It had been a very long engagement. She knew that he had a lot he needed to do before he could ever marry, and she would stay until he was ready. She had even moved in with him in anticipation of the wedding. It was the right thing to do; it was the logical thing to do. She just had to keep telling herself that. Maybe if she told it to herself enough, she would believe it.
It was silly that she was having all of these doubts. Harry was everything she had pictured herself needing from a husband. He could provide for her, he could protect her, and he could love her unconditionally. He was what she needed, so it was only fitting that she be with him. But was he what she wanted? No… she would have to stop thinking like that! But then again… it had been a very long engagement.
She would have to stop thinking about him. It had just been a short fling, nothing more. He was a foolish wizard. He still acted like a child. She had never known him to act seriously. Yet he captivated her so. Her heart ached to think of what he must be doing now, as she stood here staring into the eyes of her fiancé, the man she had chosen to stay with over him, because it was the logical thing to do. Harry was the man for her. He needed to understand that.
She had always been this way, and he knew it. Everything in her life was planned and expected. She was in control of every second, every moment, every feeling. Or at least she liked to think so. However the events that had happened during her engagement had taken her quite by surprise, and it hadn’t been in her control one bit.
What was originally going to last one year had turned into a very long engagement. Harry had proposed to her about two years after his defeat of the Dark Lord. By that time Harry had a steady job as an Auror. Life was wonderful again… or at least it was for a few months. Harry still had a lot of things he had to put right for the Ministry before a wedding could be planned. They hadn’t even picked a date yet! But she was patient. Love could wait, as long as she knew he still planned on marrying her.
After months and months of ‘waiting patiently’ her heart surprised her one day. That was the day she started fighting with herself and doubting the ring on her finger. It was the day he walked back into her life. From that day forth, every time she looked into Harry’s gorgeous green eyes, she felt a painful sting in her heart, waking her senses to what she had gotten herself into. She was cheating, and she knew that it was wrong, but she loved them both. More than anything else, she knew that she loved them both.
They had been friends back at Hogwarts, but after they completed their seventh year they each went their separate ways. She was shocked when Harry mentioned that he worked in the Auror office with him. She was afraid that they wouldn’t be able to keep their secret, but to her relief he added that they seldom saw each other.
She knew what she was doing was wrong, but his presence was like a drug to her. Every time they came together, she breathed him in like the natural perfume of God’s most luscious flowers. She was addicted to his touch: firm, protecting, and forbidden. He was like a breath of fresh air in a cloud of smoke. He was a day of sunlight after months of darkness. When his soft fingers delicately caressed her cheek, she felt all the longing in the world for him and for that moment. He was her ecstasy, her treasured secret, and her rescue.
He knew she was engaged. Every time he had mentioned her leaving Harry, she simply close her eyes and push the thought out of her mind. Silently kissing his lips to quiet him, she would forget about Harry for the evening. She would escape in his love for the night and wouldn’t think about Harry until she stepped out of his door the next morning.
It started with just a few evenings, when Harry had been working late. It was simple, and still in her control. However, before too long it became a daily ritual. He didn’t work the same hours as Harry, so everyday after Harry left by the fireplace, she would Apparate to his house in the city. For a few hours she would give in to her lust and desire. Every evening when Harry was due back, she would go back to their home, and as Harry lay sleeping by her side, she would cry herself to sleep.
She knew what she was doing was horrible and wrong, but not once did she ever take off her engagement ring while they made love. She just couldn’t bring herself to do it. Nor could she bring herself to leave him… either of them.
Now she stood watching as Harry fiddled nervously with the buttons on his vest, looking up frequently to smile at her and glance at their guests.
Her tiara glittered in the sun that shined through the stained glass windows of the church. She toyed with the skirt of her dress and breathed deeply, reassuring herself that this was what she needed to do. Although she looked beautiful, she found it hard to believe that no one noticed the fear in her eyes or the violent beating of her heart. It was hammering so loudly that it seemed impossible for anyone not to hear it. And yet, no one did. So she stood at the altar concentrating on her breathing and trying not to cry as her panic slowly overtook her.
Her hair was pulled tightly up upon her head. Her veil laid over the back of her tamed mane and neck, rubbing against her shoulder blades, as a result of her deep, panicked breaths.
