The morning kissed the dawn good-bye. It was the first morning of the year when one could be convinced that spring had finally come. The sun shone graciously and everything radiated that the world was happy to be alive. Birds twittered, a light breeze played gently with the already green foliage of the trees, and mermaids were basking in the morning sun, their beautiful bodies shimmering in light as they were lying on an especially smooth stepping-stone. The school was still asleep; it was the first day of the Easter holidays.
The woman sleeping under lacy, ecru-coloured bedclothes snored and turned around. She could have easily done without the twittering birds and rustling treetops which she didn’t notice anyway. She slept on, having a dreamless dream.
“Wakey-wakey, deary!” A squeaky voice called from one of the portraits hanging on the walls at half past six. It was an elderly woman with curlers in her hair. She bore a striking resemblance to the snoring woman, except she had grey hair.
At the calling of her mother’s portrait Dolores Umbridge woke up at once. She allowed herself five more minutes in bed to savour the moment; for the day ahead was lessons- and students-free. Finally, she climbed out of bed, and with a spring in her step, she hurried to her built-in wardrobe. She stood almost ten minutes in front of it, because she couldn’t decide what kind of outfit would be best for the day. It was her birthday, and she secretly hoped that Cornelius would drop by to wish her a happy birthday. Of course, he always had so much to do and would probably have to attend some important meetings or conferences. She wasn’t aware of the fact that she was already trying to come up with excuses in case he wouldn’t show up.
She had breakfast in her quarters, and then sat down to her table clad in lacy covers to read a novel about her favourite heroine, Maud Mabinogion. In this instalment Maud was going to meet her future husband, the prince of a far-away land, and Dolores was excited to read about that prince.
She had read barely ten pages when a familiar looking owl knocked on her windowpane. It was Lennox, Cornelius Fudge’s owl. He bore a little parcel in his beak and a letter was attached to his leg. He dropped the parcel in Dolores’ hands. After placing that onto her desk, she detached the letter. She broke the seal and unfolded the letter very carefully.
Dear Dolores,
I’m not sure whether I will be able to visit Hogwarts today. But I would like to wish to my most reliable colleague all the happiness on her birthday! I hope you will like my birthday present; it is only a little something, but it was brought from Belgium.
Sincerely yours,
Cornelius Fudge
Minister for Magic
Dolores was disappointed and thrilled at the same time. Never before had she gotten a birthday present from Cornelius! Maybe he was ready to admit that he had feelings for her, too. She strolled over to her desk dreamily. After unwrapping the parcel, she marvelled over the little chocolate box. There was a nice flower on it and fancy fonts announced that the box contained sherry-filled dark chocolate. She opened the box and let out a little shriek of joy. She was reluctant to disturb the beauty of symmetry, yet she longed to touch a little piece of chocolate. She circumspectly picked one out and then put it in her mouth. She savoured the taste of dark chocolate as it was slowly melting on her tongue; its sweet richness caressed her like a fabric made of silk. The chocolate cracked and she enjoyed it tremendously as the taste of sherry took over her senses. She waited until the chocolate fully melted and then took out another one. After three pieces of chocolate she felt a bit light-headed. A thought crossed her mind and the idea sent her to her wardrobe again.
The mermaids had long vacated the smooth stepping-stone when Dolores Umbridge reached the shore of the great lake. She was trilling happily as she approached. After letting her robes slide to the ground, she walked into the lake. She wore a flowered, white bathing dress with a bathing cap which made her look as if she had donned a bunch of pink flowers on her head. Oblivious to the world around her, she dabbled on in the water, still feeling a tad giddy. She didn’t notice that an irritated-looking woman was nearing her.
“Dolores, for Merlin’s sake! What are you doing here?” Minerva McGonagall asked, arriving at the lake.
“No need to get shirty, Minerva!” she replied after a girlish giggle. “I’m taking a bath. You should try it too.”
“The lake must be freezing cold, come out of the water, Dolores,” Professor McGonagall ordered her, but to no avail.
“You cannot order me around anymore, Minerva. I’m the Headmistress now.” She looked over to McGonagall to see how she was taking the reprimanding.
Well, Minerva McGonagall never took being reprimanded well. She turned on her heels and headed back to the castle, murmuring something under her nose loud enough for Dolores to hear.
