Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Thursday, 29th July, 1976
Lily,
No, you've ruined it now. The magic is gone, and I’m wounded.
Yours with undying love,
James Potter
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Thursday, 29th July, 1976
James,
I feel it's my duty to inform you that your 'cutting' letter was rather ruined by the 'undying love' part.
I am not going to cave in and grovel just to make you 'forgive' me (my, aren't I using a lot of 'these') so you really should change tack. You were the one who humiliated me by writing to my mother, or has that slipped your miniscule mind? Although I must say that it was funny. I'd write back if I were you Potter, I won't be in this complimentary mood for long.
Lily
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Friday, 30th July, 1976
Lily,
Of course I forgive you, my love!
You called me James! Twice! You have no idea of the dizzy heights of euphoria I reached when reading my name in your beautiful handwriting. From now on, whenever I feel disheartened, I will just read that letter you sent me on Wednesday, and console myself with the fact that one day you will be:
1) Screaming my first name (I hope you get the innuendo, it’s infinitely more difficult to be suggestive when I can’t raise my eyebrows at you)
b) Signing all your letters with ‘Lily Potter’
3) I cannot think of a third one at the moment, so I will instead tell you that you have beautiful lips
Love,
James ‘your future hubby’ Potter
xxxxxxxx
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Friday, 30th July, 1976
Dear Lily,
I'm coming home!
I know, I know, we're not supposed to be going home for another three weeks, but my mum got food poisoning! How lucky am I?
That sounds rather insensitive, doesn't it?
Anyway, she's ill, and she wants to come back home. You know my mum, she doesn't trust foreign doctors, and she won't let dad take her to a Healer. I think she's a bit miffed because my aunty Leanne had her twins before we left and she never got to see them. But who bloody cares, we're coming home on the 31st. You can come and stay! As soon as mum stops throwing up everywhere, I don't really want you to see that.
By the way, the thought of Potters unmentionables and pureed mangoes put me right off my escargot and I was very angry with you. But then mum told me that escargot were snails, and plus, that's what we think gave her the food poisoning, so I think I owe you and Potter's unmentionables a thank you. Will you thank his unmentionables for me? I'm sure he'd appreciate it more if you did.
I'm going to go pack, I'll see you soon, my pretty!
Charlotte xx
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Friday, 30th July, 1976
Potter,
Oh, you make me laugh.
I don't know what was more amusing, the way your list was in the format 1), b) and 3) or the actual contents of the list. Or maybe it's just the thought of you raising your eyebrows at a piece of parchment.
You are a hopeless arse, has anyone ever told you that?
Maybe we could talk about something not related to your raging hormones?
Lily
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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Friday, 30th July, 1976
Hurrah!
I'm sorry, I know that I shouldn't say that, but I'm so glad you're coming home. I missed you so much. I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've seen you!
I forgave Potter for writing to my mum. It's hard to stay angry with him for long. He's too bloody funny.
Petunia came home from Vernon’s looking as if she was coming back to prison after a week of parole. Vermin is staying with his sister for a while, so at least I'm rid of him now.
This letter is probably not even going to reach you, is it? It'll probably land on some unsuspecting child in the middle of Paris, with any luck, the same child who was hit by your wand sparks.
Write to me as soon as you get home!
Love you,
Lily x
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Letter from Remus Lupin to Lily Evans.. Saturday, 31st July, 1976
Dear Lily,
I had to laugh when I got your last letter. It turns out, when I read it, James and Sirius were doing exactly what you said they would be doing. I told them, and Sirius mumbled something about a lucky guess, but James is now convinced that you two have a special mind bond. He's sitting across from me at the table now, writing what is probably a tenth draft of a letter which I would bet my life is probably going to be addressed to you. It's quite funny actually.
I heard that Charlotte was going to France. She's lucky. I was in the south of France before and it is beautiful. I suppose you miss her terribly. James is desperate to invite you over for the day, but he knows that you'll refuse, so he bites his tongue. Literally. It was bleeding yesterday.
I already told you what I think about being Head Boy Lily. It's not that I don't want to, but I'm just too tired as it is, and what with the N.E.W.T.S next year, I won't have time to study, and be Head Boy. If it wasn't for, for want of a better description, my 'furry little problem' I'd jump at the chance. I know you'll understand that.
I'm sure you'll write back, so talk to you soon,
Remus.
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976
Lily,
First of all, that list mistake was deliberate. At least, that's my story and that's what I'm sticking to.
Secondly, I can talk about stuff not relating to my own hormones. What would you like to talk about? I seem to recall us having some fairly normal conversations last year.
I don't really have any news, except that I thought Sirius was glaring at me yesterday, but it turns out he was just trying to look directly at the sun.
He would write and say hello, but at the moment, his corneas have been burned out.
James xx
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Unsent letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976
Potter,
I don't know. I suppose we could talk about the fact that I can't bloody stop thinking about you.
Or the fact that the only reason I didn't want to write to you this summer was because I was hoping that if I stayed away from you, I could get over you.
Or the fact that I think you're gorgeous, and funny, and rather nice.
Or the fact that I'm really glad we called a truce last year, because now I can have normal conversations with you.
Or the fact that I look forward to your letters, I get annoyed if you don't reply the day after I write back and I keep them under my pillow.
Or the fact that I really, really miss you.
Luckily for me, I'm going to burn this letter, and you are never, ever going to see it.
Lily
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Actual letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Sunday, 1st August, 1976
James,
Well, I don't know. What do you, no, actually, scratch that. If I ask you what you want to talk about, you'll say you don't know, and ask me, and I'll ask you, and we'll keep going in circles.
