Why was I doing this again? My mind raced back to the entrance hall as I walked in step beside Sarah. Sarah. Right. The rebellious streak inside me was cheering and jumping for joy, but mostly I was trying not to make eye contact with anybody as Sarah took me to the doors of the Great Hall. Apparently she didn’t like it.
“Stand up straight,” she ordered, eyeing me critically. “Stop staring at the ground. It’s no wonder they all attack you if you show that you’re scared of them.” She wasn’t? The students of the school terrified the living daylights out of me. “Come on, Cassandra, you can do better than that.”
I gave her a look. What did this girl expect? I had agreed to eat with her. It didn’t have to be made into a huge affair. Apparently, she caught on.
“Fine. But don’t hunch over so much, at least.” And then with a tug the door swung open, and I was standing in the doorway of the hall with what felt like every eye on me.
But I wasn’t scared. No, I marched in there with my head held high. Let them giggle. Let them have their fun. I was better than them, because I was a Pralent-
But I wasn’t a Pralent, and my new found resolve disappeared as Alta and her gaggle of gigglers stood up to confront me.
“Did the little Squib girl get back from her vacation, then?” Her smirk was self-satisfied as Ophelia and Emily stood in the background. Wait- just Emily stood in the background. Where was Ophelia? I didn’t have time to think about it. “Does the union allow you days off, then? Maybe you should protest for longer trips. Nobody missed you.” Emily smirked with Alta, and my face burned.
“Look at her, Alta; she’s red as a tomato!” Emily was sniggering, and Alta soon joined her. Why couldn’t the earth open up and swallow them?
“Abrams, don’t you have better things to do?” I spun around. It hadn’t been Sarah’s voice, but it was a voice I recognized just the same. Joanna stood next to Sarah, her arms crossed across her chest. “Like get up your Transfiguration grade, perhaps? Last time I heard, you don’t have time to be picking on anyone.” Alta flushed, and although I had turned to face Alta again, I could imagine the grin that Sarah was probably wearing.
“You’re one to talk,” Alta shot back, regaining her composure. “Friends with a Squib and a freak? Maybe you should work on your social calendar, Slytherin, if all your friends are Squibs or Hufflepuffs.” Joanna barely blinked, but Sarah pushed me aside, ready, I suppose, to confront Alta herself.
“You know what your problem is, Alta?” Sarah shot out. “They put you in the wrong house. The Sorting Hat must have been confused, because it’s obvious that if anyone doesn’t belong in the house of the noble, brave, and true, it’s you.” Alta’s face turned redder and redder as Sarah stood there. Joanna had moved off to one side, but I was still standing almost next to Alta as she pulled back her fist and punched Sarah in the jaw.
Sarah stood there, her hand reaching up to touch the blood that was on her face. It was the most colorful thing about her, and she seemed fascinated by it. Then she spoke.
“That’s all you’re going to do?” Her glasses had been knocked off her face, and her blue, blue eyes seemed to search Alta. “Punch me? You honestly think-” she stopped as Professor McGonagall finally reached the incident.
“Abrams! My office! Now! And Morgan, to the Hospital Wing. Ockley, go with her.” Joanna looked around with a start as Professor McGonagall called her name. Sarah nodded as a protesting Alta was led to the Headmistress’s office.
“Eat at the Hufflepuff table; we’ll meet you later,” Sarah called over her shoulder as she left. Well, this was great. Just great. Not only did I have no idea what had just happened- had Sarah and Joanna defended me? - But I was left with no one to sit with. Except for the Hufflepuff table. But if I sat there, Mother and Father would hate it. They hated Hufflepuffs. They-
Strengthening my resolve, I made my way over to the Hufflepuff table.
So that was one obstacle crossed. Now, there was a second one. Where did I sit? With the first years, probably, but I didn’t actually know them. I wasn’t a brave Gryffindor. I wasn’t even a loyal Hufflepuff. I was houseless, so I was most likely traitless.
