Chapter 12: Excrutio Venenum
Lily sat in the Gryffindor common room, curled up tightly in a ball in a cushiony armchair that she’d scooted closer to the fire she’d restarted. No one else was up at this late hour, and for that she was grateful. She needed this time to herself. To think.
Some nights she would awaken from dreams”or nightmares”about her parents. They could be happy memories, or they could be some the worst moments of her life. Tonight had been different.
She’d seen her mother, and it had seemed as if she was trying to tell her something. Her mouth would move, but Lily wouldn’t ever hear words, or any sound for that matter. Her mother had started out with calm composure that had quickly escaladed into furious frustration when she’d seen that Lily was not listening. The message must have been important, but Lily couldn’t read lips.
What did it mean? What had her mother been trying to say? Lily wished she knew, wished the curiosity wasn’t clawing at her.
And because the dream had left loose ends, Lily decided to just shut it out until it meant something more, or until she had more pieces to the puzzle.
It was just a dream, after all.
It had been two months since they’d returned to school. Eight full weeks of chatter, gossip, and rumors”all of which usually included her. She was doing her best to put up with it, to ignore it, to answer the questions she felt comfortable answering. But the frustration and the annoyance with everyone were building up inside her like a volcano.
“Lily, how did you ever survive?” “What did he really look like?” “Oh, Lily, I’m so sorry about your mum and dad.” “Is it true that you and James Potter are going out?”
Yes, Lily answered mentally. Yes, she and James were still going strong. It was a plus that each of their groups of friends got along together, too.
They walked to classes together, sat by each other at meals”totally normal things that couples do. They had casual, polite conversations, or they had long and patient conversations that vented stored-up energy, negative or positive.
Lily understood when he needed time to himself or time to just spend with his friends, and he understood when she needed the same. They worked together, laughed together, and put each other in their place when appropriate.
She was still in love with him. Sappy as it sounds, it felt as if every day the emotion just grew stronger and more impenetrable. Sometimes she’d just be sitting there, thinking completely contrary thoughts, when bam! sentiments and romantic memories would burst before her eyes as if they never wanted her to forget, not even for a few minutes.
Presently, Lily’s eyes drooped as she pulled her dressing gown closer for warmth, for the flames were dwindling. She didn’t feel she had the energy to get up and stoke them, so she just gazed as they shrunk, yet flickered defiantly, determined to burn until the very last of their fuel was gone.
Charlie and Kalvin had broken up just last week. They’d had their first”and last”fight. Charlie had brooded for a few days, but was back to her old self. Although, she still didn’t speak even the slightest hint of what the fight had been about.
Lily had supported her and so had everyone else. But Lily noticed that Sirius seemed to have a ghost of a smile playing around his lips, strangely since Charlie and Kalvin’s fight.
Big mystery, that was.
No, Lily had figured out a long time ago which kind of fondness Sirius had for Charlie. Some might be big-brother protection, but she’d caught him staring at her best friend’s lips when he thought no one else was looking.
Maybe he’d fallen in lust with Charlie, but Lily figured that a guy like Sirius could easily scratch that itch. No, she thought as she watched yet another flame die, it was something deeper. Maybe not much deeper, but deeper nonetheless.
With an abrupt thought, Lily wondered how Petunia was. Was she married yet? Was she happy? Was she still grieving Mum and Dad? As bitter as the sisters’ last meeting had been, Lily still regretted that she wouldn’t even be keeping in touch with her last blood relative. She hated knowing that someone hated her (besides the Slytherins, of course. That she’d grown used to).
Just more prejudice, Lily mused, fighting to keep her eyes open and her mind focused. The famous muggle book by Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird, came to mind.
Suddenly, she was jolted awake as alarm slammed through her system. She sprung out of her armchair, wand outthrust, and whipped around.
The beam of light she’d mentally conjured shone into the big, bright blue eyes of a first year girl Lily knew by face but couldn’t think of the name to match. The blue pools were widened in fright, and the poor girl had frozen, but now stood shaking like an earthquake.
Kimmy, Lily remembered. The girl’s name was Kimmy. She was small, even for her age, and was also the youngest of her year. Her hair was disheveled around her face from sleep; the color was such a pale blonde that Lily swore she could almost see straight through it. Her skin was pale from being scared, but Lily knew it to be fair naturally. But now that she thought about it, the girl had been looking very sickly and tired ever since school started again.
“I’m sorry,” Lily said so quietly it was nearly a whisper. “I was just sitting here.” Her lips curved ever so slightly. “I think you scared me as much as I scared you.”
When the girl didn’t move, barely breathed, Lily frowned and cautiously took a baby step toward her. Still Kimmy didn’t move. Lily slowly held out her hand. “Kimmy, right? Come here, Kimmy. I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry I frightened you.”
Lily held back a shudder as those big blue eyes just stared back at her. There was something eerily creepy about them. They weren’t adorable, as they would appear at first glance. But spooky. Glazed. Secrets swam in those eyes, but none close enough to the surface to interpret.
Then, without a word, Kimmy turned around and climbed back up the stairs, leaving Lily baffled.
