My life is a mess, she wrote.
And I don’t want you to come home because of it. I can work it out on my own. I know that you and Chastity are worried about me, but you don’t have to be. I’m perfectly capable of managing my own life. I’ll keep you updated, but you stay where you are!
Hugs and kisses,
Verity
The fair-haired girl laid her pen aside and looked down at the note paper. She put the letter into the envelope then stood up from the writing cabinet and stretched. She looked around and shook her head, she would have never imagined she had to move back here. Not that she hated the place, but it awoke certain memories she was trying hard to forget.
“Verity!” She heard her mother’s voice, one of the reasons she wanted to stay away from the house. For one fleeting moment she considered disobeying, but she knew she wasn’t the rebel kind of girl anymore.
“Yes, Mother?” she asked, after hurrying into her mother’s bedroom.
“Where were you?” her mother demanded, sounding suspicious and accusatory at the same time.
“I was here, Mother. I was writing a letter to Faith,” Verity explained.
“Alright. Go to the kitchen and make sure that those elves don’t leave out the honey from the cake.”
“Yes, Mother,” Verity said dutifully and left the room.
But she didn’t go to the kitchen, because she knew the house-elves were very reliable and she didn’t want to bother them, they had enough to do. She went looking for Velox, the family owl, and gave him the letter she wrote.
“To Faith,” she said. ‘Wherever she might be,’ she added in thought.
Verity couldn’t decide what to do, so she chose the easier way and went back into the family room to watch her TV. But finding a channel that actually wasn’t disturbed by magic was an attempt in vain. She didn’t even know why she had bothered to call the cable company. A day’s work for nothing, for she had to clear the room before and ask for her cousin’s help to conceal everything else that might have looked suspicious. Giving up with a sigh, she grabbed the newspaper she had bought yesterday and opened it up. She looked for the job ads, which had become almost like a habit. But then she remembered she no longer needed a job, because she had one, thanks to Charlie Weasley, Faith’s colleague and best friend. Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes was a wonderful place to work, and the shop-owners were really nice. For the first time in her life, she had a good boss, (bosses, to be precise). Not that the job at 93 Diagon Alley didn’t contribute to her problems.
It was because of the nature of the job that she had had to leave her flat. The flat she shared with her boyfriend. The boyfriend who didn’t trust her enough. The boyfriend with whom she wanted to have a family. The boyfriend from whom she had to endure the most outrageous insinuations, after refusing to give him the phone number of her workplace. And the boyfriend who, after a particularly nasty fight, told her to leave their home.
Just thinking about Egan drove Verity to the verge of tears. She thought she had finally found her lifetime partner. She should have known better. A Squib could never have such luck. For the first time in her life, she wished she could have magical powers. She wished she could blow something up or that she could disappear into a foreign country where she could start over. But no, she had to come back to her mother’s place, because first, she didn’t have the courage, and second, because she couldn’t afford it. Verity had absolutely no money. All her savings had been used up for the renovation of the flat she had with Egan. And although she hadn’t been very brave, she phoned Egan and asked him to transfer some money. Unfortunately, and she knew that the best, Egan himself had almost no money, so he couldn’t pay her out. So her only other option was this place.
After their break-up, she finally had the time to think things over and she decided she would live in the Wizarding World. She already had to make a similar decision after leaving Art College a few years ago. She decided for the Muggle world back then. But, after the latest events in her life, Verity had to realize that although wizards looked down on Squibs like her, they at least understood what she was, what her family was. Although she recognized that her recent decision was not a very wise one, given the circumstances with a power-hungry, evil, dark wizard on the loose, she decided that she wouldn’t return to the Muggle world anymore, and that she wouldn’t take back those words she said to her mother. Verity never let her mother to interfere in her life. Not back then when she was a child, and certainly not now that she was an adult herself.
When Verity turned eleven she knew there wouldn’t be any owls bearing her letter from Hogwarts. Looking back, she recognized that she was even relieved. She was spared the necessity of proving herself like Chastity had to do after seeing Faith’s and Hope’s top grades at Hogwarts, she was spared the struggle with controlling her magic like it was with Faith and she was spared the pain of choosing between her family and friends like in Hope’s case. Until recently, she had never done any magic in her life. And that bit of magic was so weak, so feeble, that she wouldn’t even call it magic.
No one noticed that the little bottle of nail polish skidded off the counter like it was pulled by invisible strings, and no one knew that practically it was Verity who poured nail polish onto Mrs. Wilkinson’s coat. But she was sure that the ensuing commotion did save her life. After she spotted Hope’s best friend from school and remembered she had been in Slytherin, she felt like her world was being invaded. She felt the terror that she read about in the Daily Prophet’s interview with a witness of the Death Eaters’ latest raid. That’s when the little bottle started moving on its own.
