Special Thanks: I just wanted to give a special thanks to my three brilliant betas, Mkblack312 (grammar & all that good stuff), MissPurplePen (canon, characters, plot, dialogue, to name a few), and Eoywn89 (keeping my characters IN character and word choice, in paticular!).
Remus Lupin was a dark-haired, rather tall eleven-year-old boy with solemn brown eyes. He was wearing dark, shabby clothes that rather matched his appearance, and was even carrying a small, patched up trunk. He observed the boisterous crowd around him with his deep brown eyes, like he always did. Nobody noticed him, nobody spoke to him, yet he liked it better that way. The less people that spoke to him, the less he had to explain about himself.
The platform for the Platform 9 ¾ at King’s Cross Station was brightly lit and filled with the laugher of children and parents. People held all sorts of colorful animals: snowy white owls, slimy green toads, and cats of all different sorts. Remus saw one boy with his parents “ a tall, skinny boy with messy, jet black hair. Remus wished his parents could have come to bid him goodbye, but they had both been working jobs since Remus had been bitten because they had almost spent all their money trying desperately to find a cure, if there only was one. These bitter, piercing memories invaded Remus’ mind harshly, but he promptly pushed them away, focusing upon the task at hand “ boarding the Hogwarts Express.
Making his way through the busy crowd, his suitcase rattling loudly behind him, he stepped onto the train. He was relieved to see that the Hogwarts students had not yet begun to enter. It was practically empty, yet Remus made his way to the back of the car and took a seat in a dark compartment to the left. Placing his trunk on the shelf above him, he took a seat, tired. He had not gotten much sleep since he had been bitten by that werewolf, that horrible werewolf that had ruined his life. He hated to remember how it had all started.
“Remus, where are you going?” questioned Susan Lupin sharply, her dark blue eyes boring into her young son’s. Remus evaded her inquisitive gaze, shuffling his feet softly on the hard dirt. Susan crossed her arms, waiting warily for his reply. Remus kicked at a nearby rock, trying to think of some way to avoid his mother’s inquiries. He just wanted to have a little fun with his friends. It was not actually the thrill of running around in the wood at night with this friends that caused him to hide the truth from his mother, it was the fear of his friends taunting him if he did not come along with them. He assumed his mother was so worried because she was a Muggle “ always afraid of him hurting himself with magic. He couldn’t let her know what he was doing or she would certainly tell him that he could not go.
A soft wind blew past the trees outside the Lupins’ home, making the old building creak slightly. The leaves rustled gently, and the wind whistled slightly. Remus felt as if their sounds were many voices hissing and scolding him for what he was about to do. “How could you do something like this to your mother,” they seemed to chide him. He felt slightly unnerved and for the first time felt a flicker of guilt prick him somewhere around his chest. He pushed these feelings aside and looked at his mother with an unwavering stare.
“I told you already,” he said in a low voice, “I’m going over to the Clements’ for supper. David invited me over. Remember me telling you?”
His mother pursed her lips. She seemed to be thinking through everything Remus had just said.
“Yes, but how many times have you said things like that to me, and then I find out you’ve done something to yourself, like the time you nearly blew half your leg off?”
Remus suppressed a sigh of annoyance. Did his mother always have to bring that incident up? He looked straight back at her and did not blink, although his eyes were beginning to water.
“I’m not lying this time, Mum. Promise.”
His mother stared at him for a second, her face expressionless. Then her features relaxed and she let out a soft sigh.
“All right,” she said, running her hands through her hair uneasily. “But don’t you let me hear that you have gotten yourself into any trouble, do you understand me?”
Remus nodded, relieved. With a wave goodbye, he ran off into the forest, heading to his friend’s home half a mile away. He felt his mother’s eyes watching him until he disappeared around a bend.
Remus closed his eyes and placed his head in his hands. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t remember. As he felt the tears swell up, burning his eyes, he blinked them back and sat up, angry with himself for bringing up the memories once again, memories he promised himself he would let go of.
Suddenly, there was a soft knock on his compartment door. Remus glanced up and saw the pretty face of a young girl with large, green eyes and short, red hair. She was smiling, holding a perfectly white cat in her hands. There was something about this girl that made him feel perfectly comfortable, even though he hadn’t even spoken to her yet. He stood up, sliding the glass door open for her, and helping her with her trunk. Placing it above her head next to his own, he offered her a seat across from him.
