Chapter 4: Marauders Tell All
Lily opened her eyes. Sunlight was barely starting to stream though the windows of the infirmary.
Attempting to take a deep breath, she winced at the sudden pain in her chest. She tried to sit up, but that proved difficult, for her left arm was in a sling, and she had so many bandages wrapped around her waist she couldn’t bend easily.
The bite.
Lily’s widened her eyes at the memory. Was she a werewolf now? Will she be cursed for the rest of her life? She began to cry due to shock and disbelief. Why did she go nosing around in other people’s business? WHY?! Why did she need to know everything?
But then, who was the werewolf? Why was it in the Shrieking Shack? It couldn’t be… Remus… Could it?
Lily snapped her head to the doors of the hospital wing as they opened. Madam Pomfrey entered, Remus floating in the air ahead of her. She laid him on the bed next to Lily’s.
The nurse glanced at her and said, “I’ll be with you shortly.”
Lily took a good look at the unconscious Remus. He had lacerations everywhere”on his face, arms, chest, and legs. His clothes were ripped in several places, appearing irredeemable.
Is that what she’ll start looking like once a month, too? Cut and bruised to no end?
Unexpectedly, the infirmary’s doors burst open and James, Sirius, Peter, and Charlie hurried in. All looked overwhelmed with worry and concern.
Charlie rushed over, scanning Lily with wide eyes. “What happened to you?” she breathed.
She perched on the edge of Lily’s bed and lightly traced the minor scratches on Lily’s face. “I thought you had gone to bed…” Looking away, she seemed to need a moment to collect herself.
It wasn’t often that Lily got hurt like this”or at all, for that matter. She’s usually one to take precaution and tip toe into things, not charge headfirst and hope for the best with the outcome. When she would occasionally get sick with a cold or something, she made sure to be rid of right ASAP, so she could get back to her priorities.
Lily wouldn’t make eye contact with anybody. Now that she was a werewolf, she didn’t feel stellar enough to be in her friend’s presence any longer. They surely would think her an outcast, to have done something so stupid and come out contaminated with a monthly affliction.
She figured the sooner they knew the truth, the better. Why go on lying? What good would come of that? Gazing at the very interesting pattern of threading on the sheets, Lily quietly spoke. “Charlie, let me explain.” She started to take a deep breath, but a stab of pain in her ribs cut that off. Swallowing hard in order to moisten her suddenly dry mouth, Lily plunged on. “Last night I lied to you. I went to snoop into business that wasn’t my own. And now… I’m…” Out with it woman! “I’m a werewolf.”
Dead silence. Quick, shallow breathes filled Lily’s lungs as she awaited the inevitable rejection. But it didn’t come. Why wasn’t everyone in a disgusted uproar? Had they not heard her? Not understood her?
“Werewolf?” Madam Pomfrey’s confusion made Lily jump and look up to where the aging woman had momentarily abandoned her other patient and was staring at her. “What gave you that idea?”
Lily gaped. How could the nurse not know, having to have had to mend the bite? “I”the bite”“
“Was not brought about by a werewolf, you can be sure of that. But I can’t deny that it wasn’t one of the worst incisions I’ve ever had to handle. Quite a nasty thing, it was. Whatever gave you the idea it was from a werewolf?” The nurse felt Lily’s forehead. “Maybe a fever is getting to you. You do feel a bit warm.”
Because I’m blushing like a ripe tomato in September, Lily thought.
Madam Pomfrey turned to James, Sirius, Peter, and Charlie. She waved her hands at them while saying, “Out with you! I have patients that need rest! Out!”
Lily bit her lip and closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to see the perplexed expressions on her friends’ faces as they exited the infirmary. Oh, that was humiliating. Now their curiosity has only been aroused more. She will never hear the end of it, that’s for certain.
Madam Pomfrey had redressed Lily’s middle and given her a potion to help the rib, otherwise she had already healed everything. Then she had demanded Lily take a potion for her fever (She didn’t really have one!), followed by a Dreamless Sleep Draught.
