Lily
I was having a battle of emotions in my head. One part of me was completely disgusted that James even DARED to sit next to me; another part couldn’t help noticing that his shoulder was gently rubbing against mine in a way I was kind of enjoying.
Sae is telling me about how her older brother Simon found a real dragon’s egg cropped up in a tree in her back yard. She says she wishes they could have kept it because she found dragons fascinating and adorable for a creature that breathes fire when you try to pet it. I couldn’t help thinking that dragons were starting to sound like James. Whenever he got too close to you, you were in a danger zone.
Suddenly the compartment door was slammed open. A girl with long red hair stomped in, her pale green eyes flashing with unmistakable anger. She was dressed in a tank top so small you might have thought she had forgotten to put a shirt on, and extremely tiny pink shorts.
Grumpily she sat down in a seat across from James.
“Oh. My. God.” She sputters.
James grinned at her and winked at Sirius from the corner of his eye.
“What’s up Alanna?” He asks with a trace of amusement in his voice.
Alanna glares at him and gestures to the inside of the compartment.
“This damn train!” She explains.
“How do they expect me to react to a heaping pile of metal taking me to school? At my old school, we rode brooms like NORMAL people.”
Exasperatedly, she looks around the room.
As her eyes pass over me, I feel as if a knife was slashed across my face.
Her eyes were reduced to cat-like slits, glaring at me with something close to hatred. I didn’t understand why, I didn’t even know her!
“Lily?” She asks, pointing at me with her finger that was heavily polished with a color similar to blood.
“I’m Lily.” I reply, glancing at her with caution.
“Well how couldn’t you be? The ‘lovely’ red hair, the ‘dazzling’ green eyes.” She snaps sarcastically.
“Um…”
What the heck is going on? How does she know me?
“This is Alanna, Lily.” James explains.
“She’s my adopted sister. Alanna, this is Lily.”
“Hi!” I say cheerfully, glad to have another girl to talk to.
Apparently, the feeling isn’t mutual.
“Hi.” She replies flatly.
My stomach feels ill. This year was not starting off how I’d hoped. I had been daydreaming of laughing with Sae in the hallways, laughing and helping the new first years when they got lost, flirting with James…
Ahem, flirting with boys, not James.
Instead I had a bratty girl who hated my guts and her brother who is apparently still determined to date me.
It’s enough to drive anyone mad.
“Oh, I’ve just remembered,” Sae mutters.
“Simon wanted me to give him his book back.”
Slowly she gets to her feet, her long hair sweeping the floor and Remus’ feet.
“Sorry.” She says sweetly, smiling at him and looking straight into his eyes.
Remus is obviously not used to even this much attention from girls.
“Thanks! I mean, oh, I don’t mind.” He says, and then blushes as bright as Alanna’s nail polish.
After Sae walks out, Peter walks out saying something about leaving his quill outside. Remus, for no apparent reason, follows him, which leaves me here with the worst two Marauders and Alanna.
Alanna is in a state of utter fear. Her whole body shakes while she grips the bottom of the seat, her eyes shut tight as if trying to remember something.
“Er, do you want to sit over here Alanna?” Sirius asks, trying not to laugh as her eyes snap open with fright.
“Fine.” She snaps, getting up and falling into a seat beside him.
“Ah, I’m tired,” He says, yawning hugely and slowly draping his arms over both me and Alanna.
I feel my face heat up with embarrassment and try to shrug him off but his fingers won’t let go of me no matter how much I fidget. Alanna calms down slightly but instantly returns to her bad temper when she sees that she’s not the only one Sirius has his arm around.
James looks equally angry but his eyes are fixed on Sirius. His eyes flash behind his glasses and looking aggravated he turns to stare out the window, subconsciously ruffling his black hair.
Sirius doesn’t seem to notice considering the fact that he’s pulled both of us so close to him my face is jammed against his shoulder. At least Alanna seems to be enjoying it where all I can think of is how the heck to get him off me and why isn’t he nearly as gentle as James is?
“Why do I keep thinking things like this?” I think in aggravation, not realizing I said it out loud.
“Think things like what?” Sirius and James say at the same time, causing James to glare at Sirius again and go back to staring huffily out the window.
“Nothing, just worrying about school stuff.” I mutter darkly, wishing he’d let go of me.
“Don’t worry about it,” Sirius replies calmly, grinning at me through his silky black hair. Then adding:
“Princess.”
