Chapter 8: Confusion Is Bliss
A few days later it was rainy, gloomy and quiet. Nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Slytherin picked on Gryffindor, professors gave homework, and everything was normal. In potions the professor had once again paired the students up with the opposite house and none of them were working very nicely, except for Hermione and Serverus. They were the best students in class and since both were quiet the whole time, besides speaking about the potion, there was nothing to argue about. They finished first as usual and carried the flask up to the professor’s desk. The ten minutes left in the period were spent in silence. Hermione felt very awkward and uncomfortable around Serverus and the feeling was mutual. Finally the bell rang and Hermione speeded out of class. After Potions was lunch so Hermione went to the library instead. The boys and Lily noticed her sudden rush, but left her alone. James mentioned to them that ever since the day they found her and Remus down in the common room she acted kind of awkwardly; she had been distant from them. She stayed clear of them any chance she got. Remus was asked whether he knew what was wrong, but he said no. Though in reality, he had a strong idea what it might be.
I can't believe I really let that slip to Remus, Hermione thought as she looked through the series of books in the library. What if thinks ill of me now? He says he understands, but how could he? Maybe I should find a way to go home on my own, forget any of this ever happened. A few tears escaped Hermione's eyes. "I just don't know what to do," she mumbled as her eyes rested on a book called, Time Traveling through the Ages. Stupid Draco Malfoy! If I ever get back, I swear I'll kill him, Hermione thought as she read in the library. It was very interesting though for the most part it gave her no hope.
Lets see. If I'm able to avoid having Lily and James killed then Harry never becomes the boy who lived, he wouldn't have the troll come after, and there would be no reason for him to save my life. I guess we wouldn't even become friends, but that just doesn't fit. That means I would no nothing about James and Lily and I would have no reason to save them when I go back in time. My goodness! This is frustrating. It would be a never ending cycle. Hermione continued to read. She found to more theories on time travel, but they were no better. The paradox theory is very interesting. If what the book says is true then when it come time for me to save James and Lily, something or someone has to stop me. Hermione thought long and hard. She tried to find loop holes that could help her, but she found nothing.
Okay Hermione, you can't give up, these are just theories. You don't know what may happen. You might save them and everything will be all peachy and fuzzy and...oh what the bloody hell am I thinking. I can't do this!
Hermione finally slammed the book shut. It wasn't encouraging her; it was making her feel worst. For the past few days, she had been thinking a lot about how she was going to save her friends, past and future, from Voldemort. She had played around enough and it was time to get serious. Even thought it was only the middle of November she knew she had to do things quickly. Suddenly Hermione was snapped out of concentration by a chair moving. She looked up to see Serverus Snape about to sit in front of her. She immediately picked up the book to leave, but he stopped her with one comment. "I know the truth!"
Hermione sat back down and glared at him. She couldn’t understand how he could possibly know about her. She wouldn’t believe it. "I don't know what you’re talking about," she said trying to play it off, but it didn't work.
"You don't have to lie to me. I know that you are from the future," he said in a whisper. Hermione's eyes became wide open. He did know.
"How the bloody hell did you find out?" she questioned in a whisper.
"With this," he replied as he handed her a letter he had received a few days before.
Dear Serverus,
I don't know what the Dark Lord sees in you, but you have been picked to do a very special assignment. I know I am not wrong in saying that you know a girl named Hermione Granger at Hogwarts, and if you don't, get to know her. She is from the future and we need to find out what she knows. For now you are to become one of her friends or at least an acquaintance. Find out all you can about her in the mean time. The Dark Lord has put a lot of faith in you. I think I should've done the job myself, but it is you who has to do this duty. You don't have to report to us anytime soon. The lord has many other things to do first. Also, I know that you had not given me an answer of whether you will join us or not, but I tell you now that it is your best interest to take this offer, for it may be the last one will get...ever, if you understand me correctly. We are all counting on you.
Lucius Malfoy**
After Hermione finished reading the letter she crushed it into a ball and threw it to the ground. Her lips were trembling and she didn't know what to do. She placed her hands on her face and laid her head on the table. Serverus heard mumbling come from her, but then it became louder. She was saying no.
"Hermione, are you okay?" he asked sincerely.
