Chapter Six- Asher Crellin
“Asher?” Remus breathed.
Harry’s mouth fell open in disbelief. Flashes of a twelve-year-old girl with long, black hair ran through his mind.
Asher’s brown eyes were filling with tears.
“I, um…I’ll be fine, M-molly…I can find my own way. Th-thank you though…” she spluttered, and turned towards the front garden.
Remus sprang up, knocking his chair over in the process, and grabbed her wrist. She froze.
“Please let go of me, Remus,” she quietly pleaded, not looking at him.
“No, because you might run away for another sixteen years,” said Remus harshly, making her flinch. “Why did you do it? What made you turn your back on everything you had here?”
She wrenched her arm out of his grasp so she was right up next to him. She had to look up to see his face, as she only came just above his shoulder.
“Why did I run away? I ran away because two people who I had been best friends with since I was eleven were murdered within four months of each other!” her voice was steadily getting louder, and she started stepping backwards away from him. “I ran away because my life was shattered to pieces by a man I regarded AS MY BROTHER! By a man I knew better than myself! By a ma-”
“Oh Merlin, Asher, it wasn’t Sirius! He was innocent!” Remus’ face then fell, “But…Sirius is-”
“What!?” the woman screamed, her eyes as round as saucers, her mouth hanging open. “What? Yes! I…I don’t believe it!” She had now launched herself on Remus, jumping up, wrapping her legs around his waist, and scattering kisses on his cheeks, forehead, and nose. “I knew it! I knew it couldn’t have been him!”
Tonks’ eyes were popping out of their sockets.
“Ash…Ash, there’s something else…” said Remus, putting her down. The smile that graced her features slowly faded, but she plastered a fake one on instead.
“So, where is Sirius? It’s not like him to miss a party!” she said in a forced cheery tone, feigning ignorance, as if she could guess what Remus was going to say next.
“Sirius…Ash, I’m sorry, but Sirius died last year.”
She just stared at him as if she couldn’t understand, the ghost of a smile still on her lips. She swayed slightly on her high-heeled shoes, then two large tears made their way down her cheeks. More followed and soon she were clutching Remus as if she would never let go.
Remus looked around at Molly and Arthur, who like the rest of the table, were watching the scene play out with either bemused looks or wide eyes.
“Can we…?” he nodded at the Burrow.
Molly nodded mutely. Remus half walked, half carried Asher to the back door.
There was complete silence until Fred piped up, “What the hell-”
“Just happened,” finished George.
Tonks, Harry noticed, was still staring at the place Remus had vacated minutes earlier.
“Tonks,” Ginny said quietly, as she gently nudged her shoulder.
Tonks jumped and looked around. “What was that all about?”
Harry looked over at Ron and Hermione. He was slightly shocked. He had thought, or presumed Asher Crellin was dead. Apparently, from the looks on their faces, his friends had come to the same conclusion. The rest of the Weasley’s obviously had no idea who she was, and Tonks looked hurt and confused. They must have sat in silence for half an hour, no one knowing what to say. Ginny held Harry’s hand tightly. She had found her seat on Harry’s lap, but he didn’t complain.
Harry heard the Burrow’s back door open; he looked over to find Remus approaching, looking dazed. He sat down next to Tonks and stared at Harry. His mouth opened a few times, but the words seemed to stick in his throat. On his fourth attempt, he managed to get them out.
“You might be wondering what just happened,” he said quietly.
“You’re telling me!” said Tonks, who was slightly squeakier than usual.
Remus looked over at her, his mouth open slightly. “I…we…no! No, no, no!” he laughed, “Me and Ash together, no way.”
Tonks seemed pleased with this answer and took his hand. “So, where is she now?”
“She’s asleep in the living room.”
“Well, who is she?” Harry asked
Remus took a deep breath. “Asher Crellin was your mother’s best friend since her first year at Hogwarts, her other best friend being Leanna Williams. You couldn’t find friends closer, besides maybe the Marauders. All through our first six years or so, Lily hated James, but Asher and Leanna never really had that much of a problem with him. Asher was quite close with Sirius. When I say quite close, I mean to say close enough for him to cut her hair rather short and spike it up, but that’s a completely different story altogether.” He paused and chuckled lightly when everyone stared at him, scandalised. It was very hard to picture Asher with short, spiky hair, as it now reached halfway down her back.
