Chapter 17
A New Year and a New Beginning
The days went on and everyone marveled at how quick Lily had gotten back into the swing of things. However, despite her convincing mask, the way she felt inside was drastically different than what she conveyed to others. No matter how much she told herself to get over it for her and James’ sake, she continued to cry herself to sleep every night.
If Lily had not had James, she was convinced that she would have given up on life until she wasted away into nothing. His presence continually reminded her that she still had something to live for. During the day, the wedding plans were the only thing that kept her from breaking down and crying.
One such day, James came in and sat down next to her on the couch. Despite the cavernous size of it, he managed to get as close to her as he could. Lily hastily looked away and wiped her eyes quickly. She had let her mind wander while sitting, thinking that her mom should be with her to plan her wedding but knowing that was not possible.
“You okay?” James asked, concerned.
Lily turned back to him quickly and pasted on a smile. “I’m fine. Just had some dust in my eye,” she answered, a little too cheerfully. James was not convinced but let it slide, not wanting to stir up her quick temper, especially since her sensitivity was heightened because of the events that had occurred that week.
“Okay. What’cha working on?” James asked, looking down at the bridal books.
Lily grabbed them off of the table quickly before James could see the dress she was contemplating getting. “Nothing,” she said, with a sly grin. “You know you’re not supposed to see the bride’s dress before the wedding.”
“Well, no matter what it looks like, you better plan on spending the week after the wedding in bed,” James said, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Unless you’ve changed your mind about waiting…” he trailed off while moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively.
Lily threw her head back, laughing. James was so happy to see her laughing but still knew something was up by the reserved look she held in her eyes. “You know you don’t have to act cheerful if you’re not. I can tell something’s bothering you. Let it go; I’m here for you.”
Lily looked up at him and James was afraid she was going to blow up at him. “I just think it would be much easier if my mom was here to help plan the wedding. That’s what mothers are supposed to do. Never mind the fact that my own dad won’t be there to walk me down the aisle,” she gasped as this fact hit her fully. She imagined walking down the aisle to meet James, alone. The thought made her eyes well up. She got up and walked over to the window, hiding her tears. She could see the snow falling down outside and remembered when she, Petunia and her father would build a snowman on days like these. The memory made her cry even harder.
James came up behind her and she was suddenly aware of two strong arms coming around her waist. She grabbed on to one of his hands and was grateful that he didn’t try to comfort her with words at the moment; she wasn’t sure if she could handle that. That was something she loved about James; he always seemed to know what she needed and when was the right time. When her crying calmed down, he began to speak.
“Lils, I have an idea,” James said, tentatively. “What if I walked you down the aisle?” Lily turned around and stared at him blankly. “Of course, I don’t have to. I just thought maybe you would prefer that rather than walking down alone,” he added sheepishly. When she continued to stay silent, he gave up. “Just forget I said anything, Lily. We’ll work something out.” He then turned around and began to walk to the kitchen until he heard her voice, soft and quiet.
“James?”
When James heard her speak, sounding more like a plea than anything, he spun around on the spot. When he saw the look of anguish on her face, he ran to her, wrapping her in his arms and kissing the top of her head. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry. I just thought it would be a good idea. Just forget about it.”
Lily pulled away slightly so she could look him full in the face. “James, I’m not crying because I don’t want you to. It’s just, that was the sweetest thing you’ve ever said. I’m so lucky to be the future Mrs. James Potter,” she said, passionately.
If James was with anyone else, he never would have let slip what he did next. A lone tear ran down his cheek and he glanced to her lips, silently asking for permission. When Lily nodded slightly, he moved his lips toward hers painfully slow. So slow in fact, Lily felt as if a day had passed when his lips finally met hers. As quick as they met, he pulled back, his lips still touching hers. “I love you, Lily,” he whispered, both of them shivering at the contact of their lips.
“I love you too, James. More than you could ever know,” Lily replied, and then pressed her lips to his again. When she felt James take her lower lip in his mouth, she moaned, giving James even more confidence. He nibbled slightly on her lip which caused her to grab a hold of his hair pushing their faces even closer together. She felt him smile and then she felt him move his mouth to the area where the neck meets the shoulder. He began kissing and nibbling on said area and move over the length of her collarbone and then up her throat. Lily had long since had her head thrown back, enjoying the feeling of his lips and teeth on the sensitized skin of her neck. With every kiss and nibble, she moaned even more causing shivers to travel through James every time. When he finally moved up her neck, he heard the thing that set him over the edge. In an impassioned whisper, she uttered, “James.”
He had dreams like this before but never imagined his name coming out of her mouth in that manner. He then began a brutal assault on her earlobes, running his tongue and then teeth over the shell outline of the ear. “You don’t play fair,” she managed to get out.
James pulled back and laughed. “All’s fair in love and war.” He then pulled her to him, just holding her, enjoying the feel of her breath on his throat and his chin atop her head. They stood like that for a long time before she pulled back, kissed him on the cheek and walked back to the couch.