“Thanks,” she said in a sweet, soft voice, sitting. “My name is Lily Evans, by the way. This is Stella, my cat,” she added, patting the snow-white creature.
“I’m Remus Lupin,” Remus said in a quiet voice. Lily smiled in her beautiful way once more.
“I like that name,” she said, “Remus. Is this your first year too?”
He nodded. Lily stroked Stella’s pure white hair as she talked. “I’m so nervous. I really don’t know that much about wizards, honestly. My parents are both Muggles. ” Worry crossed her features, and she sighed.
“I’m sorry,” said Remus sympathetically. “I couldn’t really understand what you felt like. My mother isn’t a witch, but I don’t know what it would be like to have two parents who weren’t wizards.”
“You’re lucky,” said Lily, frowning. “My parents were very pleased when they found out that I was a witch, but Petunia, my sister…well, she wasn’t as pleased.” Remus could see Lily’s expression sadden slightly and her eyes focus upon the floor, but in an instant her eyes were back upon him and she was smiling.
“I’ve always wanted a brother,” he said wistfully, “and I’m sure I would have, but after the…after the accident, my parents just decided I would be their only child.”
Lily looked sympathetically at Remus. “Is that where you got those scars?” she asked hesitantly, as if she was worried she would upset him.
Remus nodded, running a hand down his cheek and feeling the long, faded scars running across his face.
Remus ran after his friends through the forest. The lofty, creaking trees moved slightly in the cold wind blowing through their branches. The moon shone brightly down on Remus. It was extremely bright, eerily so, its light a harsh contrast against the otherwise black night sky. Besides for the voices of the young boys and the whisper of the wind, the woods seemed frighteningly silent, as if some invisible threat loomed. He knew it wasn’t safe to be here after dark, but the boyish temptation of throwing stones through the windows of the old, abandoned house deep in the woods was too strong for the young boy. Besides, if he stopped now and went back home, his friends would never stop teasing him.
He was a few yards behind the boys when he heard a howl behind him. The hairs on the back of his neck stood straight up as the chilling cry echoed once again throughout the forest. Wheeling around, he was relieved to see nothing between the dark shadows of the tall trees behind him. His friends had stopped too, and were glancing around. Remus shook himself. It was nothing, probably just some wolf far off.
Suddenly he realized what all his friends were staring at. Behind him he heard the deep, husky breathing of a creature -- a hungry, ravenous creature. He turned and saw a monster from his darkest nightmares. A wolf-like, horrible, dark something. Something he only had read about…
…A werewolf.
He didn’t have time to run, to yell…only to cover his face with his arms and stumble backwards as the creature pounced.
“What was the accident?” Lily pressed on, caringly, but apparently unable to suppress her curiosity. Remus tried to block the bad memories from entering into his head, but he couldn’t help but remember it all.
A flash of yellow teeth and black fur was smothering him. He felt the creature’s paws strike his face as he leapt, cutting deep gashes in his cheeks. A sickening pain in his shoulder made him scream, but nobody came. There were yells of panic from somewhere above him, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was to stop the pain. Please, someone, he thought desperately, someone stop it. Before he felt his sight blur and vanish he heard shouts in the distance, and the loud bang of a spell from a wand. He felt the weight of the werewolf lift off his body as the creature bounded into the distance. His shoulder felt strangely warm, and he realized it was his own blood pouring from his shoulder. He saw the face of his father above him, and felt strong arms lifting him, and then everything went black.
“I’m sorry,” Lily apologized, as Remus' expression changed to a look of horror.
Remus, who had closed his eyes in attempt to forget what he was seeing, looked up and opened his eyes. Seeing Lily’s frightened face, he changed his expression.
“I was attacked,” he said simply, not wanting to lie to Lily. “But I don’t like…I don’t talk about it anymore,” he finished. Lily seemed to understand, but still looked sadly at him. Remus felt uncomfortable, not liking when he was looked at in that way. He stared out the window, remembering when he had first discovered the truth about himself.
Remus woke up with a start. The first feeling he had was the warmth of the covers underneath him. There was a bandage around his shoulder, and a fluffy pillow beneath his head.
He squinted and looked around the room, pushing himself into a sitting position. He let out a gasp and fell back onto the bed as he felt his newly-mended, bandaged shoulder send a sharp jolt of pain down his arm.
