Disclaimer: Come on, you know the drill. J.K. Rowling owns everything. I own nothing. Need I say any more?
Lily felt panic fog her brain and fear cloud her heart as she mechanically made her way down the well-worn path from Hogsmeade to the castle. She couldn’t believe what Sirius and Peter were plotting. She knew Sirius was a bit obnoxious, if not reckless, but she’d never imagine he would purposely and deliberately put another individual in life-threatening danger. Snape isn’t the most outgoing guy out there, she thought numbly as she quickly crossed the chilly grounds, but why would a popular, smart, kind boy like Sirius try to kill him? Deep in her heart, Lily knew the right answer, but after months of dreaming of him, she couldn’t bear to face it. Sirius Black wasn’t the nice man she thought he was- he was reckless to the point of cruelty. Face it, Evans, Lily told herself, trying to ignore a stubborn tear making its way down her cheek, he isn’t perfect for you.
With one hand on the heavy door to the entrance hall, Lily stopped suddenly. She had been so busy digesting the horrors of Sirius and Peter’s plan, she had forgotten to plan her next move. She knew she had to do the right thing, to prevent Snape from being killed, but what exactly was the right thing? If she told Snape what was under the Whomping Willow, he would laugh at her and sneak under it anyway to meet his doom. If she told Professor McGonagall, her favorite teacher, questions would definitely be asked- she was pretty sure students weren’t supposed to know Remus was a werewolf. Plus, how do you know Remus Lupin was a werewolf, anyway? a calm, cool, soothing voice from the very back of her head asked. You’ve got to ask him. And you know where he probably is and who’s with him. Lily took a deep breath, and leaned on the wooden door for support as another wave of dread washed over her. Yesterday in Charms, she had overheard Sirius tell Peter that James was staying with Remus in the boy’s dormitory the next day. To save an innocent life, Lily would have to go to the last place on Earth she wanted to go to- the boy’s dorm.
The dull thunks Lily’s hurried footsteps made as she quickly ascended the stone spiral staircase to the boy’s dormitories rivaled the pounding of her heart. She couldn’t figure out what made her so nervous about the boys’ dorms, but the mere thought of them made her uneasy. She had only been up here before once, in her first year, when she and Alice had visited Alice’s older brother Daniel, who was in his seventh year at the time, early Christmas morning. Panting slightly, she reached the uppermost door at the very top of the tower. For several long moments, she simply stared at the thick wooden door and lopsided sign reading, “Sixth Years,” as though daring it to open. Finally, she reached out a shaking hand and quietly knocked.
Lily heard voices inside- the gentle and low speech of Remus Lupin and James Potter’s fluent cursing- before the door opened slightly and James’s head peeked out. “I’m sorry, you can’t- Evans?!” James’s voice rose with surprise as he saw the attractive red-head standing outside the door. “What- what the hell are you doing up here?” he asked, stumbling over his words, but trying to stay cool. “The girl’s dormitory is on the other side of the tower. This is the boys’ dorm. You can’t be up here, unless you want be with me, of course.”
Lily resisted the urge to smack James hard on his fat head. Ignoring his rude comment, she said in a surprisingly calm voice, “I know it’s the boy’s dorm, you idiot. I came up here for a reason. I need to talk to Remus.”
“You what?” James asked. He stuck his head back into the dorm briefly, and Lily heard Remus whisper something to him. With his usual arrogant smile on his head, he poked his head back out and said in a triumphant voice, “He’s sick. You can’t come in.”
Lily was prepared for this, and said in a bored voice, rolling her eyes, “I’m sure he is. Look, Potter, this is very important. I need to talk to Remus right now.”
“I’m sorry,” James said in an equally forceful voice, “but he is sick. OK? Just- just go away, Evans. You can’t talk to him now.”
“If he’s so sick, maybe I should go and get Madam Pomfrey,” Lily said menacingly. She smiled as she watched James try to work his way out of that one.
“No, don’t get Madam Pomfrey, she already knows,” James said quickly. “She told him to, er, rest, yeah, that’s it. She told him not to talk to anyone, stay in the dorm, and, um, rest.”
“Madam Pomfrey knows, and so do I,” Lily said, quietly and swiftly. “OK, I know. He’s a werewolf. Happy? Now let me in!”
James whistled, long and low. “You are one determined woman,” he said softly in an awestruck voice. “Fine, if its that important, fine. Come in.” He threw open the door.
