James and Sirius were laughing at her. She didn’t know why. She was just standing there watching them play quidditch. They would not stop the obnoxious sounds.
“Stop it,” Lily whispered. She couldn’t seem to raise her voice above a whisper to shout at them. They landed, continuing their laughter. James poked her in the forehead with his broomstick. Sirius’ laugh turned maniacal, cold and high as his body twisted and morphed in front of her. Lily’s feet were moulded into the floor; she couldn’t run as Lord Voldemort turned his wand on her.
“Time to play, Lily,” he said. James was still cackling and poking his broom at her.
“Stop it,” she tried to yell.
“Lily, join him,” James urged her, still poking. “C’mon, Lily, join him. Lily! Lily, Lily…”
“No!” she shouted in her eerily toned down voice.
“Lily! Lily!”
Lily’s head tossed side to side as she fought to regain consciousness.
“Lily, wake up!” a faint voice called.
Her eyes opened. She raised herself on one elbow and rubbed her eyes, blearily looking around the room for the source of the voice. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness of the dormitory, she saw her dorm mates sleeping soundly. Alice was snoring. Who-
“Lily, over here!” Lily looked over at the window she had gazing out of before she went to bed. Her mouth opened a little in her surprise. She pushed away her covers and stood up to get a better view. James was hovering outside the window on his broomstick, his winter cloak fluttering in the slight breeze.
Lily padded over to the window and opened it.
“What are you doing, James?” she hissed.
“Good night, my lady,” he said quietly in a jovial voice, grinning at her. “Care to take an unbelievably romantic and thrilling late night fly?”
“No! Are you mad? We could get caught!” He pulled out a silvery material from his pocket and dangled it in front of her face. “Not with this we won’t.”
“I am not getting on that broomstick!” she whispered emphatically, pointing a wavering finger at it.
James pulled his broom closer to the open window. “Please, Lily? I want to talk with you.” He had rearranged his features into that face again, the one he knew Lily found irresistible.
“No. Won’t work this time, James,” she said, crossing her arms defiantly. His eyes were pleading.
“Err!” she let out an exasperated noise and twitched the curtains around the window shut. She rummaged around in her trunk, using her wand as a dull light. She pulled on a pair of Muggle jeans and a warm jumper, her stockings, and trainers. She grabbed a scarf, mittens, school robes and thick travelling cloak. Who knew where James planned to go? Lily put her wand in her pocket, and then pulled back the hangings around the window. James was still hovering in mid-air where she knew he would be, his back to Lily, but he quickly turned when she opened the curtains.
“You’re coming, then?” he said delightedly, smiling at her.
“You knew I would. You always buy me with those eyes,” said she as she climbed onto the window ledge. She gripped the castle wall tightly as James rose to her height.
“Have you ever done this before? Two people riding on an already dangerous length of wood does not strike me as safe.”
“Relax, Lily,” James said unconcernedly. He offered his hand to her and she took it, but didn’t release the stone wall.
“You might need to let go, Lily,” James laughed quietly.
“You know, I’m kind of tired, I think I’ll go back inside.”
“No you don’t. C’mon,” James held both his arms out as if he was going to pick up a child. His broom was inches away and they were very close together, leaving no room for Lily to fall between the ledge and the broom.
“You won’t fall, I promise,” he said soothingly. “Just swing your right leg over-that’s it-” She was on. Lily had James’ back in a death grip.
“Here, take this.” Lily could hear the laughter in his voice. She took the Invisibility cloak from him as quickly as she could and wrapped it around them, moving as little as possible. “Hang on,” he said, and took off. Lily held in a shriek as James pointed his broom handle at the Forbidden Forest below them. James laughed outright and Lily relaxed ever so little. His enthusiasm was infectious. She began to actually enjoy the flight underneath the light of the moon. Everything looked snowy, white, and gleaming in the pale moonlight. Their toes were skimming the highest tops of the trees in the forest. Once Hogwarts castle, toy-like in the distance, was out of sight, Lily pulled the cloak off them. The breeze rushed through Lily’s hair, making it wilder than it had been before. James began thrilling her with his dives and loops. Lily just gasped and held on for dear life. She had forgotten just how good of a flyer he was, however. While his manoeuvres were perilous, he was skilled; Lily trusted him.
James began descending, and soon they landed softly and smoothly on a snow-topped hill.
