Chapter 10: What Lies In A kiss
December '77
Hermione entered Dumbledore's office. He nodded at the chair in front of his desk and she took a seat. As much as Hermione hated to admit it, she was nervous. She didn't have a clue as to why Dumbledore wanted to see her and for some odd reason she knew he hadn't found a way to get her home. As she sat twiddling her thumbs she could feel his glare on her. She finally looked up to meet his gaze. There was the normal kindness, but also worry. "You wanted to see me Professor?"
"Yes Ms. Granger, I requested to speak with you tonight because of an important matter I feel we must discuss."
"Okay," Hermione replied nervously.
"Well Ms. Granger, I am sure you remember our previous conversation?" She nodded. "You remember what I told you about trusting your judgment?" She nodded again. "How have things turned out?"
"Well, um...things have been a bit frustrating actually. I won't lie and say that I haven't told them anything because I have, just not the entire story. I'm trying to work things out with the difference in time and when things have to be done, but it's difficult and..."
"Ms. Granger, I know that your quest to save the future is frustrating, but how are you feeling? How have your decisions affected you?"
"Oh." Hermione had never really thought about how her life was going. She was thinking about everything else. The only thing in her life that she really thought about was whether it was okay that she liked Remus or not. Oh no! I'm becoming a girly girl. Nothing on my mind, but boys. "Personally, things have been great and I really enjoy it here. Almost everyone is a joy to be around and I'm having a lovely time."
"So you're achieving what you cam here for in the first place. You're truly happy."
"I guess I am, but even this can't last forever. There is always something that has to come up and ruin everything," she stated sadly.
"Ms. Granger there is only so much I can do. This is your journey that you started and that you must finished. What you do along the way is up to you. I just warn you to be careful of what you tell and to whom. Remember, awful things have happened to wizards and witches alike that have messed with time. Though in your case you have no choice. Take care of yourself Ms. Granger. You are dismissed."
Hermione sat for few second to digest what Dumbledore had told her. He was right, this was her journey and whatever she did were her decisions to make. She rose from the wooden chair to leave when a thought came to mind. She remembered that verus and herself wanted to speak to Dumbledore. Hermione opened her mouth to speak, but realized that if she said anything it would expose Peter and Severus to being in league with Voldemort.
"Yes Ms. Granger."
"Nothing Professor. Have a good night."
"Goodnight Ms. Granger."
That night Hermione went to bed with a million thoughts running through her mind. She felt like Dumbledore was trying to tell her something, but wasn't exactly sure what. She was more confused than ever. Hermione finally let out a frustrated growl into her pillow. When she finally fell asleep she tossed and turned the whole night.
"HERMIONE!" yelled Lily.
"What Lily? I'm still sleeping. Come back in 10 minutes," mumbled Hermione as she dug her head back into her pillow.
"No, you have to get up," Lily persisted.
"Why? It's Saturday and that means I can sleep late." Hermione was particularly grumpy this morning due to a bad dream. She hadn't been sleeping very well at all, all week and didn't want to be bothered.
"But it's the first snow of the season. It looks like we're going to have a 'white' Christmas to look forward to after all." Hermione didn't seem to budge. Lily sighed. I'm going to get you up one way or another, Lily thought as she grabbed one of her pillows and bashed Hermione on top of her head.
"HEY! What was that for?"
"Just look outside. Please?" Lily gave Hermione a sad puppy dog look that no one, especially James, could refuse.
"Fine." Hermione crawled out of her bed and headed to the corner window. When she looked outside her eyes opened wide. It was beautiful. There was snow everywhere, all over the grounds. It was still falling and created a wonderful overview of the lake. It took Hermione's breath away. She couldn't remember a Christmas in the future that looked this beautiful. Many students, instead of packing to leave school, where enjoying themselves outside. Some were creating snow angels, some creating snow cones, and others engaging in snow wars. "Okay, you've caught my attention. Let's go!"