“Victory,” laughed Lily. A second later, her jaw dropped open in amazement and disgust as she got her first real view of the boy’s dormitory. It was an utter mess. Each of the five four-poster beds were unmade, with huge piles of books, papers, quills, ink bottles, socks, and robes thrown haphazardly onto them. Lily couldn’t see the floor; it was masked by a residue of crumbled parchment and wrinkled clothing. A peculiar smell wafted upwards from a damp brown paper bag that looked like it once contained food, and a line of ants scurried to it. Lily gasped as she saw several overflowing trunks spilling piles of dirty robes and crumpled-up t-shirts, and tried not to stare at the many pairs of boxers thrown upon the floor. Lily couldn’t remember a time when her dormitory was half as dirty as the boy’s; Andy, who was a bit of a neat-freak, had always made sure to clean up the dorm using some handy household spell, and had forced the others to do the same. Suddenly, Lily let out a soft scream as she saw the gaunt figure slumped in a chair near the window.
Lily had always been very close with Remus Lupin, the frail, sickly yet intelligent friend of James, Sirius, and Peter. They had become friends after they had to share a telescope in Astronomy during third year, and since then had spent many hours in front of the Gryffindor Common Room fire or in the library, studying together or simply talking. Though Lily knew Remus was extremely sickly and was a werewolf, she had never seen him in such a feeble state. His skin was as pale as death, and his eyes dull as he hunched up in the arm chair, shivering slightly even though he had wrapped a scarlet blanket tightly around his thin frame. He barely turned his head when Lily entered the room, and though she was worried for him, she couldn’t help but notice his corner was probably the cleanest- although she wasn't sure if that fuzzy green thing on the floor was a fun sock or an old sandwich. Ignoring the clutter of disgusting objects on the floor, Lily hurried to Remus and gave him a quick hug. “Oh, my god,” she whispered softly.
James crisply slammed the door behind Lily, and watched her with an expression of mild amusement on his face. “Look, Evans,” he said after a moment, “if whatever you need to tell Remus is so important, you'd better get cracking.”
Lily gave a start; she was so caught up in how sickly Remus was, she momentarily forgot James was there. “I don’t know where to begin,” she said shakily. James made an impatient noise, but Lily didn’t care. Deep in her heart, she knew telling James and Remus about the discussion she had overheard would help save Snape and make things better, but for some reason, she couldn’t face talking about it.
Remus said, softly in a hoarse and tired voice, “Lily, is it important? Because if it involves, you know, me being a w-werewolf, I have to know immediately.”
Lily took a deep breath, and said in a shaky, nervous voice, “I was in Hogsmeade right now, with Sirius-”
“What were you doing in Hogsmeade with Sirius?” asked James in an aggressive but hurt voice.
Lily felt her face redden, and hung her head down. She didn’t know why, but she couldn’t bear to look at James, though his glare was drilling into her. “W-we went together, James. Just you know, talking, seeing the sights…” her voiced trailed off.
James retorted, “Talking, right! I can't believe Sirius would take you on a date, Evans. And I really can’t believe you would let him!”
Lily felt a strange aching in her heart. “It was nothing- look, we’re not going out, James! I swear we’re not. Anyway, he and I were in Honeyduke's and Severus Snape came up and tried to say something smart, but Sirius cursed him. I took Sirius outside and was, well, telling him what I think of people who bully innocent victims, and then Peter Pettigrew walked up and asked to talk to Sirius. I couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying, and they were saying horrible things! Sirius said he told Snape where Moony was transforming, and that they were going to have quite a show tonight. James, I think they’re going to try to kill Snape!”
James swore vehemently. “Damn him,” he screamed, “damn him! Moony, do you realize what is going to happen tonight?”
Remus nodded grimly. Lily was suddenly remembered something she was always curious about, but had never bothered to ask. “Remus,” she asked, “where exactly do you go to transform?”
Remus sighed loudly. “Lily,” he said gently, “do you know that mad tree, the Whomping Willow? I’m sure you do… anyway, on it there is a certain knot that will freeze the entire tree. The Willow covers a special underground passage, which leads to the Shrieking Shack, in Hogsmeade. The tree…the tunnel…the shack, they were all built for my use. I go down there every full moon to transform. Snape noticed I leave the school once a month, and has asked me, James, Peter, and Sirius why many times. I suppose Sirius told him how to get into the tunnel under the tree. If he gets that far, Lily, you and I know he will be faced with a fully-grown werewolf- me. He’ll be killed, and there‘s nothing we can do about it.”
