Patrol duty was not going well this night. As of late, James and Lily thought it best to split up, taking different floors and then check in with each other after an hour or so. Lily had taken the seventh and eighth floors, and James had taken the fourth and fifth. Lily already had a massive headache from her massive workload, and rounds were not helping. She had had to dock Frank and Alice for being out after hours, had nearly toppled over a suit of armour, and gotten her leg stuck in that trick step she always seemed to forget. By the time she met up with James, Lily was not in a pleasant mood. James thought he could dissipate her tension with a few well-placed kisses, which worked wonders on her mood. Just as Lily was beginning to relax…
“Miss Evans! Mr. Potter!” a voice screeched.
James and Lily broke apart noisily, both equally red-faced. Professor McGonagall had just come around the corner. She was standing perfectly still, a shocked and scandalized look upon her face as she began to shout at the Head Boy and Girl.
“Show some control and dignity! Rounds are not to be used for your own enjoyment! Twenty points from Gryffindor for your inappropriate conduct. Miss Evans, I caught you once before, and I had hoped most fervently that I would not do it again. I will not repeat this warning in the future, and next time, harsh consequences shall be paid! The same goes for you, Mr. Potter!” With that, she briskly turned and walked away from them.
James turned to Lily, a hard look upon his still-flushed face.
“What did McGonagall mean when she said she caught you once before, Lily?”
“Nothing, it was nothing,” she said breathlessly, thoroughly embarrassed that she and James had been discovered in such a compromising position by McGonagall of all people.
“We’ve never been caught before this, have we?” asked James curiously. “Who were you with?”
“That’s none of your business, James,” Lily said roughly, more out of fear than anger.
“It is my business! If my”I thought you said that you’ve never dated anyone else, Lily?”
“I never said that!”
“You implied! Who was it?”
“You don’t know when to give up, do you? You do not have the right to know everything! I don’t know everything about you! And this particular part of my history doesn’t concern you!”
“Were you…cheating on me, Lily?” James asked, looking disgusted, horrified, and extremely angry all at the same time. “Is that it? You don’t want me to find out whom it was that you were seeing behind my back? Was it Sirius? Because I told him hands off-”
“James, I wasn’t cheating on you! This was years ago! And if I was going to go sneaking behind your back, it sure as hell wouldn’t be with Sirius!”
“Then who was it?!”
Lily snapped.
“I can’t tell you, James!” she shouted hotly, miserably. “This isn’t only my secret! He never wanted anyone to know about our relationship at all, and I will not break my promise to him just to satisfy your curiosity!”
James was just staring at her, his mouth slightly open with astonishment. That only fuelled Lily’s temper and irritation.
“I’m going to finish rounds now!” Not sparing him one last glare, Lily turned on her heel and angrily strode after the opposite direction. She heard James call after her hesitantly once, and she sped up. She had shouted at him, and if they tried to make up, Lily was sure they would have a Shouting Match: Round II.
Lily stopped, and then paced up and down the corridor. James had no business knowing about her relationship with Severus. He did not know when to leave something alone! But then again, James never pried for anything she did not want to share. It was an unspoken agreement between the two of them. Comprehension dawned on Lily. Of course! James was jealous. That obviously made sense. She felt a tiny bit foolish, and much less angry. Oh, she wished she could just tell James about Severus…
Her pacing halted abruptly and Lily stared. An ornate oaken door had just appeared in the space of wall in front of her. She looked up and down the corridor. Of course, this was the seventh floor”the Come and Go Room! Lily gazed at the door. It held so many memories, this room. Maybe just a peek inside wouldn’t hurt…But no, she reminded herself, she was supposed to be patrolling. The sound of rapid footsteps echoed suddenly down the hallway. James? Probably. Lily made up her mind quickly and dashed through the door into the room. She snapped it shut and turned around, leaning on the door. She squinted around the room, mildly awestruck. The lighting was dim, the floating ebony candles casting leaping shadows on the walls. There were photos all along the wall and in the centre of the room…Lily crept closer. Bloody hell. She gasped, and her eyes darted back to the walls. The pictures…they were all of her! And the pale shape in the middle of the room like a shrine”her! A life-sized mannequin in a wedding dress! She backed away, and the thing blinked at her! She crept a little closer. Yes, the eyes definitely looked alive. But what was it?”
“Lily.”