Her gown was a pearly white that gave her milky skin a beautiful glow. The gown was strapless with a tight, beaded bodice and a long, full skirt that blossomed out from her curvy hips. She wore a pair of delicate satin heals to complete the ensemble. She looked so beautiful that no one could ever imagine that she could possibly be unhappy. She took comfort in knowing that, but somehow she wished someone would notice her dire need for help. She felt like she was drowning. Her brow was damp with tiny crystals of sweat. Her lips were dry; her breaths were coming in short gasps.
Why isn’t anyone noticing? she thought. Why isn’t anyone coming to my rescue? No. This is the right thing to do. Harry is who I need to be with. Damn it! Catch your breath! Look at him. Look at the love in his eyes. How could you not want to be with him? This is silly. Get a hold on yourself!
Harry loved her… she knew that. She couldn’t look into his eyes without knowing that he would never stop loving her, and yet she couldn’t stop thinking about what he must be doing now. He knew today was the date of their wedding. He had even thought about showing up.
“Harry won’t think anything of us by me being there,” he had said. “He’ll just think I found out you two were getting married and wanted to show up. I’d just be an old friend showing up at a wedding.” The idea was quickly dismissed by a series of short, luscious kisses, but now she wondered what he was doing instead. She could only imagine the sad state he must be in today: watching the clock, moping around, and regretting having ever let himself fall in love with her. She wondered if he knew how much she had loved him, even now, while she married another.
The priest’s voice sounded far away. He was reading quotes about the creation of man and woman. Two made from one. She swallowed hard. It was odd. His voice was so soft, like he was standing in another room. All she could hear was her breathing, and the manic drumming of her heart. Harry smiled at her… and it was all over.
Her legs snapped into motion. She ran down the aisle. A wave of gasps and scandalized remarks erupted from the pews. She gathered her skirt in her hands and continued to run out of the church. She burst through the doors, out into the sun. It was like breaking through to the surface after having been under water without air for a very long time. Relief washed over her. Stepping out on the pavement, she turned to the sound of the church doors opening. Harry stepped out into the sun. His face was void of expression or remark, his lips were parted as if he was about to speak, but he said nothing. His eyes were glassy and moist, but no tears fell. There seemed to be understanding in his eyes as he looked at her, but she could tell that he was heartbroken. They stood there, looking at each other silently. People standing behind Harry craned their necks to see what was going on outside, as he held the door open, but remained planted on the threshold.
“I’m sorry”, she mouthed, without making a sound. He nodded his head, but stayed standing where he was. At the last second, he hung his head… and POP she was gone.
A split second later she appeared in front of the visitors’ entrance to the Ministry of Magic. Stepping inside of the shabby and neglected telephone booth, she picked up the receiver and dialed: 6, 2, 4, 4, and 2.
“Welcome to the Ministry of Magic,” the familiar female voice said. “Please state your name and business.”
“Hermione Granger,” she said confidently. “I’m looking for the man I love.”
“Thank you,” the voice responded, as if there were nothing odd about her business there, “Visitor, please take the badge and attach it to the front of your robes.”
A square, silver badge slid out of the chute where returned change normally drops. In small letters it said ‘Hermione Granger, Searching for Love.’ She held it gingerly in her fingers, reading the words repeatedly as the voice continued,
“Visitor to the Ministry, you are required to submit to a search and present your wand for registration at the security desk, which is located at the far end of the Atrium.”
The telephone box then lowered itself into the ground, past the layer of pavement, away from the gray light that lit the side street, and down into the Atrium, which greeted her as a vast wave of light and sound.
“The Ministry of Magic wishes you a pleasant day,” the voice said as she stepped out into the lobby.
The Atrium was oddly full this afternoon. Wizards and witches were bustling about in robes of black and gray, with an occasional shade of blue or green. She stood as tall as she could, on her toes, hoping to spot him in the crowd… but it was no use. So she walked, a little faster than she normally would, to the Fountain of Magical Brethren. Stepping up on the golden ledge she looked around at the passing wizards, searching for his face.
She was a little unnerved to see that a large number of people were staring at her. She looked down at herself and gasped. She had nearly forgotten that she was still in her wedding dress. It was no wonder that all eyes were on her. Several people had actually stopped in their tracks and were now standing around staring at her. She blushed a deep shade of red that rivaled most roses. But she quickly collected herself and continued to search for his face in the crowd.
Moments passed, but every second seemed to take a lifetime for her aching heart… as if time itself was deciding whether or not to go on. Nervousness was creeping up on her and doubt was rearing its ugly head. A bead of sweat rolled softly over the bow of her jaw, down the narrow nape of her neck, and rolled gracefully across the gradual arch of her breasts, which heaved gently as her breaths grew more and more exaggerated.