“No, no, no, no...” she kept saying.
"Hermione?" he called.
“...no, no, no, no, no...”
"Hermione snap out of it. We need to..."
"What the bloody hell do you want from me!" she screamed. "My whole world is falling to pieces because of me and you want me to snap out of it."
"Hermione, I have done nothing to you so please do not yell at me. I am trying to help you. Why do you think I showed you this? Why do you think I'm telling you?"
"I don't know, maybe to start your assignment," she snapped.
"Hermione, you are an extraordinary girl who is wise beyond her years. If you just sit down, think and allow me to help you, we can beat this together."
"Why would you even want to help me?"
"You've set a change of me from the moment you were kind to me when we first met. I didn't want to hate everyone in the world anymore. And then the other night when you told me what happened to you, that's not something you can tell just anyone. That's why your the only person I ever told my secret to."
Hermione was about to say something smart, but stopped herself. He was right. He had changed. He didn't seem as quiet and secluded as he was before and didn't look as if he was like the Snape she knew. If she was going to at least try and change things and also save her own life, she was going to need his help. She bowed her head in defeat. "I guess if we're going to help each other we should first talk to Dumbledore. He needs to know what is going on."
"I agree," said Serverus.
"I don't know what to do about my friends though. I don't think they should know. I don't want to bring them into this."
"So don't, we'll do it on our own," said Serverus with a slight hint of anger in his voice. He wanted this to be with himself and Hermione alone, he didn't want the marauders to have anything to do with it. He wanted Hermione all to himself. He was really starting to develop strong feelings for her.
Hermione, unaware of what he was thinking, smiled at him nicely and held his hand. "Thanks for helping," she said gratefully and stood up. "We should go see Dumbledore as soon as possible."
"But not yet," Serverus interrupted, "We need to think things through thoroughly. I honestly confused and I don't think I have anything to do with this. I think we should wait until I get another letter that is more in detail. Then we can decide what to do." Hermione nodded her head in agreement. The would see Dumbledore another day, but for right now that had to figure out what they would do and what was going on.
Over the next couple of days Serverus and Hermione spent some time together in the library. Whenever the other had free time that is where you would fine them. At times all they did was study, not wanting to think about Voldemort or his plans. They sat near the back, in corners so that no one would see them and get suspicious. Hermione was actually starting to feel bad because one day Lily went up to her and said it seemed that she didn't wanted to be around them any more and the boys agreed. Hermione tried to explain to them, but she never made any sense. Eventually they just left her alone. She began to feel like she had no friends other than Serverus.
That weekend Serverus suggested they speak to Dumbledore since he had not received anything recently, but Hermione declined.
"I know we should, but I've been neglecting my friends, and I miss them. I'm going to spend time with them in Hogsmade this weekend."
"Oh, well I understand if you want to be with your friends," he said sadly.
"Don't get me wrong Serverus, you are my friend, but I just need time with them,” she explained.
"Alright, I'll see you again on Monday then. Same place, same time right?"
"Right," she replied as she ran back to the Gryffindor common room.
In the common room the guys were sitting on couches by the fire waiting for Peter to get down stairs. They know what Hermione told them about him, but he was still their friend. They were all going to Hogsmade to hang out and take of the stress of schoolwork.
"Wormtail needs to hurry up. I want to go to Honeydukes to see if there is anything new," said James.
"Why?" Lily asked suspiciously.
James smiled. "No reason." He put on his most angelic face causing Lily to huff.
"That's it he's taking way too long, I'm going to drag him out even if he's naked,” said Sirius.
"Please Padfoot, that's not a sight any of us want to see," said Remus and everyone laughed. At that moment the portrait hole opened and Hermione came in. She was breathing heavily and walked of to them. She rested her hand on the chair and tried to catch her breath. When she was finally breathing normally she went over to Lily and gave her a giant hug. Lily hugged her back, but was very confused. Hermione then went and hugged everyone else causing everyone to wonder if she was under a spell. She just smiled at them.
"Um, Hermione are you okay?" asked Sirius.
"I'm perfectly fine. I just wanted to hug all my friends. I know I've been very distant lately and I'm sorry. I hope you guys don't mind if I go to Hogsmade with you," she said smiling her best smile.
