Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 2nd July, 1976
Dear Char,
I miss you!
Sorry to offload a rant on you so soon, but I've only been home since yesterday and I'm already on the verge of killing my sister's boyfriend, and no, it's not Charles Eckerly any more, she's got a new one, Vernon Dursley, or Vermin, as I have so fondly taken to referring to him as.
He resembles a mountain troll, equals a mountain troll in intellect, talks of nothing but drills, and does nothing but sit around our house whispering to Petty and sending glares in my direction because he knows I'm a witch, which just means that Petty's decided to keep this one, she never told any of her other 'beaux' that her sister was a freak. Of course, he's perfectly nice when mum and dad are around, and I'm having lots of fun doing magic in front of them (oh, the joys of being of age!) and seeing them squirm. I'm sure he thinks I'm going to attack him. I wish I could.
Therefore, my dear Charlotte, I am bitterly heartbroken that you've decided to leave me this summer... I'm trying to guilt trip you now, is it working? Please forgive me, I'm just horribly jealous that you get to go to France this year, and I must stay at home with my parents and the human definitions of little and large, for I fear that Vermin is going to be here a lot.
I'm horribly bored, and I have no one to talk to... write back to me Charlotte, I need some sunshine in my pitiful rain-cloud of a life. I fear this summer is going to be my most boring yet.
Love you to pieces (and more if you write back)
Lily x
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 4th July, 1976
Dear Mrs. Potter,
Hehe, I bet you're all annoyed now, aren't you? That’s the beauty of mail, I can tease you about Jamesie poo all I like and you can't throw a heavy and/or pointy object at me, so I say Ha! Of course I'm perfectly aware that you will murder me when we get back to school in September, but it's worth it just to picture your face.
We're leaving for France tomorrow, and I have nothing packed. You see how I love you Lily? I'm discarding a very important task in favour of writing to you, so you can't kill me when you get back, and besides, if you do, who will protect you from Potter? Mwa haha!
Your sister's boyfriend sounds sexy... (Ha!)
You poor darling! What are you going to do with him all summer? Maybe I should write to him and warn him not to antagonize you, we've all seen the famous Lily-temper, and with no James to vent on, I fear you are in danger of spontaneously combusting.. please don't, I shall miss you awfully if you do. I'm sure that with your non-troll like intelligence, you can come up with something to do. It's a pity I'm gone for so long, I would have loved to have you stay, you know my parents love you.
Mummy is calling, I hear her from downstairs, so I must go, but I love you, love you, love you loads. Give Vermin a kick up the arse for me, and give your mum a hug from me when you get your foot dislodged from said arse.
Goodbye, future wife of Jamesie poo!
Charlotte xx
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 5th July, 1976
Lily flower, the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the bulge in my...I could go on...
How are you my flower? Are you missing me yet?
Since we parted company on Tuesday morning, I have been distraught without you. I cannot eat (as much as usual) and I cannot sleep (until a half an hour after I usually do). The absence of your fiery locks and dazzling green eyes has caused an un-fillable void in my life, and believe me, it is un-fillable, I've tried everything, pancakes, steak, chicken, etc, etc.
Anyway, you may wonder why I am writing to you. Your dear friend Charlotte (you must ask her to be a bridesmaid for us when we get married) told me that you would be rather bored this summer, so I decided to shower you with declarations of adoration to amuse you. Thoughtful, aren't I?
I would ask you to write back, but I have a hunch that you won't, so I might as well tell you now that I'm going to keep writing to you until you crack and write back, and you can tell me to bugger off if you want, but you know as well as I do that that only succeeds in arousing me.
So, until next time, you beautiful temptress you,
James Potter
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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Monday, 5th July, 1976
I am going to kill you.
Pray tell me, what gave you the idea to suggest to Potter the idiot that he should contact me? Have you had a temporary lapse of sanity? Have you conveniently forgotten that I find him about as amusing as Vermin’s hairy hands (which are downright disturbing)? I have to now face a summer full of annoying ramblings from Potter. If I didn't love you so much, Charlotte Appleby, I'd hate you.
I am sharpening my butcher knives for September 1st,
Lily Evans x (and the x is given grudgingly)
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Monday, 5th July, 1976
Potter, the bane of my existence,
In answer to your question, I was fine until I opened your letter.
As delighted as I am over the fact that pancakes cannot substitute for me, I must refrain from screaming in delight, apparating to your house and ravishing you on sight, and instead stab myself in the eye with knitting needles.
Bugger off,
Lily Evans
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 7th July, 1976
You wrote back! I knew you love me!
Don't stab yourself in the eye with knitting needles, your eyes are so beautiful, it would be a sad waste, although I'm flattered that you would go so far to resist temptation. I never knew you wanted me that much. Would that be why you pushed me up against the wall in May, hmm? And here was me thinking that you were just trying to knee me in the groin... you should have said Lily..
