Dedicatory: Around 2 weeks ago, the brother of my aunt's husband passed away. I really didn't know him, but this event made me reflect on death; this story came from the reflections. So, this chapter was written on his memory.
“Ginny, get ready to go. We are leaving in ten minutes,” Mrs. Weasley’s voice came through the stairs of the burrow.
Ginny, who was staring through the window, watching how the rain hit the gloomy landscape, sighed deeply. She wanted nothing more than to talk to him, but it pained her so much to see him. Nevertheless, she knew that she would keep going to him, as long as he needed her, and as long as she needed him. A sad smile crept into his face because she knew she would always need him; that was her blessing and her curse.
While she walked into her room, she slammed the door with force as the unfairness of the whole situation entered her mind. She changed her clothes in silence despite the scream of anguish she could feel trying to escape her throat.
When she finally walked downstairs and joined the rest of her family, the rain was hitting more violently against the glass of the windows, while the thunders were striking powerfully the ground at the distance.
A sudden flash produced by a lightning made Ron’s downcast eyes even gloomier. They were the window to his soul. Her mother looked at him worriedly but said nothing. Ron had turned so silent. He was no longer the enthusiastic boy he used to be, and not even quidditch would distract him anymore. The pain behind his eyes was too much to look at, and Ginny’s heart felt even heavier at the sight of him.
Her father was near the chimney with her mother. He had tried to be optimistic and to sound unworried, but they all knew it was an act. His eyes were full of sadness as he stared into the dancing flames, lost in his own thoughts. She knew her father was trying to be strong for them, but they were already beyond repair.
Not very far from the chimney were the twins sitting on the couch. Both of them were still and quiet, something that made the whole situation even more disturbing. A long time had passed by without even one prank by them. They would just go to their room and stay there most of the day. Their visages had never been so cloudy, and their playful spirit seemed to be already grieving.
“Where are Bill and Charlie?” Ginny asked to the silent room. Everyone seemed to come out from their mental reveries, but the sadness couldn’t just be washed away.
“They are already at St. Mungo.” Her father informed her. “They are going to wait for Hermione and her parents.” He glanced at his watch and added, “we…we better be going now. He must be waiting for us.”
Everyone silently stood up and walked to the chimney, where Mr. Weasley was offering them Floo Powder from a little leather bag. They all took a small pinch and threw it into the flames that soon turned an emerald green. Just like his eyes, Ginny thought somberly. Only she and her father were left, and as she was about to grab some Floo Powder, her father gently took her hand.
“Ginny, I know it’s hard for you,” he said with a comprehensive voice, but also reflecting a deep pain. “But he needs you, Ginny. Be strong for him.”
Ginny took a pinch of Floo Powder and threw it into the fire. She then gazed into her father’s eyes. “I need him too, dad. You don’t know how much.” With that, she stepped into the flames and disappeared in an instant.
Mr. Weasley stared at the place where his daughter had just been. It was just not fair. “I know how much, Ginny,” he said with misery. “It’s called love, honey.”
He placed the leather bag back in the shelf while the storm raged outside with fury, and then followed his daughter into the flames.
“He’s dying, Ginny.” Charlie softly muttered, with his arm wrapped comfortingly around her shoulders, “and there’s nothing to do, but to wait.”
They were sitting in one of the waiting rooms in St. Mungo’s Hospital with everyone else, but Ginny and Charlie were a little bit parted from the rest. The white lights from the room were almost too white for their mood and seemed to cast a cold light over the hurting members.
Remus had just walked into his room. They didn’t know how much they would wait, but they all sat patiently. Hoping and dreading to see him one last time.
“The healers don’t think that…that he will survive the night,” Charlie continued to inform. His voice sounded empty for his soul was numb. He was hurting very deeply. A long time ago he had started seeing Harry like his brother, not just a boy. “It would be good if you said goodbye to him today, Gin.”
Charlie’s words, although only confirmed something she had already known, hit her with the force of a hammer; the terrible force of the truth. She felt her very soul aching at his words.
Ginny slowly raised her eyes to meet his sorrowful gaze. After months of feeding hope, it had all come to an abrupt end. Very deep inside she knew that it was true. Tomorrow’s light would not find him with them anymore.
“Arthur…I can’t do it. I just can’t…” Mrs. Weasley muttered with a pleading voice. Her husband was waiting for her to enter Harry’s room, but she couldn’t bring herself to take the steps towards it. The tears were already washing her face.
“Molly, you can do it. He needs you,” Mr. Weasley placed his arm around her shoulders and caressed her soothingly. “You are the closest thing he ever had to a mother. Be strong, Molly…for your son.”