She whipped around, searching for the person connected to the voice. Then she spied him rising from the black plushy sofa, his pale skin, illuminated by the candlelight, contrasting greatly with the black of his school robes. His expression was his usual unreadable mask, but yet stranger than Lily had ever seen it.
“Severus,” she breathed. “What are you doing here? What have you done to this place?”
“Like it?” he asked in a soft, deadly calm voice, perfectly controlled.
“No,” she said firmly, disgusted.
“Pity.” He stopped advancing a short distance away from her. “This is where we used to go together, with a few”alterations.” He gestured around the room with his hand. Lily again found her eyes drawn to the mannequin’s. “I still come here often, you know, when things become too much.”
“Severus,” Lily said hesitantly. “What is that?” she pointed to the life-sized Lily in the middle of the room.
“Oh, that. Just a reminder of my failure.”
“Failure-”
“The only relationship I’ve ever had was a failure.”
“Severus, that wasn’t your fault-”
He ignored this, taking a few steps toward her. Lily, in turn, hastily stepped back.
“And how have you been doing, Lily? Wonderful? If not, do you feel as if your life is already at an end, your soul grown cold and bitter? No, I don’t suppose so." His smile was a reflection of his bitter soul.
“Severus-”
“You have never had your heart ripped from your chest, never felt the pain, never had a constant, gaping wound that does not heal!”
“Severus, please! I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused.” Lily was trembling. Though he had not raised his voice above that eerie whisper, he was successfully causing Lily much distress and fear. His presence was captivating, commanding one’s silence and attention. Lily was both hypnotised and frightened by this side of him. “Please, Severus, you must believe me. I never meant to hurt you. I broke things off to prevent that.”
“Never meant to hurt me?” he scoffed. “It’s a bit late for that, Lily. Does ‘James Potter’ ring a bell?” He was advancing on her. She remained stock-still.
“Severus, I-” Lily stammered. “There’s nothing-” She could not finish her sentence. Her feeble defence was futile. They both knew she would be lying, whatever she said.
“Liar,” he hissed, circling her like an overgrown bird of prey. “I’ve seen you two together, laughing, bashing Slughorn like we used to do to Potter.” His cool, spidery hand reached up and touched Lily’s neck. She started, surprised by his bold movement, but remained otherwise still. His fingers were so cold; their touch sent more shivers down Lily’s back.
- this gave me the shivers “Everything has changed now, hasn’t it?” His hand had travelled to her face and hair, stroking her fiery locks gently. “Look around your world, Lily,” he whispered tantalisingly. “Is it everything you hoped it would be? No; the wrong guy, the wrong situation…The right time to come back to me.*” He was behind her now, his arm around her, pulling her to his chest the way James often did. Lily closed her eyes, trying to steady herself and remain calm, but Severus was greatly unnerving her.
“Severus,” she said shakily, opening her eyes as one of his hands travelled dangerously lower. She put her hands on his arms, halting their progress. “Severus, please stop this. You’re scaring me.”
“Why should I frighten you? I’m the very same person I was last year when you rejected me…”
“Severus, please! I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry!” He spun her around to face him. “You think just an apology will suffice, will make up for all of the agony you have put me through this past year?”
“No,” said Lily desperately. “Please, Severus, tell me what I can do to try and make it up to you.”
His eyes lit up with a strange fire.
“Run away with me.”
“What?” Lily said, stunned.
“Run away with me. Let’s get out of here. We don’t need any of this, any of them . We’re better than all of them.”
“Severus, that’s crazy. We can’t possibly-”
“We can, Lily! The year is almost over. Who needs NEWTs, really, in the midst of a war? We can run away to be together, always.”
“No, Severus,” Lily said firmly.
“What?”
“No, I will not run away with you. That is preposterous. Not only entirely impossible, I can’t: I-I don’t love you.”
His hands dropped from her arms as if she had burned him.
“What did you say?” His hollow, unnatural whisper was back. She could see nothing of his face, shadowed by the hair that provided a veil between him and her.
“Severus, please look at me."
He did, very slowly. One bulging eye appeared between the part of hair that hid his face.
"I said that I don’t love you anymore,” said Lily clearly, watching him cautiously, knowing that her words would most likely infuriate him to madness. “I can’t love you.”
