Chapter 18: Harry
It was October, and he had a plan to get Peter once and for all.
Getting inside the castle would be easy. Everyone would be inside at the Halloween feast. The Dementors wouldn’t know that he was a dog. After that ... well, he’d work it out from there.
Sirius transformed and began to leave the Shrieking Shack, where he had been living for the past couple of months, since he got there. He travelled along the tunnel, and pulled himself out onto the grounds. The big ginger cat he had become friends with was waiting. It purred as he approached. He sniffed at it in reply. They slipped past each other, and he entered the castle, shivering as he passed the Dementors. But they did nothing.
Once he was nearing Gryffindor tower, he transformed back into himself. Most of the portraits were asleep, including the Fat Lady’s. The sight of her snoozing made the corners of his mouth twitch reminiscently. He’d been doing that a lot, lately.
“Ahem,” he said loudly. She opened one eye blearily, obviously about to put on a show of being affronted. But both eyes snapped open straight away when she realised who it was.
“You shouldn’t be here,” she told him accusingly.
“Well, a lot of people shouldn’t be a lot of things. Can you just let me in?”
“Not without the password.”
A password. How could he have forgotten? He was so caught up in his plan, that it had slipped his mind completely. He cursed himself. How long would he have? He had planned on escaping out the window, so he didn’t have to leave the way he’d come. Did he still have some of that Sirius Black charm, he wondered? “I ... look, just let me in, I won’t be long,” he assured her, smiling. He remembered what he had seen last time he looked in the mirror, and his hope suddenly crushed. He knew what the answer was, before she even said it. The fact that she did say it just made his blood begin to boil.
“I don’t think so. You never were much good at planning ahead, were you, Sirius? You know, I’ve been hearing things about you. Azkaban? I wouldn’t have thought it of you, you were always very careful you didn’t get caught.”
“Are you going to let me in, or not?” he growled, getting more and more aggravated with her. He had to be in there by now. He had to be leaving by now, or he’d end up back in Azkaban, and this time they would be doubly sure that he would never see daylight again.
“Not without the password, no,” she said, primly, patting he hair in a manner that made it clear she was getting bored of him.
It was all too much. He let out a cry of anger, and tore at the canvas in frustration. Peter was still free, and he could get to Harry any time he wanted. How was he supposed to protect Harry like he’d promised if people wouldn’t cooperate? Were they all brain dead? Wasn’t it blindingly obvious that he would never have gone over to Voldemort? Surely Dumbledore could see that? Surely everyone who had ever met him could see that? The Fat Lady shrieked, and fled the portrait in terror. He felt immediately guilty, but it was too late. He turned around to see Peeves, doubled over, gasping with laughter.
“What do you want, Peeves?” he hissed. He needed to be going. All that shrieking was beginning to wake up the portraits.
“Welcome back, Sirius Black. I’ve missed you and your friends terribly ... no one here is nearly as inventive. I’ve had to cause all the mayhem myself. Well, those Weasley twins have helped a little, but there are only two of them ...”
“I need to go, Peeves, I’m sorry.”
“Sirius Black, Sirius Black, always in a hurry, is Sirius Black!”
Sirius ignored him, running past him until he was out of sight.
“Someone’s been a naughty boy!” he heard Peeves cackle after him. He groaned, and transformed into a dog. He ran out of the castle, and back to the Shrieking Shack. Once he was inside, he found the big ginger cat waiting. He needed a new way inside Hogwarts.
“Hey, do you know of a scabby rat in Gryffindor Tower?” he asked it stroking its head. Mentally, he shook himself. It was a cat, not a spy. It looked up at him, and purred. He smiled half heartedly. “Try and do your best to bring him to me, hmm?”
The cat meowed, and its eyes sparkled.
There was an atmosphere that Sirius knew only a Quidditch match could bring. He had been cooped up for so long, and this could be just what he needed “ it was a long shot, but Harry might even be playing. The way things have been going lately, though, it’s not likely, he thought resignedly.
He was skirting the edges of the seating. He could see that the back row was mostly empty. A perfect place to watch without being noticed.
The weather was terrible, but Sirius could just make out that it was Gryffindor and Hufflepuff playing. Someone flew past him, not noticing that he was there. But Sirius saw him.
It was Harry.
