**Sunday, the hospital wing
Well, I almost successfully poked Neville's eye out. I've apologized to him about a thousand times now...but I still feel bad. He keeps assuring me that he's fine, and that weirder things have happened to him...which is true now that I think of it. But still!
**THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH MY LIFE RIGHT NOW**
1.) I almost incapacitated Neville (again)
2.) Parvati is spreading nasty rumors about me
3.) Harry and Hagrid believe these rumors
4.) Harry and Hagrid are trying to convince RON to believe these rumors
5.) There is a possibility that Ron will leave me and Parvati will get a chance to move in on him
6.) I'm hungry again
7.) I haven't studied for my tests tomorrow yet
8.) I'm running out of ink
***Monday, Breakfast
Wow. I just got a nasty letter from Parvati.
Hermione,
You know, I don't even like Ron that much. I could land someone ten times better than him if I wanted to. But I'm going to steal him from you just to prove to you that I can, and just to make you realize how pathetic you really are. You're going to wish you never started this with me.
For a girl who writes in pink swirly handwriting, she can be pretty mean! What bothers me is I have no idea what suddenly posessed her to give me this angry note. I mean...after yesterday it would seem like she had the upper hand... Did something happen?
**Later, History of Magic
Well, something happened.
"Ron," I said as we were walking to class. "Parvati sent me this horrible note this morning! I don't know what pushed her to do it...I mean, I haven't done anything to her in a while! She's been the one doing things to me!"
"Uh..."
I gave him a look.
"I kind of told her that..." he paused. "I told her that I thought she was an ugly troll, was dumber than Goyle, and if I had the choice between going out with her and Neville, I'd pick Neville."
"So why then is she ME?" I demanded.
"Because...you're my girlfriend?"
"And you'd pick Neville?" I added as an afterthought.
"Well he is kind-of cute..."
I smacked him as we entered Binns' class.
Honestly!
**Lunch
Wonderful, now Harry is standing up for his darling Parvati. We just had an argument.
"You know, I don't know why you're so mean to her," he said to me.
"Because she's mean to me!"
"You can be downright cruel to her sometimes!" he came back. "She's a wonderful person."
"Tell me now Harry," I snapped. "Why do you think she's so concerned with my relationship with Ron? Why do you think she's trying to break us up?"
"She is NOT trying to break you up!"
"Do you really believe this?"
"Yes!" But his face said otherwise.
Somehow...somehow I'm going to let everyone know that Parvati's a lying, conniving, evil little demon child. But how?
**Later, the common room
On a lighter note, Fred and George just sent Ron one of their new products, Voice-enhancing Vanillas. They're these little hard candies that either make your voice incredibly loud, incredibly soft, incredibly deep, or incredibly high-pitched. Everyone was testing them out - even Harry had to join in on the fun.
"Hey guys, what's happening?" Neville asked in a shrill voice.
"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!" Seamus replied, whose voice had become magically magnified to seven times it's usual volume.
"Everything's all right," Ron added in his new, deep voice.
We spent the remainder of the evening messing around - UGH! Ron wants to write something and I'm tired of listening to him whine...hold on...
*ME IN HERMIONE'S JOURNAL*
by Ron Weasley
who is really hot
Hi I'm Ron and I'm really hot and I'm just so wickedly awesome and I'm a great Quidditch player and I'm writing a really really long sentence and Parvati's a troll and my brothers are weird and I'm kinda hungry and I'm running out of things to write and Hermione's a geek and this sentence is really long and I'm going to stop.
*END OF ME WRITING IN HERMIONE'S JOURNAL*
Wow, that was pointless. HE'S SO CUTE!
**Wednesday, breakfast
Parvati's spreading more wonderful rumors about me. I just love it, really I do. It really makes my day. Yesterday when McGonnagall was teaching us how to transfigure mushrooms into penguins, I just imagined that my mushroom was Parvati. Oh how I'd like to turn her into a penguin...but I couldn't. Besides, I like penguins.
So I turned her into a llama!
Just kidding...though I wish I wasn't.
