Unforgiven
She looked around at the horrifying sight that was strewn over the hushed grounds of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Only the shallow breathing of those who were still hanging on to their lives and the pitiful cries of those injured could be heard.
Night had fallen. Day had taken with it hundreds of young heroes and heroines, who gave their lives to defeat the sinful enemy. The sweet summer breeze – that was tainted with the sickly smell of fresh blood – swept over the dead bodies gently. The stars were immobile. Every living thing looked traumatized at the destruction that the battle with the Death Eaters had brought with it. Deep inside she knew that there was more to come, but the worst part of the war was finally over, after endless weeks of antagonism between good and evil.
Narcissa sat down against a wall, trying to digest the scene before her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. Suddenly she felt like a small child again; like she needed someone to lean onto. But no one was in a fit state to help her. After all, she wasn’t hurt, she was just emotionally lost.
She gulped. Her eyes were open wide, hardly ever blinking, and focusing on nothing in particular.
Why had she come here? Wasn’t this what she was expecting? Then she realised that she never actually thought about what the after-war scene would look like; she had always forced herself to put it to the back of her mind whenever Lucius or Bellatrix talked about the war.
She wondered where Lucius was at that moment. He said he’d meet her when it was over. And Draco? Where was he?
Tears stung her eyes and she covered her face in shame.
Where was Draco? Did he fight heartlessly like his father had always taught him to? What if he is injured, or worse? She shuddered when she thought about it.
With the intention of finding Draco, she stood up abruptly and walked slowly but surely along the lakeside.
Where would she search for him?
She forced herself to look in the opposite direction whenever her eyes met limp bodies on the ground. The gamekeeper’s hut stood subdued in the middle of it all. As she walked towards it, she noticed the broken windows and the smears of dried blood on the dark grass.
Narcissa heard angry voices coming from within. Words like betrayal and mercy, along with an interesting combination of swear words, were the only things she could decipher. She hardly dared to breathe, but anyone could have heard the furious beating of her heart.
The back door to the hut – close to where she was standing – flung open, making her a gasp. A middle aged man, with grey eyes and white-blonde hair, stood in the doorway. She was stunned to see her own husband there, instead of celebrating and drinking brandy with his acquaintances like she thought he would be.
“Narcissa,” he uttered, looking mildly surprised. “I should have known you would come. Now come on in. I was just having a small talk with my son here.” The usual hint of haughtiness was present in his voice.
Narcissa looked around her. The moon shone softly through the tiny window and onto the broken furniture. She flinched as she examined the blemishes of dark blood that were on the pale wall. The faintest of cries were heard from inside a cabinet. It is probably some wild creature, Narcissa thought.
Her eyes were avoiding the area where Draco was standing. She could feel his gaze, and wondered what he was thinking. She feared that his eyes were accusatory and harsh. How she craved to see those trustful eyes again that used to look into her rather than at her.
She forced her eyes to look in his direction. His eyes were expressionless but she could tell that he was feeling uneasy. His breath was shallow and his jaw was clenched.
Narcissa was scared. She didn’t want to know what they had been talking about before her interruption. But Lucius seemed keen to finish off what he had started.
“Draco, as I was saying, your sins are not forgotten by the Dark Lord. They are cowardly sins, Draco – ones which prove that you’re the most unfaithful creature that has ever laid eyes on our Master. You had failed your very first challenge, but you were quite young so the Dark Lord let it pass. You’re lucky that Severus saved your skin. But now you’re in the state of adulthood, and no one feels sorry for you anymore.”
Lucius looked tense and agitated. He was inhaling deep, long breaths while inspecting Draco’s expression.
Narcissa looked wide-eyed from her son’s numb features to her husband’s malicious eyes.
“The Dark Lord and I had a discussion this morning and we both agreed that your behavior was unforgivable and that you deserve to be taught a lesson,” he continued, with a malevolent smirk developing on his lips.
“Lucius,” Narcissa begged in a thin voice, like a child whose mother had taken away her lollypop. “Please, don’t do anything stupid.”
“I won’t Narcissa, love. I’m just following orders from my superiors,” he said, in a mocking voice.
Lucius took out his wand, pointing it in a threatening manner at is son.
Narcissa screamed in a way that couldn’t have been humanly possible as a flash of blinding green light hit Draco. She was immobilized with fear as her son’s body fell limp onto the ground with a deadly thud.
No tears came. Everything felt numb, and her whole body felt icy cold, her blood wasn’t actually circulating anymore. Her eyes were opened wide and, for some reason, she hardly dared to breathe.
Small movements from the corner of her eye made her turn, only to find that her husband had disappeared.
Narcissa rushed to Draco’s side. Fresh tears squeezed from her emotions streamed down her face, and onto her son’s shirt. She put her hand into his and sobbed vulnerably. No sign of life was left upon her son’s body. She was scared.
Suddenly, all she wanted was to get away from that place, away from her son’s dead body. She forced herself to stand up and without looking back once, she stormed out of the hut.
Terrifying silence had fallen upon Hogwarts’ grounds. She took out her wand from an inside pocket and disapparated to her house.
Eerie stillness greeted her at the infamous Malfoy Manor. For some reason, she felt strange, as if she was unwelcome in this house, the place where Draco had called home for so many years.
