A weak man has doubts before a decision, a strong man has them afterwards.
Karl Kraus
I.
When Regulus had been about the age of ten and Sirius had been eleven and the two of them were both sitting in the sitting room being as quiet as they could possibly be. Their parents, Mrs. Black and Mr. Black were having a serious discussion in the kitchen and they knew that it had to be serious. Once every few minutes, Mrs. Black's voice would rise, it sounded angry to Regulus, but then her voice would become very quiet.
"What do you think they're talking about?" Regulus asked.
Sirius sighed, "I don't really want to know to tell you the truth. Probably about Voldemort or something."
"The Dark Lord?" Regulus said raising his eyebrows. "W-What do you mean? Why do you reckon that they're talking about the Dark Lord?"
"Because that's what they always discuss Regulus. They always discuss the type of missions that they have to do. That Dad has to do. I don't understand why they even joined them in the first place," Sirius said softly.
"Sirius!" Regulus exclaimed. "The Dark Lord has done so much good for this family! I'm going to join him one day."
"You're only ten. You don't know what you want. You're even afraid of the dark!" Sirius chuckled, "how on earth would you settle as a good Death Eater when you can't even be left outside in the dark by yourself for just a few minutes?"
"Then I'll stop being afraid of the dark!"
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, that'll happen Regulus when mum finally stops chopping off the house elves heads. Listen, don't you understand what will happen if you join the Dark Lord, do you? You will probably end up in Azkaban! Or worse! Listen to me Regulus, if you join the Dark Lord you will... you will end up dying serving him. Is that really what you want? Die serving a man full of nothing but bitterness?"
Regulus went quiet. No... his mother had explained to him that joining the Dark Lord will only bring riches. And who was Sirius to say this? He was just a bloody Gryffindor! Regulus would make their
parents proud. He wouldn't be a dissapointment like Sirius.
"Then I will die."
Sirius glared at him. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into... You're only ten. You do not understand a damn thing."
"I will make mum and dad proud. I will not fail. I will become a Death Eater. I will become a Slytherin. Not a Gryffindor!"
"You tell the Sorting Hat that," Sirius said standing up, "let's see what he'll say to you."
Like Regulus even cared about what a stupid hat had to say.
Sirius turned around and walked away, leaving Regulus to his own thoughts... Sirius' words went rolling through his head.
"Listen to me Regulus, if you join the Dark Lord... you will... you will end up dying serving him. Is that really what you want? Die serving a man full of nothing but bitterness?"
Regulus shook his head. No, that was not true. Regulus was sure that he would be a faithful member. He was sure of it! Nothing that Sirius said could bring him down. He wouldn't allow it.
He closed his eyes, remembering what his mother had said to him when he had asked her who the Dark Lord was.
"The Dark Lord Regulus, is someone that you should respect. Someone you should look up to. He will bring riches and greatness into your life if you follow him. Join the wrong sort like your brother and you will find yourself in exile."
He didn't want to be isolated from his family. He believed in what they had to say about how the Mudblood's should not be allowed to learn magic. That Muggle's were nothing but scums.
At least, that's what he tried to tell himself that he believed in.
II.
The choices that Regulus had to make at the age of thirteen were very difficult ones. It was a choice that would most likely, if Regulus allowed it to, control his whole life forever.
He had been offered to join Lord Voldemort by the Dark Lord himself. He had basically said everything that his parents had explained to him, that by joining him, nothing but greatness will come to his life. And you know what another "big" surprise is?
He believed him.
So, on December 7th, 1973 Regulus Black joined the Death Eaters at the age of 13. Being one of the youngest members.
He never knew, that later on he would regret this decision.
It's funny isn't it? How one choice could change your entire life. At time time, you think to yourself as your making this coice that everything will end up just the way that you wanted it. That the promises that were made to you would never be broken.
It's funny how easily promises can be broken.
Late on December 7th, Regulus found himself back at the Slytherin common room staring into the flames. He closed his eyes, as he remembered what his mother had said to him when he had taken the Dark Mark.
"Oh my precious little king... you have made your father and I very proud. I am so happy that this was your decision. That you didn't follow the same road as your idiotic brother had!"
Sirius. Suddenly his words had came into his mind that Sirius had said three years ago.
"Listen to me Regulus, if you join the Dark Lord... you will... you will end up dying serving him. Is that really what you want? Die serving a man full of nothing but bitterness?"
Well, it was too late now to turn back. He had already given his soul to the devil.
III.
As Regulus grew older, and was the age of sixteen he found that his secret was becoming more of a burden then he had thought it would end up being. He found that he had to be more secretive about being on the Dark Lord's side because his attacks were getting more and more fierce and more and more families were dying.
Regulus had to admit, he had never suspected that so many families would be killed during this war. He had never thought that he'd see girls break down and cry when they got their mail, or watch as students ran out of the Great Hall.
But he couldn't let that get to him. To him, the Dark Lord was correct about Mudbloods and muggles. That they did not deserve to be part of this world.