“Well, if you want to make a fool of yourself in front of the pupils, then, please, don’t come out of the water.”
Dolores looked up at the castle and saw that the students were hanging in the dormitory or hallway windows, observing her. She couldn’t see their face from this distance, but she was sure they were laughing. And at her expense.
“Minerva!” she called after the older witch in a pleading voice.
Dolores knew that the other woman must see the shame and awkwardness on her face. She only hoped that Minerva would act like a good fellow-woman and help her out of this embarrassing situation. She watched her colleague stepping to the heap of clothes and transforming them into ordinary black robes. Minerva held them at an angle that allowed Dolores to gracefully leave the lake by blocking the students’ view. She was really grateful for her tactfulness.
After arriving back in her quarters, she transformed her robes back and put them into her wardrobe. She dressed, sat down onto a plush armchair and leaned back, thinking. The chocolate box was still open and as a consolation she took one out, and while the sherry was working its magic, she was planning a punishment for the whole school. After all, they were all laughing and she deserved a retribution for that. Dolores swallowed another piece of chocolate and then looked out of her window. The sky was a shade of blue she adored and the spring clouds beckoned to her. She had always wanted to be a good Quidditch player, but back in her Hogwarts days no one noticed her talents. A thought crossed her mind as she looked over to the three broomsticks hanging on her wall.
She looked around and couldn’t hold back a sneering smile. She knew she had them. They all were to suffer for their impertinence. After giving her three companions a signal, she mounted her broom and rose into the air. The three young people followed her obediently. When she reached a certain height, she looked down and noted with satisfaction that the whole school was there to applaud her braveries. She rose higher and looked back to check on the two Weasleys and Potter, ascertaining whether they followed suit. They did. Of course, she made sure that they would. She had gone into the Gryffindor Common Room with a suggestion, telling them that she would allow Potter to play again if he and his little friends would accompany her to a lesson on flying-safety. Those insolent twin brothers hadn’t taken her offer, but Ronald and Ginevra Weasley had. So the four of them were flying now around the Quidditch pitch and Dolores Umbridge knew that every pair of eyes was directed at her. She enjoyed this attention immensely. She directed her broomstick towards Potter and flew with high speed at him, knowning that he wouldn’t cave. She zoomed past him a mere inch above his head. She saw his stubbornness written all over his face, but also his anguish at the possible crash.
“You see, Mr. Potter, that’s how not to fly,” she told him, her voice amplified by a spell. After all, the whole school should benefit from this lesson. She took another turn and this time she almost collided with the youngest Weasley. There was a collective intake of breath from the crowd. Dolores thought that now they would start applauding. She was brilliant at flying. But no one clapped. First there was a single ‘boo’ which was soon followed by many others. She looked around and saw their angry faces. Sobering, she knew she had made a mistake. Again. This was her worst birthday in her life and she knew she had to correct it somehow.
“Go back to your Common Rooms!” she shrieked. She saw that her amplified voice caused pain to their ears and was filled with satisfaction at seeing the outcome. They were covering their ears, but every one of them was ready to leave the pitch. She turned to Potter and the Weasleys. “You, too. And the deal is off. Your friends’ behaviour cancelled our agreement.”
She was looking at them appraisingly. She saw that Potter pressed his lips together and that Weasley’s eyes became hazy with anger, but none of them said a word. She was disappointed.
“And five points from Gryffindor,” she added finally.
“But…” Ginny Weasley began to protest.
“Ah-ah! One word and Gryffindor will be short of a Seeker again,” Dolores warned her.
“Come on, Ginny!” Potter and Weasley said, and the two of them dragged the girl away from her.
Severus Snape was enjoying his free day in his sanctum. No ignorant students, no melting of cauldrons, and certainly no Neville Longbottom or Harry Potter. Indeed, it was a potions-free day. He was reading a Roman treatise about state and power while drinking elf-made wine. Around midday he decided that it would be best to avoid the Great Hall and therefore made them bring his lunch to his study. A house-elf appeared with his meal and Severus thanked him with an ever slight bow of the head. The elf appeared an hour later to collect the tray and plates and presented him a letter from the new Headmistress. Severus opened the letter with a tired sigh; one never knew what that power-crazy old hag would devise. Had someone been there, he could have read a wide range of emotions on the usually expressionless face of Hogwarts’ Potions Master. After the initial irritation had passed, blank astonishment appeared on his face. Reading on, the astonishment gave way to a frown and finally exasperation returned.
