A sheet of dark red hair fell across her face as Lily pressed her nose against the smooth, cool glass of her bedroom window, where raindrops gathered into streams and slowly trickled down. A steady rain fell outside, pattering and splishing unhurriedly. Lily sighed quietly; gazing at the growing puddles outside, then turned away from the window and threw herself onto the bed. There was literally nothing for her to do while she was cooped indoors. She had read and reread all her books, and Tami had gone away with her father for two weeks. Petunia had some summer job that she was being all mysterious about, and even though Lily was dying to know what it was, she wouldn't beg to find out.
Okay, that wasn't strictly true. She had already begged, and that hadn't worked, so she had been forced to resign herself to the fact that Petunia wasn't going to tell her what her mystery job was anytime soon. Besides, Lily didn't care. Not really. Let Petunia have her secrets. Merlin's beard, Lily definitely had some of her own...
She lay on her back with her hands folded behind her head, eyes closed as her mind drifted back to that conversation she had had with that Lupin boy just before they left Hogwarts.
"Evans!" A hand clutched her arm and dragged her down a mostly deserted hallway. Lily saw one third year glance up curiously as Lupin grabbed onto her.
"What…Lupin? What do you want?" she asked, as he led her to a broom closet and promptly shut the door behind them.
"Lupin?" Her voice emerged with a half-laugh underlying the words. "You do realize this looks kinda...dodgy, right?"
He just stared at her, his face mostly in shadow. A bit of afternoon light crept in under the door, but not enough for Lily to see Lupin clearly. "Lumos!" said Lily, lighting her wand and holding it aloft. "Lupin? You okay?"
She was starting to become just a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation. What if someone saw them go in? Or come out together? What would everyone think? She tried hard to keep herself from tapping her foot, and said somewhat anxiously, "Will you please tell me what's going on?"
"Do you..." Remus began hoarsely, and then cleared his throat. "Do you remember...er, in the Hospital wing, when you made me promise to tell you--?"
"Of course!" Lily interrupted. She hadn’t forgotten how, a few days ago, she had basically coerced Lupin into promising that he would tell her where he really went every month… "Your secret! So, what is it?"
He looked up into her expectant eyes, and she was surprised at the vulnerable expression she saw in his.
"What is it?" she asked in a softer voice, and suddenly she felt a strange foreboding. Whatever this secret was, she didn't want to know. With a sudden certainty, reinforced by the odd look on Remus' face, she abruptly realized that this secret was too big, too dangerous for her to know. She saw Remus open his mouth again to speak, and she almost told him to stop...but she didn't. Her mouth stayed shut, her eyes wide open.
"I'm...different than you are, Evans," he said.
“Well, of course you are,” she said teasingly. “You’re a boy, and I’m a girl. That’s different.”
“No, Evans…don’t…there’s nothing remotely funny about this,” he said hoarsely.
She grew somber when she heard his tone of voice. He sounded terrible.
“So…different, huh? How do you reckon that? Are you somehow…er…ill?" she asked, sympathy filling her completely.
"In a way, yeah."
There was a beat of silence. Their eyes met briefly over the glow of her wand.
"Actually...no. I'm a perfectly healthy human being...most of the time." Then he froze, waiting for her reaction.
She shook her head. "I don't understand."
"I..." He laughed bitterly. "Okay. I'm afraid to tell you. I know what you'll do after I tell you. You'll run, as fast and as far as you can. And the worst part? If you were me and I was you, I'd do the exact same thing."
"What...what are you?" she said at last, her voice low and shaking. Her heart was pounding fast and loud.
"I'm… a werewolf."
With a loud gasp, Lily dropped her wand. It clattered into a corner and suddenly the closet was shrouded in shadows. She stretched out a hand for it and touched Remus, who had been reaching for it as well. With a small shriek, she jumped back, fumbling for the bolted door.
"Open the door! Let me out!" she yelled, terrified. He clapped a hand over her mouth, stifling another shriek. Once more she was very aware of her racing heart. She felt it pulse in her neck and wondered if Remus could hear it, too. She wondered if it made him want to attack her right now...she didn't know very much about werewolves, but she did know that they were seemingly regular people who changed shape into murderous, bloodthirsty wolves. And now she was locked in a dark broom closet with one.
"Lily...please," he said brokenly, slowly removing his hand.
"No," she gasped. "Don't talk to me...just let me out."
"Evans, I need to explain. Please let me explain. I promise I can't, won't hurt you now."
He gave her back her wand, which he had retrieved from the dusty floor, and all of a sudden she felt quite silly, though still terrified. "You're not going to change now?" she asked slowly.
Remus shook his head. "I only change when the light of the full moon strikes me."
"And when's the full moon?"
"In three weeks. Evans, I would never hurt you willingly. Or anyone else. This is what I am trying to explain...this is my secret. Every full moon, I go away so that I won't hurt anyone by accident."
She nodded mutely, realization slowly sinking in. He wasn't going to hurt her. Not right now, anyway.
"Do you understand?"
She nodded again.
"And you can't tell anyone. Swear to me that you won't tell anyone. You have to swear it, Evans!"