“She was probably sleep walking,” Sirius suggested when Lily told him, James, Remus, Peter, and Charlie about it at breakfast. “Little kids do it all the time.” He shoved an entire piece of sausage into his mouth in one go.
“Like you,” Remus muttered obviously under his breath, going into a fake coughing fit to cover it.
“I do not sleep walk. I can be restless in an unconscious state,” Sirius clarified. “Big difference.”
“How?” Lily asked dubiously.
“Sleep walking is like what mummies do when they’re awakened from the dead.” To demonstrate, Sirius got up and stood in the aisle. Stiff legged, arms held out in front of him, he wobbled slowly to and fro with an occasional moan.
“Definitely. I just read a book on updated statistics. Handfuls of mummies are awakening daily, they say,” Lily said with a serious expression. Charlie snorted next to her. Sirius frowned as he sat again. “Anyway, people who sleep walk don’t always walk around like that. Hardly ever, really. In fact, sleep walkers have actually held full conversations.” She spooned up some porridge. “Something about how the different parts of your brain work.”
“If you have one.” Charlie rapped her knuckles on the top of Sirius’s head. He narrowed his eyes at her playfully and they seemed to suddenly be immersed in their own world. Lily had to clear her throat to have them crashing back to Earth.
“So,” James began from across the table, gesturing with his fork, “she was sleep walking. Typical. Nothing to sweat about.”
Lily stared at her scrambled eggs intently as she pushed them around her plate. It should make sense, she thought. So why didn’t it? Why is my sixth sense going off? “Yeah. No sweat.”
The six silently agreed that that was the end of the discussion, and ate more of their breakfast.
“Lily?”
The redhead turned in her seat and found herself being addressed by Kimmy. She was twitching oddly, causing Lily’s eyebrows to frown in both concern and curiosity. “Yes, Kimmy?”
“I… I wanted to apologize about last night. In the common room.” The usually high and youthful voice was squeaky and stuttering. “I don’t know exactly what happened, but I remember seeing you, and Natalie told me this morning that I had been sleep walking again. I figured I’d run into you along the way of things. So, to apologize for any inconvenience, I wanted to offer you a goblet of pumpkin juice before you had any.”
With jerky movements, the petite girl held out a goblet of liquid.
Lily glanced at the full goblet in front of her plate. Strange, she thought. Maybe Kimmy thought it was someone else’s. But why in the world would she give me juice?
To be polite, Lily put on a bright smile as she took the cup from the girl. Kimmy stared at her intensely while she twitched and trembled. She waited. Her head started to shake no softly.
Catching the drift, Lily drank generously from the goblet, and refrained from grimacing. That was not pumpkin juice.
Unexpectedly, Kimmy fell to the floor, sobbing as she screamed, “No! Stop! I won’t! Don’t tell me to any more! Stop!”
Every head in the Great Hall turned to look at her, and professors were standing and hurrying down. Lily hastily kneeled next to the weeping girl and cradled her head in her arms.
“Kimmy, what’s wrong? Kimmy, look at me. It’s Lily, Lily Evans. What’s wrong?”
The girl came to, and gazed at Lily calmly as her breath heaved. James came to kneel next to Lily, and they shared a confused glance. Then, Kimmy grabbed Lily by the shirtfront with surprising strength and demanded, “Did you drink it? Did you drink it? Please, please, tell me you didn’t drink it.”
Lily looked at her as if she had spurted several more heads. “The juice?” she asked stupidly.
“Yes!” Kimmy exclaimed impatiently. “Yes, the juice! Did you drink it?”
“Er… a bit.”
Kimmy wailed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to! Please, you can’t blame me! They made me do it!”
Dumbledore, along with many other professors, now joined Lily on their knees. Turning Kimmy’s face toward him, he asked in a soothing tone, “Do what, dear?” Lily noticed a slight edge to his voice, however, as if the answer was important.
Kimmy ignored him though and, tearing her head out of the headmaster’s grasp, threw her arms around Lily’s neck. “I’m so, so sorry! I didn’t mean to, I didn’t!”
Lily held the child as she wept, rocking her as she exchanged bewildered glances with the professors and her friends.
All she could think was: What’s happened now?
She tried to carry on with her day as normally as possible. She went from class to class, doing her best to ignore the whispers and stares. Just when things were dying down, she mused ironically. Now they’re all riled up again.
She also noticed her professors would make sure to keep one eye trained on her more often that not.
It wasn’t until Care of Magical Creatures, her last class of the day, that she felt the throbbing. It wasn’t a required class, but she loved animals, and them being magical only made it more fascinating to her. She’d managed to drag Charlie into it with her, despite her friend’s disgust for the outdoors.
It was there she felt it. It was dull, just a slight pounding in her abdomen.
Halfway through the class, it had spread to her torso and thighs, and was sharper.
By the time the class was being excused, it was everywhere, pulsating through her veins.
It’s just the aches, Lily told herself. It’ll pass in no time.
But it didn’t.
When she and Charlie had gained only a portion of the trail back to the school, a sudden invisible knife jabbed into her and twisted. Lily gasped, and felt to her knees on the dirt path instantly. It wouldn’t stop.
“Lily?” Charlie asked, concerned. “Lily, what’s the matter? Are you okay?”
All Lily could manage was to merely shake her head.