When she saw his disappointed look at her miniscule peck on the cheek, she giggled. “I can’t show you all my moves yet. You have to wait for the wedding night for that,” she said, slyly.
James got a look on his face that clearly said he wished they were getting married tomorrow, but he reluctantly obliged. He then heard Sirius call his name, most likely wanting him to come out and play Quidditch. He ran over to swiftly kiss Lily before saying, “Love you, sweetheart. See you at dinner.”
“Love you too. Make sure to wrap up, it’s cold outside,” Lily said, in her most mother-like tone, but he had already run out the door. She shook her head and looked down to continue looking at the bridal magazines. She could not believe James had offered to walk her down the aisle. She smiled wistfully as she imagined them walking together, her in a white bridal gown and him in a tux. She just could not wait for this wedding.
_________________________________________________________________
The next day was New Year’s and all the teenagers rushed around, preparing for a celebration later that night. At five ‘o clock, the girls rushed upstairs, saying they had to get ready. The party wasn’t even going to start until nine. How could they possibly need four hours to get ready? They boys looked at each other with a look that obviously said, Girls.
Up in Lily’s room, the girls were taking turns getting showers so they would smell fresh and clean for the night. After Lily took hers, Rachel jumped in. Lily looked through her wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. It definitely wasn’t formal or anything but she wanted to look nice for James. She decided on a simple green strapless dress she owned that perfectly matched her eyes. It came to right below her knees, a length that she liked. She then contemplated on what to do with her hair. She knew James liked it down so he could run his fingers through it. So, she decided on making it extra curly and put half of it up using bobby pins. She felt daring so she used a highlighting charm on it a friend at school taught her. She gasped in delight when she saw light blonde highlights placed strategically all over her hair.
When Kimmy saw Lily, she gasped. The dress showed the curve of her breasts and looked like it had been poured on her, it hugged so tightly. But she could not deny that Lily looked magnificent. She then looked up to her hair and noticed how great it looked halfway up. It was then she noticed the blond streaks. “Lily, you look absolutely beautiful.”
“Really? You don’t think the dress is too formal?” she asked, concernedly.
“No, it’s not, Lily. Don’t worry; James will positively drool when he sees you,” Kimmy replied, winking.
Lily blushed and could not wait to see James’ reaction. When she looked at what Kimmy was wearing, she knew her dress was not too formal. She was wearing a turquoise halter dress that showed off her slender neck. It was obvious she had to put on a lot of foundation to hide the hickies there, courtesy of Sirius. She decided not to mention it but instead told her she looked great. When Rachel came out in a simple white dress and her hair piled on her head, they all decided they looked good enough. They ventured out to find the boys sitting around the table in the sitting room, waiting for them. When James looked up at Lily, his breath caught and he started coughing.
Lily blushed and decided James looked great as well. He was wearing a jet black sweater that matched his hair and khakis that hung low on his hips. It was then she realized he looked great in anything. Remus and Sirius went to their respective dates and found spots to dance in. Funny, Lily hadn’t even noticed the slow music until now. It was then that James looked up and locked gazes with her. He wondered if this was how he reacted now, who knew what he would do at their wedding. He walked to her slowly, holding out his hand.
“Can I have this dance?” he asked.
“Of course,” Lily answered, smiling.
They found a spot and Lily wrapped her arms around his neck while he wrapped his around her waist.
“You look incredible, Lily,” James said, never taking his eyes off her.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” she replied, not being able to think of anything else to say. Her mind had become scrambled due to the intensity of his gaze.
She laid her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh and he pulled her closer. As they swayed slowly to the music, something popped into Lily’s mind.
“James, how come you waited for me all those years? You could have had anyone you wanted,” she asked.
James was startled by the randomness of her question, but thought about how he should respond. After a minute, he spoke. “Well, since second year, I knew I loved you. I know I was young but I was completely sure of it. I can’t deny that every time you rejected me it didn’t hurt. But I can say this: Love doesn’t give up like that. Love doesn’t just walk away, no matter how irritated I became with constant rejection. Every time I look at you, I fall deeper, Lily. That’s how it was then, too. I just never gave up on you.”
Lily just stared up at him, completely at a loss for what to say. “That was beautiful, James.” She kissed him, long and hard and then settled her head back on his shoulder. She couldn’t think of anything except she was so glad he had waited.
At that moment, she vowed to herself to become the kind of wife James deserved. She made it her New Year’s Vow to love him with all that she had and never stop, no matter what. And when she looked at him, she knew she never could stop, even if she tried.
A/N: Okay, one more chapter to go. I hope you enjoyed!!
Not Another Teen Love Story by 365 letters_ryan gosling 20
Chapter Notes: Well, second to last chapter! Last chapter will be an epilogue. Anyway, hope you all enjoy and for all my reviewers, Lily's not done grieving yet, trust me. Read and Review!!