Lily Evans...Potter? by LilE
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I was happier than I'd ever been as I boarded the Hogwarts Express. Even though I had prefect duties, I first wanted to find the Marauders. This was not too difficult, as the four of them had just set of dungbombs in the Slytherin Quidditch captain’s compartment Well, actually, Remus hadn't. He was in the prefects’ carriage at the front of the train, no doubt warned to stay away from for a little while.
"Potter, I should take points off for that."
James looked up and grinned, “Why, Lily-flower! Whatever would you want to do that for?" he said, and before I could stop him, he grabbed me around the waist and spun me around the hallway.
"James Potter! How dare you!" I said once he stopped, leaving me dizzy.
He grinned wickedly, “What? Are you not happy to see me?"
"You know what, you big prat,” I replied punching him on the shoulder, “Of course I'm happy, I just don't think that spinning around in the hallways is a good way to show it!"
"Did you hear that mates?" he said, calling over his shoulder, "She's excited to see me!"
A few heads had poked out of their compartments to see what the noise was about. I blushed. James, still holding on to my waist, drew me into the compartment he and the others were in.
"Not ashamed are we, Evans?"
"No, Potter, I just thought that as Head Boy and Girl we should show some decency. And I'm a prefect!"
He laughed at this. Remus used this a lot against the others, but it rarely fixed anything.
"James, will you ever grow up?" I said, looking at him with a frown on my face.
"Maybe you should reform me," he said, pulling me much closer, with a wicked gleam in his eyes.
"Mmm, don't you wish,” I said, pulling away. "I'll see you later. I have prefect duties that I actually care about." And I walked out, going off to look for my friends and leaving James looking rather deflated.
After walking the train and making sure all was in order with the other prefects I went to find my friends. And even though there were five of us, I still felt lonely. It was quieter without James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius. I found it funny that I actually missed them. Their jokes and laughter. James' smile. I sighed wistfully for what felt like the hundredth time.
My friend Alice turned to look at me, "Lily, you keep sighing and you don't seem to be quite yourself. Are you quite all right?”
"Yes, Alice, I'm fine,” I said, smiling and trying not to look completely out of it.
"I know! It’s that Potter boy, isn’t it!" she said. I was shocked, how did she know? "He's been asking you out again, or doing some other horrible thing, hasn’t he?"
I relaxed, she didn't know. Of course, how could she? When I’d left last summer I had adamantly stated I still hated him, and she didn’t know what had gone on during the summer. I hadn’t felt ready to tell her yet.
"Oh, something like that,” I said. And then I tried to be a little more engaging, not wanting her to figure it out or ask any more questions.
Soon we arrived at Hogwarts and we all piled out of the train and into our carriages. I expected my friends to be following in after me and was surprised to see James climb in behind me and close the door. (Later I learned Sirius, Remus and Peter had kept everyone else away so the two of us could ride alone.) James looked at me for a minute and then said, in a very serious tone,
"Tell me, Lily-flower, why do you keep running from me?”
"I...James...I don’t…"
"Don't say you don't know what I'm talking about. I know you do. Telling me you’re happy to see me, then leaving and not coming by again all day. I know you, Lily, and you do not seem to be the kind of person who would play with someone’s feelings."
"No, James, not in the least, it’s just..." I didn’t know what to tell him. I didn’t know what to say, or even really how I felt. I knew I didn’t hate him, but love is such a complex feeling. But before I could put any thoughts into words, the carriage had stopped and the doors had opened.
He took my hand, "We’ll continue this later."
I submitted as he kept my hand and didn't let go until dinner appeared on our plates. It was oddly comforting, that warm hand on mine. Yet it made me nervous as well. Knowing that soon I was going to have to figure out how I really felt about James and tell him. As we walked up to the common room, still hand in hand, I could hear the whispers. It was known by many, especially Gryffindors, that James had been asking me out for years and I had flatly refused. So to see the two of us walking along the corridors like that was a shock to more than one person. And even more of a shock to my friends who had heard me say I would never go out with James Potter if he were the last man on earth.
Time seemed to drag slowly by, even though the common room was empty by ten o'clock. As my friend Alice had gone up to bed she had given me a look that said, “What’s going on?” I just shrugged and tried to say with my eyes that I’d tell her later.
However, we weren’t totally alone yet, as Remus, Sirius and Peter were still there. Though when Remus looked up and realized everyone else was in bed he stood up and yawned and said, "Well, I suppose it’s off to bed. Big day tomorrow. Eh, Sirius?"
Sirius looked as though the last thing on earth he wanted to do was leave the two of us alone. James pretended to be absorbed in his book and paid them no mind. Sirius slowly stood up and turned to Peter.
"Bedtime, eh, Peter?"
Peter looked at the two of them like he had no idea why they had to go to bed. But Sirius looked pointedly at James and I, and Peter seemed to understand.