The Slytherin's would be glared at by the Ravenclaws, Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs. All of them thought that it was their fault that so many families were dying. And really, it was. If perhaps just one Slytherin could stand up and tell the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, about who was killing these people and how it was arrange then maybe it might actually make a difference.
One day, as Regulus was passing his brother, he paused and he looked in his brother's eyes for the first time in years.
Sirius had stopped walking as well, and there was nothing but silence in the halls.
"How are you Sirius?" Regulus asked.
Sirius snorted, "Woah, big shock there you want to know how your big brother is eh? The one that left the family because of what they... no, what you believed in? I must say that I am deeply shocked Regulus."
Regulus closed his eyes. "I-I realize that but listen to me. The only thing that the Dark Lord has done for our family is bring us nothing but happiness! He has done nothing to deserve any mistreatment except to fight for what he believes in..."
"What he believes in? Regulus! What he believes in is to demolish all the Muggles and Muggleborns. He doesn't care about the family that he is killing! He doesn't care about how many children are left homeless after killing their family.... DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND REGULUS? He is nothing but a devil. A devil who enjoys to kill. Who enjoys to watch people being tortured to death. You say he has brought nothing but happiness towards our family? Perhaps if he had never came along then we could actually BE a family." Sirius paused, and then stared deeply into Regulus's eyes. "Is he really worth this Regulus?"
Regulus went silent, he did not know, he realized. He didn't know whether or not Voldemort was really worth all of this and he knew he was a fool for doubting Voldemort now. Damn it, why was Regulus so vain?
It wasn't as though he could just go back into time and deny his offer. It was too late! If Regulus was to betray Voldemort it would be the death of him!
"I can't," he whispered. "Sirius, if I turned on the Dark Lord he would find someone to kill me! The Slytherin's would hate me! I would have to leave Hogwarts. Mum and dad would hate me for the rest of my life."
"Isn't it worth it though?" Sirius asked, "isn't it worth it to give all of that up to do the right thing? Regulus, do you remember what I said?" When there was silence, Sirius continued. "Well, do you?"
"Listen to me Regulus, if you join the Dark Lord... you will... you will end up dying serving him. Is that really what you want? Die serving a man full of nothing but bitterness?"
"He's not worth losing your life Regulus," Sirius said. "He's not."
Regulus put a hand through his hair. "Well, it's too late now isn't it? I've already made my decision. I can't switch sides now!"
"You can, if you could only just talk to Dumbledore..."
"No!" Regulus cried, "I can't --- I won't!"
"Fine!" Sirius shouted. "This is your decision then? To die? To serve the devil? Some life you're going to live."
And then, Sirius left him standing there in the empty corridor. Regulus stayed there until he could no longer see Sirius and then left to go to the Slytherin's common room.
"Isn't it worth it?"
Maybe it was, but really. Regulus would never truly know.
IV.
Four years later, Regulus found himself walking through London, for once not really caring about how many muggles were walking down the street. For once, he was not thinking about getting to work or worrying about whether he was going to be caught by the Ministry of Magic and sentanced life in Azkaban for being a Death Eater.
Because, for once, Regulus was considering leaving the Death Eaters.
It was shocking really, how many deaths it took for Regulus to finally realize that Voldemort was truly not worth it.
That Sirius had been right.
Regulus had no idea where Sirius was right now, or whether or not he would be proud of him but he what he did know that maybe, for once, that this decision was truly the right decision.
For the first time in days, he smiled. A true genuine smile. Because, he knew that within hours his Dark Mark would burn, and he knew that he would not go to the calling for the meeting.
He knew what the consequences could be for denying a request sent by Lord Voldemort. Regulus also knew, that whatever the consequence may be, Regulus would be ready for it.
He suddenly approached a steet, a street that was pitch dark and had no lights. There was no other place to go other then turning back but really, did Regulus want to turn back around? No, he finally realized. He would keep going towards his house. He would go on with his plan.
As he kept walking, he looked down and Regulus saw his reflection in the glassy surface of the puddle lapping at the toe of his boots, within its glazed mirror the buildings slanted away above him against a darknening sky. A smile pulled the corner of his mouth into a crease, and despite the sickly shade of his skin, a flicker of amusement coursed through his eyes. "Look at me now. I'm not afraid of the dark any more, brother."
Epilogue
Two days later, Regulus Black was found murdered. There was no sign of strugglement, there was no sign of beating. The only sign there was was his dead body on the floor with no expression on his face what so ever.
His parents, were distraught and shocked. They had no idea why anyone would murder their son. But they were never told by Lord Voldemort that he had sent Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange to murder him after he refused to meet him.
Regulus Black had made a decision on December 7th. That decision did change his life. It cost his life
and perhaps if he had only just listened to Sirius' words, then he wouldn't be dead right now.
A thing or two to know about decisions, is that one big decision could possibly change your life forever. And once you make this decision...
There is no going back.
And that's the end. I hope you enjoyed this fic because there's not a lot of Regulus Black stories out there and I wanted to do something unique. Please read and review when you get the chance!
Thanks!