Everyone in the waiting room watched the exchange in silence, some for respect, others because they were too tormented with thoughts of loneliness. The air hovering between them couldn’t express the silent scream within their souls.
Mrs. Weasley slowly walked towards his room. It seemed that every step caused her a tremendous effort. Yet, Mr. Weasley never left her side. He supported her in every step, in every dreadful second. They finally reached the door, and Mr. Weasley opened it. Then they disappeared behind it, and the waiting room sunk again in the waves of silence, pulling all the members with it.
The seconds slowly drifted by, and the only sounds of the room were the sobs from time to time.
Lupin was crumpled in a chair. He seemed to have aged in just some minutes. He had entered before anyone to see Harry, but after he walked out he seemed to be so fragile and senile. His ashen face was covered with tears for a friend, for a brother. He hadn’t been able to articulate a word, nor had anyone asked him anything. He was just sitting in his chair, while the tears were silently running through his face. His heart was heavy, and his happiness seemed forever gone.
Ginny tore her gaze from Lupin and inclined her head, staring at her hands on her lap. She would need all her strength today, just for the last time.
“He is asking for you, Ginny,” Mrs. Weasley told her with low voice. “He wanted you to be the last before…” Her voice broke, and she couldn’t end the sentence. Instead, she buried her face on her husband’s shoulder and let all the pain and sorrow to flow through her tears.
Ginny glanced at the other members in the room. Each one of them had already talked with him. Charlie and Bill had entered together and after half an hour they had returned very pale and weak. They were now sitting with Fred and George, who were crying in silence. Percy had surprisingly appeared, and even though there had been some hesitation of whether letting him in or not, Harry had called for him too. Percy was sitting in a corner of the room, but it was not only anguish what his soul was harboring, but also an immense regret.
Her parents were at her side. Her mother leaned on her father for comfort and strength while her father cried silently with eyes that showed incredible suffering.
Ron and Hermione were sitting apart from everyone. Ron was crying with force for he felt his own soul shattering. For everyone’s surprise, he had laid his head on Hermione’s shoulder, seeking rest and a loving hand, which Hermione gave. Hermione was mourning too, with such pain that Ginny could feel her heart trembling. They were going to lose a friend, a part of their hearts, and they were getting ready for the end. It was something terribly hard to cope with.
Hermione’s parents sat respectfully away from the others, as they weren’t grieving as terribly as those who had known him. The room was filled with sorrow, and no one seemed strong enough to articulate a word. It was a hurting picture enclosing more than a hundred tears.
Ginny wasn’t sure what she was feeling. It was the surreal scene that made her feel numb, or more accurately, empty. She couldn’t feel anything, only a pulsing sense of loneliness because not even the joy of victory could help the agony of the price. Her mind didn’t want to process the fact the he was going to die, and she was going to stay…alone.
She would never know how she stood up and walked valiantly to his room. Maybe it was the numbness that allowed her to move, to live. Sorrow would have restrained her from breathing.
The next thing she knew, she was standing in front of his door, facing the inevitable. The door knob clicked as she opened the door. The silence was so deep and tangible that she could have sworn she heard her heart beat.
The room was small, and there was only one bed and a couple of chairs in it. A small window at the right gave the only light in the room, as Harry didn’t want any other lights on. The walls were painted with a soft tone of green, trying to bring a bit of joy for the patient, but it was useless; it was the wing for terminal patients.
Her eyes landed on the man she loved. He was lying on the bed, and even though he was staring at the ceiling, he knew it was his Ginny who had come in. As she stared at him momentarily before taking a seat, memories from another visit came to her mind. It had been the day when they had known that he was beyond healing; the day when the light had turned into darkness.
Harry was lying on his bed, facing the wall. He hadn’t wanted to talk to anyone; he only wanted to be left alone. But Ginny had dismissed his request rapidly and was now standing at his door, waiting.
“Harry?” She asked hesitantly. She knew she couldn’t even imagine the pain he was feeling, but she would have willingly taken all that pain upon herself if it meant to relieve him.
He didn’t answer, but neither did he ask her to leave, so she ventured forth into the room and sat in the closest chair to him. She remained quiet, giving him the time he needed to gather himself. After half an hour, he finally asked her something she would never forget, “Is there something else, Ginny?”
“What…what do you mean, Harry?” She questioned, not sure of what he was asking. He finally turned himself to face her. Only then she saw the tears washing his face.
“After death…is there something else?” He asked in a whisper. “I’m afraid, Ginny…what if everything ends…after death.” His question struck her with sadness and grief, but it was the fear tormenting his face that made it unbearable. She took some time, hefting her answers, before she replied.
