Harry sighed as he sat across from his best friend at dinner. Ron was stuffing his face angrily, completely ignoring Lavender as she desperately tried to calm him down. After nearly ten minutes with no success, she gave up and started to chat to Parvati Patil, giving her boyfriend one final glare before turning her back on him. Ron glared back as he shoved a large piece of meatloaf in his mouth and struggled to swallow, then looked at Harry.
“Who the bloody hell is she kidding anyway?” He said it loud enough that several Gryffindor first years yelped and hastened to move further down the table. Ron looked around and lowered his voice slightly. “I mean, come on! Malfoy being different is about as likely as all those Death Eaters coming back and trying to take over the world again!”
Harry didn’t exactly know what to say. He knew that Hermione was right, but he had suffered the wrath of Ron before and didn’t want to risk anything. He finally just mumbled ‘yeah,’ and became very interested in the treacle tart that had appeared in front of him.
“You agree with me Harry, right? Like I said, who’s she kidding? Nobody ever really liked Malfoy if they weren’t in Slytherin, and now all of those people have shunned him too! Why is she, of all people, defending his sorry ass? He’s such a “” but Harry interrupted him before a very Ron-like string of colorful language filled the room.
“Give it a rest for a while, okay? You know how Hermione gets when you two get in a row about something she believes in….” Both of them shuddered slightly at the memory of S.P.E.W., and Harry half smiled at his friend’s obsessive antics.
“Yeah, but seriously Harry, why? Why is she sticking up for Malfoy?”
“I dunno…but I bet she has some good reason…she is Hermione, after all.”
“I guess…just don’t expect me to be overly nice to her yet, okay?”
Harry groaned inwardly as Ron tucked into his pudding. Oh well…he thought, remembering all of the squabbles that Ron and Hermione always had. At least I made some progress….
Hermione didn’t really know where she was going when she ran away from her outburst with Ron. Her feet just seemed to be taking her where they pleased, barely letting her catch a glimpse at where she was. Before she knew it, she had run all the way out into the cold night and right up to the lake. She plopped herself down onto the damp grass, and leaned against a rock. A sudden gust of icy wind made her hug her knees to her chest, and she realized that her warm wool cloak was lying on her bed high up in Gryffindor tower. She tilted her head back to look at the twinkling navy blue sky, and that’s when the tears that had been threatening to fall finally slid down her cheeks.
She was so confused, and could never remember a time where her thoughts felt so out of control. She had had some crazy ideas before, but they all had good reasoning behind them “ at least, what was good reasoning to Hermione. But now, no matter how hard she tried, her reasoning made no sense…and yet she still believed it. It was so unlike her and so like her at the same time; unlike her for not having good reasoning or a well thought out idea, like her for being too stubborn to give it up. There was something different about Malfoy, and even though she couldn’t put her finger on it, it was there.
In the middle of her sobs, Hermione let out an anguished “UGH!” and hit the soft ground with her fist. What is it about him? Why am I so…so…emphatic…about him being different? He’s Malfoy, he’ll always be Malfoy…and yet…and she gave another frustrated cry into the night that no one but the giant squid heard.
She didn’t know how long she stayed there crying. All she knew was that the sky was slowly becoming blacker and the stars brighter as the still, empty grounds swallowed up her sobs. She eventually grew quiet, but tears still rolled down her face as she rocked back and forth, attempting to soothe herself. She felt nearly at peace when she heard footsteps coming her way, and turned around to see just the person who troubled her.
He obviously hadn’t seen her yet because he sighed somewhat happily as he walked towards the rock that Hermione was leaning against. Hermione quickly wiped her face on her robes and stood up, glaring at Malfoy for destroying the peace that had almost reached her mind. His eyes widened when he saw her, and in the moment that he had stood there shocked, Hermione yelled “Go away!” in a voice that shook slightly. A new tear formed in her eye and she quickly wiped it away.
“Why should I?” Malfoy had reacted quickly and sneered, although his sneer didn’t look as heartfelt as it had in years past.
Hermione really didn’t want to have to explain everything she was feeling in order to answer his question, and instead sniffed and turned around, hugging herself. “Just…just go away, okay?”
“No. This is my favorite spot and I want it. You leave.” Malfoy said this pompously, but again, it didn’t sound like he meant it as much as he would’ve if it were six months earlier. Hermione turned on her heel, her eyes still puffy, and looked him in the eye. It was dark, and although she couldn’t see his face clearly, she sensed that he wasn’t smirking…again, something the old Malfoy would’ve done in a heartbeat.
“Have you ever even considered that maybe it could be someone else’s favorite spot too?”
Malfoy stroked his chin, pretending to think, looked back at Hermione, and said, as she was expecting, “Hmm…no.”
“Oh sod off, you ferret, and let somebody be at peace for a change!” Anger had suddenly coursed through Hermione’s veins, and it took Malfoy off guard.