I did notice a group of short boys and girls sitting at the end of the table. I had seen them talking to Sarah before. But what if they hated me? What if they called me a dirty Squib? What if they made fun of me?
“Pralent,” I said to myself, “get a grip. What more can they do that hasn’t happened to you already?” Perhaps when the worst had already happened, the rest was easier to take. Who knows? But willing each foot in front of the other, I took the few steps that were left to arrive at the group and sat down at the very end of the table.
“Hello,” I said. “I’m Cassandra.” Utter silence from the group at the table as they stared at me. I tried not to make eye contact. “I’m eating here today, so if there’s anything about me you’d like to make fun, go ahead and get it over with now.” I was shaking in my seat, my hands quivering as I took a sip of pumpkin juice. “Anyone?”
“Hi.” I glanced up in surprise. A sickly looking boy was smiling at me from the seat diagonal to me. “I’m Carter.” He seemed to be the signal for the rest of the group.
“I’m Jane.” A girl who looked exactly like Carter gave me a shy smile.
“I’m Mirabelle.” This girl had long, long black hair that went below the chair. I wondered if she could sit on it. “Sarah’s told us about you.” She wasn’t smiling. “She said you might be eating with us.” Did I detect a hint of menace in her voice? Not that I cared, of course. I didn’t care about anyone anymore, which made it easier to respond the way I did.
“So what’s wrong with you?” They stared at me, confused, as I took another sip of juice.
“What?” Carter didn’t seem all smiles anymore.
“Well, you’re friends with Sarah. As far as I can tell, she only befriends people who have something wrong with them. So what’s wrong with you?” Why did Mirabelle seem so angry, and why did Jane look shocked? It was the truth.
“Have some chicken.” Jane’s voice was small as she put a leg on my plate. “It’s very good.”
“No, seriously!” I smiled politely at them. “What makes you guys so strange that Sarah is your friend? Because let’s face it, she likes the scrape the bottom of the barrel, doesn’t she?” I laughed merrily. Now Mirabelle looked furious, and Jane was staring into her lap, ignoring her food. “Speak up, don’t be shy. It’s not like the rest of the school doesn’t know about it, I’m sure. I’ve just been out of the loop for awhile.”
Jane leapt from the table and ran out of the hall, tears streaming down her face. Carter, giving me a horrible look, ran after her. Mirabelle remained at the table, staring at me in disbelief.
“She took a punch by a Gryffindor for you,” the girl said, still staring. “And you repay her like this? By making fun of her friends?”
“Why not?” I replied with a shrug. “The three of you never leapt to my defense. I’m sure you made fun of me. Just returning the favor.” The girl looked like she wanted to slap me across the face, but she restrained herself, simply standing up from the table and shaking her head.
“Maybe there’s a reason nobody likes you, and it’s not because you’re a Squib.” With that, she walked briskly out of the hall, presumably to follow Carter and Jane. Not that I cared. It was a dog eat dog world out there. The world hadn’t treated me very nicely, so why should I be nice to other people?
Shrugging my shoulders, I resumed my lunch and took a bite out of the chicken. Jane was right. It was good.
*
After lunch I went up to the Hospital Wing to find Sarah lying in a bed, sipping a purple potion and grimacing. Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen, so I went in and sat beside Sarah’s bed. Joanna, I assumed, had gone on to her next class, but I didn’t have classes, so there was nothing better for me to do.
“Oh, hello, Cassandra.” Sarah looked genuinely glad to see me. Whatever. “Sorry about the scene back there. I was probably asking for it.”
“Sure.” I wasn’t listening, just staring at the wall and trying not to think.
“I didn’t think I’d be this long, but the painkillers Madam Pomfrey gave me turned my hair purple. Some sort of allergic reaction. I might be in here a little longer while she finds a different potion. This one just changes my hair back. So how was lunch?”
