A/N: I had to up the rating on this one. I decided that in order for me to accurately portray the characters, it was necessary. I hope you like it! Also, every author loves to know what their (lovely) readers think about their work! ;)! I'm swamped in exams still *sigh*, but an update should be coming soon...
Disclaimer: If I were J.K. Rowling, I would be writing the seventh book or taking care of three children... but that's not the case, so read away!
James Potter slid open the compartment door and waltzed in, finally sitting himself across from Sirius with his typical smirk plastered onto his face. “So, mate, are you ready for some crazy adventure?” Sirius questioned with a cocky grin.
James contemplated the inquiry for a few seconds and replied, “Well, there’s still a good week until the full moon. Can you wait that long?”
“Why wait? Lupin will be busy with Prefect’s duties, so he won’t be around to chaperone us and give us any lectures. It’s the ideal opportunity! We can finally blow up Moaning Myrtle’s toilet, eat in the kitchens at all hours, and sneak into Hogsmeade for some Dungbombs!” Sirius obviously was a tad bit excited about the prospects for the year.
“Well, where’s Peter? I think he’d want to be in on this.” James always had to look out for Peter. He needed lots of help… with everything from coordinating outfits to doing his homework. He wasn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box.
“I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t even really care! I’m just glad that for once he’s not busy kissing your arse!”
“Now, Padfoot, that’s not fair! It’s not MY fault that my bum seems so appealing to so many people!”
“Yeah, true, but that Lily Evans seems immune to your bum’s charms. In fact, I think she thinks you are an arse. Wait, that or you should shove something up your arse!” Sirius said, batting his eyelashes coquettishly.
“Ha…Ha… Ha… NOT FUNNY! No, I think that deep, deep down, in the depths of her soul, Lily Evans loves me with a love so pure and desperate that she has to put on this ridiculous façade of hatred to keep herself from jumping my bones. Seriously, where would we be if that happened? We’d never get that deep connection that she longs for so desperately.”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, and smartly replied, “Oh, of course she does. She just doesn’t know it yet!”
James, seeming to think that Sirius finally grasped the concept while remaining oblivious to Sirius’s biting sarcasm, exclaimed, “EXACTLY!”
Sirius began laughing heartily at his friend’s obvious delusions when he caught a glimpse of light reflecting off of long, flowing red-hair. His eyes bugged out of their sockets, and he shot James a meaningful look as if to say, “SHUT UP NOW!” However, James remained in the dark and continued to rant. “In five years, when we have three children, who all look as gorgeous as me, and she’s making me dinner in our kitchen while I lounge around reading the Daily Prophet, she’ll appreciate me. As she looks around the dinner table and sees our red-headed offspring, then, only then, will Lily Evans begin to explore the unfathomable depths of her true attraction to me.”
Suddenly, the silence that had followed his brief soliloquy was filled with raucous laughter that seemed nothing short of loud and mocking, all coming from a short, fiery little red-head whose face now matched her hair. Grasping her side while she tried to catch her breath, she looked up at James, her eyes filled with tears from laughing so boisterously. “Oh, Potter, you wish that I would fall for you so badly, don’t you? However, I regret to inform that I appear to be the only girl at Hogwarts with a good head full of sense on my shoulders. Thank Merlin I was born immune to your childish egotism and unruly hair. While most girls may find that irresistible, I find it rather… hmmm… nauseating.”
“What, do I make you love-sick, dear? You know when you said ‘nauseating,’ what you really meant to say was, ‘undeniably enticing’,” James replied, smiling sweetly, strategically tousling his hair.
Lily innocently snapped, “Oh, look at Narcissus worshipping himself in his self-erected temple, yet again. Shocker!”
James gave her a confused look and dumbly stated, “I am not! Wait, what does that mean?”
Losing her patience with James, Lily exclaimed, “Look it up you troglodytic MORON!”
Barks of laughter and pure glee erupted from Sirius’s side of the compartment. This was just too much entertainment for him to bear in silence. At that moment, Lupin entered the compartment. Lily turned and noted his presence saying, “I came by to get you to see if you wanted to discuss our patrolling schedule, but then I ran into these imbeciles and just couldn’t contain my joy any longer, so we had a little chat. Isn’t that how it went, James?”
“Right, sure, one of the best conversations I’ve ever had,” James arrogantly retorted, trying to regain some of his lost pride.
“Mm hm. Well, I’d best be off. Remus, if you’d like to accompany me, we can nail out our schedule for the next few weeks. I’ll see you clowns later,” she said glancing at Sirius and James.
“Always a pleasure, Miss E.!” Sirius harmoniously countered. Remus and Lily then left the compartment. Lupin shot them a pleading glance as if to apologize for the assault they had just endured and to say he’d be back shortly.
“Seriously, where is Peter?” James cried exasperatedly.
Sirius studied James for a second. “Why? Looking for an ego-boost after Evans verbally beat you to a pulp?”
As if on cue, Peter stumbled into the compartment, tripping on his trainers’ laces. Red-faced and gasping for air, he wheezed, “Hey. Sorry I’m late. Snape cornered me, and I didn’t know what to do, so I tried to hex him. That didn’t go to well.” Right then, five humongous bubbles erupted from his right ear, shooting at James.
“I guess that explains your bubbly personality today!” Sirius condescendingly sniggered. James shot him an evil glare.
“What did he try to do to you?” James asked concernedly.
Peter ashamedly examined his hands lying in his lap. “WELL, WHAT?!” Sirius growled. Peter looked up, still not meeting their inquiring eyes, and went on, mumbling, to tell his tale…