"I don't know Hermione; you've been gone a while. Things have changed," replied James.
"James!" warned Lily.
"I'm joking; of course you can come, now we don't have to keep Lily company. I think she's PMSing."
"James Potter I should hex you into oblivion!" Lily threatened.
"You love me too much."
"You wish."
They sat for about five minutes just talking when Peter finally appeared downstairs. He walked over to them and saw Hermione and immediately there was tension in the air. Hermione and Peter just stared at each other, not letting the other out of their sights. Remus cleared is throat to create a distraction and took Hermione's hand. "Why don't we get going? Prongs remember you want to go to Honeydukes before it gets too full.”
"Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go everyone."
The gang left for Hogsmade. A clear distance was kept between Hermione and Peter. They were trying to act as civil as possible to each other for their friends sake. After a while they finally reached Hogsmade.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh! Water! Water! I need water!" screamed Sirius. The rest of the marauders, Lily, and everyone else witnessing the events in the shop were laughing their heads off. Sirius ran around the shop in circles begging for water. After a few minutes the owner of the shop gave him some water. Sirius drank down the whole mug of it and a short time of relief. The burning in his mouth then flared up again worst than before. Once again Sirius was screaming and James was on the floor laughing. After another few minutes passed when the owner told Sirius to take this odd smelling pink potion. Sirius didn't trust it, but he was willing to try anything to get rid of the burning. He drank it down quickly and the burning in his mouth was gone. His friends still stood there laughing as he got the feeling of his tongue back.
"Ha, ha, ha, ha...Sirius...are you...are you...okay?" asked James still trying to stop laughing.
"James Potter! You may be my best friend, but that won't stop me from killing you!" exclaimed Sirius as he headed over to James. He placed a firm grip on James' throat and looked serious. Everyone in the shop was quiet, expecting something to happen. Sirius raised his hand in a fist causing everyone to gasp, but then he put it down.
"Mate, you have to tell me how much that is. That gum is serious," said Sirius letting go of James and dusting him off.
"Sure, no problem. I got scared for a minute there. I thought you were really about to hit me."
"No, never," replied Sirius.
Everyone in shop went back to what they were doing prior to the distraction. James and Sirius stayed at Honeydukes while Peter and Lily decided to get a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks. James and Sirius would meet them there later. Hermione decided to go to a bookstore she knew and Remus went with her.
In the bookshop Hermione walked around looking at different wizardry books, but then saw a section that caught her interest. It was called the Muggle Section. It was filled with book from some of the great authors. Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, and more. Remus was on the other side looking at a book about werewolves. It made him sick with disgust. The book told lies about how that even in human form they were vicious creatures. He knew it wasn't true, but sometimes it made him wonder.
"Remus, where are you?" called Hermione.
"I'm over here," replied Remus. Hermione walked through the maze of shelves and found Remus in the creatures and beasts section.
"There you are. I though I lost or you left for a second," she said smiling, but then she looked at the book he was holding.
"I wouldn't leave you Hermione." Hermione lowered her head and slightly blushed at the statement. They were such simple words, but they had such a strong meaning to her inside. They made her feel happy. After a few seconds she looked up at Remus and into his pale blue eyes. Remus was trying her to get out of her gaze, but felt trapped.
"Remus, you're a great person you know. You aren't the savage beast that they describe in these books and I'm sure that if they got they got the chance to meet you, they would change their minds in a heartbeat."
"You really think that?" he asked her.
"I know it," she assured him. Remus blinked his eyes and walked toward her. "Are you buying anything?"
"Um...no, I'm not buying anything."
"Why don't we meet Lily and Peter at the three broomsticks?"
"You just said the magic word, Peter! I'm sorry Remus, but we can't be in the same room together it just causes too much tension."
"Hermione..."
"That's it. You go ahead. I'm not taking you away from your friends. I'll come check in with you guys a little later."
"Okay, but that doesn't mean we can't walk down the street."
"True, let’s go."
Remus and Hermione left the shop. They walked down the street together. While walked Hermione saw this beautiful jewelry shop. She told Remus he could go ahead. He was somewhat reluctant, but decided to give her some space. He went of to the Three broomsticks and Hermione checked out the shop.
