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Oh the Insanity - The Thoughts of Hermione Granger by Hermiones_Revenge

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A/N to mods: Hope I cleared up the confusion. Third time's the charm =;)

**Sunday, the common room, who cares what time it is

**THINGS THAT COULD POSSIBLY BE CAUSING PARVATI TO SMILE**

1.) She kissed Ron (I am cringing at this thought…CRINGING!)

2.) She could’ve just eaten a really good sandwich

3.) She’s trying to trick me

4.) She really did do or say something to Ron and now he is going to leave me for her and I will end up becoming the stereotypical creepy old lady who lives alone in a weird house with twelve cats and no friends.

5.) She just came up with something evil to do to me, or Ron, or both of us

6.) She just…won twenty galleons. Who knows? Maybe that’s it.

7.) She reached into her pocket and found a sickle or something that she forgot she had put there

8.) She is just smiling because she is evil, and evil makes her happy.

9.) She is about to do something evil

10.) She just did something evil

11.) She is in the process of doing something evil

12.) Something evil had happened, and she was taking pleasure in it

13.) She just had a random, unexplainable urge to smile that has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she just spent an hour locked in a room alone with Ron.

I’m going insane, but I refuse to let anyone know it. I’m just going to blurt out all of my insane thoughts in this journal, so I don’t end up blurting them to any poor soul.

She’s probably just trying to make me go crazy, and she’s doing a wonderful job, but I won’t let her know it. She probably just intentionally flashed that weird smile at me, to make me think that something happened that I wouldn’t want to happen. But…where’s Ron? Why didn’t he come back to the common room? If nothing happened, why didn’t Ron return?

I’m getting a headache.

***Five minutes later

I gave in. I had to talk to Parvati.

“How did your hour with Ron go?” I inquired.

“Fine,” she replied. “Wonderfully.”

“Oh?”

“We sat on opposite ends of the room, avoiding making eye contact,” she went on.

“But why then,” I asked, “are you smiling?”

She laughed coldly. “Obviously you haven’t been to the library lately.”

What is this supposed to mean? What’s in the library…besides books and Madam Pince? Maybe I should head over there…or maybe this is a trap!

Oh whatever. I’m going.

***Later (as you can see, I’ve given up on writing times for these entries)

Well, I found Ron at the library.

He was teaching Filch how to play shuffleboard!

Kidding.

Filch was teaching HIM how to play shuffleboard!

Kidding again.

He was magically glued to a shelf in the library, wearing a rather ugly pink dress!

Not kidding. Completely serious. Peeves had gotten angry with him. I’ll explain.

After coming out of McGonnagall’s office, Ron ran into Peeves and they got into an argument. Ron then started making fun of him, in front of a rather large crowd of people. Peeves, obviously, did not like this. He then chased Ron throughout the school and into the library.

Anyway Peeves did not like being publicly humiliated, so decided to take revenge (at first I thought maybe Parvati had asked him to do this, but then realized that Peeves would’ve never taken orders from her.) Being the creative poltergeist that he is, he tried something a bit unconventional and magically glued Ron to a shelf. Then, because he did not think shelf-gluing was enough, he magically zapped a pink dress onto Ron. Let me say, Peeves has no taste in clothing. That dress does NOTHING for his figure.

The minute I entered the library, I knew something had happened. It was pretty obvious, as there was an awfully large crowd gathered around the same shelf. Something, obviously had happened…either that, or a startling amount of people were all trying to check out the same book.

The minute I caught sight of Ron I laughed. And then I helped him out. (He wasn’t too thrilled by the laughing.)

So, Parvati was smiling because of number twelve on my list.

Poor Ron.

**Monday, History of Magic

Professor Binns is mumbling. I can’t understand a word he’s saying, so I’m not even bothering to attempt to take notes and instead am focusing on my next problem. Harry.

You see, we have a Hogsmeade trip this weekend and Ron and I really want to spend it together. Alone. Unfortunately, Harry does not understand this concept and will probably follow us around the whole time. I feel bad that we’re kind of ditching him…but if Ron and I don’t get to spend some time together without Harry breathing down our necks then I think I’ll loose it.

**POSSIBLE WAYS TO GET RID OF HARRY**

1.) Find someone else to keep him busy

2.) Make some excuse to get away

3.) Remind him that Ron and I need some…alone time. True, we’ve told him this two…three…seventy times, but he seems to forget.

4.) Have those mini flamingoes chase him away

5.) Convince him that he really doesn’t want to go to Hogsmeade

6.) Tell him that there’s a life threatening disease spreading through Hogsmeade and he shouldn’t go, but Ron and I have to because we volunteered to…I don’t know…do something…

7.) Tell him that we’re not going, but then go anyway…but that would be lying though…oh I hate having a conscience

8.) Convince him that…uh…I don’t know!

**RON’S LIST OF POSSIBLE WAYS TO GET RID OF HARRY**
Written in my journal with permission (of course, I wouldn’t let him read anything else)

1.) Tell him to go away

2.) Tell him that if he doesn’t go away, we’ll start snogging intensely to freak him out (I like this one)

3.) Get those mini flamingoes again

4.) Get Peeves to magically glue him to a shelf in a pink dress

5.) Glue him to a shelf in a pink dress ourselves

6.) Run like hell

Hopefully one of these will work…if not I’ll go crazy.

**Lunch

The strangest thing just happened.

Harry, Ron, and I were talking at lunch and all of a sudden, Harry says, “Oh, I need to talk to you two about this weekend’s Hogsmeade trip.”

I didn’t know where this was going.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he began, “but would it be all right if I spent the day with someone else?”

I thought I was having some sort of weird dream sequence. This was exactly what I needed “Yeah,” I replied, finally, “that’d be fine.”

“Good,” he went on. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind. Who knows? You might even get some alone time!”

This all seemed too good to be true. But what could be bad about it?

“Too bad,” Ron whispered to me. “I was looking forward to freaking him out with a snog session.”

A/N: Ooh what happens next? Bet you can't guess! (though you might know it has something to do with Parvati)Haha...sorry, weird night. Reviews are much appreciated, and suggestions are always welcome! Blah blah blah, read my other stories, blah blah The Secret Thoughts of Hermione Granger, blah blah, Hogwarts Overturned, blah, funny, blah, review, blah blah update coming somewhat soon!