“I can’t believe it. He’s really gone. Is he really gone?”
I don’t know why you’re asking me this, but yes, his presence has left.
“Was it my fault? Oh no, I know it was my fault! I’m too accepting. He always did believe that only the best and purest wizards should be allowed in. Why couldn’t he see . . .”
See what? Helga, what are you thinking?
“I’m glad to know my Occlumency has improved, so that you can’t get in my head and see for yourself. I shall have to warn Godric about that, won’t I?”
Silence. She sighs.
“I thought he loved me, you see. That night, when he came to my rose garden and . . . well . . . he has always had a silver tongue, as I’m sure you know.”
So I’ve been told, yes.
“He told me I was beautiful, that I sparked his interest even though I wasn’t near as intelligent as Rowena. The way he said it, it didn’t even hurt my feelings. After all, dear Rowena’s genius is intimidating, even to one as cunning as himself. And I’m no duffer “ I did help found the school, after all! All four of us were required. Salazar may have thought he was the ruler, but the three of us were always there to check him “ or Godric, as it was every so often. They’re both so pigheaded, so alike in many ways. This row they’ve had “ you don’t think it will last, do you?”
You heard the words they spoke; you were here in the room. You tell me “ I do not spend much time in contemplation of matters that don’t especially concern me.
More silence, broken only by a small sniffle. She’s wearing her favorite green dress with the roses on it. It was his favorite, too. A tear dots the soft fabric, and she decides not to tell her confidante that she’s crying over her dress. It wouldn’t understand.
“It was because of me. Not that they fought over me, of course not, but I have standards I cannot let down, even if they’re challenged by the one I love. It doesn’t matter how pure your blood is, magic is magic and those who have it deserve the privilege of learning how to control it. Sometimes I think he forgot that my blood is not especially pure. My own grandfather . . . but at any rate, Godric sided with me. He agrees that we should teach anyone with magical ability. Don’t you agree?”
I suppose. But is this not why I was developed? To allow for conflicting opinions of teaching methods even after you’re gone?
“Well, yes, this sort of thing has been going on for years. We thought that if we separated the students into Houses that would be enough, but apparently Salazar doesn’t think so. Oh, why can’t we all agree? I’m afraid that, if he doesn’t come back, it will mean the end of Hogwarts. There’s . . . there’s not much use in staying around now that he’s gone, and you’re here. And I don’t think I could bear to watch the decline of the school that the four of us worked so hard to create!”
But, as you said, I am here. Even if you leave, even if all four of you leave, I can continue with the work you created me for. Although it does seem to produce nothing but bad feelings.
“It’s too late now. We have the House system worked out now. And I must admit you’re performing quite admirably “ spot on with my predictions and all. But . . . it doesn’t matter.”
She sighs disconsolately once more. This chat is doing nothing to make her feel better.
I heard that. Your Occlumency, if indeed it does prevent me from properly viewing you, did not prevent that. But what comfort did you expect from me? I am only a Hat.
“I don’t know, I am feeling rather foolish now. He’ll never come back, and it’s my fault. We were in love, you know.”
Yes, I had gathered that.
“You are becoming impertinent! That must have been . . . must have been Salazar’s doing. He was always quick to make a dry comment, but never to me. Oh no, he was always most kind to me. The way he talked to me . . . I know he loved me. I wish he didn’t have to leave. Do you really think it was my fault?”
You’re beginning to go ’round in circles. It might make me dizzy, if my enchantment allowed for that. As it is, it’s beginning to be rather tiresome.
“I’m beginning to wonder if any of my sympathy made it into your little clothy brain at all! My one true love has left me and you simply tell me I’m being tiresome! Why am I even trying to talk to you? No, don’t answer that, I don’t want to hear another acerbic remark that reminds me of him. Everything will, I know that. The little garden snake that weaves by me as I tend my herbs, the silver glint of the frost in winter, even the green leaves of my beloved posies will remind me of him. Of Slytherin’s cunning, ambition, and power, and . . . tender kisses, sweet caresses, loving words. . . .”
She is too choked up to continue talking. The silence begins to lengthen.
I am incapable of feeling emotion, but if I were capable, I would feel sorry for you now, Helga. I know he loved you, because he came and told me so before he left. I wouldn’t be surprised if all of you began using me as some sort of confidante before long “ it seems my objectivity is preferable to human company.
“He spoke to you? About me? Why didn’t you say so before?! I don’t know if your objectivity is such an advantage now, by the way.”
I didn’t mention it because you were too busy worrying about yourself and how pitiful you feel now that he’s gone. I know how he worried he’d hurt you, that you would beat yourself up for causing him to leave. He wondered if you would forgive him for leaving like this. He cursed his life for taking him away from you for the rest of your lives, but he seems to think that everything will work out in the end.
“In the end? No, I know that he harbors bad feelings against us still. In the end it will be too late, for we will be gone. Oh, I’ll never understand the way he thinks. Maybe it’s better we’re apart “ this conversation has shown me how incompatible we really were. It probably would have been better if we’d never fallen in love after all.”
Do you think that’s true? Your mind is full of happy memories from him. Would you relinquish those even to lessen your heartache now? I think not. You will always cherish them, and he will always cherish those happy memories he has of you. I can’t give you much advice on matters of the heart, but what little sense I can make of your thoughts pushes me in the direction I’ve spoken of. Now do you feel any better?
“I hesitate to ask why you suddenly seem to think on my well-being.”
Well, you’re getting my brim all wet with your tears.
“I thought it was something like that.”
Without further ado, she pulls the hat off her head and places it on its shelf, giving it a thoughtful pat and wiping her eyes. As she leaves the room, she hears her friends approaching. How ironic that all of them happen to be wearing green today. It hurts her to see because it reminds her of him, but she thinks on the last thing the Sorting Hat said to her and decides it is right. She wouldn’t trade the memories for the heartache, not now that she’s been through both. She smiles at her friends and they support each other for the loss of one of their own.
Who knows, maybe everything will work out in the end.
A/N: This is just in case I need to defend my choice of confidante. The challenge specified it could be an unnamed character, and since the Sorting Hat really doesn’t have a name (Sorting Hat does not count!) I decided that it would be good enough. I’d like to thank whichever mod came up with the rarepair Salazar/Helga because it inspired me to make a fic about it, however poor my interpretation turned out to be.