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“Harry…are you alright? Harry, what’s wrong?”
Harry hastily wiped his tears and rid his head of the memories he was reencountering. The visions of Dumbledore falling out of the window didn’t seem to want to leave, but he pushed them to the back of his head, none-the-less. How could he be so stupid as to be caught crying by none other than the girl he loved?
“Nothing is wrong, Ginny. What are you doing in here?” he spat toward her.
She was taken aback, but didn’t let him notice as she walked over to him and sat down in the chair across from him.
“I just needed to…Never mind, it doesn’t matter. Please talk to me, Harry.” She didn’t want him to know that she needed to escape Hermione and all of her happiness. All she wanted was to talk to him.
“I can’t! Please leave, now! PLEASE, GINNY!” He lost his calmness without expecting and was just as scared of himself as Ginny was.
He immediately regretted yelling at her, but knew she wouldn’t have left if he hadn’t. The hurt expression on her face made his stomach flip flop. Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears, but for some reason they never left; they never strolled her cheeks, but instead stayed in her eyes where she wanted them.
She shot out of her seat and walked over to the door. She put her hand on the knob and then turned to look at him.
“You have to speak to someone soon or else you will have a break down!” she said fiercely as her eyes burned into his. “I don’t know what is going on between you and Hermione, but I am not buying it! Not a bit of it!”
With that, she stormed out.
******************
“Harry, open this door right now!”
Harry ignored the banging coming from the other side of his door. It slammed open and Hermione walked in.
“What is going on? You didn’t come to supper or dessert. You have been locked inside of here for almost eight hours! Do you realize it is almost 10 o’clock? Harry, what is wrong? Ginny came out hours ago practically crying! She was saying something about things finally catching up with you or some gibberish. She said you won’t talk to her. Harry please come down and talk with us.”
Harry continued to play with the hem on the covers of his bed.
“I don’t want to talk,” he said simply and quietly.
“Well, you need to. Everyone has gone to bed. Come down to Ron’s room with me, please.”
She walked over and grabbed his arm, making his stand up and follow her out of the room toward Ron’s.
“There you are! Merlin, you’ve been up there for hours!” Ron stated when Harry and Hermione entered his room. He was sitting on his bed cross-legged, while waiting for them to come back.
“So I’ve been told,” Harry said.
“Me and Ginny didn’t know if ‘Mione would be able to get you down here!” Ron said, ignoring Harry’s last statement.
Harry looked over to the bed next to Ron’s to find Ginny sitting on it, avoiding his glance.
“Harry please talk to us. We haven’t pushed you yet, but please don’t make this one like the summer a couple years back. Please talk and don’t hold it all in! We are here for you,” Hermione said.
Harry finally broke down. “HE WOULDN’T BE DEAD IF IT WEREN’T FOR ME! I SHOULD HAVE DRUNK THE POTION! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LET HIM DIE!!!” he yelled at them.
“Harry, don’t think that way! Nothing could have stopped his death. You went through this with Cedric too! It’s not your fault!” Ginny soothed.
“YOU ARE THE ONES THAT WANTED ME TO TALK ABOUT WHAT I HAPPEN TO BE THINKING AT THE MOMENT!” Harry screamed again.
The room grew silent again; not in shame but in curiosity of what he would say next.
“Sirius died because I was a stupid git and went to the Department of Mysteries. My parents died because I was born when the prophecy predicted. Cedric died because I told him to touch the cup with me at the end of the maze. It is all because of me; because I was born. But all of their deaths made no affect on the world. Dumbledore died this time, once again because of me. But this time it does affect the world. There was safety with him here. Not much, but there was some. But now there is none; no safety left. And that is because of me; all because of me.”
By the time Harry had finished he was barely audible. Nobody in the room said a word until at least five minutes had past. Everyone was processing what Harry had just told them.
“Wow,” Ron breathed.
“Oh Merlin,” Hermione murmured, “Harry, I can’t believe that you have been thinking this all summer without talking to anyone.”
“That’s not the half of it,” he told her trying to calm himself and thinking of everything with Ginny.
“Harry,” Ginny was at a loss of words, “I just…I never thought…It’s not your fault. None of it is. You must understand that.”
Harry closed his eyes. They were wrong. He should have never been born; he screwed everything up.
“You don’t honestly believe it’s entirely your fault, do you, Harry?” Ron screwed up his face and gaped at Harry in disbelief.
Harry didn’t answer.
“Bloody hell, Harry, how d’ you keep this all in for so long?”
Smiles began to break out around the room at Ron’s question.
“I don’t,” Harry stated simply with the shy smile becoming more apparent.
He started to realize why he cherished Ron and Hermione so much; they would always cheer him up.
“Sorry…you know…that you couldn’t talk sooner,” Ginny stuttered without looking at him.
He shook his head. “’Snot your fault, I swear it. I just wasn’t ready to let my thoughts become words just yet. Until Hermione made me, I guess. Sorry ‘bout snapping at you earlier, Gin,” Harry said.
Ginny looked up and gazed into his eyes. He had called her ‘Gin’. Maybe there was still a chance. He wouldn’t still call her his old nickname for her if he didn’t still have feelings for her.
He broke her gaze after a few moments. He could remember distinctly the day they spent in the common room just after they had begun to go out. They had made up a stupid joke about him having a Hungarian Horntail tattooed on his chest. She’d said it was macho. He instinctively grabbed his chest.
“What’s the matter?” Hermione asked him suddenly looking worried. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah just thinking. But forget about that. We should all go to bed. We have a wedding to attend in the morning. My room, seven o’clock?” Harry asked.
“Err…make it seven thirty?” Hermione asked and Ginny nodded in agreement.
“Fine by me. Goodnight, all see you in the morning bright and early!”
And they all went to their rooms for a night’s rest of sleep.
Never what it seems by Rons chick
Chapter Notes: This has recently been edited as well! :)
Manda*