Dear Severus,
I didn’t see you at lunch today and I was worried about you. I hope you’re feeling well. If so, would you mind coming to my quarters later today? I’m sure you would be willing to spend some time with the minister’s MOST RELIABLE COLLEAGUE. Please, visit me as soon as possible. Should you refuse, I might have to think over the results of my inspection regarding your lessons.
Yours faithfully,
Dolores
Severus buttoned up his shirt and put on his robes. He wanted to look into the mirror but then made up his mind not to, he wouldn’t make this look like it was a rendezvous, it was ridiculous enough already. He opened up the door and stepped onto the corridor. Deep inside, he was grateful that he met no students. However, after reaching the second floor, he was starting to wonder why he hadn’t met any youngsters on his way. Oddly enough, the castle was oozing silence and peace, although it should have been busy with chatting and twittering pupils.
He knocked at the door of Dolores Umbridge, still looking around, secretly hoping to catch a glimpse of someone. The silence was beginning to feel almost eerie. Finally, the door opened itself and Severus stepped inside. Upon seeing Dolores resting on her sofa, he had to suppress a derisive laugh. She was reclined there, apparently basking in a sunbeam that found its way through the open window. She must have been thinking that she was very attractive, Severus assumed. Well, he thought, any other woman would have looked quite seductive, but seeing her, he had to think of a large toad that came up from the water to catch flies. Unfortunately, he knew that this time he was the fly.
He knew because he saw the glance she threw at him. She was fluttering her eyelashes and flashed a smile at him. She was wearing a magenta satin dress, a pair of white satin slippers and was sporting a pink bow in her hair. She beckoned him closer and pointed at a stool standing in front of the sofa.
“Take a seat, please. Are you feeling well?” she asked in her usual squeaky voice.
“Thank you, I’m fine.” Severus tried to show some good manners. His ultimate goal was to remain at Hogwarts. This goal was now at risk, he was in Dolores Umbridge’s hand. Literally.
“Glad to hear that,” Dolores said cheerfully, putting her hand onto his knee. Severus recoiled immediately; it was one thing to want to keep his job, but under no circumstances would he tolerate her touching him. Fortunately, Dolores was too light-headed to notice his abomination. “Why didn’t you join us at lunch?” She looked at him inquisitively.
“I enjoyed my first student-free day too much. I didn’t want to see them at lunch. Fortunately, I didn’t meet any on my way here,” he added to augment his utterance; he knew how Dolores hated students.
“Well, of course not. They are in detention. All of them,” she added proudly, looking at him appraisingly, to see whether she would receive any appreciation for the work she had done.
“Serves them right,” Severus went on, and he didn’t even have to pretend the malicious grin that crossed his face.
Dolores changed the subject soon and started chatting about the weather, which gave time for Severus to get a good look around the room. These could have been his rooms. And if Dumbledore’s plan went properly, they would be his within the year. Severus knew that Dumbledore would make sure that this hideous person left the school. If not Dumbledore then Potter. After all, he and his petty friends were the ones who got rid of Quirrell and Lockhart and that usurper, Crouch, too. Lupin’s departure was his work, but he would leave the toad to Potter.
He was sure that next year these quarters would be offered to him. Of course, he would decline. He liked to reside in the dungeons; it wasn’t as much frequented by students. His eyes wandered to the table covered in lace and he spotted a box of chocolate. It was too expensive for Umbridge to buy it for herself, so it must have been from someone else. His ears caught notice of something unusual, but he was so deep in her mind by the time that he needed three more minutes before he realized that Dolores was speaking about swimming in the lake that morning. It only dawned on him after he learned by his Legilimency that it was her birthday.
“Fortunately, Minerva was there to help me. But I don’t want her to remember that scene. I don’t want them to remember anything at all,” she said and looked at him expectantly.
Severus knew where this conversation was heading and decided to forestall the question.
“I’d offer to brew you a Memory Erasing Potion but the ingredients are always hard to get and the potion must ripen at least six months.”
“Oh, I see,” she said, looking quite crestfallen. “But you should be able to produce me Veritaserum, right?” Her question was accompanied by a rather threatening glare.