“Mm,” I agreed, still staring at the wall.
“Cassandra!” I looked up with a start. Sarah seemed annoyed.
“What?”
“How was lunch?” Should I tell her? Yes, I decided. It didn’t matter, anyway.
“It was fine,” I told her. “I met Jane and Carter and Mirabelle.”
“Did you like them?”
“I made Jane cry, Carter run after her, and Mirabelle lecture me,” I informed her, and I got a very good look at her tonsils as her mouth dropped open.
“Oh my gosh!” It was amusing how shocked she was. “What did you do?”
“I just asked them what was wrong with them, since you only befriend freaks.” Why did she look so angry? It was the truth, after all.
“Cassandra, you-” she shook her head. “Those are my friends! Why on earth are you acting this way?”
“Because I can.” There was no hiding the bratty undertone in my voice. “I got hurt. Why shouldn’t they?”
“They already did!” Sarah pounded her fist on the bed. “Jane and Carter’s mom was killed last month. A Death Eater attack in London. You just told them that they were freaks because they didn’t have a mother!”
“So what!” I shot back. “So what? I don’t have a mother. I don’t have a father, either. Why should they get to be happy?”
“Shut up, Cassandra!” Sarah was spitting mad now. “Listen, I realize you led a sheltered life, and that it’s not your fault that lousy things happen to you. But that doesn’t mean you can take it out on everyone else. Just because you have bad parents doesn’t mean that you need to hate the world, alright?”
“They’re not bad parents.” I jumped up from the bed, refusing to let Mother and Father be talked about by this Hufflepuff. “They just had a momentary lapse of judgment, when I go home for Christmas everything will be fine!”
“Will you listen to yourself?” Sarah was breathing heavily now. “Cassandra, you have bad parents. Accept it and move on. The world doesn’t revolve around you, no matter what your parents made you think, and there are people in the world who have it a lot worse than you do. Your parents sent you away to clean hallways for seven years. That’s not what good parents do, okay? It’s just not.”
Deep down, I suppose I knew that Sarah was right, in a way. But I wouldn’t accept it. They were still Mother and Father, and I knew they loved me. I couldn’t let go of them as easily as I had thought. But Sarah had struck a nerve. Maybe I wasn’t the only one with problems. What would I do if Mother died?
“Don’t make me eat with them again,” I said in a small voice. “It was stupid of you to think they would accept me when they had never tried before.”
“Probably,” Sarah agreed. “Tomorrow, we’ll eat outside. Maybe Jo will come with us.” I glanced at her.
“You don’t hate me?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t. But I might if you keep taking your problems out on me, got it? I’ve got one or two of my own.” I smiled. I was still upset, but maybe being friends with Sarah would help me. I’d tried everything else. Maybe friendship was the key.
“Got it,” I said. “And, Sarah…” I took a deep breath. What I was about to ask her was probably a stupid idea. She’d probably laugh. But suddenly I really hoped she would say yes. “Do you think you could tutor me? Since I can’t go to class, maybe after I finish cleaning every day you could teach me some lessons? I don’t want to fall behind.” I expected her to laugh at me. But to my surprise, she didn’t.
“I think that’s an excellent idea,” she declared. “And Jo would definitely like to help with that. So… friends?” I loved the word, savored it in my head before finally nodding my head.
“Friends.” What a wonderful syllable! It filled my world with joy and hope.
“You better get back to work,” Sarah declared, glancing at her watch. “Filch will have another cow. But Jo and I will meet you in the library tonight at seven, okay?” I nodded.
“Sounds good.” Friends. Sarah seemed to be filled with color. “I’ll bring some food.”
“One more thing…” Sarah looked mischievous. “Since we’re friends now, can I call you Cassie?”
“No.”
“Cassandra it is, then.”
“Cassandra,” I repeated, loving the sound from the mouth of a friend.
Late Bloomer by Just Tink
Chapter Notes: Thanks to my great beta!