Chapter 15: Life Goes On
As Snape had said, the pain was gone, but Lily still battled the fevers and vomiting throughout the next day. James was excused from classes to help her, but McGonagall had come in to sternly tell the others that they should attend. She’d waved aside groans and excuses.
Sometimes Lily would be talking with James one minute, then suddenly stop and let her face go blank. She would blink, shake her head, and look at James and ask what she’d been talking about.
Other times she could be doing anything”pacing, having a conversation, or be in the middle of throwing up”when she would suddenly go limp and fall unconscious.
Lily had heard every word Snape had spoken when he’d read everyone the antidote. She heard the part that had warned she could thereafter be infertile. It had, as with everyone else, caused her pause.
But she had also agreed with James. Sure, she could forever be unable to have children”key word being could”but if she hadn’t taken the potion, she might have never even had the chance to see if she could or not.
It was unspoken, but both she and James knew that eventually they would be together in the future. And by be together she meant married, joint bank accounts, till death do they part, the whole nine yards.
They hadn’t had the discussion yet because A) they didn’t want to jinx the good they had going, and B) face it, they were only seventeen years old. Most Muggles wouldn’t even be engaged for another ten or fifteen years.
But they weren’t engaged, and they weren’t Muggles, Lily told herself as she ate breakfast six days after she’d taken the antidote. James had had to go back to classes four days ago, and she had started to dig into her pile of missed homework.
Getting back on track, Lily figured they had around two and a half months of school left until they graduated. Because it was easy, she gave herself the excuse of having plenty of time yet to talk with James on the subject. Who said she had to do it now?
Throughout the rest of the day she work on homework. Thankfully she only fell unconscious once while she was writing an essay for Charms, and she gave herself kudos for not forgetting anything even once.
Charlie came to visit her at lunch. Lily had noticed that when all of her friends came at once to check on her, Charlie and Sirius had either been holding hands, talking animatedly, or laughing. Not that any of that was a crime, nor did any of it mean anything, but it was still notable because it wasn’t normal.
“”Broke up with Sean”you know, Sean Hatinger”and they’d only been going out for nine days,” Charlie was saying as she ate some grapes off of Lily’s lunch tray. She was sitting on the end of the bed. “Not that I care, but Sean deserves better than Jessica Fanning, and he should have seen this coming. I can’t remember the last time she was with someone for more than two weeks. Except that one time with Gavin Fitzgerald, but that doesn’t count, because they were both seeing someone else on the side, anyway.” She smiled at the memory. “I swear, except for when you and James used to fight, the Gryffindor common room hadn’t been closer to a war zone than it had when that cat had come out of the bag. All hell had broken loose.”
“My, is someone chatty today,” Lily mumbled before biting into her chicken sandwich.
Charlie pursed her lips and shook her head slowly. “It’s not the day, it’s the day’s events. Jessica Fanning is a right bitch, and guess who she’s got her sights set on now?”
Lily looked up with a mouth full of chicken, her cheeks puffed out and her eyes wide with inquisition.
Charlie jabbed a finger in her direction. “James Potter and Sirius Black.” She nodded wisely. Through her red-haired friend’s choking, she continued, “Fanning knows James is off limits, but that doesn’t give her any shameful qualms, and it certainly doesn’t stop her from flirting with him. Although it’s rather amusing, like watching mental people talk to a brick wall.”
She leaned forward and reached out to pat Lily’s knee. Eyes wide with earnest, she told her, “You don’t have to worry with him, Lily. He’s only got eyes for you.” She sat back again and popped another grape in her mouth. “Anyhow, the one I’m worried about is Sirius.”
Lily’s ears pricked up, but she remained casual. “Why’s that?”
“Because Sirius is single, and known for liking dumb, busty blondes.”
Or boy-shy brown-eyed brunettes with the name Charlize Renée Simmons, thought Lily.
Without looking at her, Lily quietly suggested, “Well, maybe you should beat her to him.”
Charlie’s attention snapped to her in complete surprise. “Why on Earth would I do that?”
Lily looked at her incredulously. “Excuse me? Okay, I think I’m going blind, then. Have you or have you not been getting rather… cozy, with Sirius?”
Charlie opened her mouth to speak, but then her brows furrowed and she closed it again. She looked down at her lap in deep consideration. When she looked up at Lily again, she wore confusion with a capital C.