“By the end of our final year, Lily and James were together, and Ash and Sirius were as close as they come, though not in a romantic sense. It was more of a brother/sister love. So, a few years went by; the war was in full swing, but everyone stayed close. You were born, Harry, and when you were eleven months old, Voldemort went after Leanna. She put up a sensational fight; she was a sensational witch…but was murdered.” Remus had a sad look in his eyes.
“Two months later, you, Lily, and James went into hiding. I remember Sirius, Asher, and I living together in one flat. She was not the tidiest person, on the contrary, but even she got annoyed by the mess Sirius managed to make.”
Remus suddenly had a serious look on his face. He took a deep breath and continued. “Two months after you went into hiding, Voldemort found you. Asher and I were under the impression that Sirius was your parents’ secret keeper and though never quite believing it, had to accept that Sirius had sold them to Voldemort and murdered Peter. But Ash wouldn’t accept it. She couldn’t believe the person she thought she knew so well could do this, but all the evidence pointed to it,” Remus sighed. “A week after your parent’s death, Asher packed all her belongings and left. I haven’t seen her since, until today.”
Everyone was lost in thought.
“What made her come back?” asked Harry. His brain was overwhelmed with information, but he was too curious not to ask questions.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t get that much out of her.”
“Do you know what she’s been up to all these years?” Hermione asked.
Remus shook his head, “No.”
There was another unbelievably long silence.
“Right, I think there has been quite enough excitement for one day; it’s nearly three in the morning! Everyone to bed now,” said Molly.
*
Harry woke with a start. He had been dreaming about the night Dumbledore died, and woke covered in sweat, breathing heavily. Once he had cleared his head of the dream, he thought about the night before. He just couldn’t believe Asher Crellin was alive. It was so strange; why did she come back? It couldn’t have been just coincidence that she was in London the day of the attacks. He suspected she would have stayed further away, where she could not have been recognised by anyone. Suddenly, he remembered she was downstairs sleeping in the living room.
He sat up and looked at the clock. Quarter past ten. Ron was still snoring loudly, and it was fairly quiet outside his bedroom. He would take a shower, without having to wait in queue for once, go get some breakfast, and hopefully talk to his mother’s mysterious friend.
Half an hour later, Harry was going down the creaky stairs. He walked over to the kitchen, but she wasn’t there. He looked in the living room, but she wasn’t there either. He was slightly worried by this. He then heard a sound from outside the kitchen. When he stood by the door, he could hear someone singing softly, as if in their own world. Harry opened the door as quietly as he could, so as not to startle the person. His efforts seemed unsuccessful, as the very woman Harry had been looking for jumped and spun round.
“Do you mind if I join you?” he asked.
“Oh, no, no…go ahead…” Asher said, and took a sip from her mug.
They sat in silence. Harry didn’t know what to say to her. Her eyes looked red and puffy.
“You might be wondering why I came back after so long,” she said quietly, not looking at him.
“Well…yeah.”
She took a shaky breath before starting. “Ever since I was little I’ve had to fight my own battles, and I soon learned never to be a coward or back down.” Silence. “When your parents died…Sirius got blamed…and I couldn’t accept that. I'm sure that’s what Remus already told you.” Harry nodded.
“I left because…because everyone around me was so angry, so depressed, and all the blame was on Sirius. And I was trying to accept this. I mean, I had no idea what to do. So I ran. I ran away from everything that reminded me of him, I ran because I didn’t want to face up to the truth,” she looked straight into Harry’s eyes. “And I’ve regretted it ever since. I regret leaving Remus most. He lost just as much as me, but he didn’t run. He stayed and just dealt with it.
“I still haven’t answered your question. What made me come back…I never forgave myself for what I did. It was cowardly and selfish, and I think I hurt Remus more than he will ever admit. But Dumbledore’s death made me seriously think about coming back. ” Harry’s heart constricted slightly at these words, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“I never really paid that much attention to what was happening while I was away, but everyone had heard of Albus Dumbledore. And when I heard…it really hit home how deep we are in this war. Everyone, every single person has a place in it. I wanted to take my place. I need to take my place, and my place is here, the place I’ve been avoiding for nearly sixteen years. I have no idea what the hell we are going to do without Dumbledore, though. I guess everyone thought he would defeat Voldemort in the end…but now…who knows.”
