It had been almost two weeks since the end of the school year. Tonks rarely had enough time to do anything except eat, sleep, guard the Dursleys, and chase Dark wizards. Eleven raids had occurred in the days following the Order meeting and she had been present at nine. Not only was she busy keeping her job, but she was also using all of her free time hiding in bushes under Harry’s window. She was completely exhausted.
Everyday she got home around twelve, magicked a dinner into her hands and was asleep by twelve-thirty, only to wake up the next morning around six.
After a surprisingly unexhausting day, she arrived home just after dark. Since the office wasn’t busy, Rufus Scrimgeour, Head of Auror Office, had let her off early. She flopped down on her lumpy couch and was surprised to find a carefully-folded note lying on the disheveled table in front of her.
She cautiously reached out her wand and tapped the note while muttering a counter-jinx. After nothing happened, she picked it up. It was blank on the outside and she was expecting it to spontaneously explode any second, but it didn’t. She opened it slowly and saw the loopy handwriting of Remus Lupin.
Dear Nymphadora,
I was thinking about something you said to me a while ago and was wondering if you could explain it to me over lunch tomorrow. Two o’clock at Jeremiah’s? The owl will wait for your answer.
Sincerely,
Remus Lupin
Was Remus Lupin asking her on a date? Or was that not the idea at all and he really did want to speak with her about what she’d said. Surely not the former; and in fact, what had it been that she’d said? It must have pertained to Sirius. Fantastic, this is going to be a pleasant encounter, she thought grimly.
She glanced back down at the note with the intent of writing a reply but instead noticed the name.
Curses, why can’t he remember that I would prefer to be called by my surname!
She sighed and ripped the bottom of the parchment off.
See you at two o’clock!
Tonks
She attached the parchment to the patiently waiting owl and watched as it soared off into the sky. Grumbling, she shuffled into her kitchen and pulled an old chicken and ham pie from the refrigerator. She examined the dish hastily, not noticing the patches of white forming in the corners until it was too late; she gagged as she took a bite of the moldy concoction. She spluttered, “Evanesco“ and the dish was gone.
The next day she woke up suddenly and found that it was already one o’clock. She had stayed up late the night before attempting to organize her small flat. It had seemed as if she’d accomplished quite a bit but when she looked around, nothing much seemed to have changed about the paraphernalia scattered about the floor. She ambled into the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to lunch.
She glanced at the mirror and noticed her hair was a vibrant purple. When did that happen? She flipped the shower on and walked out to her bureau to grab a pair of pants and shirt. She threw the lime green Zonko’s t-shirt onto her bed along with her most comfortable jeans before walking back into the bathroom. She checked the water temperature and found it perfectly hot. She stripped her clothes off and stepped warily into the jets of steaming water.
I hope this turns out well. I could be overanalyzing this whole thing and it could be that Remus wants to talk about something I mentioned about the office. Why are you doing this Tonks, why do you care? It’s only lunch with Remus… only lunch….
She shook the thoughts out of her head and turned the shower off. She peeked out of the curtain and saw that it was already 1:45. She leaped out of the shower, hurriedly dried herself off and threw her clothes on. She ran back into the bathroom, stubbing her toe on the corner of a book on the way, and looked directly into the mirror.
“What color will we be today? Blue sounds nice.” She scrunched up her face in deep concentration and suddenly her bright purple hair turned into short, turquoise spikes. “Very good.” She grinned at her reflection and bounced out of her house.
She arrived five minutes early to Jeremiah’s Wizard Cuisine, only to find that Remus had still beaten her there.
“Just how long have you been here?” She asked mockingly.
“Oh, about five minutes,” he answered as he glanced down at his shining, silver watch. He look excessively tired and ragged and her insides churned when she thought about the pain he must have recently been in.
She grinned back at him and suggested that they order. Each picked up a menu and when a waitress with tight blonde curls came over to take their orders Tonks went first.
“I’d like the meat pie and a side order of potatoes,” Tonks asked. “Oh, a cup of tea as well.”
Remus folded his menu and handed to the waitress, “I’ll have the same.” He grinned and the waitress was gone.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Tonks suddenly spoke.
“What was it that I said?”
Remus rubbed his mouth and said, “I wanted you to know that you aren’t in this alone.”
“Technically, that’s not something I said. What do you mean by that?”
He leaned back in his chair and answered, “I mean to say I’m here for you. I’ve just lost my last remaining friend. The last thing I had love for. My family is gone, my other best friend has gone, and the other is a traitor. Sirius was all I had left and now there’s nothing. And there must be twenty times that pain for you.”
“Why more for me? You grew up with him, you were with him until the end. I was just there for the two years leading up to it. I hardly remember the times I was with him before he was in Azkaban. You remember the ten years leading up to that. Remus, I’ve got nothing on you.”