It took the girls a while, but when they were finished getting ready you could tell they were ready for war. They knew the boys wouldn't play nice and planned on getting them good. They got there roommate, Lisa, to go with them. The girls bundled up and head down to the entrance hall looking as sweet as angels. The boys didn't know who they were messing with.
The girls exited the massive doors of the entrance hall to a winter wonderland. It was beautiful and left the girls speechless. It was one thing to look down at it from a tower, but to actually be standing in the middle of it was a true experience. Lily and Hermione walked and chatted with each other until they found the boys engaged in a snow war.
A huge snowball was hurled toward their heads. Luckily they ducked in time much to the displeasure of Sirius. James sauntered over to meet Lily and held her close as the group gathered.
"Alright mates, now that the girls are here, what should we do?" asked Sirius. The boys glanced at each other. James then walked over to Remus and whispered something into Remus' ear causing him to smirk. He gave Hermione a mischievous look and grinned.
"Remus? What are you thinking?" Hermione asked warningly.
"Oh...nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about."
Hermione squinted at him. She didn't trust them as far has she could hex them, but she was so busy concentrating on Remus, she didn't see James' wand at work behind him. Sirius knew the other girls saw what James was doing, but he urged them to be quiet.
"Hermione's going to kill us if we don't tell her," whispered Lisa.
"No she won't," whispered Lily. "She'll kill James or Remus. It depends on who she gets her hands on first."
WHAM! Hermione had a look of horror and shock on her face. Bits of snow slowly slid down her face onto her clothing. Everyone could see her face getting red, but they couldn't tell if it was from the cold or heat of anger. Her face now along with being red had a glossy sheen. She finally opened her eyes and she was furious. "Remus, you have ten seconds to get a head start and James, I'll let Lily deal with you."
"I don't have to be told twice," said Remus as he ran off. As soon as he started running Hermione tore after him. "Hey you cheated, that wasn't ten seconds!" Remus yelled behind him.
"If you don't play fair then why should I?" Hermione yelled back.
Hermione tried many times to cut him off, but he was just too fast. Damn werewolf! Hermione stopped to catch her breath and then continued her chase. She looked around her and couldn't see him in sight. She looked behind bushed and trees, but could find him. There was one finally place she didn't check, a very large pine tree. She knew he had to be there. She crept lightly toward the tree, but before she could reach to it Remus tackled Hermione into the ground. It probably would've been painful if it wasn't for the snow lessening the impact. They were both out of breath and were calming down. He landed next to her and let out a deep breath.
"Remind me never to ever hit you with a snowball again if I value my life," Remus said out of breath from all the running they had been doing.
"Technically you didn't throw it, but I'll keep that in mind for reference," she chuckled.
Remus took that moment to really look at Hermione. She was so happy. He loved it when she was enjoying her life. It was times like these when her face was so angelic and brightened a room. For a while now he had been wishing that he could be the one to give her all the happiness in the world, but at the moment it wasn't possible. Hermione was stuck in the past and not in a literal sense either. She couldn't remove what Dumbledore had said from her head. She constantly said that she couldn't mess up the timeline more than she already has and it pained him, because she always looked depressed when there isn't anyone around. She was always in the library; he guessed that she was looking for an answer.
"Hermione?" he called as he raised himself from the ground.
"What is it?" she replied looking at the sky.
"Do you really want to go back home, to your own time?"
Hermione was taken of guard by the question. She wasn't expecting it. She looked over to his face and saw his seriousness. She put her hands to the ground to pull herself up. After dusting the snow of her palms she could tell Remus was waiting for an answer.
"Honestly, I don't know," she said staring at her knees. "Sometimes I don't want to even think of going back. I don't want to go back to that environment, but then I think of those people I care about, those people that need me, like Ron and Harry. I don't know what I'd do without them."
"But you're unhappy. I can see it."
"How do you know I'm unhappy?" Hermione said in her defense.
