A/N: Submitted for the Quarterly Mythological Figure challenge by Ravensgryff of Gryffindor House.
After flying for what seemed like and eternity, Severus and Draco were fortunate to spot an old building that appeared to have been permanently abandoned. There didn’t appear to be another dwelling within miles. He made a mental note to survey the surrounding area in the daylight; this place could make a satisfactory hideaway for Draco and Narcissa if they could find their way back to it.
The furniture had been covered with sheets that held layer upon layer of dust. The air was sickening; with a moldy aroma that caused Severus and Draco both to instinctively cover their faces, shielding them from the malodorous assault. The house had two levels, with a rickety stairway that lead up to a loft. There was a wood-burning stove centered near one wall, but no wood readily available. It was just as well; there was no way to tell what the state of the flue pipe would be.
Once they’d settled themselves and adjusted to the stench, Severus watched as Draco huddled into a corner of a small sofa, as if trying to touch as little of it as he could, and was curious as to what Draco thought about his story thus far. He wondered if he’d revealed too much. “Does it surprise you, Draco, that I…cared…for someone, once?”
Draco pensively stared straight ahead for a while before answering. “Not really, no. You are human after all, even though… a Mudblood? But I understand now why you hate Potter so much; everyone always says how much he looks like his father. But what I don’t get, Sir, is how this relates to the Dark Lord?”
“Patience, Draco. I’m getting to that…”
Severus’ last two years at Hogwarts were a tale of misery, but they were made slightly more bearable by his initiation into the Dark Arts, which gave him a sense of power unlike anything he ever could have imagined. After Lucius Malfoy had left Hogwarts, Severus kept in touch with him; Lucius had become somewhat of a mentor. He and several other Slytherins that Severus associated with, although he wouldn’t call any of them “friends”, had shown him the real might of Dark Magic. Severus had finally been introduced to the Dark Lord and was eager to prove his worth, thereby gaining the favor of the most commanding living Wizard known. At last, the opportunity to advance among the ranks of the Death Eaters came.
The Dark Lord had ordered Severus to spy on Dumbledore and it was determined that the best way to do so would be to obtain a teaching position at Hogwarts. Severus sought out Dumbledore in order to apply for a position. On that night, he learned from some slightly unconventional sources that Dumbledore was conducting an interview at the Hog's Head Inn. He found the room and eavesdropped on the conversation; the woman inside with Dumbledore was apparently applying for a position as a Divination instructor and was failing horribly to impress the Headmaster. Then, to his pleasure, Severus heard her voice suddenly change and a prophecy sprung forth from her mouth. Unfortunately, he was caught snooping by the barman and forced to leave the inn. Still, seeing his chance, he immediately repeated the information he’d acquired to his Master, thus earning himself a place within Voldemort’s inner circle.
However, things weren’t to turn out the way he’d hoped. Several months later, he was summoned to his Master again. It was never a certainty where he would find the Dark Lord; he moved around quite a bit. There were some places that he returned to fairly regularly, however. Sometimes he would reside in a small cottage hidden at the back of the Lestrage’s property; at other times he would spend a few days here and there in a village called Little Hangleton, apparently the home of his deceased family members; still at other times he would place someone under the Imperius Curse for a time and occupy their home. On this particular occasion, Lord Voldemort was at the Lestrange Estate.
One thing that always amazed Severus about the Dark Lord’s dwellings was the fact that no matter where he was, he always made it a point to create the illusion that the place was abandoned. Severus Apparated outside the door and glanced around him. The cottage was located in a wooded area of the grounds and was surrounded by a low stone wall. Ivy had overtaken most of the outside of the house, sometimes making it look more like a burial mound than a man-made dwelling. He knocked and the door opened of its own accord. Inside, dressed in lightweight black robes, sat Lord Voldemort.
Every time Severus viewed the Dark Lord’s face, he had to stifle a shudder of aversion. Becoming the most powerful Wizard known had taken a toll on his Master. His skin was a transparent white; blue spidery veins that created an eerie web under his skin, were easily visible. His features had ceased to human: his eyes had become bright red slits, his nose was mostly gone and replaced by small openings that expanded and contracted as he breathed, his ears had fused into the sides of his head giving the impression that he had none. When Lord Voldemort spoke, he had a raspy hissing voice that completed the snakelike countenance that had overtaken him.
“Severus, my worthy servant, the information you have provided me with has become quite valuable. I have discovered two possible children who could fit the prophecy. I believe that I know which boy needs to be destroyed.”
“Most excellent, my Lord. And who is the child?”
“Ah, I think this will please you immensely, Severus. You see, it is none other than the son of your old nemesis, James Potter.”
Severus felt a moment of, what for him would pass as, glee. Then, almost instantaneously afterward, a deep feeling of horror followed his delight. That would also be Lily’s son! As was his instinct, he kept his face neutral and tried to bury all emotion. If the Dark Lord knew of his feelings for Lily, all would be lost. He had to think fast.
“That is indeed wonderful news, my Lord.”