She awoke to frustrated grunts. She stared around blearily, collecting her bearings, until her gaze landed on Remus. He was trying to sit up, but seemed to be in such pain yet he was failing. Lily watched him for a moment, waiting for the effects of the draught to wear off.
“Don’t worry,” she finally said. Remus looked at her startled. He mustn’t have noticed her there. “I can’t sit up either.”
With a sigh, Remus flopped back down onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. After a few minutes, he asked, “What are you doing here?”
It was Lily’s turn to sigh. “It’s a very long story. Seriously.”
“I’m not in a hurry, you?”
“Fine.” Lily took as deep a breath she could in her current condition. She couldn’t help but feel awkward saying this to the main character of her story.
“Well, you see, after you had left, I was looking out the window and saw Madam Pomfrey walking towards the Whomping Willow. Curiosity got the better of me, unfortunately. I followed her there and once she was back inside the castle I made my way into the tunnel beneath the Whomping Willow. It led to the Shrieking Shack. I left straight away because”“ Should she save him the guilt? Even though he’d probably figured out where her story was leading, Lily could at least spare him as much as she could.
“”It crept me out. But once I got to the end of the tunnel and was just climbing out, I realized I was being followed by”“ She cut herself off again. Taking a breath and speaking considerably quieter, she continued. “A werewolf.”
Remus started breathing quickly and sharply. Lily decided to leave off there, but he persisted. “Then what?” he croaked.
Okay, but told me to finish. “It attacked me. But just as it was about to bite me, a dog came out of nowhere and wrestled the werewolf. They ended up on top of me eventually, and the dog took a nice chunk out of my side. Then a stag came and it and the dog chased the werewolf into the Forbidden Forest. I don’t remember much after that.”
Should she ask him if he was the werewolf? Lily took a glance at him. Remus’ eyes were wide but still staring at the ceiling. He seemed very uneasy, and that only led Lily’s suspicions closer to being confirmed. But before she could open her mouth, she was surprised to here him speak.
“I’m so, so sorry, Lily. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I really didn’t. I don’t have any control over it, none,” he admitted quickly.
“Remus”“
“I was only a little boy, Lily. I had known not to go near the woods, but wonder got the better of me. There’s no cure, nothing can help me. You have to understand, Lily. I am so sorry. I”“
“Remus!” Lily cut him off. She felt so sorry for him. He seemed desperate to plead innocence, but Lily already knew he didn’t want to be a werewolf. He was forced to be one, and there wasn’t anything to help him. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I forgive you. I’m here, I’m”well, getting healthy. What’s done is done. I kind of figured you were a werewolf. I don’t like you any less, Remus.”
No noise was made for several moments. Then, hesitantly, Remus asked, “Really?”
Lily wished she could hug him right now, but she couldn’t even turn onto her side to look at him. She wasn’t angry with him in the slightest. If anything, she was sad for him. She didn’t know how he could remain stable when human. He needed friends more than anybody, just to give him support. Lily has a whole new respect for James, Sirius, and Peter. “Really.”
At that moment there was a knock on the big wooden doors of the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey bustled out of her office and greeted the visitors. From what Lily could hear, Charlie and the other three Marauders wanted to come and visit. After some debating, the matron gave in and decided on a half hour, then migrated back to her office.
Lily turned her head away as Charlie sat on the edge of her bed and the boys pulled up chairs between Lily and Remus’ beds. They chatted with him quietly and Charlie heaved Lily’s book bag onto her bed.
“There’s your homework. We have an essay for Transfiguration, but that’s pretty much it. I can’t believe you carry around all these books everyday,” she said. When Lily didn’t return her gaze, she patiently commanded, “Lily, look at me.”
Reluctantly, Lily complied. Charlie scrutinized her for a moment, something she was very good at. “What happened?”
Lily knew she couldn’t hide it forever, especially not from Charlie. As ashamed as she felt, she retold her story to her best friend. Charlie’s eyes grew large, but other than that she hid all emotions on her face. Lily didn’t tell her who the werewolf was. That was something Remus had to agree with first.
As Charlie took in the information, she cast a questioning gander at Remus before asking, “What happened to you?”
