Scary Beautiful by Eve
Chapter Notes: Ya'll are going to love the fluff.
Lily could hardly believe that 3 months had passed at Hogwarts. Not much had really changed. James and Allie were still going out, which irritated Lily to no end. Lily and Sirius talked all the time and it was kind of like having a brother. Allie was avoiding Lily like the plague. Nicki had set her sights on Remus, which did not amuse him.
Right then James, Lily, Sirius, and Jazz were enjoying time without their other friends before they went home for the holidays.
"JAMES!" Lily screamed as she wiped snow out of her eyes. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!"
They had been battling for a while: Lily and Jazz against Sirius and James. Right then Jazz couldn't help much because she was being tickled by Sirius. James and Lily stopped to watch their crazy friends.
"You know, that looks kind of fun," James said, eyeing Lily.
She backed away. "James don't you dare!"
He grinned and caught her easily, bringing her to the ground.
"STOP!"
James laughed as she tried to get away. "Say James wins!"
"James wins!" Lily gasped.
"You mean it?" James said, skeptically.
"NO!" Lily giggled shoving snow in his mouth.
"UGH!"
She pinned him this time, and laughed while he spit snow. Their eyes met, and Lily sighed contently. It was hard to believe that once, she couldn't stand the sight of him. He smiled at her and she felt her heart pump a little faster. She laughed when she realized James was humming one of her favorite songs.
"You're crazy, you know?" Lily said affectionately.
Another 2 inches and she could kiss him.
"Yeah, just like you," James said staring at her lips.
Lily brushed the snow out of his hair as she leaned in.
Suddenly a snowball hit her in the back of the head.
"Ow! What the-?"
Then she realized who had thrown it.
"Having fun?" Allie said icily.
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"Well that could have gone better," Jazz said, laughing at Lily.
"Shut up," Lily said, throwing her pillow at her.
They were back in their room. Nicki was downstairs trying to calm down Allie. James had dumped her. Lily wasn't sure where he was right now, although she had noticed that during the full moon, he liked to walk by the lake. She would have checked but Sirius was probably out there and Lily only wanted to talk to James.
She was confused beyond all reason. What was that out there? Was it the scenery? Winter always had been romantic to Lily. But the truth was that if Allie hadn't interrupted, Lily would have kissed James.What in the world was wrong with her? He had a girlfriend! She couldn't believe she had been so stupid as to forget. She was the reason they broke up.
"Lily?"
She looked up and saw Jazz looking concerned. "Sweetie, are you okay?"
Lily shook her head.
"You know I was kidding right? Allie won't stay mad forever. But you and James did look awfully cozy."
"Jazz, don't joke, okay?" Lily said seriously. She couldn't stand how she was feeling. Since when did James have control over all her emotions? Then she felt stupid. Who else had ever been able to make her the happiest, the angriest, or the saddest? No wonder she had missed him so much before. He was the only person who could affect her like that. Without him she was empty.
Jazz looked at her friend. "Oh my God."
Lily looked up. "What?"
Jazz looked as excited as a kid on Christmas morning. "You were going to kiss him!"
Lily's face went beet red. "No!"
Jazz was grinning. "Oh Lily! I didn't understand what was going on! You've been walking around this school with your head in the clouds and a smile a mile wide. No wonder Allie was so paranoid! You love him, Lily!"
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"You love her, James!" Sirius said.
"What are you talking about? I'm over her, remember?" James said, refusing to acknowledge what had happened that afternoon.
They were walking out to the Whomping Willow. James and Sirius had been steadily arguing about Lily the whole time.
"Why did you break up with Allie then?" Peter asked.
James sighed. "Because Allie is a controlling freak. She doesn't get to decide who my friends are."
"Oh yes," Sirius said sarcastically. "Friends. Because friends always sit on eachother."
"You would know, Sirius," Peter said.
Sirius grinned. "That's true."
"Look," James said. "Lily doesn't like me. I mean she would have said something, right?"
"James, she's shy. She's probably confused too. Allie is her friend. So are you," Sirius explained.
James rolled his eyes. "Don't you like her?"
Sirius laughed. "Of course! She's got the finest-"
James shot him a sharp look.
"-mind. I was going to say mind."
James laughed. "Right. Look, Lily and me are friends. Besides-" he said, changing into his animagus form. She told me she liked you.
Sirius grinned. "She said that?"
Hell no.
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"Lily, wait!"
She stopped and turned around. She had been looking for James all over the place, but it felt like he was avoiding her. She didn't want to go home without seeing him. They still hadn't talked out what had happened the day before.
Remus smiled. "I'll see you Christmas day, yeah?"
"Of course! Mom and Dad will probably be mad but I'll miss you guys too much otherwise."
"Great," he said, pulling her into a hug.
"Hey, have you seen James?" Lily said looking around for him. "I wanted to talk to him before I left."
Remus suddenly looked uncomfortable. "Um, no."
Lily was confused. Since when did Remus keep secrets from her?
"We've got to go anyway," Remus said. "Your parents are waiting. I think James already left."
Lily felt a little hurt. He hadn't even told her goodbye. It felt like too many things were being left unsaid. She still didn't understand why he told her to leave that night on the lake or why he had really broken up with Allie. And what was that expression he had the other day? Was that love in his eyes? Did she really love him? She felt like she would burst if they didn't talk soon.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Let's just go," Remus said irritably.
He took her hand and they apparated from Hogsmeade. Lily never saw a dark haired boy fighting through the crowd, trying to get to her.