Where is he? she thought, frantically. Oh my God, where is he? He must be here. He has to be here!
She took in her surroundings. Her eyes met a field of gloomy faces, each one looking straight ahead, their eyes filled with determination on reaching their destination. An occasional oddball stopped to gawk at the witch in the bridal gown standing on the fountain’s edge… but other than that, the Atrium was a sea of impassiveness and angst.
The ceaseless sound of flames flaring up in the fireplaces, as witches and wizards constantly arrived and departed filled her ears, along with the steady drumming of feet scurrying about. The water trickled melodically at her feet as it splashed into the pool of the fountain. The house elf’s stony grin beamed at her from the center of the pool, while the stone wizard looked gallantly skyward. The statues were bejeweled by tiny specks of golden light, which danced about their rough skin. She looked down to see countless amounts of silver Sickles, bronze Knuts, and several gold Galleons, smiling up at her with reflections like tiny little balls of sunlight.
Looking up from the watery gold, her eyes searched passionately for him again, hoping desperately to find his face in the crowd. And then, in a split second, all off her fear and worry was banished.
The Golden Gates swung open at the far end of the hall, and through them walked the one person she had been dying to see. At that one moment… she had never wanted anything more in her life. Their eyes met… and time stood still.
His eyes were red and puffy. She realized he must have been crying, and it was when she saw this that her own eyes began to sting as well. He studied her face and saw the helplessness in her eyes, her desire and desperation to be rescued. All the while she studied his face and saw the endearing longing in his eyes.
His eyes were hazy, and deep with love. His lips were tight and pursed, and his stare was unnerving, but in a good way. It felt right and familiar, and with a sigh of relief, she knew she had made the right decision.
In one swift motion, he didn’t walk but ran to her, scooping her up into his arms. He held her up off of the ground with ease, and as she looked into his sultry eyes she began to cry. Kissing her cheeks and her tears, he eased her pain and sorrow.
“Hi, Ron,” she whispered meekly, her voice trembling.
He responded with a kiss that forgave all. He held her body close against himself, and as she held his face with unsteady hands, they melted together in a kiss that trumped all before it. All of her worries, all of her guilt before this moment was soaked up by his love. His lips were soft and warm; his arms were strong and protecting. She had never felt safer than she did as he held her. She pressed in as close as she could, wishing she could be even closer, even safer… engulfed in his arms.
He continued to kiss her, as if she would vanish from his arms if he stopped. He looked deep into her eyes, watching the tears well up and fall as she smiled. Closing her eyes tight, she laid her head against his brow. A deep sigh escaped her, a sigh filled with relief and comfort.
“I’ll never love another for as long as I live,” she whispered in his ear, kissing his neck delicately and then replacing her head on his brow. “I could never love anyone the way I love you. I know that now.”
Placing her back down on the gold ledge of the fountain, he held her chin in his hand, staring straight into her eyes,
“I was wondering when you would figure that out,” he said, finishing with a kiss.
As their lips met once more, he held both of her delicate hands in his own strong ones, caressing her fingers gently. Pulling her hands from his grasp, she did something she had never done before.
She stroked her engagement ring for what Ron thought was a moment of doubt. But with a face set with resolve, she pulled off the band, holding it gingerly between her thumb and forefinger.
She slowly dropped her hand to her side, not once taking her deep brown eyes away from his curious stare. Relaxing her fingers, the ring teetered on her fingertip for a split second and, as if in slow motion, fell down with a soft splash into the crystal-like water below. And as the ripples slowly faded away, and the water’s surface calmed once again… the last of their troubles were finally put behind them. They were free to be together, openly and completely: a union long over due.
A single diamond in a plain gold setting sunk down into a golden fountain, resting with the softest “thud” at the bottom of the pool. Sitting amongst Sickles and Knuts, it shimmered like the gorgeous jewel it was and remains to be. As the water sloshed gently from side to side, an engraving within the band glistened briefly: To Hermione, My Love. And there the ring would lie, for years to come, at the bottom of the Fountain of Magical Brethren… just a ring… just a story… just a memory, forever cherished in the hearts of two lovers.
Author's notes:
Special thanks to:
SeaIsleWitch... thank you so much for being my beta!!! It's been an honor and a priviledge learning under your suggestions.
JKR... what a wonderful gift you have given us that we may play, create, and indulge ourselves in your fantastic magical world.