“Wow,” said Lily as she and James got off his broomstick. “Everything’s so beautiful right now, isn’t it?”
“Mmm,” mumbled James from behind her, wrapping his arms round her waist. They remained in that position contentedly for a few moments, taking in the breathtaking mountains and sharing each other’s warmth.
“What do you see for yourself when you look ahead to the future?” Lily asked him softly.
“Truthfully?”
“Yes.”
“I see hope. I see myself battling alongside friends, allies, schoolmates to stop Voldemort. This war will end. I see you,” he said, and Lily craned her neck to look up at him, “and me, getting married and living happily ever after with our millions of children”-Lily laughed-“in a world with no war, no killing, no picking which side to pledge your life to. And someday we’ll grow old together-”
“But you forget,” Lily interrupted gently, turning her head back to look ahead. “My-”
“-prophecy, I know. But that is what I see,” James finished, resting his chin on the top of her head.
“If only things didn’t have to be this way,” she said a little wistfully.
“What way? Living on limited time so we appreciate life that much more?”
“Well…”
“You need to get past your prophecy, Lily!” They were facing each other now. “Don’t let it dictate your life. Live a little! Make the most of the time you have! Can’t you understand? Maybe the prophecy was meant to be a blessing rather than a curse.”
“Somehow, I doubt it,” she said, bitterness welling in her voice.
“And maybe,” James continued. He was just getting warmed up. “Maybe we were meant to be together. I needed someone to ground me, and you’ve done that, Lily! You guide me like a ship to a lighthouse. And maybe I’m meant to help you learn to live. I can do that, Lily, I can!”
Pieces of a puzzle were beginning to slide into place. Light…James had said she was his light, and he could be hers. The light… “But her light will be lost with her forever…” Lily took a step backwards, horrified.
“No, James, the prophecy! I can’t let you-”
“Let me what?”
“The prophecy, James,” she said miserably. “You would die with me, according to it!”
“So what?”
“Does death mean nothing to you?” she cried. “Don’t you value your own life?”
“Of course I do, but not to the extent that I would cut myself off from friends and family and life just so I’d live!” he shot back at her.
“But-”
“Luv.” He took up her hands. “Everyone must pass on at some point. So what if ours is a little earlier than most. As long as we live every day to the fullest, we have nothing to fear. What’s coming will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.*”
Lily soaked up his words like a sponge. He was right. James was always right. He rested his forehead against hers.
“I’ll always be here for you, Lilyflower,” he said affectionately. His warm breath tickled her cold nose. “No matter what.”
Lily let out a breath. He was so sweet. Perfect. Right. “I’m sorry,” she said weakly, but James stopped her. She sighed faintly against his mouth. She loved it when he kissed her.
Lily pulled away finally, remembering suddenly why they were here.
“James, what was it that you wanted to talk about?”
“Nothing, really,” he replied nonchalantly. He grew tired of standing and sat on his broomstick like a chair. Lily joined him. “Well, actually…How’s your ‘research project’ coming along?”
“Wonderfully,” she said, playing along. “I’ve finished.”
“Really?” James said nervously.
“Yes,” she said simply, leaving it at that. She became very interested in a star twinkling overhead.
“Well?” James burst out. He couldn’t take the suspense. “What did you come up with?”
“Oh, you’re interested?” said Lily with mock surprise. “You aren’t usually too concerned with anything involving the library.”
James gave her an exasperated look.
“Alright, then. I’ve decided that you are an Animagus and your animal form is really quite a beautiful stag. Because the three of you are extremely close friends, I have come to the conclusion that Sirius and Peter are also Animagi. Sirius is the big black dog who was with you when Hogsmeade was attacked, and I have no idea what Peter transforms into. Remus, of course, is a werewolf.”
“A rat,” James supplied, a bit taken aback.
“What?”
“Peter is a rat.”
Lily burst out laughing. “A rat! So I was right, then?”
“Of course.”
“Do you know how advanced that type of magic is?” Lily asked him, amazed.
“Yes,” James admitted.
“When did you become Animagi?”
“In fifth year.” “You were only in fifth year?! I’m very impressed.”
“We did it to help Remus with his ‘furry little problem.’ He can’t really hurt us as animals, and the transformations are easier for him when he has us with him.”
“James, that has got to be one of the noblest things I’ve ever heard,” Lily told him proudly.