From then on, Sirius could barely keep his eyes off the blur of red that was his godson. He flew well, even in these conditions. Sirius couldn’t help feeling proud, yet sad at the same time, reminiscent of when he and James were on the team. Maybe James was over-competitive, and maybe he himself got overly violent sometimes, and very often a game against Slytherin got nasty, but it was almost always in good fun and spirit. And they could certainly always laugh about it later.
The weather was getting worse by the minute. And suddenly, Sirius started shivering. No one else had noticed it yet, they were caught up in the heat of the game. But he had lived with this cold for twelve years, and when it was near, he felt it. It wouldn’t be long until everyone else did, too.
Harry was nearing the Snitch. The crowd was roaring. Sirius saw his godson wavering slightly in his flight, and knew he felt it too. There was a clap of thunder, and their eyes connected.
The next thing he knew, Harry was falling gracefully through the sky. People began to scream. Sirius tried to get to him, but they were blocking his route down. There was a flash of light. Sirius caught a glimpse of Dumbledore, slowing Harry down, picking him out of the sky. He was angry “ Sirius couldn’t recall seeing him so enraged before, although he had come close. But Harry was safe, and that was all Sirius cared about. A thought occurred to him, and he looked around for Harry’s broomstick “ only to see it crash into the Whomping Willow, and get smashed to splinters.
At least I know what to get him for a Christmas present.
Time went by. Christmas passed, and he sent Harry the best broom there was “ without a note, but he still felt a little better knowing that his gift would probably make up for the other times he’d missed. The cat, he decided, was no ordinary cat, and had been able to get the Firebolt for him relatively easily. He marvelled at it, and it often told him of how it had tried to frighten Peter for him. Sirius liked hearing this, but knew that more needed to be done. He was still no closer to actually finding the rat. It agitated him, knowing that vermin like that walked free “ scampered free, technically “ and yet he was living in a haunted shack for fear of his life, and had to change into a dog if ever he needed fresh air. And he was the innocent one.
It was a Gryffindor match that day, but Sirius decided not to risk it this time. He had been reduced into a melancholy of hopelessness, and rarely bothered to go outside anymore. The only communication with another living thing he had had in the last few months had been with a cat. A very intelligent one, but it was still a cat.
Speaking of which… It slunk around the door now. Sirius glanced over, but didn’t watch it for too long. He was slumped in an armchair that had been torn to shreds by Remus years ago, and couldn’t muster the enthusiasm to get up. Until the cat jumped on his lap, claws digging in.
“Aaargh!” he screamed, and it jumped down. But at least he was alert now. Alert enough to notice the piece of paper in its mouth. He took it, since it must have been important to warrant the new punctures in his leg. There was a title scribbled at the top.
‘This Week’s Gryffindor Passwords’
Sirius’s mouth dropped open. He looked at the cat, which was licking its paws, innocently.
“Are you really that smart? Or is it just a fluke?”
The cat went right on licking its paws.
He left in the middle of the night. He would be able to get to the Dormitory and steal Wormtail away. Just one slash of a knife, and it would all be over. He could use the rat as proof of his innocence, and Harry would be safe. He would be able to keep his promise. He could even ask Harry to move in with him “ they could live together, like James would have wanted. It would be like having his best friend back ...
He had the knife. He made it to the third year boys’ dormitory undetected, and all seemed to be asleep. He started checking through the curtains of the four posters for the boy Ron, with the Weasley red hair. He reached Harry’s bed first. The boy seemed to be having some kind of nightmare. Sirius slipped away, moving on to the bed next to him. As he stood before it, memories of Peter, of Lily and James, of all that had happened came rushing back. In a sudden fit of frustration and anger, he tore at the curtains with the knife. Ron’s eyes opened. A look of horror and fear appeared on his face, when he had looked so peaceful a moment before. For a second, they stared at one another in shock. Then Ron’s eyes flicked to the knife in his hand, and all of a sudden, he let out a long, loud yell. Sirius fled, knowing it was his only choice. Already the other boys were sitting up, Harry included.
He ran as fast as he could, knowing that he would be caught for sure if he didn’t flee. He transformed as he ran, and bolted past the Dementors so fast, he barely felt their cold.
He scrabbled under the Whomping Willow, and didn’t stop until he had collapsed in a heap onto the old armchair. As the adrenaline seeped away from him, one thought penetrated his mind.
Foiled again.