“Anytime,” Severus hurried to reassure her. “I always have some in stock should the need arise. If you want some now I could go and fetch it for you.”
“No, stay a bit longer, please,” Dolores said with what she probably thought was a seductive smile. “We’re having such a good time! You know, it’s my birthday and I got this wonderful box of chocolate from Cornelius,” she added with false delight.
“Happy birthday!” Severus had to force himself to say the words, but he knew he had to. He had to be nice to this old hag, otherwise, he would lose his job and the consequences of that would be fatal. “I wish I could have brought you something.”
“No, really, it’s enough to be in good company. At least there is someone who doesn’t only think of me as his ‘most reliable colleague,” Dolores said, bitterness shining through her voice and disappointment distorting her face.
Severus knew that he must scan her memory more thoroughly in order to know how to behave and what to say.
“I think you are a win for the Minister,” he answered carefully, and didn’t even have to lie. It was Dolores who kept Cornelius Fudge in office. It used to be Dumbledore, but since the Ministry had proclaimed that the Headmaster was slightly mental and later declared him a liar, it was her job to help the Minister stay in office. While Dolores started on a rant about how insensitive Cornelius had been, he saw the images of the day flickering through her mind.
He always had been a good observer and at the end of his adventure through her memories, he knew that it couldn’t have been sheer coincidence that the little box of chocolate appeared every now and then, and always before crucial moments of the day. Coming to the logical conclusion that someone must have tampered with the sweets, he decided to get to the bottom of it. He knew he had to acquire a piece of chocolate in order to be able to analyze it.
Dolores was still verbally abusing Cornelius Fudge when someone knocked at the door. She sprang up as if her sofa had suddenly become scalding hot.
“Just a moment, please!” she shouted and hurried to her wardrobe. After donning her black robes, she went to open up the door.
“Dolores, I really need to talk to you.”
Severus heard that Minerva McGonagall was fuming. He suppressed a smirk and then stood up. Inch by inch he made his way to the table, towards the chocolate box. There were only three pieces left and Severus wondered whether Dolores would notice if one went missing. There were some dried petals of a rose lying in a little ashtray and he transformed one of them into a piece of chocolate. He pocketed a real one and started to make his way back to his seat, but something got stuck onto the sole of his left shoe. He bent down to pick the piece of parchment up, and after noticing that it bore the seal of the Minister, he pocketed the letter too.
He had only just sat back down when the two women appeared in the room. He saw that first Minerva was astounded at his presence, but she quickly concealed her surprise. Dolores went into her bedroom to pick up something and when she returned, Severus made his apologies and left.
He went straight to the classroom and with a reminiscent sigh he made fire under a cauldron. His potions-free day was without a doubt over. Using Scarpin's Revelaspell, he started to determine what kind of ingredients the potion-filled chocolate contained. After two hours, he was sure he knew whose work it was. It was a dull version (lacking a sprinkle of cinammon) of Morose’s Craving Fame Concoction. He knew who would have been able to brew it. He assumed that she must have read it in one of the old textbooks, because the newer ones already listed cinnamon as a key ingredient.
He went back into his office and scribbled down a letter. A house-elf delivered it and fifteen minutes later he heard the anticipated knock on the door. Upon opening it, he found not one but two students outside his quarters.
“Weasley, I don’t remember asking for your presence,” he greeted the ginger-haired youngster.
“I’m accompanying Hermione, that’s not forbidden, is it?” Ron answered, a little bit impertinent in Severus’ opinion. Unfortunately, he wasn’t in the mood for reprimanding him.
“Five points for sassiness, Weasley, and don’t be offended if I don’t invite you in. I would also advise you to watch out, I think I’m not ready to save your neck, should the headmistress find you here,” he said and then banged the door into the young man’s face.
He didn’t see that after allowing himself a wide grin, Ron pulled his friend’s Invisibility Cloak over his head. Severus led Hermione to his office and after taking his place behind the desk, he looked at her appraisingly.
“So, Miss Granger…” he started but was interrupted almost immediately.
“Sir, I’d like to apologize for what I did,” Hermione said, after handing him back the letter he sent her. Severus pocketed the letter and then turned back his attention to her.
“You don’t even know what I was going to say, so don’t interrupt me!” he snarled at her.
“Sorry, sir. I thought I was here because of the potion for Professor Umbridge.”
