Chapter 3- Diaries and Detentions
Two weeks had passed since the fight with the Slytherins, and they were all sitting silently in their last detention of the two weeks worth they had got for the fight.
Lily was sitting in silence. She had finished the assignment that each of them had been given (“Understanding rules and responsibility”) within the second detention, and tonight, was scribbling furiously in her diary.
…I don’t know what to do. I like him so much, maybe even love him. I can’t let him know though, I like his friendship, if we take things further, maybe it won’t work, maybe he’ll never talk to me, ask me out, compliment me… I don’t know what to do; oh I wish someone could tell me what to think…
James sat watching her. She had a flawless record before this, and now because of him, her file was smudged. James was not particularly bothered about getting detention, but he had seen how upset Lily had been when Professor Dumbledore told them their punishment. He had also spoken to just James and Lily.
*******************************
He had noticed the tears streaming down her face, seen the disappointment in her eyes, at the thought that she had let Dumbledore down. He knew being Head Girl meant a lot to her, so he had tried so hard to accept all the blame, but she had stopped him. James only wanted to spare her the pain and anguish she felt. But he understood her need to tell her part. He knew she felt guilty for not stopping the fight, and how confused she was, that she went to help him first.
*********************************
The clock chimed 10 O’clock. The detention was over. James got up, and went over to talk to Lily, but she walked off. She acted as though he wasn’t there. She grabbed Cassie and Fliss, and hurried off to Gryffindor Tower before he could even say hi. She had been like that ever since the fight. During the few patrols they had managed to do, she had merely said “evening” and “goodnight”. She was even calling him ‘Potter’ again. James didn’t understand this. After all his work on getting her to like him without being a jerk, he had achieved nothing. He had sacrificed so much for her. He was disappointed with himself. What had he done that had brought them right back to square one? It wasn’t like he had hexed Snape or anything lately, well, not since he had jinxed the quills to fly at whoever passed them next…but that hadn’t been specifically aimed at Snape anyway.
He walked back to Gryffindor Tower with Sirius and Remus. He could here them talking, laughing, joking. He didn’t know what about, nor did he care. He had lost Lily. Things had been going well between them, but know he had no idea where he stood with her.
******************************
Lily lay silently in her bed. She could here the other girls talking, but didn’t join in. she was so confused about James. She could sense that she was starting to like him, but she didn’t know whether this was good. She knew he was nice enough, when he wanted to be, but they were worlds apart. So she was writing in her diary again, trying to understand what she felt.
“He’s a prankster; he has his friends with him all the time…I’m just a lonely loser. Sure, I’ve got Cassie and Fliss, but he and his friends are so close. I could never beat that. Even if we were going out, his friends would be first. And people would tease me so badly. And what if he expected me to be like him…and prank people? No, it would never work. We’re too different. I’ll have to carry on like I am, ignoring him, and ignoring this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel sick with it. Maybe it’ll go soon. I don’t want to be in love with James.”
*********************************
Next Day
They were both sitting in the Great Hall, though different ends of the Gryffindor Table. Sirius, Remus and Peter went and sat opposite Lily, and Cassie and Fliss went and sat by James.
“Morning Lily,” Sirius said to her. She looked up and glared at him.
“Did you want something, Black?” she replied, not intending for him to reply.
“Actually, now you mention it, we do,” he said, “otherwise we’d actually be eating, especially Wormtail, who can’t survive an hour if he doesn’t eat.”
“Padfoot,” Remus put in, “anyway Lily, we just wondered if you and James have fallen out, only you both seemed to be getting on, and now you won’t talk to him, and he ignores anyone who mentions your name.”
“Look, Remus…” Lily began. She had always liked him the most out of the Marauders, he wasn’t as egotistical as Sirius and James, and she found Peter rather annoying. “I don’t know what happened. I guess, me and Potter aren’t meant to get along.”
“James loves you Lily, and we know you love him too,” Sirius added, holding up Lily’s diary.
“YOU READ MY DIARY!!!” she yelled, lunging at Sirius. He got up and started to run. Fuming, she got up, and pulled out her wand.
“Furnunculus” she yelled. Her face was as red as her hair. The teachers all came running into the Entrance Hall, where she had finally cornered him.
“Expelliarmus,” Professor McGonagall yelled, pointing her wand at Lily. “Miss Evans what on earth are you doing?”
Lily turned round, her face registered the shock she felt at hat she had done. “Um…um I…I’m sorry,” she stammered.
“Finite Incantatem,” McGonagall muttered, pointing her wand this time at Sirius.
“Thanks Professor, sorry Lily…” he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.
“Miss Evans, this is not like you at all. Please explain why you decided to attack Mr Black.”
“I…um…er…he...took…” she begun.
“-I took her diary and read it, Professor. Don’t blame Lily. She had every right to curse me.” Sirius cut in.
“That as it may be Mr Black, what Miss Evans did is against school rules, I don’t care if you set her dormitory on fire, it is still against Hogwarts rules to use magic out of lessons, especially for hexing people,” Professor McGonagall said, but the expression on her face had softened slightly.
“You will both receive a week’s detention, and I expect better from you in future,” she finished. “Now I suggest you go straight to your first lesson.
McGonagall went, leaving an awkward Sirius and Lily. “Sorry Lily,” Sirius said.
“No, its ok, I shouldn’t have hexed you. We’re even now. Just don’t tell James what’s in my diary, please. It’s supposed to be secret. Even Cassie and Fliss don’t know most of the stuff in my diary,” she replied.
“Course, Lils. I wouldn’t tell anyone. You know, I’m not that big a jerk, I just wanted to see if you liked him. I’m just so sick of his moping.” He handed over her diary, which she hastily shoved in her school bag.
“Come on,” she said to him. “We’d better get to Defence Against The Dark Arts, before we get more detention from Rickard for being late.”
“Yeah…ok. Now I know you like James, can I help you?” Sirius said. “He really loves you Lily. All he ever wanted was for you to like him back.”
*************************
hope twas ok! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Let It Be by sirius_star
Chapter Notes: So, a bit more detention, and fun, with a bit of the ol romance in it! please R&R!!!