"Oh, right, yes, bed."
"I'll be listening,” James told them as they went up stairs.
"Prongs, ol’ boy, do you not trust us?!" Sirius said mockingly. I wondered whatever on earth could they mean.
"Not in the least,” James replied. Seeing the look of confusion on my face he said, "I'll tell you later."
And so the other Marauders disappeared up the steps. James listened for a moment, his eyes fixed on the stairs. Then he slammed his book shut and looked at me. I tried smiling innocently as though I had no idea what was going on.
"So, Miss Evans, tell me. Why do you keep giving me these mixed signals?" He turned his dark eyes upon me; they were full of seriousness and none of the playfulness that so often filled them. This wasn't the joking James I saw so often. This was James being serious, being honest. I knew I couldn't lie to him. I looked down at my hands.
"I'm afraid, James. I'm afraid to say how I feel. I'm afraid I'll just be a 7th year fling for you. Once you've conquered me, you'll be happy and move on. I don't want to be left alone James, especially by you. I've loved getting to know you these past months. Getting to know who you really are. But James, do you really love me?" I replied, finishing by looking back at his face, and quickly looking away again.
His hand came up to my face and gently he turned my head so again I was looking into those deep brown eyes.
"Lily,” he spoke softly. "My little Lily-flower. Of course I love you. I can hardly remember a time when I didn't love you. Just ask Moony, or better, Padfoot. You have no idea how happy you've made me. Writing to me over the summer, not frowning at me every time I look or speak to you. I feel like I'm going to explode I'm so happy. Maybe at first it was a crush, but, my little Lily, I feel so much more for you than I ever have for anyone. I have never felt this way for anyone else. So yes, Lily, I love you."
And then, he closed the distance between us and our lips met, just briefly. A shiver went down my entire body.
"Don't stop," I said, to my utter shock, and yet it was true. He laughed quietly. Again he bent his head down and we kissed again, longer. My arms went around his neck and I pulled him closer to me. No thoughts went through my mind other than pure happiness and knowing that this was right.
Suddenly a whooping sound came from the corner. We quickly pulled apart. I looked and saw no one, and then suddenly Remus, Sirius and Peter were all in the corner, all grinning. Sirius's was more an evil grin and Remus shrugged apologetically.
"How...?" I said, in utter shocked, wondering if the three of them had been there the whole time.
Sirius held up a silvery cloak," James hasn't told you about this yet, eh? His invisibility cloak. Would've been down here sooner but Moony here did his best to keep us from coming. Of course, I don't think he tried his hardest."
"I did too! I came down with the two of you to make sure you didn't jinx them or something,” Remus replied and Sirius snorted. Seeing the shock in my face and realizing I was worried that they had seen and heard the whole thing Remus quieted my fears, "And don’t worry, Lily, we made it down just before the first kiss. You never would have known we were here but Sirius was having a hard time restraining himself and had to express his feelings."
I buried my face in James's shoulder, giggling, totally embarrassed. I looked back up at James, "Will we ever have privacy? Or will they always be following us around under that thing?"
James laughed. "Remember, Lily, that is my cloak. We can be the ones to slip off under it, not them. Though keeping it in your room might work better since they can't go up there."
"You can't do that, mate!" Sirius cried. "How would we..." He stopped, looking at me.
"I see, so that's how you've been pulling some of your pranks! Maybe it would be a good idea for me to keep it, James. We can't have head boy getting in trouble. And Remus, you're a prefect!" Remus looked at the ceiling.
"That, among other things. Eh, James?" Sirius said wickedly.
"Now hold up, we can't go giving all our secrets to Lily in one night," James said, looking at Sirius as though he wanted to knock him out.
"Well, in that case, Mr. Potter, maybe I'll just go to bed..." I said, starting to get up.
He pulled me down again. "I'll tell you anything, I promise, just don't leave!"
I smiled at him, kissed him lightly and replied, "No James, you don't have to. But really, I must go to bed. First classes are tomorrow and it's very late. And I don't care what you do, but I am not sleeping in classes. Not even Professor Binns’."
Again I stood up and so did he. He stopped at the bottom of the stairs to the girls’ dormitories and I continued up. At the top I turned and looked back down. And then I knew, I don't know how, I just did, that he would never leave me. That he would always love me. I flew back down the stairs into his arms and kissed him deeply. "I love you, James Potter." I whispered in his ear.
"I love you, my Lily-flower."
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To my dear readers and reveiwers, sorry it has taken me so long to update this. My summer was very busy and college keeps me busy all the time it seems. All my final chapters have been beta read, so hopefully the end should not be to long in coming.
Stay tuned for a Marauders confession, a night ride and a serious talk with Dumbledore.
Thanks a million and two times to Sarah/Shopaholic, my beta reader. She is awesome!
As always, please read and review!