When Voldemort returned, Hope visited Verity one last time. She said that Frederic, her husband, was taking her away and they wouldn’t come back until it was over. Hope, her second oldest sister, had married a pureblood wizard and then detached herself from the family, mainly because of her, Verity, but also because Chastity had married a Muggle-born wizard. Fortunately, Frederic was no Death Eater, but the couple had friends among them. On that night her sister warned her of Death Eaters and Slytherins. Hope told her that she had already advised Chastity to leave England with Meical and their kids, but their sister refused.
So when Verity saw Livia Yaxley entering the beauty shop, where she had been working, she panicked. And then it happened. It was accidental magic, and no one noticed it except Verity. In the pandemonium, she absconded and only went back after Livia had left the shop. Although no one saw her doing magic, everyone blamed her, because she was the one who forgot to screw back the cap. Mrs. Wilkinson demanded compensation and because it was a very expensive fur coat, Verity had been fired at once.
Suddenly, green flames appeared in the fireplace, startling Verity out of her memories. A blonde witch stepped out of it and after carefully sweeping off the ash, she looked around. Verity was already there and, seeing her sister’s green complexion, she began rubbing her back gently.
“Better now?” she asked after a few minutes.
“Thanks, dear,” her sister said and hugged her.
“It’s so good to see you, Chastity!” Verity cried out, sounding relieved.
“Well, I was worried sick about you and here you are lazing around on the sofa,” Chastity told her teasingly.
“It’s my day off, I have a new workplace at Diagon Alley,” she informed her proudly.
“I know. I spoke to Faith about you, she told me Charlie helped you,” Chastity replied, after a nod.
“Yes, he did. I’m okay,” Verity tried to sound convincing.
“Liar,” Chastity said mockingly and then sat down with a tired sigh.
“How are you? And how are my nephews?” Verity inquired, watching her sister’s movements with some anxiety.
“They are okay, they had the flu, but Meical whipped up some potion and they are fine now. He is barely at home though,” Chastity told her, her tone soft as she spoke about her husband.
“I assume that being a Healer during a war is hard,” Verity stated the obvious.
“St. Mungo’s is already full,” Chastity said with a nod.
“And how are you?” her little sister asked, not even trying to conceal her concerns.
“I would like to know when the little miss,” Chastity began, caressing her belly, “wants to come out.”
“I thought you had one more month,” Verity said, looking at her sister’s belly appraisingly.
“Which is true, but I would like to see my legs again. I don’t know why, but I like to tie my shoelaces the Muggle way,” her sister said, smiling broadly.
Verity laughed and then asked her sister if she wanted something to drink.
“Tea would be good,” Chastity told her and Verity ran into the kitchen to bring tea.
Some minutes later, she placed a tray onto the little table in front of the sofa.
“Thank you, dear. And now, back to you,” Chastity said, looking at her sister earnestly.
“Really, Chastity, you shouldn’t” Verity started, but Chastity interrupted her.
“I don’t want to nose into your life, but you are my sister. It pains me to see you in pain,” Chastity said compassionately.
“I’m okay,” Verity stated, sounding only half-convincing.
“You should practice saying that. Maybe then you would be able to believe it yourself,” Chastity told her, her tone indicating that she wouldn’t tolerate any more fudging. She knew her sister, she was always like this.
“Fine, I’m not okay,” Verity admitted, but then added hastily, “but I don’t think you could do anything about it.”
“Is it Egan who pains you?” Chastity inquired.
“No. Yes. I don’t know,” Verity said, unable to decide how to voice her feelings. “I hate him sometimes and sometimes I miss him. But I could never forgive him. He was so cruel! And it’s all because I’m a Squib,” she added with a bitter undertone.
“What’s that got to do with it?” Chastity asked surprised.
“I couldn’t tell him where I was working. He asked for the phone number and when I told him there are no telephones at my workplace he laughed into my face. And then he called me names,” Verity sobbed. “The first time in my life I could not bear being a Squib.”
Chastity sighed and then caressed her sister’s back soothingly.
“You are right, I can’t do anything about it,” Chastity admitted with a small defeated sigh.
“I’m sorry. I was always a problem for this family. For Mother and Father, for Hope and even for you,” Verity said, after wiping away the tears.
“For me?” Chastity asked back incredulously, her eyebrows arched to show her amazement.
“I know you were anxious before Gawain and Drystan showed any signs of magic. You were afraid of them being Squibs,” Verity stated, convinced.
“That’s not true. At least, not the way you think,” Chastity added, seeing Verity’s face. “Yes, I was anxious. I didn’t want them to be Squibs, because Squibs are trapped between two worlds and I didn’t want that for them. Meical and I spoke about that. If one our kids doesn’t turn out to be a wizard or witch, we will move into a Muggle neighbourhood.”