The was brightly lit, with several empty beds near him. He examined his surroundings as best he could while lying down. There was a window high above him, and he could see the sunny sky outside. He wondered how long he had been asleep.
Suddenly a fat little man opened the door and entered the room, followed by a tall, rather solemn-looking man. Remus knew these men, by their uniforms, to be Healers. He realized he was at St. Mungo’s.
The little man smiled at Remus. “So, you’re finally awake, then?” he asked cheerily, adjusting the pillows beneath Remus’s head. “Your parents have been asking about you for quite some time now.”
The solemn-looking Healer still stood by the door quietly. Then, after a moment, he came up to Remus and looked down at him, concerned.
“I’ve already told your parents,” he started, “and I think it’s time I tell you as well. Do you know what bit you last night?” he asked
Remus nodded, remembering the sharp teeth, the terrible growl, and the blood. A werewolf. There was no mistaking it. It had been nearly twice the size of a real wolf and much more vicious. “Yes,” he replied. “A werewolf. Why?”
The short healer wasn’t smiling anymore. Remus suddenly felt a lump in his throat. “What?” he said in a louder voice. “What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?” He felt a flicker of fear at the expression on both men’s faces.
“When a person is bitten by a werewolf, they…” he hesitated.
“What?!” said Remus, panic-stricken. “What happens to him? What does he do?”
“He becomes a werewolf himself,” the man finished quickly, looking away. Remus felt for a moment like he couldn’t breathe. He glanced down at his arm, as if to reassure himself that he still had skin instead of fur. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw he was perfectly normal.
“But look at me!” he insisted, pointing to his body. “I’m not a werewolf! I still look like a human!” He looked at the doctors’ concerned faces. “Don’t I?” He was shaking, despite his attempts to look brave.
“It doesn’t happen except every night at the full moon,” the short man said. “But when you do transform, you’ll have to be away from everyone. Some place where you are safe from harming people.”
“Why would I hurt people?!” shouted Remus angrily.
The tall doctor looked worried. “When you transform,” he replied, “well, your mind is different. You have the mind of a werewolf, not of a human. You’ll want to bite any person you see; you won’t be able to help it, Remus.”
“Even my parents?” asked Remus, feeling his eyes fill up with tears. “I wouldn’t ever hurt my parents! I love them!” At the thought of his parents, Remus remembered everything from the night before. How he had lied to his mother, how he had been bitten, and how his father had come and rescued him. Did his parents even want to see him anymore? Maybe they were mad that he had disobeyed them”he wouldn’t have gotten bitten if he had listened to his mother. Would his parents be afraid of him? Would they think he might bite them if they came near him?
He heard his parents’ footsteps echoing down the corridor, and suddenly he didn’t want for them to see him, to see what he had become. Would they ever love him anymore?
He looked up and saw his mother and father at the doorway. They looked concerned, but Remus could not say if it was for themselves or for him. They both looked at him, and he looked back at them. No one spoke for several seconds. Then, suddenly, Mrs. Lupin ran forward and took Remus in her arms, holding him close. She was crying. His father walked over too, talking Remus’ hand in his own. Suddenly, Remus began crying too.
“You…you don’t hate me?” he asked through his sobs. Mrs. Lupin shook her head. “Never, Remus. You are the most precious thing in the world to your father and me. We would never, ever hate you. No matter what happens, Remus, I promise you we will always love you.”
Remus felt tears coming to his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away. He noticed Lily looking at him again and diverted his attention to a raven-haired, grinning boy who was walking by the compartment, his hands full of chocolate frogs and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans.
The boy was the one Remus had seen previously, with the black hair. Remus watched as he turned and looked at the two sitting together in the compartment, sliding the door open without knocking. Remus saw a flicker of annoyance pass over Lily’s face like a shadow, but the boy didn’t seem to notice as he entered.
The black-haired boy didn’t bother being polite. “Glad I finally found a seat!” he proclaimed, turning to Lily and grinning. Lily nodded, still looking annoyed. The boy took a seat next to Lily.
“I,” said the boy, extending his hand to Lily, “am James Potter.” Lily eyed his hand with a strange expression, and shook it quickly.
“It’s nice to meet you, James,” she said, smiling stiffly. “I’m Lily Evans, and this is Remus Lupin,” she said, turning to James. James nodded to Remus.
“Nice to meet you,” he said, holding out his hand and shaking Remus’.