"I..." How would she keep this secret? How in Merlin's name would she control herself from blurting it out? And how would she explain her sudden fear of Lupin to her friends? Because she realized, without a doubt, that she would be avoiding Lupin from now on. Some part of her knew that he wouldn't hurt her. But a bigger part of her was horrified. A voice in her head was chanting, ‘Run, run, run!’
"I swear I won't tell anyone," she said at last, and Remus let out a long breath.
"And I dunno if--"
"Do you think you--"
"Go ahead." Remus lifted his lips into a small, sad smile. "What were you going to say?"
"Well, it's just..." She bit her lip hard, avoiding his eyes. "I just don't know if..."
"I know," he said. "You don't know if you'll be able to treat me normally again. Well, that's a fairly normal reaction for you to have."
For all the normality of the situation, he still looked very upset and disappointed. Lily just felt like hugging him, to dispel some of the frustration in his eyes. She wanted to assure him that everything would be okay, let him know that she wasn't afraid...but she couldn't. She was afraid. Tears rose to the surface and she blinked them back. "I'm sorry."
Remus shook his head. "Just...Merlin." He ran a hand over his face. "Just think about it, okay? Think about it over the summer, and maybe when we get back..."
"Maybe," she echoed. Maybe, after the summer, she would be able to look at him without judging him, talk to him without her adrenaline pumping. But now, she just wanted to leave, get away from him.
"I'm sorry," she said again, and stumbled out of the closet, squinting against the sudden light. She didn't look back as she trudged down the corridor, her heart heavy with Remus' secret.
Lily groaned, rubbing her eyes. She had fallen asleep in the quiet afternoon. She combed her hair with her fingers, wincing as her left hand, which had fallen asleep, prickled uncomfortably. Then she stood up, heading for the kitchen. She took out a can of tuna and opened it with an electric can opener, smiling wryly as she thought of her wizarding friends. They would laugh and ask odd questions if they saw what she was doing. After fixing herself a plate of tuna, tomatoes and pickles, she carried it up to her room, ignoring the internal reminder that spoke in her mum's voice: ‘Lily, no food in the bedroom, please!’
As she ate, she thought about Lupin. She remembered how upset he was when he realized that she was just as afraid of him as he worried she would be. She hadn't seen or spoken to him for nearly two months, and had gotten over her fear, somewhat. But she dreaded meeting him again. Lily feared that the moment she saw him, all the panic and terror would come rushing back...and she didn't want that to happen. If anyone needed a friend at Hogwarts, it was Lupin.
Ignoring another chastening inner voice, Lily licked the fork, and then her fingers, clean. She decided that she would try her hardest to get over her fear of Lupin. After all, she couldn't be his friend if she was terrified of him.
Miles away in Scotland, Dani, her brother Justin and her best friend Scott were fooling around, racing their broomsticks on a secluded moor. The sun beat down almost harshly, and they were all tanned from spending hours out in the sunlight. Scott pulled up ahead of Dani and cheered loudly for himself.
“Woohoo, I won! Told you I would!”
“Ah, c’mon mate, that’s not exactly fair,” said Justin. “You have the fastest broom, that ya do.”
“Exactly,” said Dani. “Switch brooms with one of us, and then you’ll see who’ll win!” She grinned, and then mouthed at Justin, ‘Me.’
“Okay, then, I have no problem with that,” Scott said jovially. “Come on down and we’ll switch.”
As they zoomed downwards, Dani suddenly felt dizzy. They hadn’t been very high, just about fifteen feet above the ground, but all of a sudden the ground seemed miles away. Dani couldn’t focus…everything in her sight grew hazy…and then she blacked out completely.
“Whoa!” Justin shouted. “Is she okay?” He had seen Dani slump forward on her broom. Just in time, Scott reached out for her as she began falling off, and pulled her onto his broom. Justin grabbed Dani’s abandoned broom and hurtled to the ground while Scott and Dani followed more slowly.
“Dani! Dan! You okay? Dani, wake up!” her brother yelled frantically when they touched down.
“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Scott asked, his eyes frantic. “Is she breathing?”
One minute later they had established that she was indeed breathing, but still unconscious. “What do we do? Carry her home?”
“I suppose…I dunno what happened to her! One minute she was perfectly fine, and the next…”
Justin had just gathered her into his arms, prepared to carry her the whole twenty-minute walk home, when she stirred in his arms, groaning.
“She’s saying something!”
“What…what the hell happened?” she asked hoarsely.
“That’s what we’d like to know!” Justin retorted sharply, his expression creased with worry. “How do you feel?”
“Like a troll bashed my head in,” she said slowly. “My head is absolutely pounding. Feels like it’s on fire.”
“Just a headache, then?”
She nodded slowly. “A headache. But not just a headache. A really, really bad one. Let’s go home.”
“Not gonna argue with that,” Scott muttered, his blue eyes wide with concern, and the two boys began heading for home with Dani beside them, leaning on them occasionally for support. She still saw black spots every few seconds and was afraid of collapsing again.
“There we are, almost home,” Justin said at last.
“Yeah, home,” Dani echoed, and then her vision blurred. “I think it’s happening again…” she moaned, her voice low, and then she crumpled, the boys barely catching her before she fell to the ground.