stopped mid-sentence as his eyes travelled over the scene before him.
Hermione let go of Harry and swivelled quickly to face Ron. “Harry and I were just - ” she told him hurriedly, but she was cut off by a defiant response from Ron.
“No, no it’s fine…I get it…yeah. Completely. I’ll go.”
He strode out of the door, shutting it rather more firmly than was required, causing a few bits of dust to fall from the ceiling. Harry moved quickly towards the door with a hasty “I’ll go and find him “ it’s alright.”
Hermione watched him go, still silent and motionless, but with a tear forming in the corner of her eye. There it was again. One step forwards - two steps back.
*Charles Caleb Colton