"Would you be here if you weren't?" he retorted.
Hermione had to admit that he was right, but she wouldn't let him know to his face. She looked up at him and tried to read his eyes. There was so much concern, so much worry and it was for her well being. She hated doing this to him. Why couldn't things be simple? Like when she was little. Everything was picture perfect. Her eyes became glossy and she had to turn away. Remus slid closer to her and put and arm around her shoulder. He really didn't mean to upset her.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry, I just..."
"Don't worry about it. I'm fine."
"I only have one question for you Hermione."
"What is that?"
"What do you really want? When you figure that out, you can figure out everything else."
"It's not that simple. I want to save my friends, but at the same time I want to pull myself together and be happy, otherwise...I think I might break."
"I can make you happy," he stated as he moved in. He held her chin in his hand as he lightly pressed his lips to hers. He had never been so bold before and he was taking a real chance for this one girl. He felt a shock go through him as their lips touched. He hoped she felt it to. He was about to pull away until Hermione's hand found its way to his neck. Her soft hands sent shivers through his body as she played with his hair. Their kiss deepened as she pulled him to her and he lowered her body into the snow. As he laid on top of her, her leg automatically wrapped around his. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to the pair. One of Remus arms was bent and balanced him on the snow, while his other hand rested on her forehead and played with her hair. He then lightly ran his tongue along her bottom lip, unaware of how she would react and if he was moving too fast. To his surprised her lips parted and readily accepted him. Their tongues danced in each others mouths as their breathing increased rapidly. It became more and more passionate causing a low growl to erupt deep from Remus' throat. It was Remus who broke the kiss to get some air. They were both breathing heavily. Neither had experience anything like that before. They stared deep into each others eyes knowing that the other wanted more of what they just had. All of the tingling, the shocks, and the butterflies were gladly accepted and wanted. At Hermione's smile Remus frowned. He moved his hand from her forehead to her cheek. He brushed it softly with his thumb and said in a whisper, "I can't do this Hermione, not if I mean nothing to you." He came off of her and just laid in the snow staring at the sky; much like Hermione was doing earlier. Hermione didn't understand. How dare he make me feel such things and then say that? What does he mean "I mean nothing to you," he means a lot to me. He knows that. He...
Hermione's thoughts froze. She sat up and looked at him. He avoided her gaze best as he could. He wants more, she realized. She made up her mind in that moment. As much as she loved her friends, Remus just brightened her day when things seem at their darkest and she would no longer let something like time stop her from being happy because she knew that time waited for no one...it wouldn't wait for her to take her slow sweet time and she'd be too late. Maybe this is what Dumbledore meant.
Hermione tossed her hair to one side and laid down next to his side. "Remus?" There was no reply.
"Remus, this is important. More important than anything you're looking at in the bloody sky," she stated strongly.
Remus turned to her and her chocolate brown eyes just melted him. They were so warm and before he could speak she placed her lips on his. Before the kiss could deepen she removed herself and looked him dead in the eye. "You'll never know how much you mean to me and how much you do for me everyday," she said teary eyed. Remus smiled. He placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to him. He kissed her so deeply and with so much emotion that when they finally broke apart almost a minute later he left her trembling and it wasn't from the cold. They kissed once more briefly and began to get up. It was a good thing to because Sirius, James, and Lily had begun to look for them.
"When do we tell them?" asked Hermione quietly.
"When we're ready," he replied as he draped his arm around her shoulder and kissed her forehead. Her arm snaked around his waist and a new feeling she had never felt before flooded her entire body. She then realized that this is the happiest she had been in almost two years.
Sorry for the delay, lets just say life is not going my way, then again does it ever and I still have to register for the SAT's. Anywayz, thank you to all my reviewers new and old and for everyone who is sticking with this story. I love and appreciate you all.
Chapter eleven should be up in about 2 weeks (hopefully). If you have any comments or suggestions you don't want to put in your review just email me.
R.Y. LeBeau