Chapter 7: Realization
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"What do you want?"
Probably one of the most inhumane people living on earth was in Hogwarts. He had a smirk on his face and his ice gray eyes were cold and dead. He placed a hand on Severus' shoulder and held a tight grip.
"That is no way to greet a friend Severus. How are you this fine morning?"
"I know you must want something? What is it Lucius?" Severus asked.
"Well, I guess you're not as stupid as I once thought," Lucius laughed. "I want to know if you have re-thought your decision to join us. You would be a great aid to us since you are still in school."
"I told you that I was still thinking about it," said Severus.
"The Dark Lord's growing and gets impatient for your answer. There shouldn't be anything to think about." replied Lucius
"If I was caught I could be expelled. My magical education is everything to me."
"Trust me you wouldn't have to worry about that," Lucius snickered.
"Shouldn't you be worried about being caught as well?"
"No one could find that passage leading here. The spells of Salazar Slytherin protect it," Lucius paused. He turned to face the statue beside him. He whispered a spell and the wall opened up into a tunnel. "As for you," he continued, "your decision better come swiftly before you will require all the protection you can get,” he snickered. Lucius disappeared through the tunnel and the wall closed. Severus stood there not sure what to do. He knew what Lucius meant by his last statement. It was threat. If he didn't join them, they would have him eliminated one way or another. Severus put a hand to his head and walked back to the dormitory. It was going to be a long day. He couldn't stop thinking about Hermione. He couldn't stop thinking about what happened earlier that morning.
In the seventh year girls' dormitory Hermione wasn't doing any better. She slept in bed with one led hanging of and drool traveling from her mouth to the pillow. Lily tried calling out her name, but that didn't work. She then tried shaking her, but that failed too. As a last resort to wake Hermione up she used a trick that her mother used on her. She went to the bathroom and grabbed a bucket. She turned on the pipe and filled it with freezing cold water. She carefully went back in the room. The other girls looked at her suspiciously, but Lily mouthed to them to be quiet. They complied and smiled at her. Lily waited until the water was directly over Hermione and tried one more time to get her up. When it didn't work...
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Hermione screamed. Lily dropped to the floor in laughter. The other girls were laughing too. Hermione was soaking wet from head to waist. Her hair was starting to frizz and she was starting to get upset, but atleast she was awake.
"Lily I'm going to kill you!" mumbled Hermione
"What was that Hermione? It sounded a lot like, thank you for waking me up Lily. I owe you one," Lily giggled. Hermione sat in bed shivering from being cold, wet, tired, and worst of all she had to go to class.
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At breakfast the gang sat and ate as if everything was normal. Hermione however was trying to stop herself from slamming her head face first into her oatmeal. She was tired and it was visible. Remus had asked her earlier what was wrong, but she gave him no answer. She rubbed her head lightly and looked around the Great Hall. Her vision was fuzzy, but she was able to catch Severus Snape smiling at her. She smiled back as she yawned. She was still tired and sitting in a place full of food wasn't helping. She decided to get up and walk around and wake herself up before class. She excused herself from her friends and left the Great Hall. Remus insisted that she stay and try to eat something, but she didn't listen. He frowned and played with his eggs. It seemed to him that she was separating herself from him and not only him, but all her friends. The only exception might be Lily. He figured it must be a girl thing. Though he didn't notice it, at the Slytherin table Severus Snape had also gotten up and left the Hall.
Hermione was walking down one of the many corridors when she heard someone call her name. She turned around to see Severus running to meet her. She raised a brown in confusion. When he finally caught up he asked if he could join her. Not thinking that it would cause any harm she agreed and they began walking down the corridor together. It was nothing, but pure silence until Severus stopped in his tracks. Hermione gave him a questioning look and stopped as well. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. I was just thinking about something."
"What?" asked Hermione.
"Nothing important. Nothing to worry about." They walked a little longer when Severus spoke again. "Hermione, you know if you ever feel the need to speak to me about anything, you can. After last night..."
"What do you mean? Last night I had a bad dream and was a little frantic. Nothing more."
"That was more than a little frantic."
"I would appreciate if you don't bring it up."