“Yeah, well,” James reddened.
“But you are also illegal, unregistered Animagi,” she said somewhat sternly, sounding almost like Professor McGonagall reprimanding a naughty student. “So that kind of cancels out the nobility part.”
“Ha ha,” he laughed wryly, unabashed.
“Wait a second,” Lily said abruptly. “Remus is in St. Mungo’s. The full moon is-”
“In two days,” James finished.
“He won’t be out before then, will he? And wouldn’t his Healers know about his condition?” she said hopelessly.
“I doubt it. So Peter, Sirius and I are going to sneak in to St. Mungo’s-”
“Sneak in to St. Mungo’s?!” Lily yelped into the stillness. “That’s crazy, James!”
“Remus hasn’t transformed without us for over two years, Lily! Think of him! He’s worse off than we would ever be if we got caught.”
“You could get expelled, James!”
“Remus needs us,” he argued with her.
“I thought I was the anchor, the lighthouse, the voice of reason! Aren’t you supposed to listen to that voice?”
“I’m going to St. Mungo’s, Lily,” he said in a perfectly calm and inflexible voice.
“Isn’t there anything I can say to prevent you from going?”
“Nope.”
They were silent for a few minutes, each a little huffy and put out.
“James?” asked Lily carefully.
“Yes, luv?”
“D’you-Could you…I mean…Do you think you could maybe”transform”right here”so I could see...?”
James absolutely beamed at her. “Yeah!” he exclaimed. He hopped off his broomstick, turned to face Lily, and then he was gone. In his place stood the towering auburn stag Lily had seen in Hogsmeade. He stood perfectly still and upright, his magnificent golden antlers gleaming in the nearly full moon. James pranced around, showing off his beautiful Animagus form, causing Lily to giggle at his flouncing.
“Yes, James, I see you. You’re quite pretty, you know.”
His large amber eyes gave her such a reproachful look that Lily let out a laugh. The stag took a few steps closer to her and nuzzled his head against Lily’s arm. She couldn’t help herself; she reached up to scratch him behind the ears.
“You’d make a wonderful pet,” she murmured teasingly. James snorted, and then lowered himself on all fours.
“What are you doing?”
He gave her a look, and then jerked his antlered head backward.
“No, I’m not going to get on!” she exclaimed, amused. “A broomstick was bad enough.”
The stag stretched out his neck and pulled on Lily’s sleeve with his teeth. Lily laughed again and feebly protested even as she swung a leg over his back.
“I won’t be too heavy?” she questioned.
James snorted again, as if to say, “Oh, please.” He waited until she was comfortably positioned, then stood up and took off quickly, causing Lily to clutch his neck. If James had been in his human form, he would have been laughing with mirth at the sight of her. He galloped around the field, and only stopped when Lily, on the verge of retching, asked him to go back.. He turned around and slowly made his way back to the spot where his broomstick was hovering in mid-air. The moon had travelled across the sky, which was lighter now. Lily slid off the stag and walked beside him, one hand resting on his back.
“The country is so lovely.” She breathed in the winter-scented air. “Thank you for this night, James.” They had reached his broomstick. James gave Lily one last nuzzle, then changed back quickly. She smiled at him.
“I think I prefer this form.”
They flew over the lake again. Lily was silent most of the way, trying to fight off sleep.
“You could have died, you know,” she said finally.
“What?” he asked, glancing over his shoulder at her.
“In Hogsmeade. When Voldemort…” she trailed off.
“He was about to kill you,” James said bluntly. “No one in their right mind would have stood aside to watch the one they love die, Lily.”
Lily just buried her face in his robed back, the Invisibility cloak flying about them.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice lost in the wind.
“You’re welcome,” she thought she heard him whisper back.
Lily stiffly climbed off the broomstick and said a lazy, “Alohamora,” opening the window.
“Goodnight, Lily,” James said, flying in closer to kiss her delicately on the mouth.
“Goodnight,” she murmured. He flew off into the night, Lily watching him sleepily. Then she fumbled with her cloak, letting it fall to the floor. She sank onto her bed, completely dressed, and drifted off to sleep, feeling contented and very loved.
A/N: * “What’s coming will come, and we’ll meet it when it does.””Hagrid said the same quote to Harry in The Goblet of Fire, page 719, American paperback edition.