At the Three Broomsticks, everyone was already his or her drinking butter beers. Sirius pulled out a seat next him and Remus sat down. Remus ordered up a butterbeer and relaxed.
"Remus, where's Hermione?" asked Lily. Peter snarled at the mention of the name.
"She saw a jewelry shop she liked and said she's meet us later."
"Oh, alright."
"You have a beautiful shop here, sir"
"Thank you young lady. Perhaps you want to get a jewel for a fellow you fancy."
"Oh no. I only wish. Have a nice day sir."
"Same to you," he said as Hermione left the store. "Young people these days. They never have money," he mumbled under his breath.
Hermione walked down the street that was so busy with Hogwarts students. She was going to the Three Broomsticks. She hoped that Peter and herself could avoid confrontation. She wasn't in the mood and just wanted to be with her friends. She was getting closer and closer to the pub. She was about one store away when she walked pass an alley. She heard a strange sound coming from it and turned her head to look into it. That's when long pale arm came out and grabbed her by the neck. Hermione screamed out loud, but her screams were muffled when another hand clasped her mouth.
In the Three broomsticks, Remus was very still. He thought he heard something. He got up and began walking to the door.
"Remus? Where are you going?" asked James.
"Didn't you here that?"
"Here what?"
"That scream. It sounded like Hermione."
"What are you talking about? It was probably some third year."
"No James. I know what I heard. My ears are very sensitive. I think she might be in trouble."
"Remus calm down a bit, You seem really tense."
"No! I really think we should look for her. I can feel it. There’s something wrong."
Hermione struggled hard to get out of her captures grip, but he was too strong. She tried to get her eyes to focus on who was in front of her, but it was so dark she could barely see a thing. Then she thought about using her teeth for what they were good for. She opened her mouth just enough to take a big bite into the person's hand. He let out a hoarse yell and cursed. He removed his hand from her neck to tend to his other hand. Hermione took that time to try and run out of the alley, but the man grabbed her by the waste and brought her to the floor. Hermione screamed again hoping someone would hear her. She was her back and saw silver hair fall to her face. She knew it wasn't hers. It had to be Lucius Malfoy. When she realized this she spat in his face which made him very angry. She then used all her strength to raise her knee and kick him in the groin. Her doubled over to the floor in pain. Hermione immediately got up and ran out the alley. She turned her head back to make sure she wasn't being following. Not paying attention, she ended up crashing to the ground after bumping into someone. She scrambled to stand up and saw who it was she bumped into...Remus.
"Oh my gosh, Remus. I'm so glad your here." Hermione was on the brink of tears. She hugged Remus and held him tight. His arms enveloped around her as his hand ran down her hair and back. She was breathing heavily and he tried to calm her down, but she still felt tense and she kept looking into an alley that led behind the three broomsticks. Remus felt her trembling in his arms.
"Hermione what happened? Was that you I heard screaming?" asked Remus, but he received no answer. "Hermione answer me!" he demanded. She finally looked up at him.
"Can we go back to the school now? Please?" she whispered to him. Hermione didn't sound scared. She sounded more like she was in a trance.
"Sure," he agreed. He went back to the Three broomsticks and told their friends he was taking Hermione back to Hogwarts. They asked why, but he kept quiet. Then he left to take Hermione back to Hogwarts where she would be safe.
Back at Hogwarts, Hermione and Remus sat at the almost full, but quiet Gryffindor common room. They both sat down in a chair by the window in silence. That was normal between them. For some reason there was always this silence between them when they are together. This time, Remus was the first to speak.
"Hermione, I know you hate when I ask you this, but are you okay? You really scared me tonight," said Remus extremely concerned.
"I'm fine. I just ran into someone and I was able to get out of it. End of story."
"No, not end of story. You try to be on top of everything and you try so hard to be in control. You think I don't see it, but I do. You don't have to be strong all the time Hermione. There are times that you can just relax.
"You're right, I can't relax," Hermione admitted. "Constantly I have to be aware of what I'm doing. Aware of what I say and aware of who is around me. I am always thinking throughout the day about the future and what I have done. I’m always thinking about people I care for and their lives.” Hermione was not yelling at Remus, nor was she upset with him. She was calm and just wanted him to understand. "I really wish I could relax, but if I'm not strong for myself, then who's going to be?"