"You just seemed a little unstable. If there is anything I can do to help you, I..."
"What? Are you trying to call me crazy?"
"Hermione I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way," he apologized. Her mind filled with disgust at the thought. When she finally collected her thoughts she looked at him. "I only have one thing to say to you. Last night when I needed someone just to care about me, you were there and I thank you for that," she admitted. "But I'm going to tell you this now so listen carefully. I was vulnerable and I ran into your arms like a sick puppy. Never expect that to happen again," she said emphasizing each word. She really didn’t know what to think of him anymore, but thought it would be best if she stayed away. She began to walk away, but turned to see if Severus would do the same. He didn't. He stood in the same spot staring at the floor. She could do nothing but turn away.
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Hermione sat very distracted in Charms. While she sat down evaluating her life and drifting off to sleep. Professor Flitwick was introducing a very important spell that would be needed for the N.E.W.T.'s. She finally slapped herself in the face and decided to pay attention. Lily noticed that Hermione seemed a bit out of it and was getting a bit worried. She might not have told anyone, but she had seen Hermione many times twisting, turning, and talking in her sleep. She sometimes wondered about the toll that being in this time had on Hermione, but she always seemed alright.
"Ms. Granger? Would you mind demonstrating the spell to us?" asked Professor Flitwick.
"Um--I don't really know how. I rather not."
"Please pay more attention Ms. Granger."
"Yes Professor."
After class Remus waited for Hermione. She walked out the class without seeing him standing by the statue of a great eagle. He walked behind her and tapped her shoulder. When she turned around he wasn't there. She shrugged and continued walking. He tapped her other shoulder and once again she looked around until she finally saw him. She smiled and punched him lightly. At first a smile graced his face, but quickly turned to a frown. Hermione saw this and gave him an odd look.
"What's wrong Remus?"
"Nothing...forget it," he replied shyly. Hermione eyed him suspiciously and continued on to her next class. Behind her Remus sighed. Come on fuzzball! When are you going to get your act together, snickered a child like voice in his head.
They day progressed in a very uneventful manner. After her little rowe with Snape earlier, Hermione decided to avoid eye contact as best a possible. At lunch, things were pretty much the same. Hermione sat by Lily, who sat by James, who sat across from Sirius, who sat by Peter, who sat by Remus. James and Sirius quarreled back and forth about quidditch. They were trying to decide whether Slytherin would be a threat for the Cup this year. Sirius said no, but James had his doubts.
"They have two spectacular beaters, a fair seeker, real good chasers, and a killer keeper. Of course they’re a threat. Listen Padfoot, you can't really think that it's going to be that easy to beat them," complained James.
"Of course I think so. This is Slytherin we're talking about here. They have nothing on Gryffindor," assured Sirius.
"Sure," replied James. "What do you think Lily?"
"I think that with you on the team, you'll definitely win." Her response took him by surprised. He blushed lightly and continued playing with his meal to avoid his friend’s ridicule.
Slowly, but surely, the day wore on and classes were soon over. Students went to their appropriate dormitories with occasional chitchat in the halls. The marauders along with Lily and Hermione headed into the common room and talked as they watched the fire cast shadows, and the shadows danced around the room. Remus headed of to Prefect duty, leaving his friends in peace.
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When Remus re-entered the common room after his patrol through the school, he didn't expect to see anyone there, since it was far past curfew. But he saw one figure sitting in the couch in front of the fire. The fire made red tints appear and disappear across Hermione’s face and she no longer looked like an innocent schoolgirl. She looked older and darker. He walked quietly to the couch and sat down. He watched her expression, hoping it would change with his appearance, but it didn't. It kept the same hard, harsh demeanor. It was then that Remus decided to speak.
"Hermione?" he said quietly.
"Hmm..."she replied not looking at him.
"What's wrong?" he finally asked.
"What do you mean? I'm fine."
"I'm tired of you saying you're okay. I tired of seeing you pretend that you’re happy when you’re not. And I hate to see you breaking in side and there's nothing I can do about it," Remus said truthfully. He waited for her to say something. When she didn't he continued. "Look at me Hermione."