“I thought you liked Hogsmeade,” Verity told her, looking at her sister questioningly.
“I like it very much, but I won’t do to one of my kids what Mother did to you, Verity,” Chastity said solemnly.
“I had no problems with being a Squib,” Verity attested.
“I know, but still,” Chastity said with a nod. “You couldn’t invite your friends over, because of the magical objects and the elves in the house. You could never tell them which school we were attending.”
“That’s true. But I always lied to them. It was fun to think out all those stories,” Verity added with a little smile.
“Why didn’t you lie to Egan then?” Chastity asked curiously.
“Well, that’s something completely different,” Verity told her. “I thought I would have a family with him.”
“Why haven’t you told him where you work and what you are?” Chastity inquired, awaiting her sister’s answer with interest.
“Not when a war is raging. I guess I didn’t want him to worry about me. I think he would have downright forbidden me to work there,” Verity speculated loudly.
“Okay, if you’re sure I cannot help you, I should get going,” Chastity said and stood up hesitantly. After Verity shook her head, she hugged her little sister.
“Sure thing,” Verity said and then added, “hugs to the kids and greetings to Meical. I’ll stop by when I get my life under control again.”
“Do that,” Chastity said and vanished into the green flames.
Verity went into the kitchen to check on the dinner. Everything was going smoothly, so she decided to go up into her own room. She had the top-most room in the house, and that was pretty much the only part of the house she really liked. She looked around and noticed how she kept everything magical out of her room. She shook her head and went into the storage room. She thought if she wanted to be a part of the Wizarding World, she had to start acting like she was. She rummaged in a trunk for a certain object she knew it should be there. It was a magical mirror her father had given her for her sixth birthday. It had been his last gift to her, before he died of dragon pox. After she found it, she dusted off the old mirror and brought it into her room. She took down the picture of the Swan Princess and hung the mirror onto its place. She leaned over to look into it, but then suddenly shrank away from it when it started to speak.
“Finally!” her mirror-image said and stretched. “I was locked into this mirror for ages! Why did you do that?” she asked and looked at Verity, accusingly.
“Well, I” Verity started to say, but she was rudely interrupted.
“You are me,” she warned her.
“I was you,” Verity corrected.
“Don’t try to lie to me,” her image added and then looked at her with a frown. “You have changed.”
“I told you, you aren’t me anymore,” Verity said with some satisfaction in her voice.
“Well, I will adapt soon. And in any case, you were better off when you were,” the image stated.
“Maybe,” Verity said with a sigh, and then flopped down onto her bed.
“Daydreaming won’t solve any of our problems,” the mirror-image told her.
“You know, I think in some ways I have improved. You have terrible manners.”
“You told them you didn’t have any problems with being a Squib, but your little heart’s desire was to be a witch,” the image told her, completely ignoring her remark.
“That’s not true!” Verity cried out.
“You have experienced what magic feels like and now you want to be a witch,” the mirror-image pressed on.
“No, I was frightened!” Verity shrieked. “I was scared,” she whispered then. “I don’t want to do magic. I don’t want to know how to kill someone with a single spell,” she said and saw her mirror-image cringe.
They shared that memory. Verity was only six years old when she witnessed something she never talked about to anyone. One evening she couldn’t sleep and ventured down from her room. She heard distant noises from the family room, so she peeked inside. Her mother and father were sitting there and the house-elf named Tooty was standing in front of them. Verity couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but she could very well imagine what’s going on. She had stood in front of that ‘committee’ many times. Verity couldn’t guess why her mother drew her wand, but then suddenly she was blinded by a green lightning. She almost passed out, her head felt so dizzy. After she saw Tooty’s rigid body lying there motionless, she fled back upstairs and confessed everything to her new mirror. The two of them made a vow not to use any magic, ever. She was extremely grateful when she found out that she was a Squib.
“Then why are we suddenly unsatisfied with being a Squib?” the other Verity asked.
“It’s because of Egan,” Verity started to explain. “I just”
“Remember, we were a Squib before Egan and we’ll be a Squib after Egan,” her mirror-image cut her off. “No changes in that. Besides, we didn’t like wallowing in self-pity.”
Verity looked over at the mirror and saw her other self looking back with interest.
“You are right. I’m a Squib and I’ll always be. I have known that since my childhood. I guess I just needed to be reminded. And yes, I hate to pity myself. Thanks!”
“Don’t thank me, thank you,” the image said, somewhat gruff. “I am you, after all.”
Verity trotted down to the family room and took a parchment from the writing cabinet. She dipped the quill into the ink pot and began scribbling a letter for Faith.
Thanks to my wonderful Beta Lys! She was such a great help!
This can be seen as a companion piece to my other fic, His Verity.