In a split second James is on his feet and shooting a venomous look at Sirius that clearly states he wouldn’t mind watching him whimper in pain if he says another word to me.
“Don’t call me princess.” I snap, shoving him off me at last.
I cross my arms protectively over me move to the seat across from them.
James is still on his feet, but slumps back in his seat with a warning look from Alanna.
Then something happens I wasn’t counting on.
Suddenly James looks up, directly into my eyes.
A jolt rushes through me as long as his beautiful hazel eyes are still fixed on mine. My heart starts pounding wildly in my chest so loudly I’m afraid he’ll hear it. I have no idea what’s going on, usually when he looks at me I can just break the lock of his gaze in an instant, but I can’t seem to take my eyes off him!
When I look at him it’s as if I’m reading his soul. Suddenly I can sense vulnerability inside him, something sad and painful. It scares me.
Smiling weakly at me he looks back out the window, breaking off the feeling I had had. Noticing that James may actually have feelings was something I didn’t want to experience, but it was one of those things you just can’t let go of.
I wished I could. I wished I could forget about James, wished he’d leave me alone and never be away from me at the same time. In a corner of my sheltered heart I felt a hate so deep for him I loved him without trying, and that’s why I had to let him go. All he would do is break my fragile heart somehow, exactly like last time, not that some parts of us breaking up weren’t solely my fault. Besides, James probably just flirted with me for attention. It’s the kind of thing he’d do. At that thought I forgot the awful feeling I felt for him replaced with disgust at thinking I could have a crush on someone so shallow.
It was then that Alanna decided to speak. With her head shoved deeply into Sirius’ chest she set her eyes on me.
“So Lily,” She began.
“How does it feel, having someone who cares about you so deeply and just ignoring it?”
It was as if she’d been reading my mind.
“What?” I asked, faking ignorance as she continued to stare at me with an evil grin coming across her face.
James had turned to Alanna, his face free of color or any other sign of life.
With his eyes he was silently pleading for her to stop now before things got ugly, hoping to stop her before she could mention his name.
“Don’t act like you don’t know Evans.” She snarled, her pretty face squinting up into an unattractive look that didn’t suit her.
I was at a loss as to what I should do, if I admitted I knew what she was talking about everyone’s attention would be on me, and about an issue I didn’t want to discuss when I barely knew how I felt about it.
However, if I didn’t do anything-
“Do you feel some kind of pride in breaking my brother’s heart?” She asks, still glaring at me.
“In some sick way do you enjoy the thought of it?”
“Alanna, don’t!” James begged her desperately.
“N-no.” I sputtered, feeling my face grow hot with embarrassment and a hint of sadness.
Flicking her hair over her shoulder she stood up. Being only about 13 by the look of her, this wasn’t very intimidating, but her personality took care of that.
“Then what do you feel Evans? If anything. I doubt a heartless git like you could even begin to understand how much he-“
“Alanna, shut up!” James yells suddenly.
His face is scarlet as he looks at her with undeniable anger.
“Don’t talk to Lily like that!”
Yeah, that’s my knight in shining armor. Except at the moment I was feeling like the evil sorceress that wished him dead instead of a princess.
Glaring right back at her brother, Alanna spoke up again:
“How can you like her? She broke your heart and yet you still stick up for her!”
James tries to contain himself by closing his eyes for an instant.
“It really isn’t any of your concern my dear sister.” He snarled sardonically.
“It is too!” She whined, rather like a small child.
“I’ll just go.” I whispered to the hardwood floor, trying to prevent the tears swelling in my eyes from falling.
“Lily,” James says as I start for the door.
I look back at him and bite my lip. I’m back to suffering from the unwanted pain of loving him, if that’s even what this is. It just seems confusing to me.
“Thanks.” I mutter, then walk out.
Thinking I’m alone, I curl up beside the door of a random compartment and squeeze my eyes shut to postpone the moment when all my tears will spill down my face.
“Nice acting.” A cool voice says from beside me.
I look up to see Alanna standing over me, looking disgusted.
“It’s bad enough how much you’ve hurt my brother, you really needn’t fake like you don’t want to hurt his feelings.”
“I’m not faking.” I stutter, my voice quavering on each syllable.
“Well in that case, you may want to start crying.” She whispers in my ear.
“Because for every tear my brother cried, you’re going to cry a hundred.”