Harry ignored that last statement. He had so many questions flying through his brain. “What have you done for so long?”
“Well, I’ve travelled. I’ve gone everywhere I ever wanted to go and more, never staying in one place for long. I made money singing at weddings, parties, bars, things like that,” she laughed humourlessly, “doing the thing I love most, but hating where I did it. And the place I hated turned out to be everywhere but where I belong. The place where I belong is where I can find out the truth and live up to it. Here in other words.”
“When did you come back?”
“The day the Death Eaters attacked was the day after I arrived. I had hardly a sickle to my name, but managed to get a room at the Leakey Cauldron. You helped me when I was stuck under that goddamned beam, and I knew Remus couldn’t be far off. I’d seen a glimpse of him earlier. I ran again. I needed some money, so I put an ad in the paper…and you know what happened after that.”
He really didn’t know what to say. She stood up, and he followed suit. When she was about to go inside, he put his hand on her shoulder.
“I don’t blame you for doing what you did,” he said quietly. He didn’t, and he knew she wasn’t lying when she said she was sorry for it.
She gave him a small, sad, but genuine smile and walked into the kitchen.
“Harry! Miss Crellin! I didn’t know you were out there,” said Molly from the cooker, when they entered.
“Oh Merlin, please do not call me Miss Crellin. It makes me sound old. Even though I am getting on a bit there’s no need to remind me…” she grinned and winked at Harry. Harry could see why she had gotten on with Sirius so well. She removed her wand from a pocket of her robes and performed a spell that made her makeup seem freshly applied and her dark hair straight and brushed.
“I see your feeling better today,” observed Molly.
“Yeah, well I’ve been up since five just thinking. I need to go see Remus; I have a few things to say, most of them being apologies.”
“I can’t give you his address, so you will need to go see Minerva McGonagall, the new secret keeper for the Order, although I think he will come see you anyway.”
“Thanks, I will.” Asher was silent for a minute. “Mrs. Weasley-”
“It’s Molly, dear.”
Asher laughed. “Molly, I won’t be here long; in fact, I’ll probably be out of your hair by tonight.”
“It’s all right to stay here, Asher. I’m not letting you go stay in the Hogs Head if that’s what you are thinking.”
“I can’t just not pay you for your hospitality,” she paused for thought. “What if you just forget my pay for last night and I stay here for…a week at most?”
“I think that can be arranged. And you can stay here for as long as you need. I can’t just chuck you out on the street.”
Asher smiled, “Thank you, Molly.”
By this time, Harry was sitting at the table, where Molly had just placed a plate full of bacon and fried eggs. Asher helped Molly and both women sat down opposite him with their own breakfasts.
“So, Harry,” started Asher, flipping her long hair behind her shoulder. “Did you have fun with that red-headed bridesmaid?” she said, with a perfectly calm voice, though her eyes where sparkling with mischief.
He blushed and refused to meet Molly’s eye. “Umm…”
“Yes, he seemed very cosy,” said a quiet voice from the door. Harry looked around to see the smirking face of Charlie. He blushed more. Charlie got some breakfast from the pan and sat down.
“Are you okay?” he asked, looking at Asher.
“Yeah, I’m good, you?”
“I think I should have lain off the Firewhisky …” everyone laughed, which made him wince. Molly got up and gave him a vial full of a thick, florescent green potion. It didn’t seem to taste very nice, as Charlie grimaced when he drank it all in one gulp.
“Yuck. Better than a hangover I suppose…” he said dryly.
“Morning!” said Mr. Weasley brightly.
“Morning,” chorused the table. Ten minutes later, Hermione arrived, followed by Ron, who sat beside her. They were both blushing slightly, making everyone snigger into their food.
“Good morning, everyone, and what a beautiful day it is!”
That cheery voice made Harry’s heartbeat quicken. He didn’t want to look at anyone, as he knew they’d be smirking. He turned around to find Ginny looking straight at him. She skipped over, and without even a glance at the current company, kissed him square on the lips.
Several moments later they pulled away. Harry’s cheeks stained red again, but Ginny seemed unfazed by the stares. Asher was trying her best not to burst out laughing. She took a sip of tea, but when she saw Harry’s red face, she choked and had to be hit on the back by Molly, who also seemed quite amused. The two Weasley brothers present looked outraged, but Hermione simply smiled and carried on with her breakfast.