“You were right. I think I’ll have to subtract fifteen points from Gryffindor for illegal usage of a potion on a human being.”
“Sir, I’ll do detentions, but, please…” Hermione begged him, but Severus stopped her.
“You surely will, but the fifteen points are gone, Miss Granger. However…” he said and then paused. It was always interesting to watch the students’ faces when he gave them hope with such simple words as ‘but’ or ‘however’. “However, it was an ingenious use of that potion and you deserve ten points for that.”
“I don’t want to lose points for my house, sir. Couldn’t you make that fifteen points?” Hermione pleaded, and Severus had to respect her bravery.
“Don’t overdo it, Miss Granger,” he warned her nonetheless. “After all, you broke the law. Be glad that it’s only five points.” He paused for a second, letting the warning sink in. “And now, tell me how you did it!” He saw Hermione was dumbstruck when he flashed a brief smile at her. She probably never saw him smiling so her shock was perfectly understandable.
Hermione didn’t see Ron when she exited Snape’s office so she called out for him.
“I’m here, and I’m hungry,” Ron answered.
“Sorry, he wanted to know everything,” Hermione said and then she turned to head back to the Common Room.
“Dobby came by and I sent a message for Harry already. He is waiting for us in front of the Great Hall,” Ron informed her.
“Good. Then we can go straight there,” Hermione said absentmindedly while mentally replaying some of the moments in Snape’s office. She was walking in silence, while Ron was guessing what they would get for dinner.
“Where were you?” Harry asked them, sounding very impatient. “Umbridge ordered everyone here,” he said, after they stepped into the hall.
“Why?” Hermione asked, already dreading the answer. Her original idea was getting her into more and more trouble.
“I don’t know why but she made sure that everyone was here,” Harry answered and took a look around. Hermione and Ron followed his gaze. Every student and every teacher was present at the dinner.
“Who are they?” Hermione asked as she caught glimpse of the extra persons at the teachers’ table.
“I don’t know, but they look pretty dodgy,” Harry guessed.
“Hey, that’s Mnemosyne Forges!” Ron exclaimed, after scanning the table as well.
“And who is that?” Hermione asked him, eyeing the older witch sitting next to Umbridge.
“She is a distant relative of mum,” Ron explained. “She is an Obliviator, I think.”
Hermione knew what would come after dinner. Her suspicions were confirmed when upon emptying their plates the ministry officials got up and went to the house tables. She knew they would take the memories of the day away, and she was even grateful for that. Yes, she felt sometimes rebellious, but all in all, she respected rules, laws and authority. She smiled bitterly when she thought things over before the Obliviators cast the spell. She knew that her house-mates would never guess how Gryffindor lost fifteen points on the first day of the Easter holidays.
However, Hermione was wrong when she assumed that she wouldn’t remember anything of the day. When Mnemosyne Forges asked Dolores Umbridge about the precise timeframe they should erase and replace with a false memory, the new Headmistress of Hogwarts still wasn’t aware that someone had tampered with her chocolate, causing her to act in an embarrassing way.
In the early hours of the following day, Hermione was lying still half asleep in bed, when a memory of the previous dawn resurfaced in her mind.
She stepped into the circular room that was home to the Owlery. Shivering, she pulled her cloak tighter around her body. The place was rather draughty because the windows had no glass. There were more than one hundred owls in the Owlery and it was hard to find a special one, especially when one didn’t know where to look. Hermione looked around searchingly and after finding what she was looking for, she stepped to one of the nests.
“Hedwig, I need your help,” she said, after stroking the owl’s white feathers.
The snowy owl hooted, signalling that she was keen to hear the request.
“I need you to intercept Fudge’s owl and redirect him to me.”
Hedwig looked up, her eyes full of questions, or it rather seemed so. The girl shook her head and then explained everything to the owl, although she was convinced that the bird wouldn’t understand her reasons and plans.
“What that stupid, power-crazy old hag did to Harry cries for revenge. The potion in the chocolate will only make her crave for attention. We will have our revenge by having a good laugh at her expense, and hopefully she becomes a tad less conceited at the end of the day. That’s all,” she summed up.
She stepped out of the Owlery and almost got knocked out by a running Cho Chang. The Ravenclaw’s face had streaks of tears and Hermione couldn’t help herself, she had to ask what was wrong.