Lily found her voice was cracking slightly. “What do you mean, we can‘t do anything?” she asked furiously. “Surely we can tell Professor Dumbledore, or tell Snape not to go down, or something. We have to do something.”
Remus sighed. “I have to go down to the Willow in about ten minutes,” he said, frowning. “None of those plans would work, and we have no time to think of a better plan. What can we do?”
Lily asked, “Well, can’t we tell Snape or Dumbledore?”
James responded, “Snape would never believe us. Trust me, that would only make him more curious to find out what’s under the tree. And if we told a teacher, that would be like a betrayel of trust to Sirius. He would be expelled for sure. I’m mad at him right now, but we just can’t do that to him. He’s my best friend.”
“So, does that mean we let Snape die?” Lily screamed furiously, shaking with rage. “Aren’t innocent lives worth more than friendship?”
James sighed, sank onto one of the beds, and pounded his forehead for a moment, evidently thinking hard. Finally, he straightened up and said, with a grim smile, “I’ve got an idea. But, Evans, before we pull it off, I’ve got to warn you the plan is really risky. I’m only doing this for you, Evans, so you better think long and hard before you agree to this. Because if the plan doesn’t work, Evans, there’s a good chance me and Snape will both be killed.”
About fifteen minutes later, Lily and James silently prowled down the stairs of the boy’s dormitory under James’s silver Invisibility Cloak. Although usually she would have been awestruck by such a powerful magical object, Lily hardly cared now. For some reason, she felt more aware of her body than usual, and every time her shoulder brushed against James, she felt an electric shock surge through her body. She wondered if the cloak would make her hair stick up, but then reminded herself they were on a mission, and needed to focus. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest as they slowly made their way through the common room. James hadn’t told her yet about the plan, and Lily was beside herself trying to figure it out, although she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know what it was.
“Look, Evans,” James said as they crept into the forest. The sky was beginning to darken, and for the first time, Lily noticed how James’s hazel eyes glowed in the twilight. “Here’s the plan. You wait out here. I follow Snape into the passageway and pull him back.”
Lily gasped in horror. “No!” she whispered angrily. “That’s stupid, and really dangerous! God, James, I thought you were smart! That plan is just ridiculous.”
James quailed under the look she gave him. “It isn't the best or safest plan out there, but it will have to do,” he said gravely. “What other choices do we have?”
Lily felt the fight go out of her. “Fine,” she said in a defeated voice, “but if we have to do that, why must I just wait outside? James, please, let me help you! I want to help.”
James scowled. “No,” he gasped, “Lily, please, you can’t. Lily, it’s a really risky thing to do, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I don’t care!” she retorted in a deadly voice. “An innocent life is at stake, James! I would rather try to save him and die trying than sit and wait outside. I’m a girl, James, but I’m strong. I can handle it. What I can’t handle is sitting back and watching you get killed, James. Please, let me help!”
“No!” pleaded James. “You mean too much to me, Lily. I can’t let you do this.”
“What about me?” Lily asked. “Do you think I don’t care? Do you think I’m not worried about you? Do you think I don’t like you? James, I really can’t let you go alone! Honestly, you mean too much to me!”
Lily wasn’t sure of what she was saying or doing anymore. All she knew was that she couldn’t let James go alone. The James she had known her whole life, the annoying, arrogant, teasing James simply melted away and was replaced by someone who was much, much more. Before she knew what was happening, his mouth was pressed against hers, and there were firecrackers exploding in her chest like she had never dreamed she could feel. She didn’t know how long they kissed, and only when they broke apart did she realize what she had done, and what she had felt, about James Potter! She wondered why she didn’t slap him away, the realized that she loved him. Sirius didn’t matter anymore. She knew she was perfect for James. She knew what he needed to do, and she loved him for that.
“Thanks,” James said in an oddly husky voice. “I needed that, really, I did. I’ve got to go now. If I die, I’ll have that memory forever. Lily, I just want to tell you, before I risk my life, that I love you!”
Lily couldn’t trust herself to speak. She was still in shock. Numbly, she sat down on the ground and thought about what had just happened. As she watched James walk away, she realized there was nothing left to do but wait.
A/n- finally, I’m done with that brick of a chapter. I've changed my plans to include a bonus chapter- TWO more chapters, people! Chappie 4 will be a climax and Chapter 5 is going to be a conclusion. Thanks for all your reviews!
As always thanks my betas, this isn't Jess, MalfoysMistress and my sister. Thanks to my wonderful mod, Magical Maeve.