“I guess I have…but getting that cozy with him was never my intention. I thought he was just being a friend…” There was a brief pause before she buried her face in her hands. “Oh, Merlin, am I that stupid and oblivious, or just plain stupid?”
Lily got up to rub her friend’s back. “I’m sorry, Charlie, but it’s kind of sad that you’ve never noticed Sirius fancies you.”
Charlie slowly turned her head around and glared. After a moment she dropped her head back into her hands. Though it was muffled, she muttered faintly, “I can’t believe this. What do I do now?”
Lily reclaimed her seat on her hospital bed opposite Charlie. “Well, do you like Sirius, Charlie? And by like, I mean, would you take him as a boyfriend should the opportunity present itself?”
As Charlie thought deep and hard about her answer, Lily finished her chicken sandwich and the rest of her lunch. She placed it on the bedside table so she could scoot closer to her best friend.
After several long minutes, Charlie slowly started to nod her head. “Yes… I think so, yes.” As if gaining more confidence in her answer, she sat up straighter and looked Lily in the eye. “Yes, I like Sirius just fine.”
Lily broke out in a broad smile and leapt forward to embrace Charlie. Then she promptly shoved her off the bed. “Go, hurry! Go ask him out, then! Beat Fanning to it!”
Charlie scrambled to her knees. “But what if he says no?”
“Then he doesn’t deserve you anyway. Besides, he’d have to answer to me!”
On a burst of energy, Lily jumped from the bed and physically pushed Charlie to the door of the infirmary, smiling like a maniac all the while. “Go, go, go! Get a move on! Go!”
She slammed the door on Charlie’s sputtering. After giving the dreamy sigh of a romantic, she took two steps and proceeded to fall flat on her face, unconscious.
Madam Pomfrey stepped out of her office, caught sight of the heap on the floor, and shook her head as she huffed out a breath.
Later that afternoon after the last class, Lily looked up from her Potions textbook to see James enter the infirmary. There were no other patients, though two seventh years from Ravenclaw had accompanied one of their friends to get a Draught of Peace, for she had started to get nervous about NEWTs early.
Once he’d reached her bedside, he planted his fists on his hips though the smile he wore betrayed his sternness. “What did you do to Charlie?”
Lily was baffled for a moment before she stood and, smiling, asked, “Did she ask him?”
“Yes, right in the middle of Transfiguration. When Sirius said yes, and Charlie started to giggle, McGonagall turned around and asked, ‘Is there something you would like to share with us, Miss Simmons, Mr. Black?’ Sirius stood up, surprising everyone, and announced, ‘Yes, professor, there is. I just accepted to go on a date with Charlie next Hogsmeade trip.’”
Lily gaped before she broke down and laughed. James chuckled as he finished, “I think McGonagall was so surprised she forgot to take points off for his cheek. That or it was her way of subtly approving of the couple.”
Needless to say, that night when Charlie came to see Lily, she was practically ready to implode.
The next day Lily was released after classes had ended. She dressed in clean school robes and headed to dinner. Heads turned and whispers broke out, but Lily didn’t let any of it bother her.
Most of the students, especially the Gryffindors, gave her a warm welcome back. The Slytherins only brooded into their food. Once, Lily caught Kimmy Pierce’s eye, and gave a smile to show that she just wanted to forgive and forget.
Halfway through dinner, she also noticed Jessica Fanning giving her and Charlie, whom Lily sat by, fierce looks. Lily’s only reaction was to ignore her.
The following Monday in Potions, Lily was paired with Severus Snape to concoct the Draught of Sleeping Death. Said draught wasn’t normally what seventh years would be taught to brew, but since they’d already finished everything on the criteria, Slughorn advanced a level.
Snape was strangely silent. Not that Lily was complaining, because if he wasn’t saying anything, he was most likely insulting her. But his sneer seemed half-hearted, and his thoughts seemed to be on something distant.
“Would you please pass me the wormwood, Snape?” she asked when the potion was ready for her to add the next ingredient. When he didn’t respond, Lily turned to look at him. He was staring at the contents of their cauldron, but his eyes weren’t focused. “Snape.” No response. Though she didn’t know if she was doing a good thing or a bad, she lightly nudged him with her elbow. “Earth to Severus.”