Instead of Remus answering, James took a deep breath and said, “Well, there’s a lot to this side of the story.” He paused and looked at Remus, who gave him a stiff nod. With a glance at Madam Pomfrey’s closed office, he began.
“First of all, Charlie, Remus is a werewolf.” Charlie’s mouth dropped open a bit. “And yes, he attacked Lily. When he was little, his dad had done or said something to upset a man named Fenrir Greyback. Greyback just happened to be a werewolf, and in order to get back at Mr. Lupin, he lured Remus in to the woods behind his house and bit him. Mr. and Mrs. Lupin tried everything they could to help him, but there’s no cure.” James smirked and caught Sirius’ eye. “That was until he met us.”
Now Lily was confused and wary. What on earth could they, mere eleven year olds, have done that the most experienced and highly educated witches and wizards couldn’t?
James continued. “We”Sirius, Peter, and I”discovered Remus’ secret at the end of first year. We vowed to find some way to help him out. We searched high and low, and many may think that we’ve never stepped foot into the library, but that’s practically where we lived.
“Eventually we did find that only one thing could at least calm werewolves. So, Sirius, Peter, and I… became Animagi.”
Lily instantly pounced at them. “What?! That’s extremely dangerous and you could have really done serious”not pun intended”damage to yourselves! There are only a handful of people in the world that can do that! I’ve checked the lists at the ministry when McGonagall discussed them in class, and not one of you was registered! If you were Animagi, you’d have to get permission”“
James cut her off. “If you wanted to do it legally.”
Lily just stared at him as best she could and gaped.
He carried on, his eyes not leaving Lily’s. “We did it in secret, not even Dumbledore knew, and he still doesn’t. We finished by fifth year. Peter’s a rat, Sirius is a dog, and I’m a stag.”
Lily blinked in surprise. So the dog and the stag from the night before were actually Sirius and James? They rescued her? Wow.
“We made nicknames for ourselves: Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs. Every full moon, we would wait until Pomfrey came back, then we would join Remus. It took a while for him to get used to us, but soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school, grounds, Hogsmeade, and the Forbidden Forest.”
Lily was horrified. “What?” she snapped again in disbelief. “You led him away from confinement? Don’t you realize what could have happened? I’m not so much worried about one of you three getting hurt, but what if it was somebody else? What if it was somebody that had nothing to do with any of it? Remus would be exposed, as well as the fact that you three had made a major violation to the law! You could be sent to Azkaban and Dumbledore would be forever ashamed and disappointed in all of you!”
“I worry about that every day,” Remus suddenly croaked.
“Well, obviously you don’t worry about it enough!”
“Lily,” James said in a warning tone.
Lily growled deep in her throat and glared at him. She turned her head the other way.
She heard James sigh. “Well, you both know now. Remus, Sirius, Peter, and I are trusting you not to tell anybody.” Lily could feel his eyes on her as he emphasized the last word. “If you do, well, Lily explained he consequences well enough.”
Madam Pomfrey burst out of her office. “Time’s up! My patients need to eat dinner and rest! Out!”
James, Sirius, and Peter all said goodbye to Remus while Charlie took a deep breath and promised she’d be back in the morning.
Later that night, Lily lie awake, staring out the window that was right across from her bed. She could hear Remus’ steady breathing, indicating he had fallen asleep. Madam Pomfrey had gone to bed as well, just after she checked over Lily and Remus once more. Both would have to stay through the weekend, meaning they wouldn’t be able to go on the Halloween Hogsmeade trip. This really bothered Lily; she was going to start buying Christmas presents.
Reflecting, Lily thought how just four days ago she and Charlie had decided to try to befriend the troublesome four. In class they would sit around each other, although Lily and Charlie had to move closer to the back because the boys, namely James and Sirius, wouldn’t go anywhere near the front. She grinned at the memory of how terrified their faces had looked at the prospect of having to sit closer to the teacher.
She wondered if they could make this work. It was just the four boys that were included in their group of friends, but now Charlie and Lily had been added. The four would just kind of shut everyone out, like all they needed was each other.