“Yes, I thought you’d be pleased. Since you were the one to bring me this wonderful news, I will reward you. When the time comes, you will be allowed to do the deed. It will be the sweetest revenge for all the times Potter tormented you in your youth, will it not? Is Lord Voldemort not generous?”
“My Lord, I don’t know what to say…” Severus was being truthful at this moment. Over the past several weeks he’d grown increasingly apprehensive about the activities of the Death Eaters. He’d wanted power and was not afraid to be ruthless in obtaining it, but the murder and torture were becoming extreme and pointless. He knew the names of people who had been murdered, faceless individuals who had been destroyed. He didn’t expect for these abstract events to disturb him, but they did; he was becoming increasingly disillusioned and disgusted with the life he had chosen. The Bones family, killed. The brothers, Fabian and Gideon Prewett, were particularly distressing, as it had taken five of the Death Eaters to finally silence them. They were obviously quite talented and powerful Wizards; what a waste it had been to kill them. The McKinnon family was just another name, but when you considered how the list was growing, they were still a cause for concern. As someone who’d seen his share of abuse and destruction, Severus wondered if it would ever end? Would Lord Voldemort ever have enough power? How long would it take before Mudbloods didn’t provide enough of a target and Half Bloods were next?
Severus himself had not directly taken part in the atrocities yet, but it appeared that his true test would come in the form of murdering an innocent child. The child of the only woman for whom, aside from his own mother, he’d ever felt something other than abhorrence; perhaps he could even call the feeling tenderness. He had such little experience with emotional matters and at this point, what difference did it make? He would do whatever it took to repay his debt to James, and to protect Lily and her child. He had to; it was as simple as that.
He needed to keep these thoughts buried, and to control his revulsion. He had come to learn that the Dark Lord possessed the power of Legilimency, and was a master of the skill. This was how he had learned of Severus’ hatred towards Potter and his cronies to begin with. Yet, Potter had saved his life, and he couldn’t allow any harm to come to Lily or her son, so Severus had to find some way to help them. Naturally, he would have to do that, without sacrificing his own neck, wouldn't he?
“Thank you, my Lord,” he said, almost no time passed during these turnings of his mind.
Once Voldemort dismissed him, Severus returned to his home at Spinners End to decide the best course of action. The Potters would obviously need to be warned. Severus also had to figure out how he could avoid having to attack them without incurring the wrath of Lord Voldemort? He spent several days mulling over plan after plan. He had to contact her in some way, but how without raising suspicion?
He finally decided that simplicity would be best. An owl to Dumbledore with an enchanted note that would only reveal itself to Lily might work, but how would she figure out how to read it? A riddle? Yes, Lily would be clever enough to solve a riddle. He composed the note to Dumbledore:
Professor,
This note is of the utmost urgency. Please see that it reaches the hands of Lily Potter and her hands alone.
He then constructed the riddle:
First think of the person who lives in disguise,
Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies.
Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend,
The middle of middle and end of the end?
And finally give me the sound often heard
During the search for a hard to find word.
Now string them together, and answer me this,
Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss? *
Finally, his message:
Lily,
The Dark Lord will be coming for you soon. You must take your family into hiding as soon as possible. The life of your son depends on it,
An unlikely friend
Severus had no idea if his plan would work, but it was the best he could think of.
Eventually, on Halloween night, the summons came. Lord Voldemort had found the Potters, thanks to the betrayal of one of their closest friends, Peter Pettigrew. Severus and Voldemort Apparated to the Muggle village of Godric’s Hollow. The moon was a mere sliver in the clear night sky, contributing to the darkness that was analogous to their purpose. Like many Muggle villages, the houses were annoying cookie-cutter replicas of each other. The only distinguishing features were the occasional gaudy lawn ornament or signpost declaring the residents.
Upon feeling the earth beneath his feet, Severus peered around, looking for his serpentine Master. He heard a voice hiss his name from behind, “Severus…my most faith-less servant…”
He paused for a heartbeat and turned toward the direction of the voice. “My Lord?”
“I never thought you to be so…weak, Severus. You’ve allowed your disgusting, sentimental emotions to taint your better judgment. Did you think that you could deceive me? Did you think that Lord Voldemort, the greatest Legilimens of all time, wouldn’t sense your…affection for the Mudblood woman? Ah, Severus, everyone makes mistakes. But you must learn that Lord Voldemort cannot tolerate such faltering in loyalty. You must learn that you can only serve one master.”
Severus’ heart began to speed up against his will; he groped for the words to extricate himself from this web in which he’d become entangled. He could say nothing, at least nothing that wouldn’t betray his fear. Fear was like a drug to his Master; if he sensed even a hint of it he’d find a way to extract more and more.
“One thing I am curious about, Severus. The riddle you chose…yes, Peter was quite responsible to tell me of your anonymous note and your clever riddle. The Potters evidently shared the information with him and although they knew not who had warned them, I figured it out. But, why a spider?”
