A parody of the work of Clement Clarke Moore
Not a soul was stirring ... but wait “ Whence come these strange foot falls?
No, it was not Peeves, the poltergeist floated by without a care,
Far greater mischief awaits in the shadows, somewhere out there;
These children ought to be nestled in their beds,
But visions of pranks danced in their naughty little heads;
“Coast is clear, Gred.”
“Onwards we go then Forge.”
“Hold on, someone’s heading this way “”
Unaware that these mischievous twosome had set a trap.
He walked past the barrier and disappeared from sight.
At this, those pranksters’ eyes twinkled with delight.
The invisible Headmaster continued to whistle merrily,
Only his purple socks could be seen, it moved about eerily.
“Christmas socks, down from the list.”
“On to the next?”
“Brother, you know me too well.”
“As I should.”
Despite the darkness; they dared not set their wands a-glow.
Hence who should suddenly appear...
The half-giant that Hogwarts hold dear,
With only a single spell or maybe two,
Upon his forehead was a bright reindeer tattoo.
Into the shadows, they slipped away.
Into one of their secret passageway
“That’s a pretty lame reindeer, Gred.”
“Well Forge, I don’t see you doing anything. That’s all I could think for the last minute.
“Then dear brother of mine, we ought to plan our next prank well.”
To him, they performed this deed without a name;
With him, they shared neither admiration nor respect
All feared this man, even those know-it-all prefects.
On this night however, they felt neither fear nor remorse,
For they have plans and bigger thing to set to course.
His ears they lengthened, his skin they turned wrinkly green,
Without a doubt, Severus Snape was the ugliest goblin they had ever seen.
“I think he looks a lot better, now.”
“Brother you astound me and I wonder where you placed your head.”
“Why do you say that, my stalwart partner-in-crime?”
“It’s the Christmas season not Halloween, my slow one.”
“Have you not heard of Santa’s elves, sibling-of-mine?”
“Elf? He does not look like one.”
“It’s not my fault that Snape’s one ugly git.”
“Truer words were never spoken; I apologize for being too critical.”
“Never apologize my friend; I always value your opinion.”
Who should they see next, but Filch of course.
A flick of a wand was all that they needed,
A angry chipmunk was the result of this deed.
“A chipmunk? You transfigured Filch into a chipmunk?”
“Have you not heard of that Christmas song: Chipmunks roasting on an open fire...”
“That’s chestnuts, you mule-eared moron.”
“Oh ... All these years, I had wondered why Muggles would eat chipmunks for Christmas.”
“Hey, where did Filch go?”
“I think Mrs. Norris got him.”
“What?!? Why didn’t you say so earlier?”
“Don’t blame me, you only asked - now.”
“Why me?”
“Because someone has to?”
“Good come back, brother.”
“But of course.”
A funny-looking nut cracker now sat.
“Any reason for that choice, Gred?”
“I always do believe those two belong to the nuthouse, Forge.”
They sought a professor who was not so tall.
He who taught them to make feathers fly,
Flitwick was indeed a very small guy.
On their brooms they noiselessly flew,
Soaring into the clouds and down a chimney too.
They surveyed one another from head to foot,
Their clothes all tarnished with ashes and soot;
Their eyes twinkled, the brothers snickered merrily
They whispered and plot, ever so quietly
“What now?”
“Turn him into a bunny and surround him with colourful eggs?”
“That’s Easter you bloody git. Our theme is Christmas.”
Brothers contemplated on the trouble they had sowed;
They’ve decided to give him a little round belly,
It was made from mounds and mounds of jelly.
Red jelly, they set aside and made him a suit,
And black ones for sticky and gooey black boots.
“Great work Forge!”
”But of course Gred. Now that the list is complete. Let’s head back to our humble retreat.”
On their way back, the brothers met a sight they dread.
The Deputy Headmistress stood by the door,
To these two prankster, she would be settling a score.
“What have you two got to say for yourselves?”
“Professor McGonagall “ It’s Christmas.”
Gestured for them to go on up the staircase.
Both blinked, unable to believe this rare treat;
This made tonight’s activities all the more sweet.
Caught they were, yet left unpunished.
This will be a memory that they would cherish.
Their voices echoed as they ran out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."