Why was it that I always ended up cleaning something? It was a vicious cycle: do something horrible, clean, do something horrible again, clean some more. Hermione had walked me back to my rooms after we had arrived back at school. We had all grimaced entering the Great Hall- it looked like Mr. Filch hadn’t started cleaning again since I had left. The filth written on my door was just as bad, and I tried to stand in front of it as Hermione said good-bye. She, Harry, and Ron had decided to try and track down the cup, so they wouldn’t be in school for awhile. I didn’t care.
Filch had simply shoved the rag at me and disappeared, and I was left to try and scrub down the stairs. I hadn’t cried. Crying had been doing me no good. No, I was just trying to ignore the world when I looked up and saw pasty skin and white hair.
“What do you want, Sarah?” I was exasperated. I didn’t want to deal with pity right now, or never-ending questions about where I had disappeared to. I just wanted to be left alone, so I could pretend I had no family. It was a pleasant dream.
“McGonagall’s been looking for you,” she answered. “She blew a gasket when she heard you disappeared with those seventh years. I thought she was going to kill Filch.” I didn’t say anything, just kept on scrubbing. “So where were you?” Apparently, people with no color also have no people skills.
“I… I went home.” I couldn’t tell about the Horcrux hunting, I knew that. “To visit my family.” I should have lied, should have said I went back to the orphanage or something more believable. “For Halloween.”
“So what did they do to make you so depressed?” I looked up at her sharply. Her eyes were big and round behind her glasses.
“I’m not depressed.” I stood up ready to move on, but she put her hand on my arm to stop me. My first instinct was to flinch. Her hand felt surprisingly… normal.
“Listen.” I didn’t want to listen, but she didn’t to care. “When I was at Muggle school, the kids there made fun of me, and I thought it would be really different here. It’s not, if you haven’t noticed. I’m still considered weird. But I’m used to it by now, and I just suck it up and don’t let people get to me, because they’re all blatherskites. So why do you let them get to you?”
“Why do I let them get to me?” I was furious now, all my rage from my parents’ rejection coming out on Sarah. “Well excuse me, little Miss Perfect Sarah Morgan. I’m not resigned to being hated by everybody I meet. I’m not a weird, colorless Muggle-born who has a bad habit of sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong, okay? I’m a girl from a rich, pureblooded family who had the lousy luck to end up a Squib and am having a little bit of trouble adjusting to being hated by my peers! Forgive me for not enjoying it!” I was breathing hard, and Sarah was just staring at me.
“Why are you depressed?” Did she ever let up? Well, if she wanted answers, she was going to get them. I was sick and tired of this Hufflepuff hanging on to me like a lichen.
“For your information, my family happened to disown me!” I was screaming now. “I went to my house and my parents pretended they didn’t know me, so now I’m just going to pretend I have no family, if it’s alright with you.” Now I was crying, big, gulping sobs breaking up the words. I didn’t want to cry in front of this girl.
“Why would you want to pretend you have no family?” She just didn’t get it, did she? No. She didn’t. I tried to dry my eyes, but it was hopeless, and the tears kept coming.
“It’s easier, okay? It’s just easier to pretend.” And I sank to the floor, and Sarah was sitting next to me and letting me cry like we were… like we were friends, or something. Except we weren’t. Were we?
I didn’t care if we were friends or not. I just needed to cry, I suppose, and I certainly cried that day in November. It felt like hours before I stopped, sat up, and looked at Sarah. She was watching me.
“It’s lunchtime,” she announced, glancing at her watch. “Then we have Herbology. Professor Sprout will understand when I don’t come, though. Now…” She glanced at me, grinning slightly. “Do you finally want to join us for lunch?”
She had asked that many times before, and many times before I had blown her off. But today, for the first time, I made a change. I knew my parents would hate for me to eat with Sarah. It went against everything they believed in.
So for the first time since she had asked me the question, I nodded.
Late Bloomer by Just Tink
Chapter Notes: Thanks for all your patience in waiting, everyone- although short, I hope this chapter will be worth the wait. The chapters will hopefully be coming quicker now. And for the record, any views expressed by Cassandra are not neccessarily the views I have, so please don't be offended by anything in the chapter. Enjoy!