If the Dark Lord was speaking so casually, Severus deduced that perhaps he might be able to walk away from this mess alive. “Master, spiders often symbolize fate, but have also been seen as weavers of illusion. I thought it fitting. If I may…”
Voldemort interrupted, “very clever. So, you thought you’d play the hero and win the hand of the maiden, but did you honestly believe that she’d turn to you, even then? No, I sense that you know better. It’s a punishment in itself, isn’t it, knowing that you gave up so much power for nothing? Well, Severus, you must pay for your transgression, but I will forgive you in time, I’m sure. In the meantime, you will suffer and learn.”
Before he knew what was happening, Severus heard, “Distorqueo Arachne!” And felt as if his body were being torn into a million pieces. The pain was incredible and he expected to see his clothing soaked in his blood, but when he glimpsed his hands and legs, they appeared to be exactly the same. It seemed like an hour had passed when the searing across the landscape of his flesh started to subside.
He heard a sinister chuckle and then Voldemort spat, “You will transform at the dark moon suffering more and more with each month from your changes until you will beg for death as the only way to end your torment. Now, you will carry out my orders and you will destroy all of the Potters! Imperio!” A foreign wand was thrust into his hand. “And you will use the wand of Lord Voldemort to do the deed. Yes, it will be my wand that brings down the Potters!” The Dark Lord cackled gleefully.
Severus almost immediately felt calmer than he had in weeks, but also felt as if he suddenly had two minds. So, this was what the Imperius curse felt like, he thought calmly. He’s going to make me kill Lily, I must fight it, was the next thought to come. However, he felt his resolve ebbing quickly and when the command came to turn toward the Potters’ house and destroy them all, he went obediently.
Severus quietly entered the house. James was on the first floor of the two-story home, tending a fire, his back to the door. The furnishings of the room were sparse and simple, yet appeared to be comfortable. A sofa, flanked by two Victorian era end tables, stood before a long glass-topped center table. At the far end of the room, there was a single chair that matched the sofa. Both pieces had windows directly behind them, which were covered with thick gold colored draperies. The room was quiet; where was Lily? Delicate thudding sounds overheard indicated that she was upstairs. James was apparently going to be easy prey.
Look at him, Severus considered, not a clue of what’s coming. Completely defenseless, with his wand so far away on the table, here is my worst enemy. Yet, do I really want to see him dead? Lily would be devastated, but maybe I can still save her. Perhaps she would forget about him one day. With the boy and James out of the way, could she then love her savior? But, I owe him my life. If I could only save her, wouldn’t that be repayment enough? Wouldn’t he be willing to sacrifice himself for her? I was. He then heard the command in his mind, “Do it, now!” And all deliberation was ended. James had turned then. Severus’ wand hand was wrenched upward, and he felt his mouth uttering the words of the killing curse, “Avada Kedavra!”
He watched as James eyes flew open in shock. He’d instinctively started to dive toward the table for his wand, but the spell caught him in the chest, mid-lunge. He seemed to hang there for a moment, glaring at Severus, suspended above the table. Then time returned and his body crashed all at once into the table, shattering the glass as well as the silence. James Potter lay, on his back, sightlessly staring straight up at his killer. In the part of his mind that remained free of Lord Voldemort, Severus felt sorry. He’d become a murderer.
He saw Voldemort move toward the stairs and at the same time Lily appeared on the landing, spotting her dead husband on the floor below.
Seeing her there, vulnerable, spurred Severus into action. He began to fight the Imperius Curse in earnest. He heard the intruder in his brain ordering him to eliminate her, now. But the part that was his own resisted fully. No, he thought, I won’t, I can’t. No, not her. No, Lily, get away! Must help her… No! Finally his body obeyed him and he rushed up the stairs. To his left a movement caught his attention and he hurried in that direction. She was there and the child, wriggling happily in his crib without a care in the world, was behind her. He shouted at her to take him and run, that he would hold off Voldemort…
The words burst forth from his lips, but simultaneously he heard one word shouted at him from behind, “Crucio!” He felt an excruciating pain wrack his body, as if it had been struck by lightning and the electric current was singeing each cell individually. He crumpled to his knees, useless, and then everything became diffuse. He could not discern what was happening around him, but still attempted to find her, to shield her. Instead, Severus found that he had moved farther away from his wards. Then the Dark Lord’s wand was wrenched from his hand and he was kicked in the gut. Winded and in such pain that he couldn’t see clearly, he vaguely heard Voldemort offering Lily the chance to be spared if she would give up the boy. There was a scream and a thud. Another killing curse, a roar, and an explosion “ it was finished. He had failed.
Too weak to Apparate, he dragged himself down the stairs, around James’ dead body toward the fire that was still burning. Grabbing a bit of Floo Powder that was beside the fireplace, he tiredly said, “Spinner's End.” And toppled into his home.
He crawled to his bed, feeling broken in body and spirit, then cried, as he hadn’t done since he was boy.
*Goblet of Fire, U.S. Hardcover edition, page 629