“Mmm, breakfast smells great, Mum,” said Ginny, as she sat on Harry’s left. “What?” she snapped at Charlie and Ron.
“Would you mind not snogging at the breakfast table? Ouch!”
It seemed Hermione had taken it upon herself to give Ron a good kick in the shin. Harry found it quite amusing that Ron had protested, not Molly or Arthur.
“No, I don’t mind snogging Harry at the breakfast table, see.” She then leaned over to kiss him again. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”
*
“Um, Harry?” said Hermione unsurely.
“That’s my name,” Harry replied, not taking his eyes away from the chess pieces in front of him. Internally, he begged them to magically move to the perfect position so he could stop this long and slow torture, also known as playing against a very competitive Ron.
“Harry, I think we need to talk about what we’re doing. You know, with the Horcruxes and everything.”
Ron, Harry, and Hermione were sitting in the living room. Ginny was helping her mother with dinner, and Ron had forced Harry into a game of wizard’s chess, promising to go easy on him Harry, of course, was losing spectacularly.
He looked up and sighed, “I know.” He was silent for a while, deep in thought.
“Well,” ventured Ron, “you said we should go to Godric’s Hollow…”
“Yeah, that’s where we’ll start…we need to see if there is anything, anything at all that will help there,” said Harry slowly.
“What about afterwards?” asked Hermione.
“I think we need to go to Gaunt’s house, the Riddle’s house, and the graveyard,” he shuddered.
“What…what about school?”
Harry sighed, feeling a lot older than seventeen. He rubbed his eyes and looked out the window into the garden.
“I don’t know…we need to get this over and done with.”
“Well yeah, but how do we expect to kill any ‘Dark Lords’ when we haven’t finished our education? I mean, now that Dumbledore’s gone, V-Voldemort is more powerful.”
It was quite a shock, not what had been said, but who had said it. Ron’s ears turned slightly red, but he held Harry’s gaze.
“I just…I just don’t know anymore.” He truly didn’t. Dumbledore was supposed to help him with this, guide him, and tell him how to destroy the Horcruxes. But Dumbledore’s help would never come. Harry just had to make his own plans, then hope and pray they would work.
“I think we shouldn’t make our minds up yet…I think we should decide when we’re at Godric’s Hollow,” he said.
“When are we leaving?” asked Ron.
“I think we’ve wasted too much time all ready. We should leave as soon as we can. Tomorrow morning?”
They were quiet for a moment; then quite spontaneously, Ron groaned and let his head hit the chessboard with a loud bang, making all the pieces run for their lives.
“What?” Harry said, quite startled by Ron’s outburst.
“We have to tell mum and dad, plus Ginny. I hope you have quick reflexes, Harry.”
“Why?”
“Because her bat bogey hex is pretty powerful.”
“Ah.” Harry didn’t like the sound of telling Ginny either. He had just gotten back together with her, and now he had to tell her he may not be going back to school.
“Well, we should get it over and done with. We can’t just leave without telling them,” said Hermione sternly.
Both boys gave her pleading looks.
“No. We have to tell them.”
“Okay fine, we will tell them after dinner, agreed?”
“Okay.”
Ron grumbled incoherently for a few seconds, “Fine then.”
*
Dinner came and went far too quickly for Harry’s liking. There was only Molly, Arthur, Ginny, Harry, Ron, and Hermione there tonight. Charlie was meeting up with some friends, as he was leaving in a couple of days, and Asher had gone to see Professor McGonagall and Remus, and pick up her things from The Leaky Cauldron.
When everyone had eaten until they were ready to burst, the three friends shared a glance. Actually, it was more of a look specifically directed at Harry, saying, “Go on!”
“Umm, we’re going to be leaving tomorrow morning; we’re going to Godric’s Hollow. There are some things we need to do,” he told his empty plate defiantly. Harry glanced at Ron. He was looking at the ceiling, preparing himself for the protests guaranteed to come from Molly. Hermione was staring at the table, refusing to meet anyone’s eyes.
After a few seconds of painful silence, Harry looked up. All three people were looking at him, very pale.
