You know it, I don't own it.
Chapter 1: Death In The Family.
“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, I know having a…a girl there will be better but well…” Draco looked at her questioningly. “You didn’t ask for this,” he added, more as an afterthought.
“Since when do you care for what I want?” She felt anger flare in her for just a moment. “Just lead the way, you annoying, twitching, little...” She quickly stopped, not uttering the name the fake Professor Moody had provided them with in their fourth year. “Sorry Malfoy, I mean Draco, I…” Again she stopped, for once not knowing what to say. Finally she looked Draco straight in the eye and sighed. “No, I didn’t ask for this, but I want to help.”
“Thank you.” Hermione could hardly believe she had heard something so un-Malfoy like come out of his mouth, again. She just gave him a small smile and motioned for him to lead the way.
Draco
The last two months have been very strange for me. I had never expected that I, Draco Malfoy, would participate in the things I participated in. I never expected to become the person I am today, nor that I would live this life. I would have hated everything about this just a little while ago.
Strange how something you believe in, a life you live because that is the way your heart desires it; can change so quickly. I remember every little detail about these past months. But I remember the beginning the best.
It was a simple note my father wrote to me. Sitting at my House table of Slytherin, eating breakfast, our eagle owl brought me his note. Even before I had read the note, I became wary. Our owl hardly ever brought me notes. Candy or some potion or other artefact usually, yes, but never a written word. Communicating in this fashion was considered too dangerous and my family therefore never used it. But there it was, nonetheless, a note from my father, telling me to come home after taking my NEWTs, which were almost over by then. It said that my mother had passed away, and that I was expected to be at Malfoy Manor to attend her funeral and, of course, the much more important reception afterwards.
I did not want to go; I never really had any love for her, Narcissa. She was my father’s wife and my mother. Nothing more, nothing less. I hardly even knew anything about her. However, I could not and would not ignore a direct order from my father, even if it had arrived in a manner I found difficult to understand. So a few days later I went, not knowing where it would lead, not expecting anything spectacular to happen. Certainly not expecting anything other than meeting with my father’s friends; perhaps setting up a few ‘connections’ of my own.
The good thing about arriving at Malfoy Manor on that warm Friday morning at the end of June would be seeing my father again. I proceeded through the black doors into the hall, feeling the cold my home offered me. Cold in a good sense, somehow.
My father was standing on the last step of the marble staircase leading from the grand entrance hall up to the first floor. I slowly walked up to Lucius, tall, regal and aristocratic looking. He greeted me in his usual manner, not showing any emotion, no insight to whatever was on his mind. He always had been a true Slytherin in that sense, and it made me feel a sense of pride to see him like that, surrounded by all the splendour that Malfoy Manor had to offer; it made me proud I was his son.
I wanted to be like Lucius, I had known that for a long time. I wanted to be so much like him that I was at that point even letting my hair grow longer. I wanted to be like him because this man had taught me everything about the Dark Side and his Dark Lord. He wanted me to become a Death Eater, and I, let's just say that I wanted to make him proud. But it was not just making him proud, I wanted to serve the Dark Lord and rid this world of the filth that we had to share it with. I would receive the Dark Mark willingly a fortnight from this day, serve my lord proudly and uphold the name of Malfoy.
I felt like it would all start that day, at the funeral, showing my father that I would uphold his name, uphold my Slytherin side and the Dark Side I wished to serve, simply by behaving in the appropriate manner everybody expected of me. I felt like my life was embarking on a new path and it was, just not the path I expected, anyone expected.
“Draco.” Always with that drawl. “You have arrived. I expect you to be in the library on the first floor in two hours.” He looked down on me, even if he was hardly taller than me anymore.
“Yes, Father.”
When I passed by him he put his hand on my shoulder. I was surprised by this; he never did anything like this unless it was important. I turned to look at him again; surprise at his touch was probably evident in my eyes, even if I tried to hide it. I wanted to be like him, but I was no Lucius yet.
“Oh, it seems your mother left something for you.” A slight emotion came over his face. It was one of the few that a Slytherin would allow themselves; dislike.
“What is it, Father?” Whatever it was, I was sure that I didn’t have any interest in it. But again, I wouldn’t ignore my father and he had mentioned it.
“Some letter.” Another look of dislike flitted across his face. “I don’t think there will be anything of interest written in it.”
Lucius inclined his head towards me. There had been no other emotions in our conversation than the two moments of dislike, but it was clear to me. If there was something of interest I should notify him of the matter. I walked up the stairs to the second floor. A walk through the darkened corridor, the paintings of other Malfoys following my every move like always, I finally reached my room and there on my desk was indeed a letter from Narcissa.
My room was on the East side of the Manor and the morning sun was streaming in through the windows, lighting up the whole room. Blinking against the sudden light after the dark corridor, I took the letter from the large mahogany desk and sat down on my bed. I pushed the green and silver pillows aside and proceeded to open the letter, the magic in it evident.