Remus couldn’t help it, but he liked this boy. He looked like he was clever, yet mischievous. Most of his friends hadn’t been allowed to see him after their families had discovered he was a werewolf. But now it would be his secret. Dumbledore had been kind enough to allow him to come to this school, despite the danger, and he wasn’t going to let the headmaster down. Nobody would ever discover his secret again.
“So, what about that giant tree I heard they’re planting on the Hogwarts grounds?” said James, glancing out the window at the scenery flashing by rapidly, attempting to strike up a conversation. Lily nodded knowingly.
“Yes, I just heard that it was planted several months ago. Also, it’s supposed to have some kind of magical power.” Nobody saw the slight look of fright cross over Remus’ face as they mentioned this. He was remembering what had happened and how he had gotten here.
Remus’ father and mother sat at the kitchen table, and bills and bills lay out in front of them. Remus had been unable to sleep that night, and had tiptoed downstairs, not wanting to disturb his parents. He had heard them talking, and had hidden at the top of the staircase to listen into their conversation. He had suspected something important had taken place when a tall, mysterious man with smiling eyes and a lengthy, snow white beard had showed up on their doorstep, carrying a yellowish letter in his hands and requesting to speak with his parents privately. After the man had left, his parents, smiles on their faces, had refused to answer any of Remus’ questions, no matter how persistent he had been.
“When are you going to tell Remus about Hogwarts, Henry?” asked Mrs. Lupin.
Henry smiled. “Soon, I promise. He’s probably asleep by now, anyhow.”
“You’re sure that Remus will be safe and apart from the other children when he transforms, right?”
“Dumbledore has done everything to make sure that Remus will be completely alone from others when…when it happens. He’s building a secret passageway leading to where Remus will stay during the full moon, and planting a tree over it, which should keep the other children away. And trust me, Dumbledore will make it extremely secret and hard to get to. He’s a ingenious wizard.”
Susan smiled, reaching across the table and taking Henry’s hand in her own, giving it a loving squeeze.
“I’m so glad Remus can go to Hogwarts”I’ve wanted so much for him to have as normal a life as possible. I just hope he’s safe,” she sighed. Suddenly she looked up in alarm as Remus came bounding down the stairs.
“Remus!” she exclaimed, “You were listening in!” But she didn’t sound very cross”instead, she smiled and hugged Remus tightly.
“I’m going to Hogwarts!” laughed Remus, feeling happier than he had in his entire life. “I’m really going!” He wished that moment would last forever.
“It’s a special kind of weeping willow tree,” Remus heard Lily continue to explain to James. Remus looked up. “It will attack anyone who gets near it. Smack them with its branches, actually,” continued Lily.
James grinned. “That sounds neat,” he said. “What’s the point, though,” continued James, “of putting a tree in the middle of the Hogwarts ground just so it can whack people? A joke?”
“I don’t think the teachers would play a joke, do you?” interjected Lily, smiling at the thought. Then her face became suddenly serious. “Unless they’re trying to hide something…”
“No, I really don’t think so!” interjected Remus suddenly, as the train gave a lurch. “Probably just for decoration. Making the castle more impressive.” All eyes turned on Remus, and he felt himself grow hot.
“Okay,” said James in a suspicious voice. “If you say so.” He glanced at Lily, and Lily glanced back at him, quickly, but not fast enough for Remus to miss it. “So,” said James, “who wants a jelly bean?”
Lily shrugged, holding out her hands as James dumped a pile of jelly beans into them. A voice echoed over the loudspeaker of the train, alerting all students to prepare to reach Hogwarts. James, who had left his trunk on the ground when he entered, dug through it, pulling his robe out and slipping it over his clothing. Lily did the same, and Remus followed, feeling a bit humiliated at his ragged, second-hand robes. James and Lily were both wearing clean, crisp new robes. They didn’t look or say anything about his robes, though, to Remus’ relief.
Soon, Remus felt the train come to a slow yet steady halt. Other children began to pour from their compartments toward the exit, and the three grabbed their trunks and left the compartment, Stella following behind. Suddenly, the white cat let out a yowl and dashed the wrong way down the corridor.
A girl with dark-lidded eyes, a pretty face, and thick black hair had stepped on the cat’s tail purposely.
Lily ran after Stella, dropping her trunk with a loud bang. Suddenly she crashed into a tall boy around her age with sallow skin and dark, rather greasy hair.