**Later, Charms
Half the class thinks I'm disgusting. How, someone tell me, HOW is Parvati getting all these people to believe her?
**Dinner
Ron's the only one who will talk to me.
**Later
I hate everything.
**Thursday, Lunch
That's it! I want this war to END. Somehow, I've got to get everyone to stop believing Parvati! My first idea was to turn her into a monkey and mail her to Guam...but this might further the popular belief that I am a horrible person. And shoving her off the astronomy tower won't work either...
Somehow I'll get people to believe me.
And by the way, Neville's eye is much better.
**Thursday evening, the common room
Glee. I am dancing with glee. I AM DANCING WITH GLEE! I cannot remember the last time I've been so happy. I just ended the war.
I assume you'd like me to elaborate. So I will.
During dinner, Parvati started this especially terrible rumor about me and Ron...I'm not going to explain it here because I am happy right now and do not wish to think of anything that may take away from my joy. So of course, because this entire school is gossip crazy, the entire Gryffindor house knew about it by the time dinner was over. It was awful - when I walked into the common room, everyone was staring at me but no one would say anything. I felt the worst I have in a while.
For some reason, the evil one did not feel she had done enough damage, so she decided to make things worse.
"Hermione," she called to me, in front of...about everyone. "I've heard some interesting things."
"Yeah, you've said some interesting things," I said shortly.
"I'm just repeating what I heard."
I gave her a dangerous look.
"I think we need to talk," I said slowly.
"About what?"
"I think you know."
So then we left for a secluded part of the common room. At that point in time I was fighting off a really strong urge to conjure up some mashed potatoes and smash them in Parvati's ugly face...but I resisted the temptation.
"Look, we need to end this," I told her. "Neither of is getting anything out of this stupid fight."
"Oh but I am," she replied. "I love watching you squirm. I love making you miserable."
How evil is that?
"You need to stop spreading these rumors," I told her. "What've I ever done to you?"
"Nothing!" she said with a laugh.
"People believe you!"
"I know!" she snickered, popping a candy into her mouth. "IT'S NOT MY FAULT THIS SCHOOL'S DUMB ENOUGH TO BELIEVE ALL THE LIES I'VE BEEN TELLING THEM ABOUT YOU!"
She froze as she heard her voice echo throughout the common room. Horrified, she realized that she'd eaten a Voice-enhancing Vanilla. One that had magically magnified her voice to seven times it's normal volume.
"So all those things you told me about Hermione," Harry shouted at her from the other side of the room, "were lies? You've been lying to me?"
"I...I..." she stuttered.
"So what, you were just trying to get me mad at Hermione and Ron so I could mess up their relationship?" he continued, still yelling so that the entire common room could hear.
"But...that's not..."
"Why would you do something like that?" he exclaimed. "YOU'RE the evil one!"
The rest of the common room murmured in agreement.
"LET'S KILL HER!" someone burst.
"Um, no," I interrupted. "That's a little harsh..."
"All right then," the same person replied. "LET'S HUMILIATE HER!"
As tempting as this was, I had to say something. "Come on...let's just leave her alone, she's not worth the energy..."
Unfortunately, my strange plea to spare Parvati made the crowd angrier...now that I think of it, I have no idea why I tried to stop them. I'm really too nice to people. Anyway, this newly formed angry mob, led by Harry (he is SUCH a good friend sometimes) advanced on Parvati. Within minutes, the evil one was covered in florescent pink feathers and had a long, bushy tail.
I just sat back and laughed. It was amazing.
And then, to make things even better, Harry apologized.
"Hermione, I'm so sorry," he said to me. "I don't know what I was thinking...I mean, for some reason I just believed everything she was telling me...she made it so BELIEVABLE!"
"Don't worry about it," I assured him.
"And Ron, I'm sorry for fighting with you too," he went on, turning to Ron.
"Eh, who cares," Ron replied. "It's over mate."
So everything's good...for once.
A/N: There's going to be one more chapter, for some closure...no complaints please! This story has to end, otherwise the plot will go completely out the window and I'll just start rambling. Please review!