Narcissa staggered towards her bedroom. She lay under the warm sheets for hours, or so it seemed, and her body was still trembling with cold. Feeling the soft pillow under her face, she used it to cover her tears. Her eyes fell on the empty space on the bed where Lucius should have been.
Thinking of him made a bout of anger explode in her stomach. This anger was blended with despair and fear – anger that would have killed Lucius if he had been there. She turned to look at a framed photo on her bedside table. Terrible sorrow overcame her body as she gazed at it. It showed a beautiful woman with silky hair, smiling blissfully as she held a baby in her arms, and a young man whose face was passive.
Narcissa put it aside furiously. She shifted to the opposite direction, and closed her eyes.
*
The frail beam of sunlight that was seeping through the window made Narcissa turn and smile lazily without opening her eyes. She felt exhausted for some reason, and it couldn’t possibly hurt to sleep for another couple of hours.
Then she remembered. The weight of truth pulled her down as she recollected the previous night’s events. Draco was gone. Her Draco was gone. Someone had taken him away from her. Her husband – his father. Lucius – the murderer.
Keeping her eyes tightly closed, she didn’t want to cry again. All she wanted was to hug Draco once more and to sing him a lullaby like when he was little. She craved to feel his soft silky hair under her fingers. The memories ached terribly, somewhere within her chest, where her heart should have been. Suddenly, everything seemed so bogus, so unreal.
She got out of bed slowly. Her head swam as she walked towards the mirror. She examined her face carefully; her eyes looked miserable and tired. They awfully reminded her of Draco. They had the same colour – light blue fading into grey – and the same look of superiority – a Malfoy’s look. Her hair was tangled but she didn’t bother to do anything about it. She sighed sadly and looked away.
She heard a sharp tap against her window. A small brown owl looked at her; it was impatient but quite proud of itself. Narcissa got out a few pieces of silver from her pocket and gave them to the owl as she took The Daily Prophet from around its leg. The owl flew away quickly.
Narcissa went into the kitchen and made herself some strong coffee as she unrolled the newspaper. She flipped through the page, identifying the headlines that were about war. It was to be expected. The only thing people talked about nowadays was the war.
One particular article caught her attention. It was entitled “Motherly Love?” For some reason she couldn’t concentrate on reading one whole sentence. Words like murder, shock, war and love seemed to fly across the page. Narcissa gasped as she saw Malfoy mentioned in the article. She focused on reading the text.
Twenty-year-old Draco Malfoy was found dead late last night after it is thought that he was hit by the Killing Curse. Prime suspect, Narcissa Malfoy, who is also the man’s mother, was seen coming out of gamekeeper’s hut at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
The dead boy’s father, Lucius Malfoy, was not present at the battle or at the time of the killing. No proof has yet been found. Suspect to be questioned shortly.
Only then did the words sink in; there was no need to read more. She realised that her breath was caught in her throat and her heart was beating furiously with alarm. She felt a sudden burst of rage in her stomach, aimed towards Lucius. No, rage was too soft a word to explain what she was feeling, pure hatred seemed to fit better.
She needed to think quickly. Narcissa grabbed her wand and threw it in her pocket while she looked round the room once, but she couldn’t find anything else that would be of use.
Narcissa knew that hiding from something she hadn’t done was cowardly, but she didn’t care. Never did she want to lay her eyes on Lucius again, nor did she want to witness anymore of the war. She would go to a place where no one knew her, where she would feel respected and loved; a place where memories from the past would be thrown to the back of her mind, but not quite forgotten. After all, she had nothing to lose now.
Where could she go? She didn’t know of any good hiding places.
Trying not to let herself panic, she muttered something and disappeared, leaving behind all her luxuries, money and memories.
*
The subtle sound of the chirping birds made Narcissa smile. The gentle breeze was refreshing and the view was picturesque. The sun, which was partly hidden by snow white clouds, was rising over the calm sea.
She sat on the soft sand appreciating what she was surrounded by, not letting the dark thoughts come to mind.
It looked so natural and so perfect. No one could possibly find her there, hidden amongst millions of Muggles. She would find a job soon, just like one of the Muggles, and start a new life. She didn’t care about the hatred towards this way of living that Lucius had developed in her.
Deep inside her heart, she felt something unfamiliar; something that she recognised as a new sense of freedom.
She looked at the tranquil sea that lay in front of her. Its colour reminded her of Draco’s eyes. He’d have wanted her to be content, and she hoped that wherever he was now he too was feeling the sensation of liberty.
But with Lucius it was a different situation. She couldn’t possibly forgive the torment he had caused her and all those times he had stabbed her in the back. Maybe in a few years she would, but in the present the pain was far too deep to be excused. Maybe she would even go back to the Malfoy Manor, if it’s still there, after the war ended.
The bitter knowledge that Draco would never come back was painful. Narcissa smiled sadly and brought to mind all the beautiful memories she had of her beloved son.
Unforgiven by silver_tears
Chapter Notes: A/N: Hello dear readers! I hope you will enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it, with the help of my lovely beta reader, Insecurity. With this fic I’m participating in the Spring Challenge #4, for Slytherin house. Thank you all for reading, and maybe taking a few minutes from your time to review?
Disclaimer: All characters belong to the mighty J.K. Rowling. I only own the plot.
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