Isolated Sanctuaries
Death has a funny way of isolating people. Of course, it also has its ways of bringing people closer together...
Chapter One: Seeing Him in a New Light
The roof was her personal sanctuary. She went up there when she was feeling scared, angry or even happy. It wasn't particularly comfortable, but she didn't really feel like joining the masses downstairs in her living room. The night sky was cloudy and the moon was hidden. If someone were to look up, they wouldn't see much. Of course, they'd see her, but that was only because her hair was bright red.
Since she had left her bedroom window open, she could hear voices in her room below her.
'I don't think she's in here.' Lily could place that voice. It was Sastia, short for Anastatsia, and one of her best friends.
'She has to be, we've looked everywhere else.' That was Cora-Lee, her second best friend. The room was quiet for a moment before Sastia spoke up again.
'We never looked outside. She could be at that Muggle park that she likes so much.' Lily waited until she heard their voices and their footsteps fade away before she swung herself into her bedroom. She tiptoed to her door and stood for a moment listening to the murmuring, before closing her door softly. She crossed the floor to her bed, where she settled herself on her stomach, burying her face into her pillow. She had been lying there for a few minutes when she heard a voice she had not expected to hear.
'I don't think smothering yourself in a pillow is going to help much.' Lily grimaced. James Potter was the last person she wanted to see that night.
'What are you doing here and what do you want?' She looked up to find James leaning against the door jamb, his black tie loose, his top shirt buttons undone and his shirt untucked. At first glance, it was rather appealing, but then she felt disgusted for thinking that way about Potter .
'Well, I'm here because Dumbledore asked me to come and I wanted to tell you that some of the "guests" are leaving and your friends are looking for you.'
'I'll let Petunia deal with the guests. When you go back downstairs, could you tell my friends that I went to sleep?'
'Are you sure? I mean, I don't mean to intrude, but are you sure you don't want to talk?' His eyes never left her face, and he could see her bright green eyes welling up with tears. He couldn't stand to see her cry. It had taken all of his efforts during the funeral not to go and put his arms around her. He had been surprised to see that when they reached the house, her eyes remained dry. He walked into the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He tentatively sat on the edge of her bed and took her hand. The tears had started coursing down her cheeks, and she started shaking. He sat further on the bed, against the headboard and pulled Lily into his arms. Covering her and his legs with a blanket, he let his hands rest on her and was slowly rubbing her back. After a while, the shaking stopped, and James could feel the dampness of his t-shirt. He started to move off the bed, when Lily spoke up.
'Could you stay with me, just for tonight?' He looked down at her, and saw the pain in her eyes. He nodded slightly and moved back into place. This time, however, Lily pulled him down so that he was lying beside her and then pulled the blankets up to cover them up. As he settled down, he pulled Lily closer and closed his eyes. When he heard Lily's breathing even out, he allowed himself to be pulled into the deep lure of sleep...
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The next morning, James found himself waking up with his arms still around Lily. The sun was streaming through the open window, sending rays of light onto Lily's face. He felt her shift in his arms and he tightened them unconsciously. He closed his eyes again and felt Lily's warm breath on his neck. He was about to fall back to sleep, when he felt Lily stir again. He opened his eyes and found Lily's vibrant green eyes locked on his cloudy hazel ones. She sat up quickly and brushed her hair out of her eyes, looking everywhere but at James.
'Lils?' She turned to face him, sadness and apology evident on her face.
'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep you all night like that. I have no idea what I was thinking.' Her face was lined with worry and the tears from last night were threatening to fall again. James opened his arms for her and she fell gratefully into them. Her thin body was overcome with heaving sobs and James couldn't help but cry himself.
'It's okay, Lily. I didn't mind at all. You needed someone last night and I was the only one here. You forget that I've been through this too.' Lily looked up to see the sorrow that she was feeling written all over his face. 'I lost both my parents two years ago, remember?' Lily could. He had been sad and angry for weeks. He had lashed out at everyone, herself and his friends included. She sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes.
'Thanks, James. I'm going to take a quick shower and get dressed. If you want to take a shower, there's a bathroom downstairs that you can use. There's a closet across from my room where you can find towels.' She left the room after grabbing some clothes and walked down the hall. He waited until he heard the door close before getting off the bed.
Stopping outside the bathroom Lily was in, he could hear her crying over the running water. Sighing to himself, he headed down the stairs to the other bathroom. The house was quiet except for the water running. He guessed that Lily's sister and left for her own house last night. Shedding his clothes, he stepped under the hot water, letting it course down his skin, scalding him. His tears were undistinguishable from the water, except for the taste of salt.
When he stepped out almost an hour later, the redness was just starting to fade from his skin. He didn't hear the water from the bathroom up here, but the door was closed so he figured she was still in there. When he walked into Lily's bedroom, he stopped. Lily was sitting on her bed, her red hair still dripping.
Lily turned when she heard James at the door. She felt her jaw drop at the sight of him. He was shirtless, and his black pants that he had been wearing last night were slung low on his narrow hips. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw the water droplets from his dark hair drip onto his bare and Quidditch toned chest. She told herself that it wasn't polite to stare and that she should turn away, but the sight of a half-naked James standing in her doorway dripping wet was mesmerizing. Lily took a deep breath and forced herself to look away.
'Um, you can come in. You don't have to stand there all day.' She said, facing the open window. She could hear James walking across the floor and dump his clothes and towel on the floor beside the bed. She felt the mattress dip under his weight as he sat down next to her. He was close enough to her now that she could smell the shampoo and body wash he used, and the scents mixed together was intoxicating. She turned to face him once more, and she could see the water droplets on his face. She picked up the towel next to her and pulled his glasses off his face. Raising the towel to him, she began wiping the water off.
'Here. Wipe off your chest, dry your hair and please put your shirt back on. It's starting to bother me.' She said, handing the towel to him. She looked away so she wouldn't have to stare at him; even though he was giving her a chance to let her eyes wander over him.
'I..kinda don't have a clean shirt to wear.' Lily sighed and stood up.
'Come on. I'll find you a shirt.' She led the way down to a room at the end of the hallway. She stopped outside the closed door and took a deep breath. James was puzzled for a moment but figured out why she was so hesitant. "This must have been her parents’ room." he thought to himself. He reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. He felt her respond and he watched as she turned the handle of the door. She pushed the door open and slowly walked in, still clinging tightly to James' hand. Walking softly to the open closet door, she reached in and began searching for a shirt that James could wear.
'You are about the same size as my dad, so his clothes should fit you rather well.' said Lily, pulling out a dark blue shirt. She gazed down at the shirt for a moment, recalling memories of her father. She felt James' hand on her shoulder, and was surprised to feel warmth coming from it. She turned to him, and suddenly saw him in a new light. He wasn't here to make fun of her or ask her out; he was comforting her. She raised her head and stared into his eyes. They were warm, and they made her feel safe. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she brought his head down closer. She brought her lips to meet his, and was pleased to find that he was responding to her. She kissed him hungrily, wanting more, but before she could take it further, she pulled away, her hand over her mouth.
'Oh, Merlin, James. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen.' This all came out rushed as she backed up against the closet door. She stared at him for a moment, scared, and ran out of the room. James could hear her door banging shut as he sank to his knees on the soft plush carpet, his head spinning. Lily Evans, the girl he had been chasing around for years, had just kissed him. Why wasn't he happy? The answer was right in front of him. She hadn't kissed him because she was in love with him; she had kissed him because she was in pain and wanted comfort. He could feel it when she kissed him, and he should have pulled away, but he didn't. Instead, Lily pulled away and now she was feeling extremely guilty. He hoped it had given her some comfort at least...