At first she acted as if she didn't here a word he said. She held her head down and stared at her feet. Her hands dwindled in each other not knowing what to do. Come on! What is wrong with you? He obviously cares for your well being. Just tell him and you'll feel better, said this persuasive voice in her head.
Shut up! I don't have to listen to you, she argued to herself. Great now I really am mental. I'm here having a conversation with myself.
"Please,"he persisted.
"No," she replied.
"Please," he repeated. Hermione couldn't resist his soft, gentle voice. It was soothing to her, like a lullaby. Plus, Hermione would take any chance she got to look into those pale blue depths he calls eyes. She turned to him slowly to look him in the face. She felt like she was being stripped naked. His eyes tore through her own as if searching for something. She finally turned away. Unable to look into Remus' eyes any longer. She blinked back tears that were forming in her eyes. When she looked in his eyes, it was like a movie. Everything she had done in her life, everything she worked for, all her friends and family went through her mind. Good times and bad. One specific event that stung home was in her first year when she had first become friends with Harry and Ron. They were saving her from a Troll in the girls’ bathroom. Hermione smirked.
"Why is it that every time I look into your eyes I see pain?" asked Remus.
"I guess I wear my emotions out on my sleeve," she laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"But why?"
"Because," she replied weakly. "You're not the only on who has had thing to deal with." Her voice was soft yet fierce. "I didn't ask for all this, to be here. I didn't ask for any of it."
Remus moved closer to her. He clasped her hand in his, just to let her know that he understood. "You don't have to keep it inside. You have so many people that care for you. You have your friends back home, you have your friends here, and you have your pare..."
"Don't you dare say I have my parents," she interrupted. “My parents abandoned me long ago. After my father died, everything went down hill. I didn't ask for him to die. I didn't want to not be able to trust my own mother. I wished so hard that she'd protect me no matter what and then finally I realized that she's a coward." Hermione's eyes watered and Remus listened with intrigue. He didn't know that this beautiful, intelligent girl sitting in front of him had so much horror in her past.
"When your own mother sits there and listens to you get beaten and raped over and over again just to save herself, that's true cowardice. It wasn't my fault. It was survival of the fittest." It no longer seemed like she was speaking to Remus. It was as if she was trying to convince herself that she did nothing wrong. Hermione knew he was looking at her, but didn't care. A million and one things were running through her mind. Harry, Ron, her stepfather, being stuck with Remus, the Weasley's, Dumbledore, Hogwarts, and so much more. The last thing on her mind was how her mother was holding up. She could imagine what she was going through. But her mother has changed since her biological father died during the summer of her fifth year. Before then she would be hysteric, but now...a slight sob escaped her lips and she sniffed it back up.
They sat in silence. Neither one wanting to disturb the other or begin a conversation. Remus once again looked at her. "Hermione?" he called carefully.
"Yes," she replied plainly.
"I'm sorry if I've made you mad or uncomfortable, but..."
"I guess I wasn't good enough, or smart enough. I'm just some mudblood, right?"
His eyes also watered for the pain that he felt for her. He just wished he could take it all away. Like he could take out her heart and squeeze out all of the sadness and erase everything that has done her wrong, but he couldn't. He couldn't wash it away, but he could hold her. He moved close to her put around her shoulder, but she shoved him away.
"Hermione," he whispered as he put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a tight hug. She struggled against him. As much as she resisted he didn't let her go. She finally rested into his chest and cried.
"Shh, Shh, it's okay. I'm here for you," he assured her. He kissed the top of her head and rested his head against her soft brown hair and they both fell asleep.
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The next morning, Lily awoke to the sun shining on her face. She slowly got up to reach Hermione, but when she moved back the curtain, Hermione wasn't there. Lily looked around to the other girls in the room who were also beginning to wake. They looked at Lily and then to Hermione's bed. They also were curious as to where she was. In the boys’ dormitory, similar thoughts were running through the heads as to the whereabouts of their fury friend. Sirius suggested searching on the Marauders Map. James pulled the map out of his trunk. They found who were they were looking for immediately, but he wasn't alone.
"He's with Hermione down in the common. I guess they got up early," stated James.
