I was shocked. He had gone upstairs an hour ago hadn’t he? He didn’t seem to realize I was there, he seemed to be looking for something. Suddenly he smiled, bent over and picked up a piece of parchment. He was evidently getting ready to leave when he saw me and stopped.
”Lily!” He exclaimed, seeming a bit surprised to find me staring at him. He slipped the parchment into his back pocket.
“Potter. I’m surprised to see you here. I was sure I’d seen you go upstairs not to long ago. A bit after curfew isn’t it?”
"Oh watching me now, are we, Lily?" he replied. I opened my mouth and closed it again, realizing what I'd just said. To my utter surprise, I felt myself blushing furiously. James came and sat down in the chair next to me. I glared at him and he ignored it.
"What were you and Moo-, I mean Remus, talking about so intently last night? He commented about what I a nice time the two of you had last night."
"Werewolves, if you must know. I was...I was having trouble with that essay." I replied. For a moment James looked rather stunned. I prepared myself for his jokes about my needing help, but they never came.
"Moony talked to you about werewolves?"
"Yes, as a matter of fact he did. Seemed rather enlightened on the subject. Said he had a cousin who was bitten.” Again a funny look flickered across his face.
"Ah, yes, his cousin." We sat in silence for a moment. James stood up and went to the common room window. It was open and a slight breeze was drifting in. Suddenly the noise of a wolf howling in the distance drifted in, I jerked, startled. James looked out across the grounds and towards the Forbidden Forest. I had never liked the fact that our dorms where on the same side as the Forest, not that I thought they were haunted or anything, it just used to frighten me when I first came to Hogwarts. As the wolf howled again James sighed and slowly closed the window, but he remained there.
And suddenly, it all came together for me. I think I had known it since last night, that I had figured it out, but suddenly I knew it was true. The strange absences, Remus being sickly at every month, the nickname I had heard him called by James and Sirius, why he knew so much about werewolves.
I sat up straight, “It’s not his cousin! It’s him! Moony...Remus, he's a…oh, poor Remus!" I sat there, my hands clasped in front of me. James looked startled.
"I have no idea what you're talking about Lily. Remus, a werewolf? Nonsense." But as he said it, even he didn't look convinced of the fact. I stood up, walked to the window, grabbed him by the shoulders and made him look me in the face.
"James, look at me in the eye and tell me Remus is not a werewolf." James opened his mouth, paused, and closed it again. Then looked away.
"Lily...he...I.." he stammered.
"Oh, James, he is, he is! It must be terrible. No wonder he always looks sickly. It must be awful to live like that." A tear trickled down my cheek. James looked at me, watching the tear fall slowly down my face. He took a step closer, hesitating, gazing at me, I looked away. His hand reached up, stopped, and then slowly brushed the tear away. I shivered at his touch. This was not the James I thought I knew. He was tender, kind. Not teasing or showing off. This seemed to be the real James. Or maybe just another side of a complex person. Suddenly, his arms were around me. My face buried in his chest, his head resting on mine. I could smell him; a nice soapy smell and even a bit like trees. How long we stood there, I have no idea. Just the two of us, wrapped in each other. He was comforting, not speaking, just holding me.
Finally, I pulled away. Not really wanting to leave the warmth of his arms. But it was late, and I was recovering myself a bit, becoming a little uncomfortable at our intimacy.
"Good night, James." I said and slowly went upstairs. Before I went into my dorm, I looked back down at him, just standing there in the moonlight, watching me. I laid down, not even bothering to change. So, Remus was a werewolf, and for some reason, I no longer hated James. Why was that, I kept asking myself. Was it his loyalty to Remus? The tenderness he showed me tonight? Or the fact that the two of us were growing up. And for the second night in a row, he filled my dreams.
The next morning, I made my way down to the Great Hall with butterflies in my stomach. The thought of meeting James again after last night fluttered nervously on the edge of my mind. What would he say? What would I say? As I approached the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, I was amazed to find that he was not at breakfast. In fact, none of the self-named “Marauders” were around. I was not surprised to find Remus missing, but I did wonder where the others were. But I didn't have much time to think about it. I had to rush off to Transfiguration.
James, Sirius and Peter all arrived towards the middle of the class, causing Gryffindor to lose thirty points. Yet, Professor McGonagall said nothing about Remus. Only the five of us knew why. James and I didn't speak a word to each other all day. Classes were busy, there being only a week till exams; fifth-, six-, and seventh-year students filled the Common Room, all studying. Remus came in shortly after dinner but said nothing to me. I assumed he was waiting until everyone cleared the Common Room. I was right. Soon, only the Marauders and I remained. Sirius poked Remus and nodded toward me. Seeming to say, “Better do it now mate.” Evidently James had told the others as well of my discovery. Remus slowly stood up and came toward me, looking very nervous.
"Lily..." he said, seeming unsure of himself. I stood up, went to him, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He looked startled, and a little pleased. James, on the other hand, looked angry.
"Remus, I don't care what you are. To me, you are and always will be Remus Lupin. And I promise, no one will hear about you from me." He smiled with relief.
"Thank you," he whispered.
"Now, I believe I still owe you some help in potions."
"Yes, I believe you do."
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The next couple of weeks flew by. Studying for exams, taking exams, waiting for results. I ended up helping all the Marauders with studying. For, in helping one, you really have to help the rest. Remus was my favorite pupil you could say. He always had good things to say and was always willing to study. James seemed a little more distant to Remus in the days that followed. I wondered if he resented our new relationship. Even though he joined our little study groups, he seemed sometimes as though he’d rather be somewhere else. I went with Remus on our last trip to Hogsmede of the year and this seemed to really set James off. He avoided Remus and I for quite some time after that.
I missed his presence during that time. Though I couldn’t really say why. Remus really was wonderful company, but still, something in me longed as well for the company of James. I think I secretly wanted to go with James, but I could not yet convince myself that yes, this is what I wanted. Would he still be interested in me when our seventh year started? I was not going to get involved in an end-of-the-year fling. Any way, I was quite happy with Remus.
Or was I?
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Read and reveiw please! I love it muchest! Thanks a million to my Beta, Midnight_Marauder who betaed my first 3 chapters.