“But I suppose you can love James Potter?” he spat, his eyes glinting in the dancing candlelight. “What happened, Lily? We are so perfect for each other, don’t you see: both the cleverest in our Houses, severely misunderstood people, both prefects, even! We were partners, brilliant manipulators of potions and ingredients! Why don’t you love me?!” He was getting angrier.
“I can’t, Severus! You know that. The prophecy-”
“God damn that bloody prophecy to hell!” he screamed at her, losing all pretexts of calmness. “I love you, Lily! You are the only person that I have ever loved, and you turned me away! All because of Potter and that prophecy! Swayed by an arrogant bastard! Why? What does Potter have that I don’t?” he grabbed her shoulders again roughly in his pincer-like grasp. “I LOVE YOU, LILY,” he shouted once more as he shook her. “You drive me mad! I cannot get you out of my head! I need you; without you I’m-” He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately on the mouth. Lily’s eyes widened and she was so startled that she could not move. As Severus deepened his kiss, she gathered her wits and struggled to free herself.
“Severus!” she gasped when they finally broke apart. “You must stop. This is mental-deranged”you’re not yourself-”
As if confirming this, he laughed maniacally. “Love makes people desperate, Lily.” He slowly leaned in, ready for more. Lily stepped backwards into something solid. The door trapped her. Severus thought the same; a grin spread across his fanatical visage. “Nowhere to go,” he whispered, stroking her cheek as he neared her mouth. His body pressed against hers, pinning her to the door. Lily suppressed a shudder.
“Severus,” she choked, nearing tears. “Please stop this!”
“I can’t, Lily,” he spoke softly, his eyes roving greedily across her face. “I’m in love with you.” His mouth met hers and he hungrily kissed her. She reached immediately for the wand in her pocket, but Severus held her arm away. Lily was reeling. Severus was not himself. What had happened to him? He was unstable, unhinged, deranged…Nothing like James. James. She could almost hear him calling to her…
***
James had been pounding on the door where Lily had disappeared ever since she had entered the room. He could see the Room of Requirement on the Marauder’s Map, and Snape and Lily inside, but the Room would not grant him entry. Please let me inside, please let me inside, James thought desperately, pacing past the door. He fisted the wall where the door should be, but nothing happened.
“Come on!” he said angrily, growing impatient. Suddenly, a noise from within the room caused him to cease all movement. Then there was silence.
“Lily!” James shouted, pounding on the hard stone. “Come on!” He directed a kick at the wall, and was rewarded with a pain in his foot. ** He hobbled past the stretch of wall many more times, but could not gain entry. James was now frightened as well as frustrated. Lily was locked inside the Room of Requirement with Snape. James did not even want to imagine what could be taking place inside of that room right now…
***
“The Room of Requirement is an amazing place, isn’t it?” Severus breathed into Lily’s ear, temporarily pausing in his onslaught of kisses upon her neck.
“Severus, I beg of you,” she moaned, tired of fighting him, “Please stop.”
“I’ve told you: I cannot stop loving you.”
Lily was getting desperate and not a little frightened out of her mind. The Room, answering Severus’ every wish, had pinned Lily to its door, leaving Severus free to do…other things…Wait, Lily thought, hit by sudden inspiration. They were in the Room of Requirement. It could give her anything she needed. She closed her eyes and wished with all of her strength. There was a faint ‘pop’ and Lily’s wand was in her hand. Severus, preoccupied with her collarbone, failed to notice. Then a few things happened in quick succession.
“Lily!” she heard James’ voice calling her again.
Severus paused. Hi lifted his head and stared at the door behind Lily.
“So,” he said, drawing his wand. “Prince Charming is here to rescue his princess. Save your breath, Potter!” He called this last sentence through the door. Meanwhile, Lily shut her eyes again. I need the door to open, she wished. She opened her eyes as she felt the door behind her following her command. She disarmed Severus a split second before James blasted the door off its hinges. Lily flew with it across the room, still attached, as she heard Severus let out a furious bellow. Lily and a million shattered pieces of oak collided painfully with the opposite wall, and the world went black.
A/N: *“Look around your world, Lily,” he whispered tantalisingly. “Is it everything you hoped it would be? No; the wrong guy, the wrong situation…The right time to come back to me.””This was paraphrased from a song by Del Amitri called “Roll to Me.” **“Come on!” He directed a kick at the wall, and was rewarded with a pain in his foot.”This was taken from Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, page 465, American hardback.