He jolted, and thankfully didn’t upset any of the vials containing ingredients. Lily was quick to reassure him, not wanting him to blow up at her. “I’m sorry, but you were far away, and we need to hurry and add the wormwood.”
“Oh, right,” he said absently, clearing his throat as he handed her the ingredient. This really caught her attention, because she’d thought he would have threatened her not to touch him again or something.
He stayed at least half attentive as they finished the potion. When Lily was carefully ladling it into a vial and labeling it with their names, she tentatively ventured, “Severus, I want you to meet me in the library after dinner. I need to talk to you.”
He only nodded and ignored the use of his first name as he took the vial out of her hands just as the bell rang.
When dinner was coming to a close, Lily saw him get up from the Slytherin table, exchange a last word with a classmate over his shoulder, and leave the Hall. She quickly finished her own beef stew, threw back her pumpkin juice, and told her friends, “I’m done. I have to go look up something in the library for Flitwick. See you all later.”
She walked briskly down the corridors leading to the library. When she entered, she gave Madam Pince a cheery smile and a wave. She didn’t see Severus at any of the tables, and hoped worriedly that he hadn’t misled her. She walked by the rows, peering down each one as she passed.
He was in the last one, in a rather shadowy corner of the library, leafing through a book about goblins of the fifteenth century. When he heard her footsteps, he shut the book sharply, replaced it on the shelf, and stood there awkwardly, hands hidden in his sleeves.
Lily didn’t start speaking right away when she reached him, but instead gazed at him with her arms folding across her chest. She saw how…harmless he appeared with eyes darting around and his cheeks tinged lightly with pink. She knew that by stringing out the silence she was only putting him in more agony, and found it rather amusing.
Finally deciding to break his embarrassment, she impulsively reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder and took step closer. Only when his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed darker did she finally realize why he was acting this way. He fancied her.
She could barely stop herself from giggling out loud. From his point of view, it seemed like they were lovers that had snuck away to have a quickie. As this thought passed through her mind, she had to painfully bite the corners of her lips to keep from smiling and laughing out loud.
Inwardly she was a bit taken aback by this sudden revelation. Severus Snape had only ever lashed at her with insults, made fun of her heritage, and mocked her intelligence.
She didn’t understand why she wasn’t awkward at the moment herself. Rather, she was amazed by her nonchalance. She had her hand on his shoulder, for Merlin’s sake!
But she didn’t remove it, because otherwise she would become embarrassed herself, putting more tension in the air than there already was. And it would be showing cowardice. Lilliana Brielle Evans was not a coward.
So instead she lifted her chin slightly. “Severus,” she began softly, “I want to thank you, for what you did for me.” Putting as much warmth into her voice as possible, she said, “You saved my life.”
He seemed to forget his awkwardness, and gazed into her eyes intensely.
She gave him a small smile. “I owe you. If there’s any way I can repay you, let me know.”
Suddenly, before she could even gasp, he reached out, framed her face, and kissed her. Lily braced both hands on his shoulders, ready to push him away, when she realized.
All he wanted in exchange for saving her life, was one simple kiss.
So, shoving guilty thoughts of deceiving James out of her mind, Lily let her lashes flutter down to her cheek as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kept in her right mind, which told her to not run her hands through his hair like she loved to do with James, but instead clasp them together and hold them still.
It wasn’t completely gross, kissing Severus Snape, as she would have thought. He was decent, keeping it a closed-mouth kiss, which she mentally praised him for doing. His lips were surprisingly warm, instead of the ice that oh-so-often filled his eyes. She mused fleetingly that if he took better care of his hygiene, he could be much more appealing to the female species.
Careful to not let the kiss go on longer than what was appropriate, Lily gently drew back slightly to look in his eyes. His hands were still on her face, but he dropped them when she let her arms fall to her sides. Once again she gave him a small smile, threading understanding into it so he would know that she knew what she had just done for him.
“I don’t want to be at odds with you anymore, Severus,” she told him quietly. “There’s already too much conflict in the world we live in.” She laughed a little as she said, “You don’t have to smile at me or anything, and you don’t have to like James; I wouldn’t want you to go against your own rules.” She sobered. “But you could at least spare the insults I now know you don’t mean.”
She took a few steps backward before saying, “I’ll see you around, Sev.”
She flashed him one last brilliant smile before turning and walking away.