He put his head in his hands and groaned. As he rubbed his face he mumbled, “I don’t know where I’m going, Tonks. I’ve got nothing else except the Order and my few Galleons an hour from scrubbing the floors at the pub.”
She reached over and firmly grasped his hand, “Don’t say that Remus. You’ve got plenty. You managed those twelve years while Sirius was in Azkaban, and all those years you didn’t…” She hesitated as she hoped Remus would pick up on what she was saying. “I wasn’t around then, and dammit Remus, I’m the one that needs to be here for you, not the other way round! I can get along just fine, thanks very much!”
He pulled his hand out of hers and glanced around to make no one was startled by Tonks’ increasingly raising voice. “Nymphadora…”
She started at him sternly, “Don’t you dare try to intimidate me by using my first name! I won’t fall for it!”
Their dishes arrived, brought by a surprised looking waitress who hastily put the food down and walked away quickly.
“Look at what you’ve gone and done, Nymphadora! Scared the poor waitress to death,” Remus said teasingly. Tonks gave him a dirty look and crossed her arms stubbornly.
They ate their food in an angry silence before hastily paying the bill. Tonks went to get up but Remus grabbed onto her hand.
“Tonks, stop it. You know your first name isn’t that big a deal.”
“You obviously don’t get it. Lupin, let go of me,” she said maliciously, before storming out of the restaurant. Remus sighed and followed her.
“Why are all women so damn confusing?” he muttered as he pushed the heavy wooden door closed.
Once Tonks had arrived home, she walked straight into her bedroom and slammed the door. No man with any morals would walk into a woman’s room uninvited, she thought to herself with a grin of satisfaction. She didn’t even know why she had gotten so mad. Maybe she had been trying to hint at something that wasn’t there for him. Maybe to him their relationship was completely platonic. Maybe she was falling for a man she shouldn’t have anything to do with.
She heard her front door open and Remus call out her name. She sat stubbornly on her bed and waited for the knock on her door. Sure enough it came. She didn’t answer.
“Come on Nymphadora, let’s talk about this,” he pleaded with her. She didn’t move.
“Tonks, come on,” he whispered. She slowly stood up and walked over to the door.
“What?” she asked stonily.
He let out an exasperated laugh and attempted to open the door. “Tonks, come on. We can’t speak with each other through a door.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Tonks, stop being so immature and open the door.” To his great satisfaction the bait worked and the door flew open.
“I am NOT immature, Remus Lupin! I am anything but immature!” She shouted. As she noticed the look on his face she calmed. “What do you want to say?” She walked over and sat stiffly on the couch. Remus followed and sat down next to her.
“Tonks, come on now, we can’t keep doing this,” he said quietly.
“Doing what, Remus? Either having a row or pretending to be happy every time we see each other? Think you’re the only one tired of it? You’re wrong.”
“Why do we row, Tonks? It’s always over something that doesn’t matter.”
“I don’t bloody care about my first name! I don’t care!” Anger flaring, she stood up quickly.
“Then why do we do this?” he asked her in a pleading voice as he looked up into her face.
She stared at him with disbelief, “I thought you were an intelligent man, Remus, and if you can’t even figure it out then I must have been wrong,” she snapped. She stalked angrily back off to her bedroom.
Remus stared after her in disbelief. Why have I got to be so damned ignorant. I just won’t admit it. I can’t say it. The product could be much too painful for both of us. Remus put his face in his hands and sighed.
What am I going to do? I’m killing her and I know it. I’m causing her more pain by pretending I don’t want her.
Remus walked over to the small writing desk in the corner and found what he needed.
Nymphadora,
Sorry about everything. We can continue this conversation later. You know where to find me.
With the utmost care,
Remus
He folded the note just as he had before, but this time he walked over to her door and slipped it quickly underneath. He waited until he heard her light footsteps before he turned and left her flat.
As Tonks studied a crack in the ceiling, she heard the sound of paper sliding across wood.
She got out of her bed and walked carefully over to get the note. She heard the creak of a floorboard as Remus walked away, and the shutting of the door as he left.
She opened the note and read through it. I know where to find him? I guess that means he’ll be at his place or Headquarters.
She tossed the note carelessly on the floor and went over to her bed once again.
Continue the conversation my arse. That wasn’t a conversation, it was a row, she thought crossly.
Should she go and find him? What would happen if she did? Could she handle it?
It had begun to rain and Tonks’ clothes were soaked through by the time she arrived at Remus’ front step. He lived in a small house right outside of Hogsmeade. She knocked quietly on his door and he opened it a few moments later. He had a drawn look on his face, and she noticed that when he saw her, his eyes opened a bit wider and a sparkle appeared in them.
She stood on the threshold looking straight at him. He let his hand fall limply from the doorknob to his side. They stood staring at each other for minutes before Remus rushed forward and hugged her fiercely. She reacted by wrapping her small arms around his middle. They pulled apart and looked at each other sheepishly.
“I’m sorry.”