The first thing I noticed was that Narcissa had not used the Malfoy seal; I was surprised to see the Black crest. The surprise changed to curiosity when I recognised the magic I had felt was actually located in the Black crest she had used to seal it, it seemed only I was able to open the letter and read its contents. It made sense to me now why my father wanted to know the contents, why he had even bothered to mention it; he had not been able to read it. In doing so Narcissa had kept something from him and no one ever kept a secret from Lucius Malfoy.
Curiosity, careful curiosity, carefulness slowly took over.
I read the letter with a careful distance, like the distance I had always kept between unknown magic and myself, between Narcissa and myself. But the more I read, the more I was pulled into her letter, her life. It was that letter that started everything, that day was indeed the beginning of all the changes, although I did not know where it would lead me. I did not, even then, realise what her words would mean to me.
I read the words she had written several times before realising I should change for the funeral. People would be arriving soon, and it would be inappropriate for me to not be there, pretending to be the loving, and mourning, son. Upholding the name of Malfoy, with another fake mask carefully placed over my face. I carefully put the letter away and walked over to my closet. I changed to all black, and in a moment of sadness, put a silver serpent bracelet around my wrist, a gift my mother had given me for my birthday three years ago, a gift I now understood better; I was ready to face everybody, even Lucius.
I went down one floor and walked into the library and to my father's side. He raised one brow in question. I simply shook my head, telling him that ‘no, of course there had been nothing of interest in that letter, just the sloppy stuff that Narcissa was capable of.’ By the smirk that followed I could see his thoughts, if only for a second. He believed there was nothing in that letter, in his mind Narcissa was too senseless to write something that could change anything. It did, however, change something in me. It seemed that Narcissa was capable of something after all, of changing something. For the first time in my life I did not follow my father’s order. I did not intend to let Lucius know anything about the letter. I took my place beside him and simply stood there. I stood there, sadly wondering if I ever would be the mourning son I pretended to be at that moment.
In a daze, I left the library two hours later. Lucius had told me to go back to Hogwarts and I did. I walked up to my room, picked up the letter from where I had hidden it and walked out the front door. I took a look around me, taking in the splendour of Malfoy Manor, and the gardens surrounding it, wondering when I would be back again. I Apparated to the edge of the Hogwarts' grounds. It was probably around 1:30 pm when I walked up to the front doors, intending to go to my dormitory. The only thing I wanted was solitude and that letter. For the first time in my life I wanted to be alone with my mother.
I didn’t look where I was going and that was when I walked into her. The touch of the bushy frizz of her hair on my hand was enough to let me know who it was. Another one of those things that changed that first day. Not that I wanted her to.
“Watch where you’re going, Mudblood!” I tried to glare at Granger as I was standing up again, but I guess I was too preoccupied with that letter. It must have shown on my face that something was amiss; my mask must have slipped, because instead of a retort she looked at me questioningly.
“Are you all right?” I knew I had to get away when she asked that question.
“Fine, Granger,” I muttered, and I walked off to the dungeons. I wanted my solitude and I didn’t pay her any attention anymore, I should have but didn’t think her worthy of it. It wasn’t until I was up in my dormitory that I found out that the letter was gone, it was obvious where I had lost it. I could have killed myself, because now it was for anybody to read. I ran back to the Entrance Hall and saw Granger still standing there, holding my letter, reading it. Like I had feared, the magic protecting it from my father’s eyes was broken now that I had read it.
“That’s personal, Granger! Accio letter!” This time I had no trouble glaring at her but I was not ready for her response. It sounded so sincere…even if it was an order.
“Follow me, Malfoy.” She looked at me with concern written all over her face.
“I don’t follow orders from a Mudblood like you, Granger.” I gave her the famous Malfoy smirk and was ready to turn back to my dormitory.
She gave me an appraising look and simply stated, “I’m sorry for your loss, Malfoy, but it seems that you need to make an extremely important decision. Since you also seem to be in no condition to make any decision at all, I’m taking you to see the Headmaster.” As she turned away from me and walked up the staircase, I felt I had to follow.
To this day, I still do not know why I actually did follow her. Maybe it was the logic in her reasoning or the fact that she knew my secret. She was still a Mudblood, so why should I follow? I just did, I guess. She took me to Albus Dumbledore, my father’s enemy. Before she opened the door to his study for me, she grabbed my arm and looked me in the eye.
“I will keep your secret.” Her chocolate brown eyes were sincere.
“Thank you.” I was surprised by different things at that moment. By Hermione’s, or was it still Granger’s, honesty and my own gratitude, but even more so by Albus Dumbledore, who already seemed to know my predicament.
“Miss Granger, will you please join Mr. Malfoy and myself in this conversation. I think Mr. Malfoy can use all the help you can offer him. Since you are already aware of his situation this will, of course, include your silence.”
She took her hand off my arm and searched my face for any reaction, any emotion. I showed her none. Finally, I gave her a slight nod. We both settled in the chairs in front of Albus’ desk and I focussed my attention on him. It was an intense conversation that followed.
AN: My first and only Draco/Hermione fic. Let me know what you think of this chapter, cause a large part is still in the writing.
A big thank you to Hells, who was the first to read this and beta it for me.