After dinner, Remus decided to go to the library. As he made his way a loud voice came from behind him, “Remus!” it called. “Remus! Wait for me!” His heart skipped a beat. It was Lily.
He stopped and turned around to see a beautiful face in front of his. “Hello,” he said.
“Off to the library, Remus?” Lily asked politely.
“Yeah,” Remus answered, fiddling with his fingers.
“Mind if I go with you?” Lily inquired smiling.
“No, not at all. If we just could hurry though, because I have that Potions essay to finish.”
“Of course,” Lily responded.
They hurried off to the library.
The rest of the Marauders were sitting by the fire deep in thought: Sirius about Aislin, James about Lily, and Peter about who knows what.
James denied any feelings he had toward Lily since this morning after his decision, though he still wondered if he’d regret it.
Sirius thought about it for the whole day, and finally decided to ask Aislin Jones to go with him on the next Hogsmeade trip.
Peter was thinking about what he would have for breakfast the next morning.
“Padfoot,” James voiced, “Do you think any one else will ever try and go for Lily?”
“Er, mate, I’m sorry to tell you the brutal truth here, but she’s not the prettiest picture on the wall. I mean, there might be one other guy, but not many.”
“What the bloody hell are you talking about? She can get any guy she wants! She’s ruddy gorgeous!”
“I thought you said you didn’t fancy her anymore,” Peter said innocently.
James blushed. “You can think someone is gorgeous and not fancy them, Wormtail,” he argued.
“I suppose,” Sirius answered, unconvinced by James’ reasoning.
Meanwhile, in the library, Lily and Remus were silent. Remus kept sneaking glances at the goddess in front of him. He sighed inside, and wondered if what James had said was really true. It would be wonderful to go out with Lily, he thought.
Lily sat deep in thought, not about Potions, but about James. Did she truly like him? Recent events had helped her discover a slight crush she might have, but was it more than just a crush? She’d known James for years as “Pompous Potter,” but has he actually changed? Has he in fact changed so much that Lily’s past feelings are thrown out the window? She didn’t know. I just need to think about it more,she thought, I just need time.
The thought of time prompted Lily to look down at her watch, and seeing that it was a half past nine, she cried, “Oh, bother! I have Head Duties tonight! I have to go." She gathered her stuff, and as she ran out of the library she added, “Sorry, Remus. I’ll see you later.”
James realized he had Head Duties. He looked at the clock in the Gryffindor common room just as Lily came storming in. “Let’s go, Potter! We’re late!” She yelled.
James sprang up from his seat and followed her obediently.
They made their way down the long, dark, unoccupied hallways, looking around for any misconduct. As Lily walked in front of James, he tried to aim his eyes somewhere else then her, but his attempts were futile. He watched as her auburn curls bounced slightly with each of the steps she took. He looked at her body curvature. He watched her backside move until…
“Potter! What are you doing!” Lily yelled impatiently.
All James could do was blush and smile sheepishly. He immediately thought, Damnit! I don’t fancy her remember? I do not fancy Lily Evans…Yes you do. No I don’t! I do not fancy Lily Evans…Of course you do. I DO NOT FANCY LILY EVANS!
Lily was flattered that James was even looking. Me? Flattered by James? …I mean, Potter? Don’t let down your walls yet, Lily!
An awkward silence stood between them as they continued walking down abandoned hallways. Lily decided to break it and asked half angrily, half curiously, “So, Potter, did you find anything interesting down there?”
James jumped as though he didn’t know Lily was there, and responded with a “Huh?”
“When you decided to follow me and have a good look, did you find anything interesting?” Lily repeated rashly.
“Er…” James went red again, but this time he wasn’t smiling. He seemed to compose himself and then added, “And what exactly was I supposed to find, Evans?”
Lily was surprised with that answer. It was very unlike James to talk to her that way. “Oh, well, I guess nothing,” Lily answered as though far away from Hogwarts.
James looked curiously at Lily when she wasn’t looking. Was she disappointed with my answer? Does that mean…No, nevermind. Unless…No, it won’t happen. Similar thoughts continued drifting through his mind.
The rest of their shift was surrounded by the uncomfortable sounds of silence. Lily was starting to realize the extent of her crush on James, and James was busy denying his feelings for Lily. And they were both hiding it from each other.
Before either of them realized it, they were back at the portrait hole. Lily spoke the password to the fat lady softly, “Bowtruckle.”
James decided to be somewhat of a gentleman and voiced, “Go ahead, Evans.”
Lily smiled and past by James on her way into the common room, and he got a whiff of her hair, with its sweet scent of flowers in bloom. He contained his feelings inside himself, however, and continued into the common room with no expression on his face.
Lily turned suddenly, almost making James run into her. She said quickly, “Good night, James.”
What the bloody hell did I just do? She thought as she sprinted to her bed. Oh well, I guess I don’t have to worry about the consequences until tomorrow… With that, she drifted off into a deep sleep, with dreams of men, libraries, and a giant chocolate factory.
Meanwhile, James remained in the spot where Lily had said those words. What the bloody hell is going on?! She just called me…JAMES! That has NEVER happened! She must be going crazy! Or is that she has finally warming up to me? He sighed and started to walk up to his dormitory. He put his nightclothes on and climbed into the warmth of his bed. Only tomorrow holds the truth…
Shortly after Lily had left the library, Remus had gathered his books and returned to an empty common room. He sat by the windowsill, and stared out at the moon. It’s going to be a full one soon. I’ve got to warn the guys tomorrow. He sighed. I’m so tired of this. Why must I be put through this torture? What did I do to deserve this? Though, I am very glad James and Sirius and Peter are there for me…I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have them…my friends, the Marauders. He sighed again heavily. Oh well, life’s just not perfect is it? I do know someone who is… His next hour was spent thinking about Lily.
All of a sudden, Remus came out of his trance of thought as the sound of a muffled voice came from behind the portrait hole. “Bowtruckle,” it said with a smooth tone. Remus’ breath caught in his throat. It was Lily. He pictured her face in his mind as he closed his eyes.
Remus’ reveries were soon destroyed by a second voice that spoke with a charming tone, “Go ahead, Evans.” That voice belonged to James. Remus was saddened, and he tried to hide from his two classmates.
He moved silently to a couch that faced the fire, and brought his knees to meet his chin. He heard a hasty, “Good night, James” from Lily, and then the sound of feet running up stairs. Remus heard James go upstairs to his dormitory.
Remus sat in silence thinking about what had happened. Do I still have a chance? Maybe…But it’ll have to wait until tomorrow. With that, he climbed the stairs to his dormitory slowly and quietly, climbed into his bed, and fell asleep.