“W-What?” squeaked Molly. “Merlin forbid, tell me this doesn’t have anything to do with You-Know-Who.”
“There are things that need to be done before he can be killed,” said Harry, forcing his voice to stay steady.
Silence again.
“What do you need to do?” questioned Arthur, a look of dead seriousness on his kind face.
“We can’t tell anyone. I'm sorry,” Hermione whispered.
“I won’t allow it. Harry, Hermione, I can’t tell you what to do, but Ronald, you still live under this roof, and I refuse to let you go. It’s too dangerous-” Molly said, looking stern.
“Yes, Mum, I am aware it’s dangerous, but I have to go with Harry. If I don’t go, then you know he will go anyway, and I am not letting him go with just Hermione; he needs help, and I’m going to be part of it.”
“But-”
“I'm sorry, Mum, but I’m going,” said Ron.
Molly started sobbing into her husband’s shoulder, who tried to comfort her. Harry was only able to make out a few words like, ‘Dangerous’ ‘You-Know-Who’ and ‘Killed’.
“I'm coming too,” said Ginny, her burning stare set on Harry.
“No, you’re not,” Harry said as calmly as he could. He had been expecting this. Well, this or her flying across the table and smacking him.
“You can’t control me, Harry.” Her voice was strangely low and quiet, but it just made her seem scarier.
“I know I can’t control you, but I’m still not letting you come.” His voice wavered from the strain of trying not to shout the words at her.
“I'm not letting you go again!”
Harry was on his feet without even noticing, “Ginny, you are not coming and that’s final! I’m not putting you in that danger!”
“If Ron and Hermione are going, then I am too!” she shouted, jumping to her feet as well.
“Then I’ll go alone!”
This was followed by complete silence. Ginny’s eyes started filling with tears, but she blinked them away furiously.
“Harry, you’re not going alone,” said Ron quietly.
Harry didn’t answer.
“Why do you have to do this now?” whispered Ginny, still on her feet.
“Because I just do, okay?”
“It’s not okay.”
Harry couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes. He sank back down into his chair and put his head in his hands.
“Ron, Hermione, and I are leaving tomorrow morning,” he said into his palms, then stood and walked out into the garden. He sat down by the pond, just watching the water ripple in the slight wind. He shut his eyes and lay down on the grass. He didn’t know how long he’d been there when he heard someone sit next to him, and smelt that familiar flowery scent. He opened his eyes and looked into hers. Those beautiful brown eyes were staring at him.
“I don’t want you to go,” she started.
“Ginny-” he said, while sitting up.
“No, let me finish. I don’t want you to go, but I know you’re going to go anyway. I wish you would let me go with you, but I also know you will never let me.”
Harry smiled slightly.
“I'm not going to tell you to be careful, because for some unknown reason, you get yourself in tight spaces anyway.”
He chuckled. “You know me too well.”
Her face was serious again. “I'm scared for you, Harry. I really am. More scared for you than I am for myself.”
“Well, I’m absolutely terrified for you. Just knowing me puts you at risk-”
“Harry, shut up,” she said frankly.
He grinned in spite of the seriousness of it all, “Make me.”
“Gladly,” she smiled innocently.
Several minutes later, they resurfaced from lack of oxygen.
“Don’t do anything stupid, Harry.”
“Me? Do anything stupid or on the spur of the moment? Never,” he laughed.
“I'm serious, Harry.”
He sighed. “I know you are. Sometimes I just wish we didn’t have to be.”
She hugged him, and said into his neck, “When this is all over, you can go as mental and unserious as you want.”
He grinned into her mane of red hair, “I'm going to hold you to that.”
For the first time, Harry found himself thinking about life after Voldemort. There was the biggest chance Harry wouldn’t make it out alive, but he was going to fight against those odds, because there were people in this world who truly cared for him. Harry wanted to really live He wanted to be spontaneous and take risks. He wanted to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted, and not have the danger of being killed constantly hanging over his head. Harry had so much to live for; this was just the first time he had truly realised it.
Harry Potter and the Battle to the End by lisa_lovegood
Chapter Notes: Yes, I know it has been months, and I am so, so, so sorry! There has been an awful lot of drama with betas, two of which seem to have disappeared off the face of the planet. But many thanks to Sour.Apple. and narniafreak730 for beta-ing.