I must admit that the thought of you apparating to my house to ravish me sent me straight to the seventh heaven of delight. You've made my week.
Have I ever told you that you're unbelievable stunning when you shout at me? And also, you have nice legs.
Love,
James Potter xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Thursday, 8th July, 1976
Lily my dear,
I was only thinking of you when I wrote to Potter. My fear that you would spontaneously combust took a forceful hold of me, and I panicked. I figured that if you had Potter to vent your anger on, you'd make it through the summer. That and I know you fancy him rotten!
France is lovely and sunny. There are also an array of beautiful men to feast my eyes on. You should be here Lily, the French boys would go wild over your hair, your eyes, and your skin, you lucky cow. Although in hindsight, bringing you would be a waste, as you would spurn them all. We all know by now that your heart has been captured by a certain messy haired, hazel eyed Quidditch player named James Potter... and before you protest, I might as well tell you this when you can't see me..
You love him! Sorry my darling, but it's obvious. You two have so much fire between you; I'm surprised that sparks haven't literally flown from your eyes whenever you're around him.
Anyway, I think I will go take a swim now.
Oh yes, I know I'm rubbing it in, but I might as well have fun before I die..
Love you,
Char xx
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Friday, 9th July, 1976
I hate you,
Lily Evans
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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 9th July, 1976
Words cannot describe how many things were wrong with your last letter.
I do not fancy him rotten. I admit he may be attractive, and yes, he has stopped bullying Slytherins, and yes, you could say that we have formed, for want of a better word, a friendship of sorts, but I do not fancy him, and I definitely do not love him.
So there, I'm sticking my tongue out at you right now,
Love, Lily xx
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 10th July, 1976
Sorry about the short delay in writing back, my dear,
No you don't.
James Potter.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Saturday, 10th July, 1976
Potter,
You're right, I don’t hate you, and I'm a big enough person to admit that I feel bad about saying that.
I still want you to bugger off, however.
Lily Evans
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 11th July, 1976
No can do, I'm afraid.
Charlotte tells me that your sister is dating an obese terror who is making life difficult for you. Want me to come and beat him up? I will do without any hesitation, a knight must protect his princess, you know.
I've been keeping your replies in my bedside table, tied up in a ribbon. Padfoot says that I'm homosexual for doing so. I punched him for insinuating that you were masculine in any way. Has he not seen your beautiful curves? Curves that have been known to drive many of the male students of Hogwarts wild with lust, myself included. His response was that maybe I was latently homosexual. I think you should tell him off.
I'm sending you 2141 kisses, one for every day I've known you, you beautiful, beautiful woman.
James P x(x 2141)
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 11th July, 1976
Potter,
What has Charlotte been telling you? I can deal with my sister’s boyfriend myself, thank you very much.
I'm disturbed that you would keep my replies wrapped up in a ribbon. Rather stalkerish, don't you think? I have also decided not to reply to the comment you made about my body, I'd rather store up the anger and castrate you when we get back.
I'm sending you 2141 slaps, one for each day I've known you.
Lily Evans
P.S. Tell Sirius that if he ever implies that again, I'll castrate him too. LE
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 12th July, 1976
My love,
What are you wearing?
James xx
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Monday, 12th July, 1976
My loathing,
Is sex all you think about? I was just curious.
Lily Evans
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Tuesday, 13th July, 1976
Lily,
Most of the time, it is, but I have been known to have quite serious thoughts.
For example, I would love nothing more than to wrap my arms around you when you feel sad, brush your hair for you when you're tired, bring you cups of tea when you're feeling sick, or hold your hand under the table during breakfast, just so you know I'm there (Obviously I would hold your left hand with my right, so you would still be able to eat).
See, it must be love Evans, I'd give up food for you...
Or I could feed you, I suppose (wink wink),
James Potter xxx
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 14th July, 1976
Bonjour!
How has it been for you at home? I miss you so much now, France is starting to get boring without you.
I hope Petunia hasn't been giving you a hard time or anything.
Just to warn you, I told James about Vernon, and Petunia. He got quite upset about it, but I warned him not to mention it to you. He really cares about you Lily, you know that. He hates the thought of anyone treating you the way she does.
I had a horrible experience in Paris yesterday.. I dropped my wand, my wand, off the top of the Eiffel Tower, which was a great way to be discreet. Anyway, it fell, hit some kind of food stall and shot sparks at some innocent little child... It was so funny! Of course, mum didn't see it that way, and she gave me a right combing down for it, but it was just so funny at the time, and I really wished you were there...
Anyway, I have to go now, I promise my next letter will be long, mum keeps dragging me and dad off to stupid sights..
You want the Potter love,
Charlotte xx
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Letters by Sarah Kavanagh
Chapter Notes: Review, review, review, I really really want you to..
Disclaimer: I hate disclaimers... Please don't make me have to remind myself that James, Lily and co aren't mine.