I suppose I could use your advice on something. Petunia is being really horrible, and I really want to hex her, but I can't.
As the apparent prank master of the school, can you advise anything? And yes, before you die of surprise, Lily Evans is asking for your help to pull off a prank.
Lily
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Monday, 2nd August, 1976
To Lily,
It's best we don't go in circles then!
I do have an idea to deal with your sister, but you have to promise me that if I tell you, you'll give me a hug.
What is she doing to be horrible? I'm just curious. Why would anyone want to be horrible to their own sister? Especially when said sister is you. Although that said, I'm glad you're not my sister. I think that being in love with your own sister may be frowned upon.
My dad brought me into the Ministry the other day, and I met some of the people who will be training us when we go into the Auror program. They went over the first year of the course with me, and it looks pretty easy. You'll be more than able to handle it anyway. It's pretty basic Defense, although you have to know a lot about human transfiguration, so if you need any more help with that, give me a shout, although I think you got it last year. My dad wants to meet you now. He wants to know all of my friends who are interested in becoming an Auror, and since he already knows Padfoot, that only leaves you.
Don't worry, I'm not inviting you over or anything! I was just thinking that maybe we could all go to Diagon Alley on the same day, or something, where we could indulge in a completely harmless, purely platonic day of shopping for school books.
Although, you never know...
James xx
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Monday, 2nd August, 1976
Lily,
Oh Merlin, you will not believe what happened!
We got home yesterday, and I found out that my forty two year old mother is pregnant! As in with child. As in, my wrinkly old parents are in their forties and are still going at it...
I think I'm going to vomit all over the place.
Cheer me up, Lily my dear. Please!
Charlotte xx
P.S. How wrong is that!
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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Tuesday, 3rd August, 1976
To Char,
Wrong. Wrong on so many, many levels.
Does this mean that Charlotte Appleby, the girl who is famously spoiled rotten, is going to be an only child no longer?
I'm sorry, but I must laugh at your predicament!
How can you not be happy about this? I'd love a little brother or sister, probably a brother, sisters are awful. And this is suddenly reminding me of something Potter said that worried me.
Can I ask you a question Char? A serious one? I know this is going to sound a bit insane, but do you think that Potter really does like me? It was just something he said in one of his letters. He just casually said that he was in love with me, and I don't know, I can't stop thinking about it. One minute I think he does, and the next I'm convinced that it has to be a joke. Has he ever said anything to you about it? I know you've been writing to him.
I'm just curious, that’s all.
Lily xx
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Tuesday, 3rd August, 1976
James,
That sounds like a plan, I suppose.
Yes, I'll hug you. It's quite funny really Potter. You should have asked for a snog. As I am that desperate to exact revenge on my dear sister, I might have agreed to it.
But no matter, eh?
Lily x
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Letter from James Potter to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 4th August, 1976
Lily, Lily, Lily,
I shake my head in fond exasperation.
If you want to snog me, you don't have to drop hints like that. Just grab me and do it. I assure you it would be quite a nice surprise, and I promise that you'll enjoy it. And don't berate me for what I just said, you can't honestly expect me not to respond to that last letter any differently, you fiery little tease.
To annoy your sister, put a little bit of fiberglass in her bed. It'll get under her skin and itch for days, and she won't know what it is. Believe me, it will drive her to the point of suicide.
I will get you one day, Lily my flower. I plan to have those beautiful lips on mine by the end of the year. No, not the school year, this year, as in 1976.
I advise you not to try fight it Lily. Don't blame yourself. It's only natural that you have these feelings for me...
James xxx (that little 'x' you sent me did not go unnoticed)
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans.. Wednesday, 4th August, 1976
To Lily, my ex best friend,
You laugh at me! I'm hurt!
How would you feel if you knew your parents were bonking? It's not nice. I feel like I've been abused.
You know, for someone who hates Potter, you spend a lot of time talking about him...
Just pointing out the obvious there...
Charlotte..
P.S. Do you want to come and stay in mine next week? You may have to overhear my parent’s steamy sessions...
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Letter from Lily Evans to James Potter.. Thursday, 5th August, 1976
Wow Potter, your humor never fails to delight me. It fascinates me that your brain seems to tell you something completely different from reality.
Tell me, have you ever considered seeing a consultant psychologist?
Lily Evans (and thanks for the fiberglass idea)
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Letter from Lily Evans to Charlotte Appleby.. Thursday, 5th August, 1976
Charlotte,
Yes! I would love to come and stay! Thank you so much! You’ve just saved my life in more ways than one, although Petunia is being slightly more bearable now, thanks to Potter.
And while we're on the subject of Potter...
I fancy him Char. Are you happy now? Would you like me to tattoo it to my forehead? Does is please you to know that for the last six months I've wanted to throw myself on him and beg him to lie on top of me every time I see him?
I hope it does, because it bloody disturbs me.
Help me Char, I'm clearly insane.
Lily xx
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Letter from Charlotte Appleby to Lily Evans, Saturday, 7th August, 1976
Um, Lily, sweetheart?
Why did you send me a letter addressed to Potter?
Unless, of course, I changed my name, and suddenly show signs of needing a psychologist.
Am I missing something here, or did you just put the wrong letters in the wrong envelopes, because the envelope has my name on it.
I hope you didn't say anything mean about him.
Write back and tell me about staying, anyway,
Char xx
Letters by Sarah Kavanagh
Chapter Notes: Disclaimer: I own nothing but the elusive Charlotte Appleby.. Isn’t Appleby a wicked name?
I have gotten so many reviews for this story.. , which is mad... I thought this was crap, and not at all funny.