"They're always looking all goggle eyed at each other, I would be surprised if they were snogging."
Sirius and James would have laughed at the statement if Peter hadn't said it in such a way that sounded scornful. Even so, they knew that Remus and Hermione weren't the type of people to do something like that. Disregarding what Peter said, they headed down to the common room. Lily had reached there before them and was staring at something. The boys walked around to the front of the couch to see Remus and Hermione in each other’s arms. James and Sirius let out a group awwwww...
At the sound of his friends Remus awakened. He looked up to see his best friends Sirius and James, with Lily right behind them. He smiled and then lightly tapped Hermione's shoulder, but she did not stir. He tried again and then she twitched, but went right back to her position. If he could have saw her face he would not have wanted to wake her. As she laid there she had a smile of content and was just so peaceful. So much different to the despair from the earlier hours. Sirius moved Hermione up a little to allow Remus to move out his spot. Hermione's body must have felt the sudden loss of body heat and she woke up. She was looking into Sirius' eyes and was really confused.
"Sirius? What are you doing here?"
"Ruining your perfect moment. Don't know why you're tired, but it's time to go." Hermione sleepily got up and looked at everyone. She saw Lily embraced her in a hug. Hermione then hugged everyone else. Then there was silence.
"So," said Sirius, "What were you two doing down here?" Hermione and Remus looked at each other and laughed.
"Talking," they said in unison.
"Really?"
"Yes Sirius, how could think of anything else." Sirius rested his arm around Remus and said, "Listen mate you don't have to lie."
"Okay Sirius that’s enough. We were talking and got tired. Now if you don't mind I'm tired. I'm going to bed."
"Um...Hermione, it's time for class. I think you just hop into the shower." Hermione groaned at the news. She really wanted to go back to sleep. She said so, walking off in a huff to get a few more minutes before Lily would bother her again. Lily gave James a small kiss on the cheek and followed her up the stairs. James, Sirius, and Remus stood there until the girls left. Remus had his head down and concentrated on the floor. He couldn't believe what he had heard and it made him realize how strong Hermione really was. He felt James tap his shoulder to leave and they all went back to the dormitory.
In the girls' dormitory Hermione had just got out of a hot shower. She walked to her bed and sat down on the bed. There were so many things running through her mind that she couldn’t clear it long enough to try and do her hair. She groaned in frustration causing Lily to check in on her.
"Are you okay Hermione?" asked a concerned Lily.
"No Lily, I'm not. I just don't feel really connected right now," she replied.
"What do you mean?"
"I feel like...It’s silly, but something happened and I guess I’m not completely over it. I don't show it, but it still hurts."
"What happened?"
"I rather not say," she said quietly. Lily decided not to go into the subject and offered Hermione a giant hug. Lily thought Hermione was one of the best girls she had ever met and just wanted her to be okay.
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In a small woods area of England was a small cottage and in that cottage was an evil that will take over the wizarding world if not stopped.
A longhaired, blonde man walked into a quiet room and stood by the fire, by a man who sat in a blood red silk chair. As the flames flicuered the man laughed. He soon stopped to turn his attention to the blonde man. "What can I help you with Lucius?"
"My lord, I have a report from the rat-face tub of lard spy you have in Hogwarts. He says he has information the should interest you."
"What is then?"
"From spying on his friends, he said he's learned that this new girl is not from our time. She is in fact from the future."
"From the future? That can't be? I think I need to have a chat with this young lady."
"But how sir?"
"Don't worry about the technicalities. I will speak with her. I want to know how much she knows. I wonder if she knows about Lord Voldemort."
"My Lord, I can get it out of her," assured Lucius. "You know I have very persuasive methods. Whether it is pain on there part or pleasure on mine," he stated licking his lips, thinking about what he could do if Hermione was in his possession. Voldemort held up his hand and waved away the idea. Then he smiled.
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Thank You to all my reviews, I truly love you all. I hope you enjoyed chapter 7. I think I owe you all an apology. I've had computer problems for the past month and only got my computer back two weeks ago and had to make sure everything is in check. Once again hopefully you all enjoyed this chapter.