Sirius was running out of hope. He had tried and failed so many times to capture Peter, and he was beginning to think that what he had set out to do was impossible. The cat had told him that Peter had left blood on the sheets, and disappeared. Sirius was sure that Peter had actually just started feeling the heat, faked his own death again, and ran away, even from the safety of Ron Weasley. Peter was smarter than they had taken him for. Or maybe just twisted, thought Sirius dryly.
He knew he didn’t have long left “ the year was drawing to a close. How could he have been here for a year and achieved nothing? He hadn’t even spoken to Harry “ who, if he was anything like James, he would know somehow that Sirius was his Godfather. And if he was anything at all like any of the Marauders “ well, probably not Peter “ then he would also be determined to find Sirius and kill him for what he thought he had done.
He decided to walk around the grounds for a bit “ he had a feeling that a curfew had been put on the school because of him “ If only they knew I’ve had been living a mere mile from them all along “ so the chances of him running into anyone were slim. He transformed, and took the familiar journey down the long tunnel.
He poked his head out. Ron Weasley appeared from nowhere tearing after the rat “ Peter. He seemed to be calling it ‘Scabbers’. The cat was there too, attacking Ron as well as Peter in an attempt to get at him. Sirius simply stood there in shock. Harry and another girl their age appeared too, running over to Ron, who was rolling on the floor, trying to free himself from the cat, and keep ‘Scabbers’ still.
*“Ron “ come on “ back under the Cloak “ Dumbledore “ the Minister “ they’ll be coming back out in a minute “”*
Ah, the cloak. Of course. I had wondered what happened to that. Sirius thought. And then he sprang into action. He wasn’t entirely sure how it happened, but before he knew it, he was dragging Ron by the arm back into the tunnel, knowing that he would be taking Peter with him. Harry and the girl would follow, he was sure. He could explain himself to Harry. Give him the truth, let him see past the lies that there were about him. He was so desperate, he was getting even more reckless.
He placed Ron carefully on a bed “ his leg looked broken. He transformed back into himself, and waited for Harry and the girl, while Ron threatened him feebly. But Sirius could tell the boy was in pain. Not long now ...
They came. Ron whimpered that it was a trap. Harry looked him in the eye, and it was clear he was convinced that he had killed Lily and James. He also said that Sirius was going to try and kill him, Harry, too. Sirius was hurt, but not entirely surprised. Of course that’s what the Ministry would have thought. Eventually, Harry tried to attack him, in a complete rage. This was almost too much for Sirius, who found himself grabbing the boys’ throat, his thoughts wild, none of them connecting. But then, the girl kicked at him, and he let go, suddenly realising what he was doing. But soon, Harry was standing over him, wand pointing at his chest. There was such hatred in the boy’s eyes that Sirius lost all the feeling of wanting to live. Lily’s eyes, looking at him, filled with such hate ... with the desire to kill.
But then, something wonderful happened. They managed to talk. Remus appeared “ he had apparently been teaching there all along that year. Snape also came, as ugly and greasy as Sirius remembered, but he didn’t last long. Sirius was particularly impressed with Harry’s talents in dealing with what was apparently his Potions teacher. James would have been proud, he was sure.
Eventually, they were able to change the rat back into Peter “ probably for the first time in thirteen years. When Harry and the others finally believed him, Sirius and Remus were all set to kill Peter there and then.
It was surreal to see Remus there, so old looking. He was greying, and tired looking. Although, Sirius doubted that he looked like Remus remembered him, either. They kept sneaking subtle glances at each other, in pure amazement. What had happened to the four innocent young boys? One dead, one responsible for it, and the other two about to be murderers themselves. It seemed at that point that James was the only one who was still innocent. Ironic, really.
*“He would have killed me, Sirius,”* Peter had whimpered in excuse, and something inside him had snapped.
*“THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!”* he had roared, all the emotion from thirteen years suddenly spilling out. *“DIED, RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS! AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”* The thought that this was true “ he would have given his own life for this pitiful creature claiming to be a man “ had sickened him.
Remus, always the calm one, even when about to become a murderer, had softly said to Peter, *“You should have realised, if Voldemort didn’t kill you, we would.”* He paused for a moment, and took a deep breath. Harry had looked torn, as Remus said, *“Goodbye, Peter.”*
And now, they were raising their wands towards the man who had once been a close friend. The girl “ Hermione “ turned away.