“Get out of my way!” he snapped, shoving her out of his way without even glancing at her. Remus saw a look of hurt flit over Lily’s features, and suddenly felt extremely angry at the sallow-skinned boy.
The girl who had stepped on the cat’s tail had followed Lily down the corridor, laughing. She was much taller and older than Lily, seeming to be in her sixth or seventh year.
“They shouldn’t let pathetic Muggleborn trash like you into Hogwarts,” she sneered at Lily. James ran up behind her, looking concerned. Remus followed, shocked at the harsh when in which Lily was suddenly being treated. Lily ignored her and reached around the boy to grab Stella, who was crouched up in a corner. The boy, unable to get through, attempted to shove Lily out of the way with his foot.
“Would you get out of my way, Mudblood?!” he shouted, stepping over her angrily. Remus flinched at the boy’s strong language, and saw Lily turn bright red at the insult. He felt like whipping his wand out and hexing the boy, but knew inside that it would not truly help Lily.
James stepped up in front of the boy. “What did you call her?” he said in a low voice.
Lily, clutching Stella tightly, stood up quickly. “It’s fine, James,” she said, “just go. Don’t worry about them.”
James’ mouth fell open. “No way!” he gasped. “Didn’t you hear what he called you?”
Lily sighed. “Yeah, but let’s just go. Ignore them, okay?”
The dark haired girl laughed once more. Suddenly, a tall boy with strikingly handsome features and gleaming gray eyes emerged from a compartment behind the girl, surveying the scene before him curiously.
“What’s going on?” he asked, striding into the middle of the five students, his dark hair falling into his eyes.
The taller girl reached over and shoved him brutally out of the way, making him glare at her indignantly. “What does it look like, Sirius?” she questioned in annoyance. “I’m cleaning filth out of the corridors,” she jeered, jerking her head in Lily’s direction.
“Well, I’m not the Mudblood,” snapped Sirius. “You don’t have to shove me, all right, Bellatrix?”
James looked indignant at the way the boy offhandedly referred to Lily as “the Mudblood” and not as an actual human. Remus felt the same way as well, surveying the boy angrily.
Bellatrix gave the boy another shove out of sheer spite and turned back to Lily. “Forget your stupid cat, Mudblood!” she snapped angrily at Lily, who was trying to coax a hissing Stella out of the corner.
James slid out his wand and took a step forward. “Don’t say that word again!” he shouted.
“I’d listen to the Mudblood if I were you,” Bellatrix said loudly, stepping closer to James so that her face was inches from his own. "She says to leave me alone. I guess she knows you'll get beaten." Remus felt a strong urge to get a older student who could help Lily out, but did not have time before chaos ensued.
James raised his wand and let out a cry of “stupefy!” With a look of shock, Remus realized James’ voice was not the only one shouting the spell. He looked back and saw Sirius with his wand out, his face full of both irritation and amusement. Although the spell was not entirely effective, both the boy and the girl flew back into an open compartment door. Sirius muttered, “Colloportus”, and the doors clanged shut and a blue light ran along the crack.
The boy ran up to the door and attempted to open it, but the door seemed to be sealed shut. The girl screamed and pounded on the walls and glass.
“Let them out!” exclaimed Lily.
Remus turned to Lily, surprised at her anger. James gaped at her and Sirius raised his eyebrows slightly, as if he was insulted that Lily was upset by the favor he had done for her.
“Why?” questioned James. “We were helping you out!”
Lily frowned and walked off, then turned around one last time. “I don’t need your help, that’s why!” she said. “Goodbye. It was nice meeting you, at least, Remus,” she said. Then she disappeared down the corridor.
James’ mouth was still wide open in shock. “What?” he yelped. “We were helping her!”
Sirius shrugged uncaringly. “Oh well,” he replied. “I wasn’t actually helping her. I just know a good moment to get revenge on my cousin when I see it.” He walked off haughtily over to a group of students, paying no attention to James or Remus.
James looked hurt, but walked off as well, leaving the boy and the girl locked in the compartment, still banging and yelling. Remus glanced back, half-wanting to ask the boys to let them out, but changed his mind.
Remus couldn’t help but laughing at the funny sight, even though he felt a pang of guilt for making Lily mad. As he walked off with James, he felt like he could actually belong with other students at Hogwarts. That was a feeling he never thought he would have in his entire life.