“I don’t know, Harry,” she whispered in answer with a troubled voice. The tears were running freely down her face, but she didn’t care. “The only thing I do know is that my love for you will not end after death. I will continue to love you, even after death.”
Ginny watched how, while her words sunk into him, the fear on his face turned into reflection, and finally into hope. He then turned his face to the ceiling in deep thought.
“Then there is something,” he whispered back. His eyes that had been cloudy were now clear; the fear had gradually left his face to give space to melancholy and hope. It seemed that somehow he had just accepted his death, fearless and in peace.
The next time she had visited him, he had given her a poem; a poem that flowed from the depths of the soul of an agonizing love. Too many nights she had slept repeating the words, while the tears coursed her face.
If it is true that there’s something else
I will wait for you
I need to rest
Your love I will take
I’m going to a place
Where time is an illusion
The breeze is colored
The voice music
And the sun is made of cotton
I will go through the light
In form of eternity
My voice will be silenced
My body will be yesterday
In drops of soul I go
Sailing to the end
Don’t doubt that when looking
Inside you
You can find me
You will find me
When your time is gone
It is time to go
Prepare your trip well
Don’t be afraid and go
Don’t cry any more for me
I’m always near you
I’ll wait you in the light
There where there’s no
There is no pain.
Now, his time had come. He was in peace, yet with the deepest wishes to stay. Tragically, his premature trip couldn’t be postponed, no matter how much they desired it to.
Her mental reverie stopped when she studied his face and arms. His skin was marked by several more bruises than she remembered; sequels of the terrible battle that had ended with Voldemort’s reign of chaos. Unfortunately, Voldemort cast too much dark magic on him, causing irreversible and degenerative damage to his body. He was now at the threshold of death, and yet his face was the picture of peace and resolution.
She quickly rushed to one of the chairs at the side of his bed, and as she slowly sat, she looked intently into his eyes. She could see the emotion vibrating in his eyes, and she knew that hers were just a mirror. They just stared at each other for minutes that felt like seconds, exchanging internal pain and deep wishes.
At the end, all the pain she had been feeling all the past days materialized into her soul, searing her heart. Silent tears were shed from her eyes.
“Why did you have to sacrifice yourself, Harry?” She asked him with anguish, going directly to the question that had haunted her nightmares and daydreams, “Why?”
Harry hurt at the pain in her voice, but he slowly reached her face with his hand and softly caressed her cheek with his thumb.
“Because…” he paused a moment for a spasm of pain burned through his body, “there is so much to live for…and so much to die for. It was the price to be paid, and I was the only one who could pay it.”
Ginny closed her eyes and let his voice surround her. Resting her face on his hand, she longed for that moment to never end, but Harry suddenly pulled his hand back as if touching her skin burned him. His face had turned serious leaving a very disconcerted Ginny.
“Ginny…after everything you have given me,” he said with a tone of implore on his voice “I have one last chance to ask you something, my last wish.”
She waited expectantly. Whatever he asked, she would do it. Her love would enable her to do anything he asked for, even if that meant to travel to the other side of the world. He took a moment to gather his thought for it was obvious he had an internal struggle.
“Forget me, Ginny,” he said in a barely audible voice.
“What?” She asked confused. She couldn’t believe he was asking that. Fear and dread soon made a grip from her heart.
“Forget me,” he repeated, this time more firmly, but without looking her in the eyes. “Erase every memory, every feeling…every kiss...everything you have ever harbored about me. Just let it go…”
She looked at him with a pain so strong in her eyes that Harry was afraid to look at them, for fear of his resolution to waver. Ginny was fighting furiously against the impulse of running away; to escape from that nightmare her life had turned into. She couldn’t find any trace of logic in all this.
“Why are you asking me this, Harry? How can you ask for such thing?” She asked with disbelief as the anger started to build up inside her. “After all the dreams we shared, and all the love we shared… you are asking me to forget that?”
Harry didn’t say anything. He was staring at the ceiling, tolerating every single word. His eyes were bright with unshed tears, but he remained silent. Nothing was making sense for Ginny, and she wanted to know why.
“Why, Harry? Why?” She continued questioning him without rest, “Why I have to let you go? Why can’t you accept my love, Harry? After all the times you told me you love me…”
Harry couldn’t take it anymore.
“Because I am going to die, Ginny!” He snapped with a harsh voice. “There are no dreams with me! There is no future for you with me! Every single thing we had planned is not going to happen, Ginny!”
His sudden outburst caught her unprepared. So that was why; his reason to ask her to forget the love of her lifetime; a reason that was just not enough.
After several minutes he used to calm down, Harry continued with a softer voice, “That’s why you have to forget me. I will never forget you, though. I will treasure every memory of you until my last breath, Ginny.”