But Harry stopped them. Sirius had known deep down that he would have, but he still argued his case a little longer. Harry stood firm, saying that they would take Peter to the Dementors. He was so like James, Sirius suddenly thought that it really was his best friend. But the eyes “ they were sweet little Lily’s. He missed her, too. She was always so rational, but at the same time, she had a fun nature about her. He missed them all, and wondered dimly what ever happened to Tara. He could find out later “ when he was finally free.
They tied Peter up, and began to leave the Shrieking Shack, heading for Hogwarts. Sirius walked with Harry, and couldn’t remember being that happy in a long time. He asked Harry to consider living with him, and was delighted at how eager the teenager seemed. He could see it in his mind, and was so happy at the thought, it was almost surreal.
But then the full moon made its presence known. And Sirius knew it wasn’t over yet.
He woke up in a small office. It took a moment for his memory to come back to him. And then he remembered. He had had to fight Remus-the-wolf. He had done this in his teens, but always had a large stag with a lot of brute force to help him. But on his own, he was overpowered. Peter had transformed, and escaped into the forest. Dementors had come. He had tried to fight, but ...
And now he was here. Something must have drove them back for a while, but if he was in what appeared to be Flitwick’s office (he had gotten to know the offices of all the heads of houses quite well during his time at Hogwarts) that meant that they were probably on their way to give him the Kiss soon anyway. Bugger.
There was a knock on the door, and Dumbledore entered. Sirius was extremely surprised. He stood up quickly. “Professor “”
Dumbledore raised a hand to silence him. “What I would like, Black, is for you to tell me just what has happened tonight. And as much else as I may need to know to understand. You may also want to proceed with haste.”
“First “ can I ask how Harry is? And his friends? None of it was their fault, they weren’t trying to help me or anything.”
“I am aware of that. And they are all unconscious, but already on the mend. Madame Pomfrey continues to be a blessing to our many accident prone students.”
Despite himself, Sirius gave a weak smile. “I remember it well.”
Some ice seemed to have been broken a little. If Sirius could just tell Dumbledore everything “ absolutely everything “ Sirius knew that things might just turn out all right. The trust and awe at this man he had felt as a boy seemed to have not gone away, through all that had happened.
And so he did tell him everything, from the beginning. And at the end of it, he felt better. Still terrible, but better than before. A glimmer of hope had awakened inside him.
“Thank you, Sirius,” Dumbledore said when he had finally finished. “I believe you, and confess I had never really thought you capable of what you had been accused of. But that is for later. I must go and see to Harry and his friends. They will be waking soon. I will do what I can, but I am afraid there is not much I myself can do. But do not give up hope just yet. Something could still be done.”
But as his old hero and headmaster left the room, Sirius struggled to believe him. How could he ever come away from this alive or with his soul intact?
Around five minutes went by. It was nearing midnight. And suddenly, there was a tap at his window. His jaw dropped. How on Earth could Harry and Hermione be outside on a hippogriff? It was like a bizarre dream. But he was sure he hadn't fallen asleep.
“Stand back!” He heard Hermione call through the glass, before she unlocked the window. Before he knew what was happening, he had clambered out of the window, onto the hippogriff, and they had gone up to the battlements on the West Tower.
Harry and Hermione slid off. *“You’d better go, quick,” Harry panted. “They’ll reach Flitwick’s office any moment, and find out you’ve gone.”*
After he had been assured that Ron was okay, and been yelled at to go “ he had no idea where “ he said, with all the emotion he had, *“We’ll see each other again. You are “ truly your father’s son, Harry ...”*
He saw the boy’s eyes burn with equal emotion. For a moment they stared at each other. And then, without even thinking, he squeezed Buckbeak’s (for that is what Harry had called the hippogriff) sides, and flew away.
He felt complete. Harry believed him, and although the circumstances were still pretty dire, he didn’t mind quite as much.
Quote Notes:
* - From chapter “Cat, Rat and Dog,”, page 245 (UK hardback)
* - Next 5 from chapter “The Servant of Lord Voldemort”, page 275 (UK hardback)
* - Next 2 from chapter “Hermione’s Secret”, page 303 (UK hardback)
AN: Sorry, the above was necessary. Merry Christmas! And yes, I’m sure you all knew a lot of that already “ I tried my best to skim round most of the important-but-plagiarism stuff, but of course, a lot of it was unavoidable. So no, it’s not the best, but it was necessary, and the next ones will be better.