What Would the Marauder’s Map Say..?
Dudley is Confronted by the Map
The Marauder’s Map lies on Harry’s bed at the Dursleys, where Harry had been rifraffing around to satisfy his curiousity about the goings on at Hogwarts. Harry has gone to take a stroll, leaving the map unguarded.
A certain pig-like boy has been gloating at Harry and the parchment for hours, so he tip-toes (rather loudly) up to the bed, trying to slink a look without people noticing the floor pounding. He keeps a hand on his bottom, to be secure that the usual noises it makes would be hidden.
Slowly reaching towards the strange object, he sees to his surprise that it is no more than a blank piece of parchment. Why would anyone stare hours at a blank piece of parchment? He pokes it, and then impatiently starts shaking it. As if by magic, letters are formed upon the sheet. Dudley backs away, flabbergasted. Was this one of those stupid Invisible Ink papers? Dudley viligantly creeps up to see what has been etched on the parchment now. He reads it, quivering slightly.
Mr. Moony finds pork extremely delicious, compliments to Mr. Prong’s Sunday lunches, but he wouldn’t go near raw meat. Mr. Moony also suggests that Dudder try Fatkins. It truly works!
Dudley whines, very frightened indeed. Fatkins? Moony? Dudder?!?
Mr. Padfoot wonders how Dudley, who is able to digest so much garbage, doesn’t spend all day propped on a toilet. He also thinks maybe this is why his face is always so pink, controlling the haul all day.
Dudley’s fright has emerged into anger mingled with curiosity. Was this some wicked fashion of e-mail? How come Dudley doesn’t get to have this sort of e-mail?? He reads on, grumbling to himself.
Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Padfoot, but thinks that his face is pink because of his great oaf of a dad. As for all that waste from him eating; that explains what’s in that bottom of his. Mr. Prongs also suggests that Dudley keep away from his son; Mr. Prongs doesn’t want his son to smell that hovel, it will make him insane, to compliment the nasty rumors. Curse that wheezer Fudge!
Dudley stares blankly, the dumb blonde in him standing out. A sudden light sparks in him, realizing what it meant.
“I am not an oaf! Your son probably is, you friggin’ fairy!” Dudley hisses, leaning his face towards the Map.
Mr. Wormtail orders Dudley to get that reaking breath away from the Map. It’s killing Mr. Wormtail”it’s damn deadly.
Before his brain can process, he screeches and can’t hold it any longer. He lets out a deafening fart and Harry, just approaching, knows it is him. Dudley barely makes it to his mum.
Harry is supposed to be grounded for three weeks for trying to sabotage Dudley, but luckily, Mad Eye Moody scares Vernon into agreeing to not ground Harry. That night, however, Vernon and Petunia become very curious as to why Dudley was screaming in the first place.
A/N: This was odd, but, alas, what does it matter?. Please, please take a minute to review. Thanks.