Dear Journal,
Today I sent out the OWL results. How fun! I love failing people miserably. All but Harry Potter, because Albus told me he would speak to JK so she would kill me off if I didn't. So I had to.
One day I swear, I'll kill Potter. But for now I am in his debt, because his father cured me of my bad breath when he cleaned my mouth in fifth year.
Sevvie
Dear Journal,
I have made up my lesson plan. I will terrorize everyone, then try to teach them something really hard.
Oh! I remember now! There is an office meeting tonight. Better go.
Sevvie
Dear Journal,
That was one hell of an office party. Minerva drank one glass too much of Firewhisky. Did I say glass? I meant bottle.
So the party went a bit wild. I tried to tell her she was drunk and should give me the keys to her broom, but then she transfigured me into a cow made of orange Jello!
So now I have to be careful when I eat because if I eat something heavy my second stomach rips.
Sevvie-the-cow
Dear Journal,
Why are students so mean? Weasley threw a bottle at me so now I have a bottle in my head.
Which is why I lost fifty IQ points cv4regtyyfrujikolpikjuyhtgrfgyhuj and oidasdjflknv...
Sevjhlks-the-comks
Dear Journal,
The good new is, I got my IQ points back. The bad news is, Minerva changed me into a horned toad after I gave her some wine.
I am now dictating to my quick-quotes quill that once was owned by some disco freak that was sexily massaged HEY STOP THAT!
Dear Journal,
I am going to Transylvania for a while to be changed back into my old self.
So I will probably buy a new journal on my way there. One that transforms you into a cow made of orange Jello when you come near it.
Sevvie