Lily had her circle of close friends, but Charlie was her best friend.
Charlie’s short brown hair fans away from her face and her chocolate brown eyes could make you squirm if held under their gaze long enough. They always seemed to be able to see straight through you, able to read your soul and emotions like a book. Sometimes Lily would question whether Charlie was a Legilimens, but Charlie would just laugh and say, “Some things you can do without being taught how to magically.”
Charlie was acting different lately. Charlie was always one to be outspoken, telling you exactly what was on her mind. Despite Lily’s influence, Charlie has gotten into a few good scuffles and proudly come out the winner. She’d had her share of detentions, but nothing compared to James and Sirius. Surprisingly to Lily, Charlie was deathly afraid of heights. Opposing her Tomboy attitude, she would not have anything to do with Quidditch.
But lately Charlie’s been more subdued. Lily had caught her spacing off in class, but when asked what was wrong, Charlie wouldn’t say a thing. Of course Lily realized she had no business pressing the matter, for she hadn’t told Charlie she was planning on leaving next spring yet either.
Lily was brought out of her thoughts by the hospital wing doors opening slightly, and then shutting. In the dark she couldn’t see, but she heard quiet and slow footsteps make their way over to her bed. When he was close enough, she saw vaguely that the visitor was James. He sat on the floor next to her bed. Lily could tell he would be here for a while otherwise he would have kneeled.
“Hey,” he greeted. Lily turned her head away. She was still miffed about earlier. He sighed. “I know you don’t think we made the right decision by becoming Animagi.” Lily grunted her agreement. “Could you at least look at me?”
“We may have called a truce, James, but that doesn’t mean I have to like you right now,” Lily said quietly, but she turned her head nevertheless.
“I know.” He paused, and then continued, “We worked so hard on it, Lily. Sirius and I, every spare minute we got we used it to work on transfiguring ourselves. We had to help Peter. He makes up for his thick-headedness with his loyalty. He’s a good guy; people just don’t give him a chance to show it. Anyway, like I said, we poured over books that would aid us in our progress. Remus was always so down and out, and we really wanted to show him that he wasn’t so different. It bothered me that he had the idea he would never have life at all. No girls would date him. I felt like it was my duty as his friend to make him feel more… I don’t know, worth it.”
The entire time he was saying this he stared at his hands that played with the material on the bed. He seemed embarrassed but determined to say this, to convince her he wasn’t stupid.
“When we’re transformed… I can’t even begin to express how it feels. It’s like… the whole world disappears, and all of your stresses and worries just fade away. You feel reborn… kind of like a baby phoenix on its burning day. You’re still you… just not you. For that one night a month, you feel like you just… exist. And for Remus, he feels closer to us, closer to being normal.”
He looked up at Lily, and she could see it was hard for him to delve into his deepest emotions and try to put them into words for her. His hazel eyes bored into her emerald ones, looking for a trace of understanding. Suddenly he reached out and grabbed her hand.
“Maybe we’re idiots, but we have the best intentions at heart. We wanted to do something good for someone, make them fit in. That’s why we did it, and that’s why we continue to do it. Please believe me, Lily.” He gave her hand a gentle squeeze of desperation.
Inwardly, Lily was caught dumb with shock by how heartfelt James was for his friends. It was so uncharacteristic, nothing like him. She wondered why he felt he needed to prove to her that he wasn’t some narrow-minded prat. To keep on her good side? Maybe. Maybe he wanted to make sure that the friendship they had been developing didn’t crumble to ash.
She squeezed back and whispered, “I believe you. I don’t approve, but I believe you.”
James smiled in relief and leaned forward, then stopped and blinked. Straightening, he sighed, gave her hand one more squeeze, and then let go. He stood, appearing distracted, and started to walk away.
“Goodnight, James,” Lily called softly.
He paused mid-step. Looking over his shoulder, he replied, “’Night, Lily.” His voice was low and tinged with intimacy, sending a chill up Lily’s spine.
That night she slept restlessly, her dreams invaded with scenarios of almost kissing James Potter.