“Let you be at peace? Ha! If anyone needs to be at peace, it’s me!”
“And why would that be?”
A deafening silence followed. Hermione had drawn herself to her full height, which wasn’t all that tall, but she still had a look about her that was menacing, daring Malfoy to answer her question. Malfoy’s jaw stiffened and his eyes narrowed. He looked down at Hermione and locked his eyes on hers.
“You don’t know what I’ve been through,” he whispered.
“And what have you been through exactly?”
“Nothing that I feel the need to tell you.”
“Mind if I guess then?” Malfoy’s left eyebrow rose slightly, then beckoned for her to continue.
“Let’s see,” Hermione stroked her chin, and then raised a finger in mock realization, “I know! You were a daddy’s boy! Always following him, wanting to please him, I know how you were “ you’d do anything to get praise from your dearly beloved father,” she spat the word and took a breath.
“Last year you were finally old enough to do the thing that Daddy wanted most. You joined the ranks of the Death Eaters, too young to be branded but old enough to do Voldemort’s bidding “ oh, shut up, it’s just a name “ and then your dear old dad displeased Voldemort and he came and killed off your parents. He tried to get you too, I know it, why would he start something that he could so easily finish off? But no, you were gone, you escaped….Because you’re a coward! A coward that always had to have big cronies to back him up! Who attacked people just because of who they were! And yet you were afraid of me when I hit you in third year! You say all these things to get a rise out of me, just for fun, but when you do get that rise you’re afraid! You’re nothing but a coward Malfoy! A coward that convinced himself he was better just because of his parentage! A coward that thinks he deserves peace just because he’s an orphan! Do you see Harry begging for peace! No! I noticed that something was different about you today, but it obviously wasn’t this! So sod off Malfoy, and leave me alone! YOU ARE NOTHING “ BUT “ A “ COWARD!”
Hermione had screamed those last few words, and took a deep breath to fill her empty lungs. All of her anger at him for the past seven years had finally come out in one big scream, and she felt lighter, as if a huge load had been taken off of her back. Malfoy, on the other hand, looked awful, but only for a moment. It took Hermione a second to realize what was coming, and she braced herself for his anger.
“How “ how DARE you insult me like that! How DARE you insult the memory of my parents like that! You don’t know anything, you awful little wench, so don’t you EVER accuse me, or my family, like that again!”
“What do you mean by ‘you don’t know anything’? Of course I know! I’ve seen you with them, Malfoy, don’t act like you were never a part of them!”
“You don’t know anything, that’s why I said it! And dammit, aren’t you supposed to be smart? I never denied being a part of them! Didn’t Dumbledore tell his precious little witch why he knew when the Dark Lord was going to attack?!”
Hermione paused at these words. What in the name of Merlin is he talking about?
“No,” she stuck out her chin defiantly, “but Dumbledore is the most brilliant wizard of the century, if not in the history of our world! He knows things that other people don’t!” Hermione felt confident in her words, but that feeling was soon wiped away when Malfoy smirked.
“Ha,” he laughed quietly, “so Dumbledore hasn’t told you. See Granger, you don’t know everything.”
“And what difference does it make if he told me or not? And what does this have to do with you being a coward?”
“Everything.” Hermione suddenly felt very confused. What hadn’t Dumbledore told her? And why is it so important? Dumbledore had kept her informed of everything going on during the war….
“What are you talking about Malfoy?” she asked, still not believing him entirely. A small pause followed, where Malfoy seemed to decide whether or not to disclose this information with one of his least favorite people.
“I told him,” he whispered, “I told him everything; his plans, his whereabouts, anything I had heard in the meetings. I don’t know why…up until that time I had been completely faithful to the Dark Lord. Something in my gut told me to do it, instinct, I guess. For a few hours it felt like everything was going to be okay,” his voice faltered slightly. He coughed in an effort to hide it, and then continued.
“But nothing turned out to be okay after all. I should’ve known that he would come after me, but I was too foolish to realize it. He broke in, and he went after my father first, but…” he took a shaky breath, “but my mother tried to save him. He killed both of them. He looked everywhere for me, but Dumbledore had already taken me here to Hogwarts where I would be safe. He thought I deserved to live after all that I had done for him. The Dark Lord destroyed my house and everything in it. The only things I have are those that I brought with me here when Dumbledore took me,” he looked at Hermione and she was shocked to see tears swimming in his eyes. This time, a long silence filled the air, and it became incredibly awkward for Hermione.
“And that, Granger, is why I deserve some peace. I have nothing anymore. I still have money, but I don’t need it. All of my close family is gone; either dead, or living without a soul. Don’t you dare accuse me of being a coward…I risked everything, and because of that, I lost everything too.”
What happened next was something Hermione never expected to see. Malfoy himself didn’t expect it either, and yet it happened all the same. With the moonlight shining on his pale blonde hair, and his eyes glittering from reliving his nightmare, Draco Malfoy dropped to his knees “ and cried.