Ginny knew in that moment that he had finally asked her the one thing she couldn’t do. She slowly reached his hand and placed it between hers. The distance between them shortened as her mouth drew closer to his ear.
“How can I forget you, when it is your kisses, your touch, that has sculpted my soul and my heart?” She whispered soothingly to his ear. She knew that every single word was true, and he had to understand that.
“You ask me to forget you,” she continued, softly striking his hair, “but then, how will I live?”
Harry dared to look deep into her eyes, only to find the love that had always occupied his dreams. He could feel it, flowing towards him with such force that he couldn’t stop the tears rolling down his face. They shared such a great love…but it was just not enough. He was going to die.
“Ginny, please. I’m begging you,” he asked one more time. His soul and heart were regretting every word, but he put those feelings aside. “Forget me.”
Ginny didn’t answer. Without a word, she slowly climbed into his bed. She lay at his side, resting her head on his chest and her arm wrapped around his waist.
“Harry,” she said with love, “it is our memories what fills my lungs every day, and it is our love what runs in my veins…I can’t forget. I don’t want to.”
She slowly raised her head to look into his eyes. Both of their faces were marked with tears, but despite the sadness, their love was still pulsing between them, as strong as ever.
Harry watched how her face drew closer and closer, until their lips finally met. He would never forget that kiss; a kiss of pain and love, anguish and passion. In that moment he knew beyond doubt that she was saying the truth. She wouldn’t ever forget him. He would be the only man to hold her heart.
Ginny slowly pulled back from the kiss with a sad smile portraying her face. She knew how much he longed to stay with her, but that was just not possible.
“We will see each other again, Harry,” she stated with such conviction that Harry had no doubt they would. She rested her head again on his chest, tightening the grip of her arm. “The body is temporary, but our love is forever.”
Harry stopped struggling at last. He knew she had made her choice, and that no one, not even him, would make her change her mind. He let the fact the he had her heart to sink in; the fact that love could be bitter and sweet at the same time.
“I love you, Ginny Weasley,” he whispered, looking at the top of her head. She tilted her head up a little, just to catch a glimpse of his eyes.
“I love you too, Harry.”
Ginny relaxed into his arms and let her tears die into his chest. She was clenching her hands and arms to the only person to whom she had ever belonged.
Both of their bodies started to shake as the anguish was too much to bear with. Her hands were firmly closed around his shoulders whilst his arms were tightly closed around her back. Soon, their paths would be parted by death, but so they would be reunited one day by death.
The two lovers embraced each other with love and pain; their farewells before the trip. Despite of how unfair life had been to them, love was tingling in every fiber of their beings.
Through the small window of the room, they watched their last sunset: the sun struggling to send its last rays to the landscape.
“It’s like going to sleep, Ginny,” he said with a soft voice full of love. “Like the sun…a sleeping sun. While here is sunset, in another place is dawn…we will meet again, Ginny, in a new dawn.”
Ginny listened in silent pain to his words. She didn’t want to leave his side whilst he still had life within. They slowly drifted into wistful dreams of reunion as the sun slowly set on the horizon, burning with intensity and changing the colors of the sky. Ginny’s hands never left his shoulders, neither his arms left her back; not even when at last, his heart beats stopped, and his soul finally left his body to meet rest.
For my dreams I hold my life
for wishes I behold my night
the truth at the end of time
losing faith makes a crime
I wish for this night-time
to last for a lifetime
the darkness around me
shores of a solar sea
Oh how I wish
to go down with the sun
Sleeping…weeping…
with you
Other Disclaimers: The poem Harry gives Ginny is actually the lyric of the song called: "Es hora de marchar" (It is time to go), played by the group called "Mago de Oz". Translation made by myself.
The last lyrics at the end of the story are part from the song called "Sleeping Sun" (hence the title), played by the group "Nightwish".
In both cases no copyright violation is intent. The lyrics belong to their respective owners.
A/N: This is it. I really hope everyone liked it as much as I did. I had to think a lot about their fairwells, but I liked the result. This fanfic was really made out of reflection, as I wondered how it would be to be in the same situation.
As always, please review. Each review, no matter how short it is, makes me very, very happy :) I love to hear what you guys think about the story. Of course, you can email me if you want to discuss/ask/threaten anything with me.
Right now, I'll work in the chaptered story. It will not be as dark as my 2 fanfics, but it will have its dark moments. I'll try to get done at least 3 chapters before starting posting, so that unfortunately means that it will be some time before you all hear of me again. If anyone wants me to email you when the first chapter is up, just email me :) Keep tuned!
A/N2: Ah, I forgot to mention another very important person in all this: skiving_snackbox, my wonderful beta. I bow before her and her great work with my fanfic :)