"I'll be here. If you ever need me Hermione, I'll always be here to support you."
"No you wont. Someone attacked me and I was so scared. Were you there? No you weren't. It's like being back home with my step-father. I'm always hoping that someone will come and save me and I get nothing."
Remus was speechless. He didn’t know what to say to that. His face gloomed and he stood up. "I'm sorry. I guess I'm just not good enough." He walked off and headed through the portrait hole into the dark halls.
Hermione leaned back into the chair. It was then she realized what she said and how it sounded. Immediately she got up and followed after Remus. Though by time she reached the hall Remus was already gone. She went to all the places he could possibly be and all the places he definitely would go. She found no sign of him. "Remus where are you? I'm sorry," she murmured to herself. Hermione collapsed onto the cold floors and thought about where he could be. It had to be somewhere no one could find him. It had to be the last place anyone would look for him. "I GOT IT!" screamed Hermione, which caused her to receive some very odd looks from a group of second years. She moved quickly. It wasn't in her best interest to get caught going near the Whomping Willow.
After about 20 minutes Hermione was able to safely get to her destination. She walked up the creaky stairs to the room where she had met Sirius Black face to face. She pushed open the door to find a wand in her face. Her eyes widened. "It's me."
Remus put down his wand quickly and closed the door behind her. She stepped in a little more into the room. Once again they stood in silence.
"How'd you know I was here?" questioned Remus.
"I guessed. I looked around the school, but when that failed this place popped into my head," she answered.
"Well you were right," he said walking off to sit on the bed in the corner. Hermione followed and sat next to him.
"Remus I am so horribly sorry. What I said..."
"You don't need to apologize."
"Yes I do. I had no right to go off like that. It's just that ever since my dad died, I can't seem to trust the people around me that I trust the most. Nothing goes right and...I didn't mean for what I said to come out that way. I'm just confused."
"You're confused? About what?"
"That's the problem. I don't know."
"Hermione, I meant it when I said I'll be there for you."
She lowered her head. She didn't know what to do, so she just enveloped him into a hug. "You always say that. You don't no that and your not always..." Hermione was cut short when Remus lifted her head and she felt warm lips reach hers. It felt so natural to her that she closed her eyes and just melted in the kiss. She kissed him back and placed a hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder as his arms rested on her waist. The kiss deepened and both were lost in bliss. Remus got a hold of his head and pulled away. He stared at Hermione in his arms and as much as he enjoyed it and wanted it to happen, he had to pull away.
"I'm sorry Hermione, I just...I...I just...I..."
"I think we should head back to the castle before we get into trouble,” she said smiling at him.
Remus smiled back. "I guess your right."
On the way back to Hogwarts, other than trying not to get killed by the Whomping Willow, they were both thinking.
Hermione you just made things more complicated for me. What does this mean? Does that mean you like me or did we just get caught up in the moment? I really hope it's the first one because I'm seriously falling for you. I'm so confused. I never felt this way about anyone. Hermione's just a one in a kind person. What am I thinking? I've only known her for a little over two months and I'm her professor in the future. That's a huge age difference, but they also say that age doesn't matter. Ugh...she doesn't see what she does to me.
I just don't know what to do. I like him I really do, but I just can't. Maybe he only did it to make me feel better, but it felt so real, so right. Hermione stopped to place her fingers on her lips. She could still remember the feel and the taste. It was one of the best feelings she ever felt in her life. She sighed and just hoped they got back to the castle soon.
First of all...THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND FOR THOSE THAT ARE STICKING WITH THIS STORY EVEN WITH MY HORRIBLE ABILITY TO UPDATE.
I know you guys are probably tired of all my excuses, but after this chapter you probably won't have to deal with it. I finally got a new computer and it works beautifully. Only problem is that all my stories were on the old one so I lost them. About a month later my best friend remembered that I sent all the chapter to my email and I was able to recover it from her computer. Now here comes the miserable part, the chapter 8 that I was planning to put up wasn't sent to my email and it was the first draft of that chappie in my email. So of course I got mad and I've spent the last 3 weeks trying to get it to how it was. It's not exactly how I wanted, but close enough. THANKS again. ^_^